Synopsis: Instead of writing anything useful here I’m just going to complain about the keto diet I’m on and how I haven’t had a potato in three months….

“I am sooo excited,” Laura said as she bounced around me at the concession stand “I’ve been wanting to see this movie for ages!”

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s just too bad Remy couldn’t come.”

“Good grief,” Laura laughed. “It’s not like she has to come everywhere with us.”

“Yeah, but, I mean…” I trailed off a bit, she gave me a kind of knowing grin.

“Wow, this place is busy,” She remarked, looking around at the crowds of people in the lobby. I liked this theater, the lobby was just fantastic; tons of concession stands, an arcade, posters everywhere, and the lighting just made it feel alive. Most importantly I felt pretty safe here; it was a campus hotspot and I felt like there were plenty of people who would jump to my defense if anything happened. Laura interlocked her arm with mine and did a kind of skip to the counter where she ordered a bucked of popcorn and two large sodas. “Time to wreck our diet!”

“Well it is a Friday,” I laughed. “Who knew that other people went out on Friday?’

“Calm it down, smartass,” She snickered.

“Hey um, I have to go to the bathroom,” I said. “I can do that on my own, right?”

“I think you’ll be fine,” She gave me a reassuring smile. “I’ll wait here for the popcorn and stuff, meet you in front of theater 18?”

“You know it!” I grinned as I let go of her arm and wander off into a hallway. Just above the entrance the words ‘East Wing’ were displayed brightly with a neon tube light. I really loved this place. I skipped happily to the bathroom enjoying the feel of the air rushing between my legs; I loved wearing skirts, seriously. It felt so free.

I finally came to the bathroom and walked from the dark hallway, into the brightly lit tiled interior. Okay, do my business and get back to Laura. I couldn’t wait to see this movie. I rounded the corner and kind of gave a sigh of relief when I noticed that it was empty. Even though I passed pretty much completely as a woman I was still always a bit anxious about using women’s bathrooms. I bounded toward one of the stalls, realizing how badly I had to go, and I had almost reached it when I heard a voice behind me.

“Well shit, what do we have here?” A deep male voice said. I spun around, there were two guys standing there, one dressed in a black leather coat, the other in flannel. “I think you’re in the wrong bathroom, tranny.”

I felt the color leave my face as they laughed. One of them reached into his inner pocket and produced a switchblade knife which he wasted no time in opening. I could hear the ‘click’ of the blade echoing from the tiled walls.

“I…what do you want?” I asked nervously.

“Would you listen to that, Joe,” The blond one laughed. “It even sounds like a girl. Well, underneath all that makeup you’re just another little faggot.”

“We lost our scholarships because you fucking tattled you little crybaby,” The other guy said as they stepped toward me. I backed up but there wasn’t much room. “Maybe if you really want to be a girl you should lose something too.”

The other guy grinned. I darted. As fast as I could go, I tried to shoot around them, back toward the bathroom door. The black haired guy caught me by the arm; I yelped out in pain as I was suddenly stopped. His hand connected with my throat in a quick jab and I gasped for air as the room spun around me. I fell backward but he didn’t let me fall; instead he caught me by my hair and dragged me to the back wall. I tried to scream in pain my but my ruined throat could only produce gagging sounds as my vision blurred and by back was slammed up against the tile. The blond one reared back and punched me in the stomach, hard; I felt the wind leave my body as I lurched forward, only to receive another punch in the face. As my head cracked against the hard wall I felt blood begin to form on my lips.

“Please,” I gagged. “Please, let me go…please don’t do this…”

“Oh but don’t you want to be a girl?” The blond guy asked quizzically as he held the knife up to my face and gave it a little shake? Why don’t we take a little look at what you’ve got going on under that skirt anyway?”

“Oh, Jesus, Carson,” The tranny pissed itself.”

I immediately become brutally aware of a warmth trickling down my legs. I closed my eyes and began to sob, completely broken.

“Oh look, and it’s crying,” Joe said. “Maybe it IS a girl after all. Better finish the job.”

“HEY!” A new voice shouted; another guy. Through blurred vision I could see three new people standing at the other end of the bathroom. “Joe, Carson! Ever since you posted that crap on the school’s page I’ve been following your asses around. I knew you’d pull some crap like this. You might not be wearing our letters anymore, but I’m not going to have people associating our house with fucking hate crimes. Let her go. Now.”

“Aaron you idiot, this is a guy and you know it. Stop calling it a girl,” Carson snarled. I coughed again, more blood. I could feel it oozing from my mouth and dripping onto my top. The side of my face began to throb; it was unlike anything I’d ever felt.

“Alright you know what? If you don’t let her go, we’ll go one on one, and you know that the two of you can’t take all three of us. You ready for that?” The guy named Aaron said. Carson growled and released me. I crumped to the floor like a rag doll and rested on my hands and knees, breathing heavily between hysterical sobs as I tried to avoid planting myself into the pool of urine that had accumulated beneath me.

“What the hell are we supposed to do?” Carson demanded. “We lost our scholarships, we got expelled, no school is going to take us thanks to this little freak of nature.”

“You could run,” Aaron suggested. “I already called the police. First thing I did when I saw you walking in here. Or you could stay here, get the beatdown of your life and THEN go to jail. You’ve got options.”

“Fuck you, Aaron!” Joe spat. “And fuck you two too, Diego, and Marco. I can’t believe you’re going along with this bullshit. We were your brothers, you should have fucking stood up for us.”

“Hate isn’t something I stand up for,” One of the other guys said. “You shoulda known that by now.”

Carson and Joe stormed out of the bathroom, leaving me in a broken pile on the bathroom floor. Immediately, the three guys made a beeline over to me and sat me upright, against the wall. My legs were crumpled in front of me and I could barely hold myself up. What had just happened? Why?

“Allison?” One of the guys said. Aaron. It was Aaron. He snapped his fingers in front of me and I rolled my eyes over in his direction. “Hey, you don’t know me, I’m Aaron Hinkley, president of Delta Kappa Muh. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know…” I whispered. My throat ached; I could barely speak.

“Okay listen,” He said. “The police are on their way, we’re going to get you an ambulance. Listen, dammit, Allison, don’t do this crap. Don’t go to the bathroom on your own, don’t go ANYWHERE on your own. And for god’s sake, you need to join a house. It’s really hard to keep you safe if we don’t know where you are.”

Keep me safe? Is that what…had people actually been watching out for me?

“You should have gotten a bid from like every sorority on campus,” The one called Diego chided. “Why aren’t you wearing a pledge pin by now?”

I must have blacked out, because the next thing I knew a light was shining in my eyes; a paramedic, and a frantic Laura just beyond covering her mouth with her hands as she stared at me in horror. Kind of registered Aaron giving the police a detailed description of my attackers, and the last thing I remember hearing was a paramedic confirming that I needed to be taken to the hospital. I drifed in and out of consciousness, I don’t know for how long. I opened my eyes briefly and saw the lights of the ambulance roof, and then a tile ceiling rushing by. Screaming, needles, another light shining in my eyes.

“It’s a stab wound, abdomen,” I heard a nurse say. Had I been stabbed? Why didn’t I remember being stabbed? What was happening? I wondered it to myself as I finally blacked out entirely, letting time pass me by and my existence fade out for a bit. When I came to, Brianna was standing over me, I heard a distinct, rhythmic beeping. She was crying, or she had been crying. I could see the redness around her swollen eyes, her form framed by the bright fluorescent lights inset to the ceiling.

“Brianna?” I muttered. “What…where are we?”

“Allison?” She shrieked. “Oh…oh thank god. Laura, get the nurse!”

I saw Laura’s form rise from a nearby chair and she dashed from the room. Couldn’t they have just hit the call button?

“Brianna,” I said faintly. “I’m…sorry.”

“What? Why are you apologizing?” She shook her head incredulously. “You were attacked! Oh my god you had us all…we were so scared. I’ve been keeping mom updated; I need to call her…how are you feeling?”

“We…we need to do something,” I said. “Brianna I’m so scared, what do we do?”

“YOU do nothing,” She said sternly. I’m pulling the plug on this thing. You’re going to join a house, for protection. The other Greek houses will watch out for you, they might have different letters but they take care of their own, I promise. You’re going to lay low, you’re going to finish school. We shouldn’t have pushed you into this, not after a month and a half of you coming out, you weren’t ready. Jesus, I can’t believe this. I’m sorry.”

What was she talking about? I’d always wanted to be a part of this fight but I’d been too afraid to come out, I knew it was a possibility but…how could she take me out of it? She couldn’t do that, could she?

“Brianna, no, I can’t…” I moaned a bit as my stomach lurched and then broke into a series of soft whimpers. She laid her hand on my shoulder.

“Look, we thought about moving you to a different college, mom and I, but you’ve made friends here and I don’t want to just uproot you, so you’re going to get yourself into a house, one of the nine that gave you bids. This isn’t a negotiation; if I have to pick one I will. I can’t be with you all the time, but they can, even if it’s not Alpha Gamma. Okay look, you get some rest now, seriously. We’ll talk about this in a few days. For right now, right NOW you stay in this bed and don’t think about ANYTHING but getting better, do you understand me?”

What was I even supposed to say? There was nothing I could say; I just did as she demanded and let my head drop onto the pillow as the sound of machines around me drowned out the noise in the rest of the hospital beyond the room. I had to keep fighting, somehow.