Stephanie’s Deal by Jennifer Brock On December 21, young Steven Brooks got in trouble with his parents and looked at his Christmas presents early. He made a deal with his parents to dress and act as a girl until school started in order to keep his new Nintendo Wii. Due to an accident, the school opening was delayed. It’s now Sunday, January 20, and Stephanie has been a girl for almost a month, and it really doesn’t seem like a punishment anymore. She’s got a boyfriend; she’s made some friends; she’s volunteered to be a junior bridesmaid in her cousin’s wedding; she’s interested in becoming a babysitter. And for the past two weeks she’s been trying to grow breasts. The school is supposed to be opening on Tuesday — will Steven be back? But first, Stephanie gets to celebrate her recent twelfth birthday with a party at her grandmother’s, on top of the other three parties she’s already had.

Episode 15

She was a Princess. A pile of blonde curls spilled out from under a sparkly little crown-thing. Her beautiful white gown was as wide as a church bell at the bottom, but at the top it held her tight with a nicely scooped out neckline showing off her impressive cleavage. She danced with her Prince at the ball for hours, until he finally got up the nerve to lean in for a kiss. She pursed her delicate lips and closed her eyes…

“Up and at them, Sleepyhead!” Mom was shaking Stephanie awake. “Your father wants to try out a new church this morning, and we don’t want to be late. Make sure you dress up nice.”

Stephanie rubbed her eyes and tried to wake up faster. A little too slowly for her mother, she scooted over and sat on the edge of her bed to put on her slippers. Mom grabbed her robe for her and helped her put it on, and then she shuffled off to the bathroom. Halfway through her bath, her mother knocked on the door and told her to hurry up. She made sure everything was clean, rinsed off, rushed through her ritual anointing with lavender oil, and did the best she could to make the hair dryer go faster.

Back in her room, her mother had laid out what she was supposed to wear. Stephanie figured that the new church must be kind of stuffy, because Mom had picked a really boring outfit: her white blouse, black skirt, white tights, black Mary Janes, and her light blue button-up sweater as the only bit of color. He mother had at least let her choose her own underwear. She knew the white blouse would need a camisole underneath, so she stuck to all-white with one of her padded bras, white panties, and a white half-slip as well.

She chose her jewelry set with the silver stars, and kept her make-up to just a little bit of pink lip gloss, and put the tube in her black patent leather handbag along with her phone, which she made sure to turn off first. She slid a white plastic headband over her hair and she was ready to go.

There was no time for a full breakfast so Stephanie had to eat a piece of peanut butter toast in the car. They got on the highway and drove three towns away, which seemed kind of far to go to a church; there were churches everywhere. She figured that there must be something very special about the one Dad wanted to go to. After her mother told her that there wouldn’t be much of a chance of running into anyone they knew, Stephanie realized that they were doing this for her sake. They were going far away so the people there wouldn’t know that she wasn’t really a girl. She felt guilty for causing so much trouble.

After a drive with more traffic than ought to be out on a Sunday morning, they pulled into the parking lot of The First Baptist Church of Morton. Mom picked out a pew near the back, and they kept to themselves mostly. Stephanie had to sit with her parents all through the service; they didn’t want to drop her into a Sunday School class for just one session without being sure if they’d be coming back. Grownup church was kind of boring, but it wasn’t that bad. They had a big fancy pipe organ and the music was nice.

The sermon was actually pretty decent. In honor of Monday being Martin Luther King Day, it was all about brotherhood and acceptance of people’s differences. The minister even mentioned extending Christian compassion to homosexuals, so she knew he’d be less likely to get as uptight as Pastor Moore, even if he didn’t say anything specifically about girls who are really boys.

On their way out, the minister shook their hands and said it was always nice to see new faces in the congregation, especially pretty ones. He had a big smile and winked at Stephanie. It was really embarrassing. He invited them to share in their refreshments, but Dad declined the offer. They got back in the car for the long drive home. Stephanie tried asking her folks what they thought about the service, but there seemed to be some unspoken tension between the two of them. When they got home they went into their room and talked loudly at each other for a while behind a closed door.

Stephanie remembered to turn her phone back on and saw that she had a text message from Debbie: “Nu ss tchr sux. Hvn fun adgo?” She didn’t know what that meant. She called her up (on the land line) and asked.

Debbie laughed when heard the question. “I said the new Sunday School teacher sucks, and wondered if it was more fun for you ‘actively defying God’s order.’ They’ve got Mrs. Cooper teaching our class now, and she isn’t very good at it. She’s trying way too hard to be cool and hip and failing miserably.”

“Oh. We tried going to another church today over in Morton.”

“How was it?”

“They seemed cool. The guy did a sermon about tolerance because of the holiday, and included gays in the mix. Way cooler than ‘defying God’s order.’ So, is your family planning anything special for tomorrow?”

“Huh?”

“You know, in honor of Martin Luther King?”

“Oh, yeah. Right, it is the great day when all my people gather to remember Dr. King. We’re probably going down to the ghetto to visit my Grizzamma and she’ll have cooked up a big batch of chitlins and greens, and hopefully my fourteen-year-old cousin Laquinta will be there and we can see her new baby. Maybe this one will be better looking than the other two; his Daddy was certainly finer than either of theirs. I’m not sure whether her brother Tyrone is supposed to get out of jail or not, but if he is I’m sure he’ll bring his crew round. At sundown we’ll gather on the stoop and spill a forty for Martin and Malcolm and all the other homies who came before us, know what I’m sayin’?” She waited a bit for Stephanie to reply, but when she didn’t Debbie just laughed uncontrollably. “Damn, Girl! You really are white, aren’t you? This holiday’s just another day off, really. Me and my Mom are probably just going to the mall to catch the sales. My Dad’s not going to spill a forty, but he probably will say something nice about Dr. King during grace before dinner tomorrow.”

“Your family says grace?”

“Sure, every meal. Doesn’t yours? Oh, right, you’re godless heathens now! I forgot.” She was cracking up again.

Debbie eventually calmed down enough to give Stephanie a thorough cross-examination about how far she’d gotten in her relationship with Brian. She tried to answer honestly without revealing too much. She wasn’t sure how many details a real girl would share with her friend. Stephanie wasn’t sure how long she’d been on the phone when Mom called her that it was time for lunch, and she realized how hungry she was. She said goodbye and promised to message Debbie later.

Lunch was a simple meal of tuna sandwiches and tossed salad, but it was like a feast to her poor empty tummy! She earned a look from her mother for eating too fast like a hungry boy, and had to slow down and eat delicately like a well-mannered young lady. She tried to make up for it by helping to clear the table when they were finished.

After lunch she went up to room and listened to one of her new CD’s. She’d found her sister’s old portable stereo in her closet attic space and had borrowed it. Her “Miley and Hannah” disk had some fun songs that really made her want to get up and dance. The stuffy church outfit she was in wasn’t made for moving around, so she took off her skirt and blouse and had fun wiggling and shaking to the beat in just her cami and half-slip.

She was surprised when her door opened and her Dad came in. He saw what she was wearing and turned his eyes away and got all flustered. He said that he’d come up to see if Stephanie wanted to play a game on the Wii, but she was busy so he started backing out. She told him that sounded fun, and said she’d be right down as soon as she changed.

She took off her slip and pulled on her good jeans, but then realized that the waistband of her tights was sticking out at the top, and she probably needed to switch to hipster panties. So she had to get even more naked in order to get dressed. Once she got her pants on, she swapped her camisole for a pink t-shirt with lace trim, and slid her feet into a pair of ankle socks and then her pink sneakers.

While touching up her lip gloss, she saw that the white headband really didn’t really go with the rest of her outfit, so she swapped it for her pink one. She wasn’t completely satisfied with how the silver star jewelry worked with everything, so she changed them all for the pink beaded set her Aunt Jeannie had made.

She trotted down to the family room and Dad looked at his watch and rolled his eyes, muttering something about women just above his breath. She gave him a little kiss on the cheek anyway, and then grabbed the other wiimote. She struck a pose and issued a challenge to take him on in Wii tennis. He laughed and accepted.

After she totally kicked his butt at tennis, they played this silly game about riding cows around a racetrack and crashing into scarecrows. Stephanie was having too much fun steering her cow off the road to catch up with her father, and he won the race easily. It was a stupid little game that didn’t make any sense, but it was a lot of fun. They were both laughing so loudly that Mom came to see what was so funny, but she didn’t really get it when they tried to show her.

At any rate, Mom said that Stephanie needed to think about starting to get ready for her birthday dinner at her grandmother’s. She’d need to change into something nice again, but it didn’t have to be the boring outfit she wore to church. She asked her mother whether she needed to dress up really fancy, and Mom decided she’d help her pick out what to wear.

They both went up to look in her closet. Stephanie’s first choice was the fancy pink dress she’d gotten for Robin’s tea party, but Mom said it wasn’t that formal a party. So then she tried the sophisticated navy blue dress she’d worn to Brian’s for New Year’s. Mom rated that one a “maybe,” but thought it might not be relaxed enough for family. Stephanie then tried her purple striped dress, and her mother finally approved it.

Mom wanted her to go back to the tights and Mary Janes she’d worn that morning, but Stephanie thought that would make her look more like a little kid and since it was her birthday she ought to try for something a little more grown up. She preferred going with pantyhose and her black pumps. Her mother thought about it for a couple minutes and decided she was right; twelve was old enough for heels and hose.

Stephanie really wanted to show off her new jewelry with the garnets, but they both agreed that they were a little too much for the occasion, and they didn’t go perfectly with her dress. Mom said she could compromise bye just wearing the earrings, and go with a plain gold necklace and bracelet. But a rummage through Stephanie’s jewelry box showed that all her other stuff was silver.

Stephanie was disappointed that she couldn’t wear any of her pretty new things, so her mother saved the day by lending her a gold chain necklace and bracelet of her own. They did work well with everything, and she thanked her with a big hug. All dressed up and put together, they tried a few different options for her hair, but ultimately decided to just let it loose.

The only real clash they had was when Stephanie started to put on her makeup. She wanted to go mature and sophisticated, but Mom said that would be way too much for dinner at her grandmother’s. They compromised, and Stephanie got to wear her brown mascara and eyeliner, but her mother put it on her so it wouldn’t be too heavy, and she gave her a light dusting of blush on her cheeks. Stephanie did get to pick out her own lip gloss, and she chose a glittery one.

She asked her Mom if she had enough time to change her nail polish, and they did but she’d have to help her so it would go faster. They went with a burgundy that matched the garnet earrings. Stephanie thought it looked more grown up than the baby pink she’d had on her fingers before. Mom even did it like a pro, with two layers of color and then a topcoat.

Mom thought Stephanie looked so nice that she needed to change too. Stephanie offered return the gesture and help her pick out something to wear. She couldn’t do anything with her hands while her nails were drying, so she sat on Mom’s bed and gave opinions when she held up dresses from her closet.

She decided to take Stephanie’s advice, and chose a nicely flowing soft dress with a loosely draped neckline. It was a sharp blue that brought out the color in her eyes. She surprised Stephanie by taking off her church dress and changing into the new one in front of her, and she didn’t even make her leave when she noticed that her bra was showing and had to switch to one that showed more cleavage.

It was weird that it didn’t feel creepy or anything seeing her mother’s breasts; she mostly felt envious that hers still weren’t growing. Maybe the herbal oils didn’t work, or maybe it just took a long time for boobs to grow. In the meantime, it was fascinating seeing how much a different bra could change the shape of Mom’s chest. The new one kind of squooshed her breasts together, but at the same time made them look bigger and rounder. She was sure that Dad would think Mom looked sexy in the blue dress with those showing.

She also put on higher heels than she’d worn to church, explaining that the more you needed to arch your foot, the better it made your legs look. Suffering for beauty was all part of being a woman. Mom changed her jewelry to some really cool pieces that featured gold filigree dangly things in a paisley shape. She freshened up her makeup, and Stephanie thought she did her own a little fancier than she’d done hers.

Then they went to tell Dad to put his jacket and tie back on. It was easy for guys to get dressed up; there weren’t so many levels of formal vs. casual. But it’s also kind of boring and less fun, and also they don’t have as much control over stuff. Like when Mom could pick a dress that showed off her boobs or revealed more or less leg, or how women get so many different options for how much arm to show; they could go sleeveless or cap sleeves or short sleeves or three-quarter sleeves, or long sleeves, or even sleeves that flare out past the wrist. But when they get dressed up men always have to wear sleeves to their wrists and pants to their ankles and tight collars around their necks. Dressing would be easier when she went back to being Steven, but she would probably miss all the options.

Dad said that Stephanie looked nice, but then he noticed Mom’s dress and kind of forgot that she was there. He tried to give his wife a big smooch but she turned away from him so he wouldn’t mess her makeup. It was cool that her parents were still into each other unlike so many broken homes out there, but it was embarrassing to watch. Stephanie thought about Robin’s messed up relationship with her father, and wondered if there was hope for saving their family. She made a mental note to give her a call after the weekend.

Dad went to warm up the car so his “lovely ladies” wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Sometimes girls really got a nice deal. They got to take their time getting their coats on and gave themselves one last check in the hall mirror before strolling out to the car. Stephanie wondered if she could be as pretty as her mother when she grew up. Wait, Steven wasn’t supposed to grow up to be a lady, but a man. This whole girl thing was really messing with Stephanie’s brain.

When they got to Grandma’s, Dad continued his chivalry by opening the doors for each of his ladies and helping them out of the car. He offered his arm to Stephanie to walk her to the door, but that just seemed too weird. Mom got to cling to him instead. Her grandmother met her at the door and told her she was getting prettier every time she saw her. Stephanie blushed and thanked her.

They hung up their coats and went into the living room. Mom’s dress earned a low wolf whistle from her cousin Dan, which earned him a poke in the arm from his future sister-in-law. Grace was looking as beautiful as ever, a blonde angel that seemed to glow from within. She smiled at Stephanie and told her she looked nice, and a warm feeling spread through her.

They had some light chitchat, and it was going great until Aunt Jeannie asked Mom about Stephanie’s party the day before, and she told her that trying to keep six girls and a boy together was quite a chore. Aunt Jeannie thought the boy she’d mentioned was Steven, but Mom had to go out of her way to explain that Stephanie had a boyfriend, and it was really embarrassing.

The only cool part was when Grace asked her to thank Brian (whose name had already come up) for letting his girl go dancing with her little brother every other Wednesday, and said that Christopher had been saying nice things about her at home; he’d be so disappointed to know she was taken.

Grandma had made a nice roast for dinner that was really good but almost too filling. There was a cake, but nobody wanted any right away, except for Dan. They decided to go do presents in the living room and then come back for cake afterward. Stephanie hadn’t even thought about getting more presents.

The gifts were interesting. Aunt Jeannie had made this cool scrapbook of fake memories. She’d taken some old pictures of Steven from throughout his life and PhotoShopped them into pictures from Stephanie’s imaginary childhood. It started with her in the hospital wrapped in a pink blanket, and then there was one from her first birthday with ice cream smeared all over her party dress and even into her curly hair. It was kind of freaky seeing the little-five-year old girl she never was all dressed up for her first day of kindergarten with pretty ribbons in her pigtails.

It got even weirder on the last page when there was a picture of a seventeen-year-old Stephanie all dressed up to go to the prom. Aunt Jeannie was trying to talk about how she’d used special software to age her, like they do with missing kids, but Stephanie was just too captivated by the image of what her future could have been if only she’d been a real girl. Her prom dress even showed a little cleavage, which made her more envious of the girl in the picture.

Aunt Jeannie said that she’d been considering going even further, showing her graduating from college and getting married and having a baby, but she ran out of time. Stephanie was glad she hadn’t taken it that far, as it would just have been more reminders of the impossible. She thanked her aunt for the peek into an alternate reality, and gave her a big hug.

Dan apologized after he handed Stephanie her present, a tube which turned out to be two rolled up magazines. He’d explained that he’d gone to a bookstore to find a present, and there was this cute girl working there so he flirted by asking for her advice on what to get his twelve-year-old cousin for her birthday. He wasn’t really thinking about Stephanie’s situation, so he ended up taking the cute salesgirl’s advice and bought her subscriptions to both Teen Vogue and Cosmo Girl for the next year. Stephanie said it was okay; maybe her sister would want to read them when she came home from college, but she hoped he at least got the cute girl’s phone number. He said he hadn’t, but maybe some Wednesday night they could stop by the bookstore after dance class and she could thank the nice girl for giving her awesome and dateable cousin such great gift advice?

Grace and Matt’s gift was in a big, low rectangular box. Their card said “Happy birthday to the Princessa of the dance floor,” referring to their Maestro’s nickname for her. Inside the box were three pretty dresses that Grace said should fit the rules for dance class. First, there was this pale blue dress with a really full skirt and a sash that tied in the back. The second one was kind of funky. It was a sleeveless dress in a really bold red and white floral print. And lastly, Grace said every girl needed an LBD, so she got her a simple black sheath dress. Stephanie thanked her, and Mom said it was too much, but Grace said Stephanie wouldn’t need dresses for dance class if she wasn’t already doing Grace a huge favor that could never be repaid.
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Grandma’s gift was very precious. It was an antique porcelain doll that had been hers when she was Stephanie’s age, and she’d gotten it refurbished and dressed in pretty new clothes but in the same style from way back when. Grandma told Stephanie her name was Aimee, and both her girls had fought about who would get the doll for years, so she vowed to give her to neither of them, but her newest granddaughter deserved her. Stephanie realized what an honor it was, and wasn’t sure what she’d do with Aimee when she turned back into a boy, but it was too important to turn down. She fit right in with Angel Barbie and Hannah on Stephanie’s dresser when they got home.

All in all, it was a very big birthday for Stephanie. She’d gotten a lot of cool stuff, and had had parties will all her friends and her family and her boyfriend. When she took off the jewelry she’d borrowed from her mother, she put on her charm bracelet and thought about the wild trip being Stephanie had been. It was hard to believe she was supposed to go back to being Steven on Tuesday. She tried writing about it in her journal but she wasn’t sure what to say.

She undressed and rubbed smelly tea tree oil into her chest, then put on her nightgown. For the first time in a while she said her prayers before going to bed. Even though they’d kicked her out of church, she hoped Someone Upstairs was still listening.