Filas woke with a start. It only took her a few seconds to realize why she woke up in the middle of the night. The neighbours’ party apparently had gained some more fun, so they had turned up the music. There was no way she could fall asleep again with that noise, considering there also seemed to be some people on their balcony, talking very loudly. She might just open the window and tell them to be quieter, but she was feeling way too dysphoric and socially anxious for that. She yawned. What could she do until the music was turned down again?

She turned on the lamp that was attached to her bed, slipped out of her bed and checked her alarm. It was 2 a.m. She yawned again and stumbled towards her desk. She had charged her mobile phone before going to bed and now was able to check it for notifications. There were some new notes from Kim. Filas smiled, took her phone with her and laid down in bed again. She opened Kim’s page. Apparently she had got some questions since Filas had last checked. Scrolling through that page, reading Kim’s replies, she couldn’t help herself but smile and like all of them. Soon she reached the picture Kim had posted in the evening and admired her beauty for a bit. Her long, soft, black hair. Her lip piercing. And, most of all, her eyes, shining out of Filas’s phone, while she was unable to tell their colour. Were they blue or grey? But it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was the deep connection she felt to that Dutch girl and that she just knew how much she loved her.

Filas was about to check her own social media pages, when suddenly her phone was vibrating. Who might send her a message at this time? She checked and immediately her frown turned into a smile.

“Hey, I saw you liked some of my posts :)”

Filas replied immediately.

“Hey, yeah, neighbours are having a party, means I can’t sleep ^^”

“Damn, suckers…”

“Yeah, but at least I can chat a bit with you now ^^”

“Hehe, oh you xD”

“Well, you know me ^^ You can’t sleep either, it seems?”

“Yeah, I’m just not tired yet ^^”

They chatted for about 45 minutes, and Filas felt a lot calmer and happier, but her body also felt increasingly tired.

“Well, it seems like the neighbours have finished their party… Maybe because it’s raining now ^^ I guess I should try to catch some more sleep now…”

“Yeah, sounds good, I think I’m tired enough for sleep now as well ^^”

“Good :) And thanks for the chat, it was really sweet :)”

“Hehe, you’re welcome ^^ Sweet dreams ^_^”

“Sleep well and sweet dreams to you as well, sweetie :)”

Filas waited another 30 seconds, but her phone remained silent now. She turned it mute and put it on the shelves next to her bed before turning off the lights again and covering herself with her blanket. She turned around and listened to the rain dropping softly against her windows, calming her down even more. She smiled as she was falling asleep, with love in her heart.

Mist was creeping out of the forests, covering also the road, making it impossible to see more than a few metres ahead. Filas felt like she surrounded by the void, which even seemed to mute the environment. Her hands were constantly at the brake levers, in order to not gain too much speed on her way down that mountain. She didn’t remember the whole course of the road by heart and wanted to avoid crashing down the slope. Most importantly though, through the mist she couldn’t make out any zombies soon enough by view, and the headwind didn’t allow her to hear them approach her soon enough either. She just had to be especially careful on her way down.

Filas had got up quite early in the morning. She definitely didn’t want to stay with the Hanses for any longer than necessary. After taking her estrogen pills, she had packed her luggage and gone downstairs. Mrs Hanse had already been up as well, giving Filas a slice of bread with some cheese for breakfast. This also gave Filas the opportunity to ask her for a well-supplied pharmacy close to Roehrenspring, considering her meds were running out indeed and she needed to refill them as soon as possible. Mrs Hanse had given her the directions to the largest pharmacy in Sundern, the next small town. Unfortunately, the pharmacy was in the centre of the town, but Filas hoped it hadn’t been overrun by zombies. And that was where she’d be headed as soon as she made it down that hill.

Filas had got back her bike and weapons from the guards at the road to the village which she had used the day before. It was maybe 7 a.m., but she didn’t know for sure. She had no watch, phones weren’t working anymore, and even at the Hanse’s there were no functioning clocks. There were more important things to use batteries for than knowing the time these days. The only indicators for knowing the time were the sun and the moon and the stars, and maybe the mist to some degree. And guessing from the density of the mist right now, she could only assume that it was still quite early in the morning. The sun had already risen, but it wasn’t powerful enough yet to create some real warmth and to drive away the mists.

She was very cautious on her way down. As annoying as the way up that hill had been, the way down didn’t allow for any lack of attention. She was glad that the road was in a good condition. Getting down would have been so much more terrible if the road was full of potholes, but it seemed to have been remade not too long ago, so the condition of the road was no problem at all. After a few minutes, Filas was back in Brenschede. Although her view was still very limited, she could make out the zombie she had fought against the day before. This seemed to be how the world was now. The living were eaten up by the zombies, but the dead became zombies way too soon, and as soon as they were killed for good they were just rotting on the roads and fields, since zombies didn’t eat their own kind as soon as they had turned.

She kept as much distance to the dead body as possible and focused on the road ahead of her again. Soon she was out of this village and a few minutes later she arrived at the T-junction she had taken the day before as well. She had come from the right side, but now she was taking the left way, which she had been told led to Sundern. The road here was a bit narrower than the one leading down from Brenschede. On her left side, there was the hill she had just come down from, looming over here with the dark forests. On her right side, there seemed to be a bit of a meadow, where the mist was already dissolving to some degree. There were more bends as well, but the road was more even here, so Filas would be warned soon enough from the zombies’ groaning if they were approaching her. Still, nothing happened on this part of the road, and soon, as the mist was dissolving more and more, Filas got to the next T-junction.

On her left, she could make out some houses of another village. This wasn’t her direction though. She turned right, as directed by Mrs Hanse earlier, heading towards Sundern.

The road led slightly downwards. It was still a weird feeling to Filas how empty the streets had got, with no cars passing her in any direction. She could only hear the whirring of her bicycle’s wheels, the leaves of the trees rustling in the wind, and the crickets chirping. Sounds she probably wouldn’t have been able to perceive if cars were still on the roads and if factories were still working. But there were no cars around anymore, and no one was working in factories anymore, probably. If anything, there might be people hiding in factories maybe. But Filas assumed they wouldn’t be too friendly – her brief visit to Roehrenspring had shown her that she couldn’t expect kindness and acceptance at the same time anymore. She was better off by herself anyway…

On the first few meters of the road, there were woods rising right of her, whereas on her left, a bit off the road, there were two factories. As expected, there didn’t seem to be anything going on in them. No smoke was rising from the chimneys, no noise of machines was to be heard. From Filas’s view, they both appeared abandoned to her. She was gaining speed quickly, and soon had passed the buildings.

After a few minutes of driving past lots of trees, which were still surrounded by the mist lurking around, Filas made it to another village. Mrs Hansen had told her that she’d just have to follow the road to make it through it and to get to Sundern eventually. The problem was, the road through the village, which was called Recklinghausen, according to the traffic sign welcoming Filas, was blocked. Several cars were placed across the road, forming a barrier that was impossible to just pass by. However, it was only one row of cars. Filas stopped. She could make it through the barrier by sliding over the bonnets. She’d have to get her cycle and luggage on the other side first before getting on the other side as well. That would leave her defenceless for a moment and made her feel it could be a trap.

She assumed the main function of the barrier was to keep away zombies and violent intruders. But what if it also served an offensive purpose, making people stop and be without any weapons to defend themselves, so that scavengers on the other side could attack her at her weakest? In this state of the world, she considered that a valid option. She knew that she was probably just paranoid. She had been that before the outbreak already, being a trans woman who had to spend quite a lot of time among other people, and especially foreign people. That was why she avoided masses of people, didn’t go to fairs and used the side entries at university. All of that to avoid that people might identify her as being transgender and harass her after. She hated herself for being so anxious and paranoid, but during a zombie apocalypse this actually came in quite handy in some situations at least.

Filas took off her backpack and slid it over the hoods of the cars. She took the basket with her bow and food off the bike and put it on one hood, before picking up her cycle gruntingly and pushing it over carefully too. She looked around once more, but no one was to be seen, so she decided to go for it, held her spear in front of her chest and slid over as well. Once she’d landed on the other side, she got up again immediately, her spear in a defending position, and looked around quickly, only to see that her worries apparently had been uncalled for, since no one was to be seen. Now she could also take a closer look at the houses along the road, and got alarmed yet again.

The village was abandoned. The houses’ windows were shattered, several doors were hanging loose or laying around in the gardens. No cars in the driveways, but several puddles of blood on the road. Some leftovers were lying on the road, an open bag pack, a black shoe, an old tyre… Nothing Filas could use for herself though. She knew that it would be wise to go into the houses and look for useful things there, but she didn’t want to do that. She was well-provisioned for now and was fairly certain that she wouldn’t just come by her meds in any random house. Apart from that, she felt like doing that now would make her not any better than the scavengers who had apparently been around here earlier. Therefore, she picked up her bike, put on her backpack and put the basket on the carrier and the spear on her cycle, continued her ride, and was quite relieved once she’d made it through the village. After that, the road led a bit downwards and was also without any damages, so she could gain some speed and soon after made it to the city of Sundern, as the traffic signs greeting her announced.

Filas recalled what Mrs Hansen had told her before she had left: go on straight, follow the street until a hotel appears on the right. So Filas just went straight ahead, past stores and houses, which both had shattered windows and doors and seemed to be abandoned as well. On her left, there seemed to be a hill on which many people used to live, from what she could see. A small church tower was to be seen there too. The street was not in the best condition: abandoned cars were standing around, some with their doors open, some were closed, several ones had blood splattered on the windows, both from the inside and outside. Rummage was on Some random stuff was on the street, like clothes, shoes, sheets of paper, glasses... There also were some puddles of blood, but they seemed to be dried, as Filas had a closer look at them. They seemed to be several weeks old already, so maybe no immediate threat by zombies, but she kept her eyes open.

She followed the street further, passed more houses, a bakery, a grocery store, a factory with a large chimney, and crossed a bridge. So far, the scene had not changed too much, with abandoned cars still covering the street, but she could not make out any people, living, dead or undead. She passed some kind of mall though, where she could make out the first signs of life – or un-life. A group of zombies had gathered on the parking lot, cowering over something – or someone – and chewing, apparently. Filas didn’t pay too close attention – they didn’t notice her, and whatever they were eating was already dead for some time anyway, otherwise she would hear screams. But the only things she heard, sickening as they were, were the crunching of bones and the grunting noises of the zombies. She couldn’t do anything about this situation. All she could do was to pass by as quickly as possible and not draw any attention to herself.

After passing the building, the street got worryingly overcrowded with cars standing around. There was no way for Filas to get past them while riding her cycle, so she got off of it and walked, while dragging it along. Some car doors were open and Filas had to close them carefully, without making any noises. The cars themselves seemed to be empty, but again, some had blood on the windows from both inside and outside. Filas could only imagine what had happened here: this seemed to be the main street or at least a highly frequented street in this town. When people tried to escape, the street got stuck and a massive traffic jam would come into existence. And any incident, whatever it might be, could have been too much for the people who just wanted to get safe. They’d eventually leave their cars, and then… be either attacked and turn into a zombie, or make it to some place safe. Filas was not so sure if there really were any safe places left.

A sudden thump disturbed Filas’s imagination. A hand had beat against a window. Filas noticed where it had come from and approached a silver Ford slowly, ready to defend herself. When she got a glimpse of the inside of that car, she had to swallow hard.

It was a little child inside the car, only that not much of a child was left, apparently unable to unfasten the seatbelt. The skin had turned yellow, and so were the teeth it was showing while growling at Filas. It looked so thin that Filas didn’t need to wonder how the child had died – most likely the parents had left the car, either forgetting their child, or being not able to get it out of the car. Its eyes were bloodshot and there was nothing human about them anymore. It broke Filas’s heart. She wanted to put the child to rest from this undead nightmare, but when she tried to open the door, it was locked. Shattering the window would cause too much noise, and she couldn’t risk being noticed and pursued by any other zombies. As bad as she felt about it, she continued her way, muttering “farewell”.

It didn’t make her feel a lot better that the street was cleared after passing about ten more cars.

Now came the part that Filas was most nervous about, since she was close to that pharmacy now, right in that street on her left, as she had been told. She looked around at the houses around her, but the windows were empty and there was nothing worrisome she could make out there. She investigated that street again and looked for the church Mrs Hanse had described her. Its tower was hard to miss, about 50 meters away from her. Opposite it, there was the pharmacy. It was the largest one in this town. Filas had made the experience that her meds were not on stock in the smaller pharmacies. Therefore, she had asked explicitly for the largest one here – the chances that she could find them there were much higher than in an ordinary small pharmacy.

She entered the street and regretted that once she got a better look at it. The different squares and entries and other streets leading into this one, parking lots, partially pillared pathways, and also the noise of a river crossing below the street – all of this made her way to the pharmacy a potentially high danger. She would not be able to see an ambush soon enough, leave alone hear it. That meant that she had to be extra careful on her way.

Filas took the spear off her bike and moved forward cautiously. She pushed her cycle with her left hand while holding her spear with the right. She kept looking into every direction, checking every corner for zombies or any other threats. There were no cars on this street. Apparently, it had been abandoned soon after the breakout. Many shop windows were smashed-in. Filas listened for any noises apart from the river but couldn’t make out anything. Cautiously, she set foot after foot and closed in to the pharmacy on her left and was very surprised when she stood in front of it without having made any encounter with a zombie or anything else. She put on her backpack, put her bike next to the wall and had a closer look at the door of the pharmacy.

The windows were smashed in here too, as well as the glass on the door, which was standing wide-open. Somebody had already scavenged the pharmacy, that much was clear. All Filas could do now was hope that the meds she needed had not been too interesting for the scavengers.

She entered the pharmacy. The front room wasn’t too interesting for her: some cosmetic products were left in the shelves. She took two tubs of lotion and put them into her backpack. She didn’t have much use for fancy soap and the other stuff that was left though and made it into the back room beyond the counter. There were a few chairs laying on the floor. Many drawers of the cupboards that were put around the walls were opened, and their insides didn’t look as neatly sorted as they probably were until some weeks ago. Small copper letters were coined on the front of the drawers and marked which meds were stored in them, sorted by their names. That should make it easier for Filas to find the meds she needed, if those were actually left.

Filas went strict to the cupboards and scavenged through the drawers. Soon she was lucky with regard to her blockers, of which she found four packages, which would last for half a year. Looking for estrogen pills took a bit though because the packages were scattered around in different drawers. She had to look through all drawers to make sure she really got all of them and ended up with five packages which would last her for four months. Happy with her haul, she put the packages into her backpack and headed for the front room.

Then, a bell started to toll. Loudly.

Filas froze. It had to come from the church opposite the pharmacy. She had figured that all power lines in the cities were inactive now, and without power there was no way those bells would toll. Yet here she was, and the tolling continued – and attracted the attention of the zombies in her environment as the increasing growling noise in between the tolls and the slight scent of decay announced.

She had no idea where they were coming from, maybe from some nearby parking lot, maybe from some houses or other stores in the street, or maybe some other place – most likely all of the above. Anyway, now they were shuffling toward the church and assembling in front of the pharmacy. Dozens of them, maybe even hundreds while the tolling of the bells reached its climax.

“Fuck!”, Filas muttered. Her cycle was still in front of the pharmacy, but there was no way she could get out and leave on it. She ducked and made it to the back room. At least the zombies couldn’t see her there and it would be bad luck indeed if any of them decided to get into the pharmacy without knowing she’d be there. Yet, Filas had to think quickly. How long would those zombies stay in front of the pharmacy? Most of her food was in the box she had left on her bike’s carrier, so she would not survive here too long without any provisions. Could she be sure they’d just return to where they had come from? Zombies were not rational, so chances were that at least some of them would get into her way when she escaped. It might be better to look for another escape route now which might lead her away from those zombies for now.

She looked around the room she was in for a door. And indeed, there was one in the back of the room which she hadn’t noticed when she was looking for the meds. She hurried there, opened the door and found herself in a staircase. There was another door opposite her as well though, and Filas figured it’d lead her out. This door was massively steel and Filas didn’t think twice before heading out into the courtyard. There was a narrow path being lined by small rocks which led past the pharmacy and the courtyard, apparently to a parking lot. Filas couldn’t make out much of that, but she didn’t have much of a choice and got on the path – only to be tackled by a zombie.

She fell to the ground and lost grip on her spear which rolled away some meters. She tried to quickly get to it but was stopped by the zombie grabbing her ankle. She pulled forward but the zombie’s grip on her was very firm and all she could do was to keep it from biting her leg by kicking its head with her other foot. It was not enough to kill it though. Filas looked around hastily while the zombie tried to gnaw through her boots. She got a rock into to her right hand. She grabbed it firmer, turned around and smashed it into the zombie’s skull. It fell to the ground, and before it gained its stand again, Filas was over it and smashed the rock into its head again. And again. And again. Until it was neither moving nor making any noises anymore and laid still.

Filas was shaky and was taking shallow breaths. She looked along the path into the city and swallowed when she saw some zombies headed into her direction. Of course, that fight hadn’t passed without making any noises or an occasional scream and so it had attracted their attention. Filas quickly grabbed her spear and ran into the opposite direction.

The path led past some trees and then turned into a small bridge which led about a small river. After that, it led into a quite large parking lot, and when Filas made it there, she froze again, knowing that it was over now, as she saw a group of zombies cornering her from there as well. There was no way she could make it out of this situation alive, all ways were overrun by zombies. She tightened her grip around her spear, ready to die fighting at least, while the tolling of the bells was decreasing in the background…

Suddenly, she made out movements in the back of the group that couldn’t possibly be made by zombies. On second glance she made out metal moving and maybe something wooden? Now she could also hear some dull, thumping noises, as well as splashing noises, along the unmistakably grunts of dying zombies. Realizing that she might yet have a chance, Filas committed to the fight as well and pierced a zombie’s head with her spear. Its group members, being more attracted by the noises in the back of their group, turned around and focussed on that direction and gave Filas the chance to eliminate them from behind and also to pay attention to the zombies that had followed her.

With her unexpected help, it was a rather short fight before all the zombies had gone down. Finally, Filas got a good look at her saviours. It was a group of six people. A middle-aged man who was carrying an axe as a weapon addressed her.

“Come quickly, girl, we gotta make it out of this forsaken place.”

Filas didn’t reply though. Her eyes had fixed on a girl with long, black hair, who was carrying a baseball bat. Am I dreaming? She had a lip piercing and shining eyes whose colours Filas had never been able to tell for sure.

“Kim?”