Maiden by Decree
Chapter Eleven
 By Maggie Finson
 
Reconciliation

or, I Didn’t buy Into This But I Seem to be Stuck with it

 

Reconciliation

or, I Didn’t buy Into This But I Seem to be Stuck with it

“I’m really worried about her.” Garret looked towards the door to Deirdre’s bedchambers — thankfully quiet now, but that was worrisome, too. “She was doing so well for a while, then suddenly went berserk.”

“It isn’t your fault, brother.” Jessica tried to reassure him. “You had no more control over what has been happening than she has. The problem here is that she has finally understood that she is powerless to stop what is happening and that she will never be able to go back to what she was.”

“That’s why I’m so worried.” He answered quietly. “I never intended to cause this kind of pain to anyone, especially not to Deirdre.”

“You haven’t caused this, brother dear.” Jessica told him while giving him a hug. “You’re caught up by the prophecy as fully as Deirdre is. Neither of you has been given a real choice in what has happened. So tell me. Do you love her?”

“Why else would I be so worried and feeling so guilty about what’s happened?” He shot back, then relaxed and returned her hug. “I’m head over heels in love with her, and am afraid that she hates me.”

“You need to explain to her that you’re as much a victim of this prophecy as she is then.” Jessica flatly told him. “Tell her that you were irresistibly drawn to Derek even though you tried to fight that, and that your choosing him after the tournament was something you couldn’t stop even if you’d wished to.”

“Would she believe me?” Garret asked plaintively then went on. “I don’t believe it, and I’ve known about this Gods be damned prophecy since I reached puberty. Why couldn’t I just have been meant to find a real girl with the qualities Deirdre has?”

“I don’t know, brother.” Jessica answered softly. “But what is, is. You both need to accept the status quo and move on.”

“Easy for you to say that.” He retorted. “I have to face her after this, and there is no way she is going to believe that I’m as caught up in the magic as she is. You already know how she is.”

“I know that she is a highly intelligent young lady who doesn’t simply accept things she’s told no matter who gave her the information.” Jessica sighed. “She’ll realize that you’re telling her the truth if you have the backbone to tell her, and be able to accept that.”

“Oh, I have the backbone to do that.” He answered quietly. “But how do I handle the fact that she’s finally realized that she won’t ever be able to go back to being Derek? An apology won’t work, I can tell you that much without going into it any further.”

“Just tell her that you’re as much a victim of this prophecy as she is.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll believe that one.” He snorted.

“It’s the truth, so she will believe it eventually.” Jessica shrugged. “Until then all you can do is love her and let her know that you do. She’ll respond in time.”

“We’ve been so damned sure of all this up to now.” Shaking his head, Garret let out a long, heavy sigh. “Everyone was just so certain things were going to turn out perfectly. No one ever considered Deirdre’s feelings when all these plans to get her inserted into palace life were being made.”

“The fact that she does have feelings that weren’t put in her mind is a good sign, brother.” Jessica gave him a slow smile. “She will be a mate fit for you, and is potentially the answer to a lot of problems the kingdom as a whole isn’t aware of.”

“But first.” Garret responded. “She needs to accept what has happened to her, and understand that I had nothing to do with it other than to be there when her cusp arrived.”

“Trust in yourself and your honesty.” Jessica told him. “She will see both in a new light after tonight, I’m sure.”

* * * *

Deirdre stared at the one mirror in her chambers that she hadn’t shattered.

What she was seeing put an end to any hope she had ever held about going back to being Derek.

“I didn’t agree to this happening!” She sobbed while looking over the now unclothed, and very female image she saw in that mirror. “I — I’m a woman now.”

The reflection looking desolately back at her confirmed that. The gown, voluminous petticoats, and other underwear had been shed, and the nude form remaining left no doubt that Deirdre was a woman.
And a very beautiful one at that.

Thick, glossy raven hair tumbled across her shoulders and down her back with exuberance she couldn’t share. The midnight black curls and waves reached down to her nicely rounded buttocks that drew the eye to the soft swell of female hips and smooth, elegantly shaped legs.

Her waist was narrow and higher than a male’s would be, and looking at that led her unwilling eyes to the swell of firm, beautiful breasts that promised much delight to the man who won her affections. As if she was ready to even think about something like that.

Her face was perfect. A smooth oval, with even, delicate features dominated by large ice blue eyes framed by thick, curling raven lashes and surmounted by beautifully arched brows. If Derek had seen this vision before all the upset since he’d gone to that tournament, he would have been in simple awe.

But this unapproachable beauty was him! Or her as the most disturbing part of the reflection showed. Where once the triple badges of manhood had reigned, there was nothing. Or rather something that had no relation to what had been.

“No.” Trembling, Deirdre reached down to tentatively explore the new terrain of her crotch. Folds of flesh concealing an opening, far from the admittedly small cock and balls she had once possessed, but quite emphatically female. Derek had seen the same more than once with the close quarters he’d shared with his sister and mother. But to see that kind of thing residing in his — her — own crotch was almost too much to bear.

Reluctant fingers, slimmer than they had been before, slowly parted those folds of flesh to reveal the opening behind them and the tiny nub that her penis had become. “Nooo.”

Still, unwilling fingers probed beyond that, to discover a channel, a warm, moist tunnel, that shouldn’t be part of Derek’s anatomy, but was quite normal for Deirdre.

“I’ve turned into a woman.” She closed her eyes and let the tears run down her cheeks without trying to quell them. “This wasn’t what I was told would happen, that I could go back to being Derek after this year was finished. Now that is never going to happen.”

“Why?!!” She screamed, and started throwing things again, this time smashing the mirror that implacably showed what she had become.

* * * *

“She’s started in again.” Garret needlessly told his sister with a worried look at the still closed door. “I wish she’d come out of her chambers and take that out on me.”

“It isn’t your fault, Garret.” Jessica softly told him.

“Then why is it that I feel like it is?” He miserably responded.

“You love her.”

“But does she love me in return?” He questioned.

“I think so.” Jessica smiled sadly. “She just has to get past the realization that she’ll never be able to go back to being Derek right now, that can’t be easy.”

“No, I don’t imagine it is.” He sighed. “I know I couldn’t handle what has happened to her.”

“You weren’t intended to.” Jessica answered simply. “You are supposed to love her, and know how to handle all her tempers. And trust me brother, your lady is going to be a handful.”

“Gods DAMN that prophecy and the magic that shrouds it!” Throwing the cup he had been drinking from against the wall with enough force to bend the simple iron, Garret shook his head. “It is causing more pain for us than anyone should be expected to endure.”

“Tempering, like a good smith does with fine steel.” Jessica reached out and set a hand on her brother’s shoulder, squeezing it in a comforting gesture. “In time both of you will thank that prophecy for what it did, I’m sure.”

“Why did I have to get a real witch for a sister?” Garret muttered then smiled at Jessica to soften that question and its implications.

“I can no more help what I am than you and Deirdre can.” Jessica returned the smile a little sadly. “It has been my burden to understand the prophecy and its magic since I was old enough to know the differences between boys and girls went beyond the way they dressed or were expected to act.”

“Then why didn’t you warn me?” He asked with pain clear in his voice.

“It would have changed nothing, dear one.” Jessica gave him a sad look and shook her head. “Telling you would only have served to have you agonizing over things you had no control over long before they started happening.”

“For some reason, that doesn’t make me feel any better about all this just now.”
“It shouldn’t.” Jessica told him. “Your love for Deirdre, and hers for you wasn’t foreordained, but both are very real now. Just give her time to realize that, too.”

“I bow to your superior knowledge.” He quietly told her.

“No, you bow to the inevitable love of a man and woman who were meant to be together.” Jessica firmly retorted, then grinned. “And nothing short of direct intervention from the gods can change that.”

* * * *

Deirdre, she knew she would never be Derek again, had stopped throwing things, and cried herself out on top of that. In the odd calm that she felt after the blowup, she reluctantly examined her feelings.

Was being like she was now so horrible? Honestly she had to answer no to that one. She was attractive and beyond that, something she’d never been as an undersized boy. She was beautiful, and men, though the idea of males being interested in her still seemed repugnant, were actually vying for her attention. Something girls had never done with Derek.

Would she find someone to love her as she was, without reservations or demands? Yes, she had, though the still male sensibilities she possessed tried to recoil from that idea. She knew Garret loved her. He wouldn’t have put up with her tempers if he didn’t. But that didn’t help all the much just now. She was still mourning the loss of her anticipated manhood.

Was the loss worth the gain? That took some thinking, but finally she had to admit that it was when looked at with a long view. Derek had nothing, and not one prospect for anything better other than being a dressmaker’s apprentice and eventually a dressmaker himself. Deirdre, on the other hand had Garret, the approval of his family, and elevation into the nobility along with being part of a wealthy and influential family. Influence she could use to help her mother and sister, and even friends, to attain a comfortable life at last without the constant struggle Derek had watched since he was old enough to understand things like that.

Was giving up his manhood such a high price for being sure his loved ones would no longer want for even the simple things in life?

The answer, though Derek in Deirdre tried to fight it — unsuccessfully — was a resounding yes.

Could the Derek that was adjust to being the Deirdre that is?

Probably.

Would it be easy?

No.

Could the newly minted girl do it?

Damned right she could! Deirdre was no wallflower waiting for something to reach out and invite her to do something. Deirdre was a hellion who had even the King and Queen shaking their heads in admiring amusement at some of the things she’d done so far.

Was she a Lady?

Not yet. But she was learning. Although the needlepoint kind of grated because she hated concentrating on something so inconsequential.

And lastly, but most importantly. Did she love a man?

That took some thought, but Deirdre had to admit to herself that the answer to that uncomfortable question was nothing but a definite yes. Even as Derek, she had been in love with Garret, though the masculine sensibilities Derek had been striving to preserve tried to interfere. The answer was a solid YES! With accompanying trumpets, bells, and choral arrangements.

Did the new she have to let Garret know that yet?

Nope.

She, and Deirdre knew that she was what she was now, and suspected that she always had been that way despite her one-time physical sex, was head over heels in love with the knight who had picked her out of the crowd at the tournament.

But…

Did she have to let HIM know that just yet? Really?

Hell NO!!!

Let Garret squirm a bit, like Derek had at first. Fair is fair, after all.

Still not quite accepting that the former he was now an undeniable she, Deirdre worked to forget all the adjustments that she would have to make, and chuckled evilly as she thought of the many ways she could make Garret suffer to mirror what she had gone through. Then she was overcome with remorse at having those thoughts.

But she wouldn’t change it for anything. Her love had been tested, let his go through something similar and that didn’t mean putting up with her admittedly volatile temper.

Things weren’t finished yet, but she was a bit more comfortable with what was happening. Grimacing, and muttering a few curses, Deirdre slid her feet into a pair of delicate slippers to avoid the broken glass and crockery from cutting her feet, and found a rather diaphanous robe to wrap her nakedness in.

If she was going to confront Garret, she was going to use every weapon at her disposal. Even if that was the beautiful, female body she now had. Women had used those assets before, she reasoned. So why shouldn’t I?”

Deirdre knew that it would be more than a little while before she was comfortable with her new sex and sexuality. But she intended to make the most of that discomfort and shock a few people with her public response.

She laughed softly in spite of her misgivings.

“All right.” She told the fragmented image in the broken mirror. “If I have to be a female, I’m damned sure going to be a strong one.

Still, there was the niggling doubt that she wasn’t ready to do this. And that she was still Derek under a delusional spell of some sort.

Deirdre shrugged that off. She was what she was. Protesting, fighting it, and expecting others outside of the reality she had been through to notice and call attention to the fact that ‘The Lady Deirdre of Jhalmar’ was actually an underdeveloped boy wasn’t something that anyone not intimate with the circumstances cared about, made no difference.

Sighing, she moved to shove the furniture she had slammed against the door during the height of her rage away from where she had pushed it.

Marveling at the idea that she had pushed the heavy wardrobe and counterpane against the door without hurting herself, Deirdre stared to slowly and carefully move those two large pieces of furniture from in front of the door leading to her receiving room.

“I moved these things by myself?” She asked while grunting and straining to get the pieces away from the door. At least enough for her to open it — the door opened inward — and see who was outside.

Hopefully, though she refused to admit it. Garret would be waiting in her receiving room.

* * * *

“It’s been awfully quiet in there recently.” Garret worried.

“She’s thinking about things, I’m sure.” His sister answered and gave him a hug to bolster him. “Give her time.”

“I still worry.” Garret sighed. “I’ve never known Deirdre to be so quiet.”

“She’s getting used to what she is now.” Jessica answered. “She’s known deep down for some time, but this abrupt confirmation at the ball was probably a bit more than she was willing to accept at the time.”

“Which leaves us where?” Garret questioned.

“Right now.” Jessica sighed. “I don’t have a better idea about that than you do brother.”

“You know,” Garret answered, still staring at the closed door. “That doesn’t make me feel better at all.”

* * * *

Sounds of furniture being moved came from beyond the door to Dierdre’s bed chambers.

“Is that encouraging?” Garret asked Jessica.

“Well, she isn’t screaming while she does it.” His sister replied then added. “And these sounds are a lot more deliberate than when she was throwing things.”

“Meaning?”

“She hasn’t cut off all communications.” Jessica told him then smiled. “In fact, she’s inviting more just now.”

“How do you manage to think that?”

“She’s moving things away from the door.”

“Why?” He asked. “So I’m lulled into walking into her gutting me?”

“Brother dear.” Jessica grinned. “You have no clue about what makes a woman do things. Trust me. Be there when the door opens.”

“That coming from the same person who told me The Prophecy was basically harmless.” He countered.

“Has anyone been really hurt so far? Physically, I mean?” Jessica countered with a half smile.

“No one but Derek.” Garret shot back.

“Derek would have become Deirdre whether you showed interest in the so-called boy, or not.” Jessica answered while taking a slow sip from her cup. “You were drawn to Derek, like Derek was pulled to where you would be.”

“I believe that.” Garret sighed. “But will she?”

“Eventually.” Jessica patted her brother’s shoulder. “Just give her time.”

“Time.” He shook his head. “Neither she or I have the luxury of letting time go its course now, you know that!”

“The throne will take care of itself for the time being.” Jessica calmly told him. “Cedric is far from his dotage, after all. Let the poor girl realize that she’s a girl before you throw other things at her.”

“But she’s…”

“I know, Garret, I know.” Jessica gently put her hand to his mouth. “Don’t say it aloud just now. We have more than enough complications to deal with as it is.”

His retort was stopped as the sound of the door to Deirdre’s bed chambers opening. Slowly, and not all the way, but it opened.

Garret was there when it even reached a crack that would admit light. “Deirdre! Are you all right?”

“Define ‘All right’.” A soft voice came from behind the door as one bright blue eye peered out of the narrow opening the barely opened door offered.

“Are you injured?”

“Not physically.” Deirdre replied as the blue eye continued to stare out of the barely opened door without blinking.

“Come out.” Garret pleaded. “Talk to me.”

“That hasn’t done me any good up to now.” Deirdre shot back without widening the slight opening in the door. “Why should I trust you now after what else has happened?”

“Dammit!” Garret hissed to avoid shouting. “I’m as much a victim of this damned prophecy as you are. Do you think I ever had a choice in this? I was drawn to you, like you were drawn to me!”

“So you say.” Deirdre responded, but the eye in the slight opening of the door blinked. “Prove it.”

“I’m here.” Garret was getting exasperated. “Do you need anything else?”

“I’m your legitimate claim to the seat of your father’s duchy.” She shot back. “How do I know that isn’t all you’re concerned with?”

“Dammit, woman!” Garret actually shouted. “You are impossible! How can I convince you I really love you when you constantly throw challenges at me?”

“Woman.” Deirdre answered. “That’s the problem here you know. I’m still getting used to the idea that I’m one of those instead of a boy, or man like I hoped to be once upon a time!”

“That would have never happened, Deirdre.” Garret softened his voice and let the entreaty he felt come through. “You would have become a girl whether I’d chosen you at that tournament or not. I couldn’t HELP choosing you, whether you believe that or not. I was drawn to you as you were drawn to be there for me to choose!”

“Then why didn’t you just TELL me that at the start?”

“When you were so adamant about NOT being a girl?” He asked with a trace of humor beginning to return. “I mean you scandalized the ladies waiting to prepare you properly for meeting me by claiming that you weren’t a girl, as I recall.”

“I showed them, too.” Deirdre chuckled then turned serious again. “But if you already knew all this, why didn’t you tell me at the start of things?”

“Because I would have lost you.” He answered quietly.

“Gods.” Deirdre swore softly. “You knew you loved me even then?”

“I was smitten when Jessica and I accidentally saw you in the back room in that gown.” He admitted.

“So you waited until I showed up at the tournament then picked me for your lady?” Deirdre asked then shook her head. “Wait a minute here. Why did I go to the tournament in the first place so you could find me there?”

“Don’t ask me questions I can’t answer.” Garret sighed while he shook his head. “I saw you in the stands and just knew that you were the one I was meant to choose.”

“You aren’t just telling me that, are you?” Deirdre gave him a searching look then reluctantly allowed a smile to show on her lovely face. “You had no more choice than I did!”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” Garret spread his arms and opened his hands in a helpless gesture. “I saw you twice, and couldn’t get you out of my mind after the first time. When I won and could choose, I just had to pick you!”

“Someone has to know what this is all about.” Deirdre grumbled.

“Someone does.” Jessica joined them and entered the conversation. “Though I can’t really tell you all that much more just now. The magic of the prophecy is more than a little secretive about what it does. The nature of prophecies, I fear.”

“If you know anything.” Deirdre shot back. “Why did this happen to me?”

“You are the Chosen.” Jessica answered with a shrug. “Don’t ask me why, the gods choose as they will, but it’s clear that you should have been a girl from birth. This mess is simply redressing that mistake. Don’t even try to ask me why that is, I don’t know. All I can tell you is that you and my brother were fated to be together.”

“That is no help at all.” Deirdre told the woman then turned to Garret, stood, and reached for the partings of the robe she had put on before venturing out of her bed chambers. “Look at what you did, Garret.”

She pulled her robe away from her body and let it drop from her shoulders, revealing herself in glorious nudity. “THIS is what happened because of that gods be damned prophecy! Do you at least like what you see?”

Garret had nothing to say. He was, in fact, stunned beyond the capability of forming a coherent answer for a few minutes.

“LOOK at me!” Deirdre leaned forward and quietly demanded as her breasts moved seductively with her motion. “Is this what the two of you planned for me?”

Even Jessica was speechless as the newly made girl showed off her considerable assets. Deirdre moved forward to push one of her pert, full breasts into Garret’s face. “Is this what you were wanting?”

Deirdre took one of Garret’s hands and set it between her legs. “I lost something to get this. Do you think you can make that up to me? Go ahead, feel it, play with it. I haven’t had the nerve to try that yet.”

Garret yanked his hand back, well away from her crotch and shook his head. “Not until you are really willing to let me.”

“I’m willing now.” Deirdre shot back. “Go on! Take advantage of what you’ve been waiting for since we first met!”

“I — I can’t.” He told her with a helpless shrug that was very uncharacteristic for the pre-eminent knight of the realm.

“Why not?” The young woman who had been a boy so recently demanded.

“Because you’d hate me for the rest of our lives if I took advantage of you now.” He quietly told her.

“Why won’t you do it?!!” She screamed. “I’m here, I’m obviously female and I’m ready. What do you care if I hate you?”

“I care.” Garret told her, carefully gathering her into a non-sexual hug that conveyed his love, but pushed his lust far away.

“Why?” Deirdre was crying, and trying to pull away from his hug.

“I don’t know.” He answered, releasing her as she wanted, but she didn’t move away, simply stood next to him.

“Your soul was always female.” Jessica quietly entered the conversation and gently rubbed Deirdre’s shoulder. “It was meant to join with my brother’s male soul.”

“I never wanted to be a girl!” Deirdre protested.

“Neither did I.” Jessica told her. “Neither has any born female. It just happened and we deal with that. You had the misfortune to be born into a body that was the wrong sex is all. The prophecy is correcting that.”

“I can’t accept that answer!” Deirdre shouted. “I never even thought about being a girl, or even dressing up as one!”

“Neither did I.” Jessica answered with amusement clear in her voice.
“But that’s how things turned out. I handle it, so can you.”

“But you were born to it!”

“So were you, dear.” Jessica told her. “You just came out in the wrong body to be what you were meant to be.”

”This is going around in circles.” Deirdre muttered.

“Circles are power, dear one.” Jessica told her. “You have that in plenty.”

“So what am I supposed to do?”

“Embrace it.” Jessica answered. “The rest will come in its own good time.”

“That is no help at all.”

“It will be in time, dear sister.” Jessica gave her a hug.

Deirdre gave Garret a glare. “Don’t get your hopes up, bucko. It will be a really strange day in the Nine Hells when I actually LET you enjoy that.”

“I’m patient.” Garret answered without being put off by her announcement.

“You might try joining a monastery while you’re waiting.”

“I will be more celibate than the most pious monk while I wait for you, my love.”

“This is NOT what I had in mind at all.”

“I love you Deirdre.” Garret told her quietly.

“Go abuse yourself and forget about me.” She hopefully suggested.

“I’m saving myself for you.” He replied.

“Isn’t that what the girl is supposed to do?”

Garret leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her forehead. “It works both ways, my love.”

Glowing internally from that touch, Deirdre managed to answer. “So you say. Prove it.”

“I intend to do that.”