“Look at that, we did it!” Remy said happily, slapping what looked like a massive cup she’d sat on the kitchen table. “We hit them right where it hurts!”

I looked up from my phone and glanced over at the table. Was that a trophy or a soup bowl on steroids?

“You did…what?” I was almost afraid to ask.

“We got Pi Lambda Sigma’s Greek Week trophy! Now we just have to figure out what we’re going to do with it!” Laura beamed.

“You…broke into their house and took their trophy?” I sort of gaped over at the table. What was even happening here?

“That’s what they get for calling me basic,” Remy shrugged. “And you’re my girlfriend, you should be supporting me. Tell me I did a good job!”

“Uh…”I started to say, but was rudely interrupted by Veronica rushing out of the kitchen with a piece of what I could only assume was banana nut bread on a white plate accompanied by a fork.

“Allison!” She practically shrieked. “I did it! I cooked my first loaf off zucchini bread! I want you to have the first taste!”

Okay, maybe it wasn’t banana nut bread. Is there really a difference anyway?

“Oh…wow,” I said with a smile. “I am…I am so honored!”

“Come on, try it!” She said, pushing the plate toward me. In the least few weeks I’d seen this girl burn a hard boiled egg, somehow transform no-bake cookies into brownies, and set a banana on fire. I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into here. I gingerly took the plate and glanced at her, giving her another quick smile before I took the fork between two fingers and cut a piece of the bread. I could already tell this was going to be a disaster; bread isn’t supposed to be that tough. I pursed my lips a bit and lightly shoved a piece into my mouth and chewed it, making a mock ‘mmmm’ sound as I nodded toward her.

“That is AMAZING,” I said with a smile. “You are going to ace that cooking class.”

It tasted like moldy concrete and goat piss.

“Thank you SO much!” She jumped up and down a bit, clapping her hands before rushing back into the kitchen, presumably to cook something that would kill the president of Pi Lambda Sigma. I blinked a bit before shaking my head to clear it and walked toward the table where Remy and Laura were still admiring the stolen trophy. Ignoring that for a moment I got right down to business.

“Hey so Remy?” I said, holding the plate and trying to strike the cutest possible pose. “I was wondering if maybe we could talk about um…the trans inclusion stuff? I kind of drew up a draft for-“

“Hey, hon?” Remy placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. I kind of melted. “Right now I’m REALLY busy with some house finance stuff. I literally don’t have time to think about anything else-“

“Other than stealing trophies?” I glanced at the massive cup sitting on the table.

“Okay, other than stealing trophies, but that was a matter of honor, dear,” She smirked at me.

“Yep,” Laura said. “No one calls our president ‘basic’ and gets away with it.”

“Okay,” I said, rolling my eyes. “The thing is, I have like a ton of questions. We’re accepting trans rushes but what does that mean exactly? How many do we take? What are the requirements? Do they need to be on hormones? Do they need to be presenting female? Is it on a case by case basis? I’m trying to figure out how we can make choices without looking like discriminating assholes-“

“Allison!” Remy interrupted me and laughed. “Honey, when is rush?”

“Well, next year,” I conceded. “But-“

“But nothing!” She laughed. “Look, I know you’re all gung ho about this, but like, seriously, take a few days, relax. You made it into a sorority, you’re a sister, have some fun with it. Yeah there’s going to be a ton of work but why don’t you go out and like, hang out with people? Maybe go soak up some of that well-earned fame around campus?”

To be honest I’d been avoiding the outside world pretty hard other than going to class; I had already been a YouTube sensation and the fame was a little more than I could handle. Remy had pretty much torn me a new butthole, telling me that as a journalism major I should really come to expect fame. She was right but dammit I was in college; I wasn’t a world class reporter, or a war correspondent yet, was I? She was right though, eventually I was going to have to make an appearance, especially if I wanted to keep this thing going. Besides, what the hell did I have to complain about? I’d started the school year as a geeky guy who dreamed of being a girl and now, I was a girl living in a sorority house. How did that even happen?

“You’re right,” I smiled. “I should really get out, get some fresh air, meet a cute girl or…buy a video game.”

“That’s the spirit!” She laughed. “I hear you love video games, Brianna tells me you play a lot of Elber Scrolls.”

“Elder Scrolls,” I corrected. “But uh…yeah, I mean, I guess I could hook up my PS3.”

“A PS3? You’re a gamer and you don’t even have a 4 yet?”

“I’m a little behind,” I shrugged.

“Oh boy,” She laughed. “Well get caught up, have some fun, and um…maybe next week we can talk about our policies, okay? I have a lot of things to do so…”

“So you’ll need some zucchini bread?” I suggested with a smile, handing the plate to her.

“That sounds absolutely perfect,” She said as she took the plate. “Now go, have some fun!”

I bounded up the stairs toward the room I was now sharing with Veronica. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, but Remy still had the presidential suite and she wasn’t giving it up anytime soon and I spent less time in there than you would think. She was always so busy and at the end of the day, half the time we were so tired that we would just collapse into our individual beds. You know, in the beginning of our relationship the cuddling really had been nice, but as time went on I realized it was just a sweaty affair with another person breathing down the back of your neck, and you being afraid to get up and go to the bathroom because you might wake the other person up. The perils of being the little spoon, I swear.

As I walked through the hallway and passed by one of the rooms I recoiled as a pair of panties slammed into the side of my face.

“What the hell Lila?” I shrieked as I practically slammed into the wall. “Oh…oh my…oh my god!”

“I am SO sorry,” Lila said as she came out of her room and peeled them off of my face. I cringed and nearly curled up into the fetal position. “I um…they were my favorite and I just got…mad.”

I stared at her, trying to speak but the words just weren’t coming. I sputtered a few things here and there, I think they were obscenities.

“It won’t happen again, okay?” She said. “Besides, I didn’t even know it was starting, and I’m ready now! Next time I throw a pair of panties into the hall in anger they won’t be um…you know.”

“Uh..huh…” I muttered quietly as I quickly ran from her, down the hall and toward my room. Holy shit this day was off to a great start.

My room was empty, apart from my belongings of course. Veronica must have been off somewhere doing something productive, like I should be. I’m pretty sure she volunteered at a soup kitchen on Saturdays, or the animal shelter, or…whatever it was she was into. Maybe I should get into something like that; Remy had told us that our own volunteer hours could count toward the sorority’s philanthropy hours for the month so it was worth a try, right? Pushing those thoughts out of my mind I found my purse and touched up my makeup in the vanity mirror before heading out.

“Hey, you!” Remy said as I walked down the stairs and toward the front door. “Take this back, bitch.”

I reached out and took the plate of zucchini bread from her which was now half eaten. I could tell from the look on her face that she was less than happy. I fought the urge to smirk but I think I lost. She shook her head and started to turn away when a there came a knock at the door.

“Could one of you get that?” Laura called over.

“Yeah,” I’ve got it,” I said. Anything to get away from Remy and her death glare. I brushed past her, still feeling her eyes upon me as I made my way toward the door. I was still a little apprehensive as I opened it, I don’t know why. I was kind of reminded of those days back in my dorm, especially during rush week when I’d stepped cautiously into the hallway, looking both ways to make sure no one saw me. I shouldn’t be afraid at this point, people knew who I was and it wasn’t like I was hiding some big secret anymore. Force of habit, I guess. I pulled the door open with the patent smile that Remy insisted Alpha Rho members wear when they greeted people at the door, but I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to see. It was a boy, about my age I think, tussled blonde hair and, freckles, and one of his eyes blackened, maybe from a fist. I looked him over carefully, took note of his long sleeves and his timid demeanor. He could barely keep eye contact with me, and he was tense. Like he wanted to run. “Hi…” I said cautiously.

He looked up at me for a moment, but his eyes quickly darted away, then came back to me as he tried to force words through split and blistered lips. I was starting to get freaked out, it wasn’t the first time I’d seen something like this. Finally he spoke, his voice cracking a bit.

“Are…are you Allison Parsons?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes, I am, who are you?” I tilted my head.

“Please,” He said. Please…help me.”