TW: Transphobia

Death is weird..

It certainly wasn’t what I expected.
A little over 2 months ago, I died in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. I’d convinced my friends that I wasn’t that drunk and that I'd be able to drive home no problem. I never made it.

I don’t know what I expected to happen after that but it certainly wasn’t waking up the very next morning.

I’d woken up halfway across the country in a body I didn't know. In a life I didn’t recognize.
Everywhere but in my head, I was now Paul Nichols and all around me the world carried on like nothing had happened. To the world, Eddie Russo had died late last night at a tragically young age of 21.

To me, I was trapped in another man's body.
It didn’t last however because the very next day, I woke up in another man's body.

I’ve been 67 different men since then and if I’m being honest, it’s not gotten any easier. But I have gotten some understanding. I know how it works. It doesn’t make any sense but I know what to expect.

Everyday I wake up as a different person and everyday I try my best to leave their life how I found it. It’s not an exact science so there have been slip ups but there hasn’t been a worldwide hunt for ‘the body snatcher' so I think I’m doing alright.

=^..^=

When I open my eyes this morning, the first thing I notice is the hair. Personally I’m not a fan but I’ve been a few guys with a decent length hair so I’ve gotten used to it. This guy's hair is even longer than I'd gotten used to.

I wonder where I am. I’ve been so many places, it’s one of the few advantages of whatever this is.

I’m suddenly bothered by the unfamiliar feeling pushing up against my arm. I jerk to my feet. There’s a huge influx of new information. The room is bigger than I thought. It is strangely bare. There’s light chatter coming from downstairs. I have breasts.

I quickly scan the room before rushing to the first mirror I see. It’s a large one on what I assume to be a wardrobe. I play this game where I guess who I’m going to be next. I’m entirely wrong.

She's beautiful. I’m a woman.
My heart's beating. I was sure nothing else could surprise me.

I’m stunned as I stare at my reflection. She’s small but not tiny. Her breasts are barely visible underneath the large t-shirt she’s wearing.

I stare at her face. She’s very pretty. Her hair although messy, frames her face very well. I feel dirty as it finally registers that she's underage. I’ve never been this young before. She can’t be more than 16.

I get uncomfortable again when I feel it. That familiar feeling between my legs. I usually try to avoid this but I have to be sure. My hands wonder and confirm my suspicions. He’s one of those weirdos.

I focus for the first time today. Whatever this kid wants to do to his body is his business. I just have to endure it for 24 hours. I have a system. I stay home all day. It’s trickier when you're living under someone else's roof but I’ve been in high school 3 times before so I know what to do. I practice my sick face.

=^..^=

I smell eggs as I reach the stairs and hunger hits me for the first time. He must not have eaten last night.

The house is fairly modern with polished metal and glass making up most surfaces. The curved staircase is see through which makes me dizzy in the unfamiliar body.

I’d added a pair of shorts to my attire since my realization and I hadn’t looked in the mirror since. It feels wrong. I’ve gotten used to my situation by now. I generally know what to do and how to act around people who know and love me but I have no memory of. But today I'm off. Distracted.

This is around time when I look for the person's phone. If I’m lucky, it’s fingerprint enabled. I’d found his phone, a newer model but I hadn’t touched it yet. Gallery, Facebook, my usual routine. But I didn’t want to look at this freak’s life. No, I’d find a parent and convince them to let me stay home. Lock myself in and wait for this day to end.

Hopefully this doesn’t start a trend. How many of these people can there be anyway?

“In the kitchen, honey" a woman's voice calls.
I take a deep breath before I follow the voice. I can't leave the house wearing whatever weird shit this kid wears.

“Hey mum" I say in the weakest voice I can muster. I usually never assume a relationship but I am desperate. I have to sell the sick angle.

She turns to me worried. “That’s not the voice I’ve grown accustomed to. You okay?”
She has a wrist on her hip as she looks intently in my eyes. She's young. Can’t be more than 40. The two share a lot of features the most prominent being their thick brown hair.

“I’m.. not" My face falls. “I don’t think I can make it in to school today". Playing so many different roles has made me a wonderful actor.

She closes the gap between us. She’s not a tall woman but she’s still taller than I am. She places a hand on my shoulder which falls to rub my arm.

“You said things were better at school. Do we need to go see the principal again?”
Crap. That’s not where I was going with this.

“They are, I’m just not feeling well" I reply with a groan in my voice.

She takes a seat at the kitchen counter and gestures for me to do the same.

“We both knew it wasn’t going to be easy but you can’t just skip school whenever you don’t want to deal with things.”

“Mum, I...” None of this was going the way I planned.

“Now Laura, what’s wrong? You’ve been so happy recently"

He goes by Laura now apparently.

“I just didn't...” I break again. Once again at a loss for words. I don’t know how to salvage this.

The footsteps getting louder by the second draw our attention away from the conversation.

“Mum?” A young boy calls out even though he’s already clearly walking in our direction.
My mother just looks at me. The same worried look on her face but there’s also compassion and care.

When the owner of voice finally reveals himself, mum's expression changes instantly into a bright and cherry one.

“There’s my little man" she says walking to him. He’s around eleven if I had to guess.
She places a hand on his head and rubs it.

“Mum stop!” he laughs. He turns to me. “Hey ‘sis'” I can hear it in his voice.

It’s not aggressive but it’s not genuine either. Who can blame him?

So far, today has not gone according to plan.
“Where’s Dad?” The boy asks.

Mum's expression flickers slightly before returning to that perfect smile. “You know your father. Always working”

“He's coming to watch me play today right?” he looks up at her expectantly.

I can tell mum isn’t sure but she doesn't want to disappoint those pleading eyes.

“Yes honey, we all are" She turns to me and says “Laura's going to be there too even though she hates football"

I don't. I wasn’t pro level but i was pretty good.

“I can't” I say sharply. Last thing I need is to add more events to an already hectic day. I’m still yet to process my strange body. “I have plans"

“Not using your new voice?” The boy asks.

“Hey leave it" Mum comes to my defence but a second later is turning to me “What plans?”

You got a date sis?” The boy asks with a snicker.

“I don't have a date" I am disgusted.

“Is it that Murphy kid? You too have been spending so much time together" mum asks seeming genuinely interested.

“Mum, no" I am so uncomfortable. “Can we drop this?” I hate being so young. A couple days ago, I was 70 years old. I miss that.

“Ok fine" she laughs “Breakfast is almost ready. Go get dressed.” She turns and walks back to the counter.

I stand so I’m right in her face “ Can I please stay home today?” I plead.

“Absolutely not. Go, hurry".

=^..^=

I try and fail to not look at his body while in the shower. I can't believe what he’s done to it. His swollen chest, tiny waist and hairless skin leave me baffled at what he's managed to do to his body. He's so clearly female everywhere except down there. He’s also on the hotter side if I’m being honest.

I remember myself at this age. Had pretty much any girl I wanted. It was a good life. Why any dude would choose this is beyond me.

I don the large pink robe hanging by the bathroom door mostly because I don’t want to look at him any longer.

I shiver as a cool breeze rushes past me when I open the bathroom door. My erect nipples catch me by surprise. I cup my breasts to try to get the uncomfortable feeling to go away and for the first time, I get a sense of their size.

They’re not big. I wouldn’t even consider a girl with this size tits but on me they feel massive. From this spot right outside the bathroom, I’m in full view of the mirror. I look at myself with my hands over my breasts and the uncomfortable feeling returns. He's very feminine. Very delicate.

I walk closer to the mirror to take him in. I pinch my face and pull my lips. Everything is so soft. The exact opposite of how I looked at this age.

For a second, I wish the manly parts weren’t there so as to get a more complete person but I catch myself. I did not just wish for a vagina.

=^..^=

His wardrobes are a juxtaposition. Every underwear is as feminine as possible. Frills and laces, pinks and purples. Every outerwear however is unisex at best. I’m relieved to see so many jeans and t-shirts.

It doesn’t take long for me to have on all my clothes. Finally accepting that I’d have to wear panties was the biggest hurdle but one I eventually overcame when I couldn’t find any briefs.

I never did put on that bra.
The jeans are super tight and my breasts seem pronounced in every shirt I put on but it is cold enough to wear a jacket so that isn't a problem.

=^..^=

He eat breakfast in silence so I use this opportunity to check my phone and subsequently my life. The phone unlocks just by looking at it leaving his entire life at my fingertips.

His Medical ID app is particularly useful in finding out intimate information that's sure to be of use today.

Name: Laura Hill
Medical Conditions: Transgender
Medical Notes: In case of emergency, call MUM
Allergies: Acrylic
Medications: 2mg Proginova twice, 100g Spiro twice
Weight: 119lbs
Height: 5’4.

I find contact info for a Peter Hill(Dad), Susan Hill(Mum), Murphy and others.

When I come across a Voice Notes app, I know this is something I’ll have to look at if today is to go as smoothly as the others.

I ask to be excused already on my feet before waiting for a reply and head upstairs. There are over 50 recordings in the app. I play the most recent one.

The delicate voice that comes from the speakers catch me by surprise. I begin to wonder if this is really him speaking but who else could it be. This recording is from last night.

“I’m not going to make a long entry tonight. I feel horrible. And so sleepy" His voice is even more delicate than he looks which is saying something. “ I feel I may faint any second. The medication makes me tired a lot but this is different. I feel like my consciousness is being pushed aside"

There is a long pause. I can hear him struggling to breathe.

“Mum" he barely manages a whisper “I can’t keep my eyes open."

There is a silence that seems to last indefinitely before the recording stops by itself.

“What was that?” I think to myself. My mind begin to drift but that doesn't last long.

“Laura! The bus!” Lucas yells from downstairs.

=^..^=

The yellow bus is just pulling up as I walk down the stairs. I’m scared. It’s not the first time I’ve had to go out as someone else. I usually find a way to stay home but that doesn’t always work out.

Today though, everything is different. Some days have been fun like that one day I was filthy rich. Today most certainly isn’t. It’s a chore.

“Don’t worry honey, you'll have a great day" my mum says as she meets me at the door. She’s worried. I can tell. So am I.

“Thanks" I reply with little emotion.

“Now who's my little princess?” She asks smiling with an expectant look.

Lucas snickers. I look at mum pleading but she will not be deterred.

I sigh audibly. “I am" I reluctantly reply.

She hugs me tightly.

“The bus...” I remind her. It’s clear she doesn’t want to let me go but she does anyway.

“Bye mum" Lucas says as he jogs for the bus. I’d found out that he’s 12 while looking through the phone but he seems older than I.

“Bye sweetie" She replies in that cheerful tone she always uses with him.
I make my way for the bus knowing that the hard part is yet to come.

=^..^=
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I really appreciate any feedback I receive as I enjoy knowing exactly what the readers think. See you in the comments. Thanks for reading.