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Synopsis:  Ashley Roberts was terribly abused by his father. Until one-day things got out of hand and the police were called. Ashley's father was sentenced to a year in Jail. six months later his father was released and came looking for his family.  Ashley's mother Janet decided the safest course of action for her family was to move to Littleton, Colorado.  She had a sister there and thought a new start would be best for her children, far away from her abusive husband.  Since moving to Littleton a lot has changed in my life and also a lot of confusion and uncertainty about what laid ahead.

 

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Chapter 6

 

            I had a good time with Adam, and I had to admit I felt better after the two of us talked. When Megan and Amy arrive Adam and I said our goodbyes, I wasn't expecting the hug that he gave me.

There was a part of me that felt that I should be ashamed but then there was another part that felt safe and secure in his arms.   I had never really felt like this before and found myself enjoying how it felt as he held me.

After Adam left Megan and Amy came over, I could tell by the look on their faces they had seen the exchange that took place between Adam and me.  Megan looked like she was trying to figure out what to say, and I said the only thing I could think of.

"Haven't you ever seen two people hug.", It was blunt but straight to the point and I continued walking straight past them.

"Do you mind telling me why you haven't answered my texts until now Ashley, I have been worried sick, Amy and I have been looking for you for the last couple of hours," Megan asked.

"I was pissed off, and thought you would take mom's side like always," I said calmly.

"Well your wrong Ashley, I was pissed off at mom when I found out what she did. It wasn't her place to tell anyone?" Megan said in frustration.

"Amy, did my mom blab it to you too?" I said looking over at her.

"I honestly have no idea what is going on here, I just came because Megan needed someone to help find you," Amy said calmly.

"Maybe you should tell her Ashley, your secret is already out thanks to mom, and Amy is going to find out eventually, at least this way you have control of how it comes out," Megan explained.

I looked at Megan, "You might be right" I said in a calm voice and then looked over at Amy.

"I wanted to wait and get to know you better before telling you this but since your mother already knows, as well as your father you might as well know also," I said with a nervous tone.

"You can tell me, Ashley I am not going to judge you or anything," Amy replied.

    The three of us took a seat on one of the empty benches, and I was quiet for a bit as I tried to figure out how best to explain everything,

"You would have found out sooner or later, I am going to be seeing your Aunt Barbara. I needed a therapist, and your father recommended her. You may think seeing your Aunt makes sense considering my background and it does." I paused then continued

"The reason I want to see her is that I have been thinking about transitioning from male too female," I said in a low voice as I looked Amy straight in the eyes.

"This is a very sensitive subject for me and that was why I wanted to be the one to bring the subject up," I explained to Amy.

"Wow, so this is more than just needing a haircut to fix the problem," Amy said taking in everything I had just said.

"Even with short hair, I was still always being mistaken for a girl Amy and if I am to be completely honest, I have never really been much of a guy." I paused and then continued.

"Most of the time I don't even bother correcting people anymore because there's a part of me that likes being thought of as a girl, especially when a guy is interested in me," I said in a low voice to Amy.

"Shit Ashley, I had no idea," Amy explained.

"Why would you, we barely know one another, but I think eventually given enough time you would have noticed something about me was off," I exclaimed.

"Well, I already thought you might be gay, but I realize now there's a lot more to it. So are you going to have the operation?" Amy asked me.

"I don't know yet Amy, this is something that doesn't happen overnight, and I will likely have to see a therapist for a while before she signs off on it and I can start treatment. Mom says she will approve treatment depending on what the doctor has to say, so at least I have that going for me." I explained.

"So, Ashley how do you see yourself right now, as a man or woman?" Amy asked.

"I guess that I see myself as a woman, for the most part, being a guy has always been a struggle for me. It was hard trying to fit in with other guys because I have always been different. I have never been considered the biggest or strongest amongst my peers." I said sadly and then continued.

"I have never really been interested in girls at least sexually and lastly I have never had any shared interests with guys, girls, on the other hand, I have always felt a connection too. I was into most of the same things as them and it was never a struggle. I could just be myself and not have to put on an act." I said in a low voice that only the three of us could hear.

"A lot of this had to do with our father Amy, he pushed Ashley really hard and tried to force him to become someone he wasn't and when Ashley didn't measure up dad beat him. Dad wanted the perfect son, someone he could bring up to be just like him." Megan explained.

"That really sucks, but I am fine with you becoming a girl Ashley if that is what you really want and unlike your mother, I will keep your secret and help you any way I can," Amy said reaching over and giving me a hug.

"Thanks, Amy I will need all the help I can get," I said as the two of us hugged one another.

"No, that is settled, we need to discuss the girl code Ashley," Megan exclaimed.

"The first rule, you never run off without letting someone know where you're going, or who you're with. That way we don't have to put together a search party." Megan said with a smile.

"The second rule if you're upset then find someone you trust and talk it out. like Megan and I, " Amy exclaimed

“and lastly rule three, never steal another girls man,", Megan said with a big smile.

"Alright, I think that I got it," I said shaking my head.

"Good just remember it, how about a coffee it's my treat, Ashley," Amy said with a smile.

"Sounds good, I would love a caramel mocha Frappuccino," I said with a smile.

"That sounds good, I think that I will have the same," Megan said looking over at Amy.

    The three of us made our way back over to the mall, and like before I found us a table outside on the deck, and waited for Amy and Megan to join me.

I felt better after talking with Adam and explaining everything to Amy also seemed to help and in the end.  I knew that I had her support which I knew was something that I was going to need in the days ahead. There was no doubt that there were going to be hard times ahead but I also knew that I would have to deal with them.

 

Chapter 7

 

            Megan and Amy joined me about 10 minutes later, there had been quite a lineup at Starbucks. So I wasn't surprised how long it took for them to join me at our table. Like always my caramel mocha Frappuccino was awesome.

"So tell me, Ashley, this whole situation must have been going on for a while, have you ever dressed or been out dressed as a girl?" Amy asked looking really interested in my answer.

"Yes and no, I have borrowed some of Megan's clothes and wore them at home, but never outside well until recently. The jeans I am wearing came from the women's department at Walmart, and Megan left me a gift, it was a bra and panty set, I am wearing the panties now." I explained to her.

"Really, your mother actually lets you buy jeans from the women's section," Amy said giggling.

"She doesn't know, Ashley slipped them in at the last minute.", Megan said with a grin.

"They look good on you Ashley, but couldn't you have just bought some in the men's department. They make similar jeans for guys." Amy exclaimed.

"Have you really looked at me Amy, most of the jeans in the men's department, wouldn't fit me even with a belt. Usually to find something that fits I have to go to the boy's department, and I was tired of dressing like a little kid, the jeans fit me perfectly and their really comfortable." I explained.

"Yeah, I guess that I can see your point, so what about makeup have you ever tried playing around with it," Amy exclaimed.

"Not really, I was always scared of getting caught, wearing Megan's clothes was dangerous enough especially if dad came home, at least I had a chance of changing clothes fast but with makeup, it would have taken too long to remove it," I explained to Amy.

"I take it your father wouldn't have approved", Amy said in a low voice.

"Our father would beat the crap out of Ashley if he found out that he was dressing as a girl. You're lucky you have a father that is understanding ours was really abusive and not very open to anything but his own views." Megan said in a low voice.

"I am glad that I never met him, he doesn't seem like a very nice person.". Amy replied.

Meanwhile back home

             Janet was sitting talking with her sister Helen, she had just finished explaining to Brian what had happened and he was not very happy Janet had not kept her promise to Ashley.

"Janet do you have any idea what you just did, Ashley finely opened up to you with the biggest secret of his life and asked you to keep it and as soon as you had a chance you told Helen." Brian paused and then continued.

"I know this doesn't seem like a big deal to you but it means a hell of a lot to Ashley. If anything you managed to build a barrier between the two of you and I doubt he will come to you again, if something is wrong, god what were you thinking."  Brian said in frustration.

"God, I know that I screwed up but what can I do to fix this," Janet said in tears.

"I am afraid there is nothing you can do now Janet. The damage is done, you're just going to have to rebuild his trust and that is not going to happen overnight. Well, at least Barb is going to take him as a patient hopefully she will have some ideas." Brian said softly.

"God I sure hope so, I really screwed up here, I was really surprised though, with Megan's reaction, I didn't expect her to get so mad, she has never talked to me like that before. I think she already knew about Ashley. She went full out into protective mode, that has never happened with her and Ashley before." Janet said wiping the tears from her eyes.

"He must have already told Megan, that is the only thing that makes sense," Helen said joining in the conversation.

"You may be right, but he told me that he wasn't ready to tell her," Janet exclaimed.

"He could have changed his mind, either way, I would give Ashley some space, when he's ready to talk to you he will come to you," Brian exclaimed.

"I am going to take him to see Barbara tonight, I think he needs someone outside the family to talk to right now," Brian said looking across the table at Janet.

"You don't have to Brian, he’s my son, I should take him," Janet replied.

"Janet, I think you should let Brian handle this, Ashley isn't going to be as receptive if the offer comes from you," Helen said looking across the table at her sister.

"Maybe you're right? I am sorry for dropping all this on you guys." Janet said still fighting the tears.

"Ashley is family and part of being a family is being there for one another.", Brian said with a grin.

 

We now return to Ashley

             Megan, Amy and I had a good talk over coffee at Starbucks, Amy seemed to be quite accepting of me. I could see now that I had really nothing to worry about with her knowing my secret she generally seemed to want to help me any way she could. Although I still believe that I had a right to be scared because not everyone would be as accepting.

The walk home didn't take us very long, and we arrived home close to supper time. There was the smell of fried chicken coming from the kitchen. I wasn't feeling very social but I joined everyone in the kitchen, mom tried to talk to me but I wasn't ready to talk to her, and politely ignored her.

After supper, I returned to my bedroom I was sitting on my bed playing my guitar for about an hour when I heard a knocking coming from downstairs and yelled who is it.

"It's me, I heard the answer and I knew from the sound that it was Uncle Brian.

"come on up", I said putting down the guitar.

"How are you doing son?" he said calmly.

"I am a little better now," I said frowning.

"Ashley, just so you know I don't agree with what your mother did and I had a long talk with her about keeping promises. I talked to my sister Barbara, she's a psychiatrist and she’s willing to take you on as a patient." Brian explained.

"So she already knows about me?" I asked him.

"Yes, I called her earlier today after everything went down with your mother and she is willing to see you tonight Ashley if you are willing to go that is?" Brian said with a smile.

"Can you take me, I am not ready to deal with my mother," I said frowning.

"I was already planning on taking you myself." He said with a grin.

"If that is the case I will go," I said with a smile.

"Good, we leave in about an hour, Ashley." He said then started walking towards the door.

"Uncle Brian, do you think I am crazy for wanting to do this?" I said sadly.

"Not at all Ashley, I think you're really brave actually, and to be honest I have a hard time really seeing you as a boy, maybe a haircut would help but that's really doubtful.  You just don't really seem like any boy I have ever known," Brian said in a low voice.

"So, if I were to become a girl you wouldn't have a problem with it?" I asked nervously.

"No, Ashley, you are still family it doesn't matter to me if I have a nephew or a niece, I just want you to do whatever makes you happy." Uncle Brian said just before he left my room.

            After my uncle left I thought to myself maybe I can do this, everyone seems pretty cool about it and I honestly felt deep down I was already as much a girl as Megan and Amy. I just needed a little bit of work.

Well maybe not a little bit more like a whole lot but I honestly felt becoming a girl was something I really needed to do if I was ever going to find any kind of happiness. I thought to myself as I picked up my guitar and started playing and singing, "Skyscraper", By. Demi Lovato.

After finishing the song, I put my guitar away and went over and booted up my laptop. I took a look at my email and for the most part, all I found was a bunch of junk mail which I promptly deleted. Unlike my sister Megan, I wasn't very popular and only had a few contacts.

I played around online for a bit, and then noticed the time and shut down the computer and started getting ready for my appointment with Barbara.

After taking a few minutes to get ready I made my way downstairs and into the living room Uncle Brian was already waiting for me as I entered the room.

"Ready Ashley," he said with a smile.

"I guess, I am as ready as I will ever be," I said with a slight frown.

"A little nervous are we Ashley?" he asked me.

"Just a bit, I have never had to talk about this with anyone until now.", I said as the two of us made our way outside and over to Uncle Brian's truck.

"You will be alright Ashley, Barb is really good at her job, believe me, the two of you will get along great and before long you will be telling her everything," Brian said with a grin as he unlocked his truck and the two of us climbed inside.

        The drive to Barbara's house took us almost an hour but eventually Uncle Brian and I arrived and pulled into her driveway. She had a really nice house but considering her profession there was really no reason why she couldn't afford it.  

Once Uncle Brian parked the car the two of us made our way over to the front door and rang the buzzer and waited for a few minutes and were met by a young woman who looked to be in her early 40's who I assumed was Brian's sister Barbara.

"Hey Brian It's good to see you", the woman said with a big smile and gave him a hug.

"You must be Ashley It's nice to meet you, Brian has told me all about you, why don't we go inside Ashley and the two of us can have a little talk."

"I am sure Brian can find something to do to keep busy", Barb said with a grin

Once inside Barb turned to me, "is there anything that I can get you, there some diet coke in the fridge, and there is coffee on in the kitchen." Barb said with a smile.

"Coke sounds good thanks," I said with a smile.

"I will show you where my office is and you can make yourself comfortable, and then I will get you something to drink," Barb said and then led me to a large den that had been converted into an office she then left to get me a coke.

Her office was very nicely decorated, and also very comfortable. I wondered if she saw other patients here besides me.

    Barb returned a few minutes later with a couple glasses of coke and a plate full of chocolate chip cookies that looked like they were homemade and not store bought.

After taking a sip of my pop I turned to her, "So how do we do this?"

"My job is to help you sort out your feelings Ashley. You can tell me anything you want and it will stay between the two of us." Barb explained.

"Alright that's fair, so what has my Uncle told you about me so far?"

"He had told me that you have been having issues pertaining to your gender, that is really all

"I know about you at the moment Ashley. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't look at it as issues, I have always been different than other guys. I have never really fit in with them, I used to try to be like the boys I knew from school but it was honestly a waste of time."

"Why would you say it was a waste of time?" Barb asked.

"Tell me something, if you saw me at the mall and you didn't know who I was would you think I was a boy or girl," I said looking across at her.

"Well honestly, if I didn't know I would have thought you were a girl, mostly because of your long blonde hair and your build," Barb exclaimed.

"That's an honest answer, and that is what most people see. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. I gave up on correcting people it was more hassle then it was worth and as time went on though things started getting worse, when puberty hit I was around eleven, instead of liking girls like most guys do I found myself attracted to guys." I explained.

"You say you were around 11 years old?" Barb said looking me in the eyes.

"Yes, I had just turned eleven because things for me started to change for me after that. My father didn't like how I was developing and put me on an exercise program."

"He forced me to do all kinds of exercises, he thought if I worked out a lot eventually I would build enough muscle mass that I could join the football team. He wanted me to be just like him the only problem was nothing worked. The only thing the exercises did was get me in shape and helped me tone up." I said calmly.

"There were no other changes Ashley?"

"Not that I could see anyway, why?" I said looking over at her.

"It's just that something you are telling me doesn't make sense," Barb said thinking aloud.

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"Well, to start most guys don't start puberty till around 14 years old whereas girls start between 8 years old till 13 and your 16 now, you should be well into male puberty by now, tell me something Ashley do you shave?"

"No, I have never really needed to shave, like I said I have never been like a normal guy," I replied.

"I normally don't ask a patient to undress, in this case, I think that I really should, do mind if I do a little examination on you Ashley," Barb said looking me in the eyes.

"I guess, it would be alright", I said and stood up then started undressing.

    After about 10 minutes of poking and prodding, Barb said I could get dressed, she then left me and went and got my Uncle and he returned to her office with her.

"Can you tell me what is going on?" I asked her

"Your body isn't completely male Ashley, you have elements of both male and female at least that is what it looks like from an outside exam. You have signs of breast development, and you have a partially developed woman's pelvis. " Barb paused and then continued.

"The Female pelvis is larger and wider than males. Whereas a male pelvis is taller and narrow. This is why your hips are large compared to other guys." Barb explained.

"Does this mean that I am really a girl and something inside me is messed up?" I said still in shock.

"Maybe, If I was to make a guess I would say yes, but I think the first thing that we need to have done is get you into a specialist that can give you a full examination, inside and out. It's the only way we're going to know what is actually going on inside you Ashley. "

"I will make a couple of calls and arrange for you to see someone that can help straighten out this mess," Barb said in a calm voice.

"Ashley, I still think that you and I should continue our appointments, no matter what happens you are going to have issues that will need to be addressed. The first issue, we need to address though is what are your plans, giving your condition it's pretty much going to be your choice if you want to remain a boy or complete the transition and become a girl?" Barb explained.

"Really, I thought he needed to go through some kind of process?" Uncle Brian said joining in the conversation.

"There is still a process, Brian but where that he has elements of both sexes, he has more options available to him," Barb explained.

"Well. Giving a choice I would rather complete the process and become a girl." I exclaimed.

"I think that is the best option also considering the amount of feminization that has already taken place," Barb exclaimed.

"So how does this work?" I asked.

"Well first, you will be starting school soon, and I think it would be easier for you to attend as a girl, if you start as a boy it will likely be hard for you to transition later," Barb explained.

"Yeah that makes sense the last thing I want is the other students knowing what I am doing, it would make me a target for every bully at school," I said in a low voice.

"I can write you up a letter to bring to school that will explain what is going on with you medically. That shouldn't be a problem and it will exempt you from attending physical education." Barb explained.

"That sounds good, but I think someone will need to explain this to my mother unless she hears it from you she isn't going to sign off on any of this."

"I will call her tonight and explain everything to her Ashley and I will call when I have everything arranged for you to see a specialist."

 

Chapter 8

 

 

Uncle Brian and Barb talked for another hour, about me, as for myself I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I sat back and ate some cookies and drank another can of Diet Coke.

I didn't really care about their conversation as far as I was concerned I had already made my choice and it would only be a matter of time before I was truly complete.

I would no longer have to feel guilty for wanting to be a girl because I was already partially female, and once I had the surgery my body would finally match my mind

The drive home I was pretty much overjoyed, and turned to Uncle Brian, "Thank you for helping me Uncle Brian I have never really liked men, especially father figures, my dad ruined that for me but you stood up for me and even tried to help." I said sadly

"I guess what I am saying is you showed me that there are some men out there that I can trust."

"You're welcome Ashley, I am glad I could help but it's not over yet you still have a long road ahead of you." He said with a smile.

"I know Uncle Brian, but that's fine at least I no eventually it will happen."

"So do you think when they change my birth certificate they will give me a discount because all they have to do is change the "M" to an "F", "I said laughing.

"I seriously doubt it; it's the government were dealing with," Brian said laughing himself.

"Well, it's worth a try," I said grinning.

"So how are you going to do this, slowly go into girl mode or go full on?" Brian asked me.

"Honestly I have no idea, there is a part of me that wants to go full out, but I am not really sure how mom is going to deal with it," I said calmly.

"I think you need to follow your heart Ashley, you have lived all your life as a boy and it didn't feel right did it?" Uncle Brian asked.

"Not really, but I thought I was just messed up inside mentally, but it turns out I was actually right, in a roundabout way," I said frowning.

"I just can't believe nobody has caught this until now. You must have seen doctors growing up." Uncle Brian exclaimed.

"If it wasn't an emergency, mom took care of it and the few times I had to see a doctor there was never really an examination, it was mostly for cuts and sprains. Dad wasn't one for spending money needlessly." I explained.

"The more I hear about that man, the less I like him," Brian said looking across at me.

"You might not like him, me I wish he was dead," I said completely serious,

"That's a little harsh", Uncle Brian said.

"Years of abuse does that to you," I said firmly.

"I am not going to downplay what happened to you Ashley, but if you ever want to talk about it I am willing to listen." Uncle Brian said looking over at me.

"Thanks, Uncle Brian", I said grinning.

"Your, welcome Ashley," he said with a smile.

        We drove in silence for a while, I think both of us had a lot on our minds. I know that I sure did my whole life had been turned upside down in a matter of an hour.

"Uncle Brian, what has my mother told you about why we moved to Littleton?"

"She said, she was leaving an abusive relationship and needing a new start, why Ashley?"

"Well that is partially true, she was leaving an abusive relationship, but that had ended a long time ago, the last time I saw him he was drunk and beat me really bad. Mom stepped in and tried to stop him and he beat her for interfering.", I paused and then continued

"Eventually, our neighbors called the police and he was arrested and charged with 2 counts of domestic abuse.

The police were the ones that pressed the charges they were afraid that mom wouldn't." I explained.

"I spent a week in the hospital with a broken nose, concussion, and two broken ribs. Dad received 1 year in jail and a $6000 fine. They released him after serving 6 months of his sentence for good behavior." I explained.

"That is a slap on the hand" Uncle Brian said sounding angry.

"Yeah, they went easy on him, and he hasn't really learned anything because he showed up at our house, shortly after being released, we had a restraining order but what good is that so mom packed up and moved us here," I said calmly,

"This had not been the first time the police have been called on dad, all the other time's mom, refused to press charges. She hoped that he would change I guess, but if anything it only made things worse." I said sadly.

"You haven't had it easy have you?" Uncle Brian said sympathetically.

"Not really, but things are starting to look up now," I said grinning.

"Well you have one good thing going for you Ashley, you already pass for a girl, some guys wait until they're well into manhood to transition, but don't look as convincing as you will." Uncle Brian said with a smile.

"Are you saying I am pretty?" I said grinning.

"Well that is not what I meant, but if I was to look at you strictly as a girl I would have to say yes," Uncle Brian said in a low voice.

"I was only kidding but thanks", Uncle Brian.

    Uncle Brian and I arrived home almost an hour after leaving Barbs home after he parked the car I looked over at him.

"I guess that I need to talk to my mother now?”, I said frowning.

"Yes Ashley, but I will be there with you." Uncle Brian said reassuringly.

"Good, I don't really want to face her alone," I said looking over at him and then the two of us made our way inside.

        After making our way into the house, I saw Megan and Amy curled up on the couch watching a movie together, Megan pulsed the movie when she saw me come in.

"How did things go," Megan asked

"Good, but I think we need to have a family meeting and that includes everyone living in this house," I said looking over at Uncle Brian and then at Amy.

    After a few minutes, everyone was gathered together in the living room. Alright, what I am about to say isn't going to leave the house. Unless you really hate me and feel like making my life a living hell. I looked over at my mother who looked visually upset.

"Have you talked with Barbara mom?"

"Yes, honey she called me earlier." Mom replied.

"Good, so this isn't going to be a surprise for you," I said then looked over at everyone else and then continued.

"I guess the easiest way to say this, I was born with an element of both sexes. So in terms that will easier to understand, I am 75% female and maybe 25 percent male." I paused then continued.

"The percentage could be even higher, either way, I will no more once the tests have been run. "

"I entered puberty as a girl that is why I look more like a girl then a boy," I explained and then continued.

"The doctor said in cases like mine, the patient could make a choice which gender they wanted to live as. In my mind I have always known deep down I was a girl." I paused then continued.

"I am going to do whatever it takes to complete the transition and become a girl. I am telling you this because I am going to start living as a woman from this point on." I said firmly.

The room was completely silent as everyone took in what I had just said, mom was the first to speak, "I know you are not happy with me at the moment Ashley, but after talking to your doctor, I understand a lot more than I did before. If this is what you need to do, then go ahead and do it. I won't stand in your way.", Mom said looking me in the eyes.

"You already know that you have my support" Uncle Brian said putting his arm around my shoulder.

"Mine too", Amy said with a big smile.

"Having another nephew or niece doesn't matter to me." Aunt Helen chimed in.

"You know how I feel. Ashley, I have always wanted a little sister.," Megan said with a grin.

"Thank you everyone", I said as tears started to flow and before I even realize mom was holding me in her arms.

"It's alright baby, we're all here for you and I am sorry for hurting you." Mom said soothingly.

"I forgive you, mom," I said pulling her closer to me and returning the hug.

It was that night that all of us pulled together as one family. I no longer just had Mom and Megan to turn too, I had Uncle Brian, Aunt Helen, and of course, there was Amy, who I suspected would end up to be more like a sister than a cousin.

Later that night after returning to my bedroom, there was a knock on my door. It’s opened I yelled loud enough for whoever it was could hear.

“It’s just me”, Amy replied and I heard her coming up the stairs and entering my bedroom.

“I have something here for you Ashley, I know that you are just getting started and I have a lot of clothing that has sat in the closet for god knows how long.” She said with a big smile.

“Thanks, Amy, that is so nice of you,” I said excitedly.

“Your welcome.” She said setting the box on the bed next to me.

“There is one item, in here that I think you will really like.” She said reaching for the box and pulling out a small box and handing it to me.

I opened the box and inside sat two very realistic looking breast forms.” why would you have these?” I asked her somewhat surprised.

“Well between the two of us, I was a late bloomer like you,” Amy said grinning.

“I don’t know how to thank you, Amy, these are going to make my life so much easier,” I said giving her a hug.

“I thought you would like them, there is also a bottle of glue inside that you can use if you want to, or you can just set them in the cups of your bra, either way, it’s up to you,” Amy said returning my hug.

“This will at least hold you over until we can get out and do some shopping, you are going to need a lot more then this if you're going to be living as a girl full time,” Amy exclaimed.

“Well, I will let you get some rest Ashley, it’s been a long day and you look like you could use it,” Amy said with a smile and then went back downstairs.

 

 

Chapter 9

    

 

     It was almost 9 am when I pulled myself out of bed I had slept like a baby and felt really well rested for a change. After a quick shower, it was time to figure out what I was going to wear. I could go all out in girl mode but decided against it. Although I had a few dresses now thanks to Amy, I was not ready to spend the day out wearing a dress.

I decided on wearing a pink bra and panties set, I didn't dare use the glue on my breast forms yet, I would get Amy or Megan to help me with that later.

It really felt funny as I tucked myself trying to hide any indication that I was male, the material felt really nice against my skin, and I found myself wondering why they didn't make guys underwear using the same material.

I guess it would just remain one of life's little mysteries. I thought to myself as I slipped on a pair of my new jeans and a pink tank top Amy had given me and thanks to my newfound friends I looked like pretty much any other teenage girl.

There were a few boxes in the corner of my bedroom, with shoes so I spent a few minutes sorting through it and I found a pair of Amy's old sneakers. They looked to be in good shape so I tried them on and they were a perfect fit. They were a dark shade of pink which left no doubt to anyone that they were girls sneakers.

After a little more searching I found a nice little purse and a nice jean jacket which I tried on, it was a little big on me but not by much so I decided that I would wear it. I spent a few minutes filling my new purse, I didn't really have much, other than my cell phone.

There was a wallet built inside of the purse that came out and I place my identification inside as well as what little money I had and decided it was time for the world to see the new and improved Ashley Roberts and made my way downstairs.

    Once downstairs I could hear Megan and Amy talking in their room, the door was opened, so I lightly tapped, on the wall. “Mind if I come in?" I asked as the two of them turned and saw me.

"Ashley, you have boobs?" Megan said matter of factly.

"Yes, I was visited last night by the boob fairy.", I said winking at Amy.

"What do you think though?" I asked referring to my new look.

"You look good Ashley, but there is one thing missing," Megan said with a grin.

"What is missing?" I said looking over at her.

"Makeup Ashley, no self-respecting girl leaves home without it.", Megan said with a grin

"Come on in Ashley, it's time you had your first makeover," Amy said with a smile.

    So I soon found myself sitting at Amy's makeup table while the two of them worked on my hair and makeup. By the time they were finished and I was able to see the results, I couldn't believe the girl in the mirror looking back was me.

Megan and Amy had to go really easy on the makeup but the results were breathtaking. The girl in the mirror looked like she could have walked right out of a fashion show.

"Wow, I knew she would look good but damn she looks amazing. I am kind of jealous." Amy said with a big smile.

"Yeah next to Ashley, I feel kind of plain," Megan said as she shook her head in disbelief.

"Enough of that, the two of you are absolute knockouts," I exclaimed.

"So are you Ashley", Megan said with a big smile which caused me to start blushing.

"Now, we need to work on getting moms credit card, so I can take my little sister shopping", Megan said thinking aloud.

"Yeah, Ashley and I talked about that last night, I think the direct approach is the best option," Amy exclaimed

"Maybe you're right Amy, Mom needs to understand Ashley has to look perfect if she is going to fit in, and not draw attention to herself," Megan said in a low voice.

        Megan, Amy and I made our way downstairs and into the kitchen, I entered last wanting to see the expression on their faces.  As I entered, I wish that I would have had a camera, because the look on Mom's face was priceless.

"Oh, baby you look so beautiful." Mom said getting up and running over and giving me a hug.

"How does it feel?" she asked after releasing the hold she had on me.

"I am happy, and I guess a bit excited, this is the real me mom," I said with a smile.

"Baby I can see that now, you look so alive and you have a spark in your eyes I have never seen before." Mom said with a smile.

"Yeah mom, it's called mascara," I said giggling.

"No honey, it's not mascara, I can see it to", Aunt Helen said as she came over to take a look for herself.

"I can't get over how beautiful you are." Aunt Helen said with a warm smile.

"Thanks", I said blushing.

"I already knew that you were beautiful Ashley, but you have taking it to a whole new level.”, Uncle Brian said then reached over and took me in his arms.

"Thank you, Uncle Brian, you're the best", I said leaning in and hugging him.

After breakfast, I pulled mom aside, and the two of us went into the living room so we could talk in private without everyone knowing our business.

"I am going to be starting school soon, and I am not very prepared, I am going to need a new wardrobe one that is going to fit my new image. I know you have likely already thought of this and were planning a trip to the mall or something but I think it would be best if Megan and Amy took me" I said and then continued.

"I need to fit in with the other kids and they know what is in style. I promise whatever we get will be acceptable, I really don't want to look like a slut." I said looking her in the eyes.

"Maybe you're right, I haven't shopped for Megan in years, I usually just give her the money and drop her off, and if she is going to be with you I doubt there is anything to worry about, but you and I are going to need to do some shopping for outside of school. If you're going to be a girl, then you’re going to need dresses and other items." Mom said with a big smile.

"That's cool Mom I would like that," I said grinning.

Before leaving mom had a talk with Megan and me, about what was appropriate and gave Megan her credit card and a few minutes later Megan, Amy and I were off to The Burlington Mall.

         We arrived at The Burlington Mall 30 minutes later and the first place that we went was Walmart. There were so many things that I was going to need to begin with and Walmart seem to be the best place to begin, we would hit some of the other stores later for Jeans, tops, and shoes.

It was still early but the mall was surprisingly busy. As we made our way into Walmart, and over to the women's department and we spent the next hour searching for panties, bras, nylons, and socks. All of these things could be bought in large volume, compared to one pair at a time, and considering I had very little we thought that would be our best choice.

We then moved onto jeans, yoga pants, t-shirts, and blouses and some workout gear. Although I was exempt from physical education, there was no reason I couldn't still use them.

After finishing up at Walmart we made our way over to Bluenotes to check out dresses.

"How about this one?" Amy said holding up a wine colored striped swing dress.

"It's nice, put it in the cart and I will try it on," I said then continued looking.

We really didn't find much I really liked in the dress section, so we move on and started checking out Lingerie, I came across something they called a cold bodysuit, it came in black and pink but I liked the black colored one best, you wore it like a tee shirt but it had the shoulders exposed. I decided to throw it into the cart to try on later.

Next, we moved onto Jeans, which they seemed to have quite a selection. I thought to myself as the three of us started looking through all the different styles.

"These are nice, you should try them on," Megan said holding up a pair of low rise jeans.

"These are nice too Ashley", Amy said handing me a pair of black high-rise jeans.

I put both pairs into the cart and continued looking until I found a pair of Medium Rise Super Skinny Jeans and I loved the style of them and I just had to have them and placed them into the cart, I planned on buying more than one pair.

"Those are nice Ashley, I have a few pairs also," Amy said with a smile.

"Yeah, I love them", I said grinning

Satisfied with the items we found my next stop was the changing room where I tried everything on and between Megan and Amy we sorted out all the right sizes and we were ready to move onto the next store which was Forever 21.

There we found some more dresses and various tops. There was also this nice crushed velvet moto-style jacket which I loved and had to have so I tried it on, on the spot.

"What do you guys think?" I said turning to Megan and Amy,

"You should get it, it’s perfect for you," Amy said with a grin.

"Amy is right, it looks good on you Ashley" Megan exclaimed.

So I placed my new jacket in the shopping cart and the three of us continued shopping. Forever 21 had a better selection of intimate wear then the other stores we had been in earlier so I was glad we waited. This was the one area of the store that made me a little nervous.

I was surrounded by some very sexy looking bras and panties, and lots of stuff that really wasn't designed for everyday wear.

We spent another 30 minutes shopping and I picked out most of the items myself, although Megan and Amy made some suggestions. One thing Megan suggested was a semi-sheer knit lace waist corset. I really liked the look of it but thought it was a little too sexy.

Between Megan and Amy, I was eventually convinced to add it to the cart, with the other items and I had to admit it would help shape my body until I started to fill out on my own. The only thing left was shoes and boots so we moved over to that section next.

Where that summer would be starting soon Amy suggested I get a pair of sandals, after searching for a while, I decided on a pair of leather crisscross sandals.

They were a nice sandal, but also dressy and would be good for even going on a date.  I thought to myself as I placed the new shoes into my shopping cart, all that was left was some dress shoes.

I would have to spend time practicing walking but every girl needs a pair of high heels, and I was no different. I thought to myself as we made our way over and started looking for what they had available.

"How about these?" Amy said holding up a pair of Velvet Strappy Stilettos. I thought they looked nice but questioned if I could walk in them and said so.

It's only a 4.5, believe me, you can handle them, Ashley," Amy exclaimed.

"Alright, I guess that I will take them", I said and continued looking.

The last thing we bought was a pair of Suede Booties they had a 4-inch heel but I really liked them and they would go with just about any outfit I now owned.

 

Chapter 10

 

        After hours of shopping, we made our way to the food court an over to the Starbucks I was glad for the break.  Megan took a place in line with Amy and I told her to grab me a caramel mocha Frappuccino and I would find us a table. The only table available was one near the door so I pushed the shopping cart over next to the table and took a seat.

I was completely exhausted, from all the running from store to store and was glad to finally have a break. All that was left was to go to one of the hair salons in the mall and have my hair done. At least with that, I could sit down and relax.

Megan and Amy joined me a few minutes later and took a seat at the table. “It’s nice to finally be able to rest. Megan said taking one of her shoes off and massaging her foot.

"Me too, I am exhausted", Amy said handing me my coffee.

"thanks, both of you for coming, I would never have been able to do all this without your help," I said with a smile.

"It's alright Ashley, it might have been tiring but it was also fun," Megan exclaimed.

"Yeah, I enjoyed myself too. It was nice shopping with the both of you." I said grinning.

"This was better then what I normally do when I used to go shopping with Megan and Mom."

"What did you usually do, I really can't see you going from store to store as a guy," Amy exclaimed.

"Usually, I would just hit the arcade, or the nearest HMV and check out the latest Cd's," I explained.

“I can understand why you would feel that way, especially knowing what I know now, but I guess you will be joining mom and I from now on,” Megan exclaimed.

“Mmm, god this is a good coffee.”, Amy said with a smile.

“Yeah, it is good,” I said with a grin and heard a beep coming from inside my purse.”

After opening my purse, I reached inside and took out my phone and found a text message from Adam waiting for me. “It’s from Adam,” I said aloud.

"Why would Adam have your number?" Megan asked me.

"He asked me for it after the two of us spent the day playing Mini Golf.", I explained.

"Well that could be a problem, all I can say is be careful. He may not be as accepting as Amy and me." Megan said looking across the table at me.

"I have thought about that also, but I don't plan on dating him. If that is what you’re worried about Megan."

"Good the last thing you need right now is to get involved with guys, you already have more than enough on your plate Ashley," Megan exclaimed.

"I wouldn't worry too much Adam is a decent guy, I have known him for years, if he is into you he isn’t going to push things if you tell him you’re not interested but that doesn’t mean he will give up on you either," Amy said grinning.

"Are you saying Ashley should go out with him?" Megan said looking over at Amy.

"No Megan, I didn't say that but if they did get together and Ashley set the rules I doubt there would be any problems," Amy explained.

“This is something that I need to think about, I like Adam and if I could continue seeing him I would, but Megan is right. Guys are a distraction.” I said with a smile.

    After a quick coffee, our next stop was the hair salon, there were a few different Hair Salon’s in the mall but Amy, took me over to the Salon she normally went to.

It was called,” Attitudes and Hair.” The first thing I thought to myself was what a stupid name.” but I decided to keep my thoughts to myself as I made my way over to the receptionist.

“Good Afternoon, my name is Julie, and how may I help you today?” She asked me cheerfully.

“Hi Julie, my name is Ashley, and I am looking to get something done about my hair, nails and if possible have my ears pierced, is there any chance that you can squeeze me in my cousin says this is the best Salon in town,” I said with a smile.

Julie looked on her computer, “I can squeeze you in for 3:30 pm if that works with you?” Julie said with a smile.

“That would be perfect Julie, and thanks, I really didn’t want to make another trip since I was already here.”, I replied with a big grin.

“That is completely understandable Ashley, your stylist today is going to be Emily and when she is ready for you she will come out and call your name. There are some style books on the table over there, why don’t you have a seat and see if there is anything you like.” Julie said with a smile.

I returned to the waiting room and joined Megan and Amy, Over the next half hour, the three of us looked through the stylebook until I found a look that I really liked. I then took one of the Salons business cards and used it as a bookmark to make it easy to find once I had a chance to talk with Emily.

A few minutes later a woman in her early 30's came out and called my name. I stood up and made my way over to her."Hi,  you must be Emily, it's nice to meet you. I am Ashley." I said with a smile.

“Thanks for squeezing me in, It’s been awhile since I have had anything done with my hair, and i think its time for a completely new look,” I said with a smile.

“Well you came to the right place Ashley, so did you have anything special in mind?” Emily asked me.

“Yes, I kind of like this style”, I said opening the style book and showing her the style I wanted her to recreate.

“Good choice, do you want me to dye your hair the same color?” Emily replied.

“That depend’s Emily, do you think it would suit me.”

“It would but your natural color would look better especially if we added some highlights, and maybe a perm to give it some extra body.  What do you think Ashley?” Emily said with a smile.

"That sounds perfect," I exclaimed

“Let’s head in the back and we can get started,” Emily said with a grin.

I followed Emily, into the back and took a seat at her workstation and she ran her hands through my hair. “I see what you mean, you made it here just in time, I think that I can save the patient,” Emily said with a grin.

“But seriously girl, how could you let it get this bad,” Emily exclaimed.

“Does the term tomboy mean anything to you?” I said frowning.

“Well, you will never be mistaking for a tomboy again once I am finished with you Ashley,” Emily said as she lowered the salon chair down over the basin and started washing out my hair.

It felt good as Emily’s hands massaged my scalp, “Well at least you have been combing it out properly,  I think we are going to have to give you a little trim to take care of those split ends and then we can start working on styling your hair.” Emily said as she continued.

Emily spent the next hour, washing cutting and styling my hair and then she poured some foul smelling liquid onto my scalp, I knew what it was because,  Mom and one of my Aunts, used to buy them to do each other's hair.

After she was finished washing my hair Emily spent the next 10 minutes expertly putting my hair in curlers, once she was finished. she lowered the bonnet over my head and set the timer on the hairdryer.

"I will be back in a few minutes, in the meanwhile i will have Beverly come over and start your nails," Emily said and then left to find Beverly.

A few minutes later an older Asian lady came over, pushing a small cart. "Good afternoon she said with a big smile. I hear you want your nails done."

"Yes, but i am not really sure how long i want them, I play guitar and I don't want it to affect the way i play," i said looking her in the eyes.

"First of all let's decide on what type of nails you want?" Beverly exclaimed

"Sorry, up till now I haven't really paid much attention to nail styles, what would you go with I asked her?"

"I like acrylic nails best, they are very tough and less likely to break, but once they are on they can't come off until your own nails grow out but on the plus side they will teach you to play your guitar, as they grow and in time you won't have to worry about the length affecting how you play," Beverly explained.

"That sounds alright to me but nothing more than a few inches to start," I exclaimed.

"Perfect, now would you like a design on them.", Beverly said in a low voice.

"Yeah, that would be cool what do you have?" I asked.

Beverly opened a book and I looked through all the designs and decided which one i wanted and after making my choice she started working on my nails.

The two of us talked while she worked, She told me that she had been working at the Salon for over 10 years which i found really surprising. Considering these days people tended to jump from one job to another without much thought.

Beverly worked on my nails for about 20 minutes shaping them first and then she asked me what color I wanted and I decided on a light shade of pink.

I was quite surprised with the overall look when Beverly finished they were not very long and they didn’t look like I would have any trouble getting used to them.

After Beverly finished I told her how happy I was with the job she had done and that I would definitely be back. Emily returned a few minutes later carrying some weird device.

“God Beverly did an awesome job on your nails, Ashley,” Emily said with a smile.

“Yes, she did a great job, I love how they look,” I said excitedly.

“So are you ready to get your ears pierced.”

She said holding up the device she was carrying, which must have been her piercing gun.

“Yes, I would like two piercings in both ears like my sister has,” I said nervously.

“Alright Ashley, you're going to hear a loud popping sound followed by a light sting, the pain only lasts for a few seconds, so you're going to have to stay completely still, “Emily explained.

“Ready”, Emily asked.

“Yes, I am ready”, I exclaimed and then felt her bring the gun up to my right ear. I then heard the popping sound and she was right there was a mild sting but nothing I couldn’t handle.  She then repeated the process and moved onto my left ear and repeated the process over again. When she was finished, I had had two sets of studs in each ear, just like my sister Megan.

Emily then took the next couple of minutes and explained how long I would have to wear the studs before I could remove them and start wearing normal earrings. I also had to clean the area regularly using alcohol to avoid them getting infected.

Emily left for a few minutes to return the piercing gun when I heard the alarm go off on the hair dryer and it turned off.  I was glad it was finally over, Emily had rolled my hair up in curlers earlier and as my hair dried they became tighter and tighter until they started to actually hurt.

I had decided on getting a perm because it would mean less work for me to maintain it. I knew it was something that needed to be done and just tried my best to put up with the smell.

When Emily returned she spent the next 20 minutes, removing and brushing out my hair which seemed to take forever but I had to admit when she finished the result spoke for themselves, unbelievable, gone was the geeky awkward young man, and in his place stood a beautiful young teenage girl.

I now had long strawberry blonde hair, with highlights that gave it a really nice look. there was also a permanent wave that went down just past my shoulder blades.

“So what do you think?”, Emily said with a smile.

“It looks perfect Emily.”, I said looking at my reflection in the mirror and smiling.

“I am glad you like it, Ashley you are a beautiful girl, I am glad you decided to share it with the rest of the world,” Emily said with a big smile.

“Thanks, Emily, but I think you should take some credit, you did a great job with my hair, you’re an awesome stylist and I will diffidently be back,” I said with a big smile.

“Thanks, Ashley, I will give you my card, any time you need anything done you can give me a call.”

“Believe me, I will be calling,” I said with a smile still finding it hard to believe the girl staring back at me was really me.

    

When Emily and I finally returned to the front of the salon, we were met by a very shocked Megan and Amy. The look on their faces was priceless.

“OMG”, Megan said with a huge smile as she brought her hands up covering her mouth.

“Unbelievable”, Amy exclaimed.

“I take it you both like the new look?” I said with a big smile.

“Yes,” the two of them said at exactly the same time.

I smiled back at them, “I love it too.”

“Wow Ashley, I love your nails I am kind of jealous,” Amy said with a smile.

“Me too, they look really pretty”, Megan replied.

“I want mine done too,” Megan said with a smile.

“Me too", Amy exclaimed.

“It’s a slow day, I am sure Beverly could slip the both of you in. If you want, I can ask her.” Emily said looking over at Megan and then Amy.

“If you don’t mind that would be great”, Megan responded.

Emily left for a few minutes then returned,

“she can fit the both of you in, so who will be first?”

“I will go first, can we add this all on the same bill as Ashley, I am paying with a credit card,” Megan asked Emily.

“Sure that shouldn’t be a problem, I haven't rung everything in yet anyway,” Emily said and then led Megan to the back of the salon where she had done my hair earlier.

Amy then turned to me, “I see you have your ears double pierced too, girl, when you go out you go all out, don’t you,” Amy said with a big smile.

“Megan has hers done this way too, I figured why not.’ I exclaimed.

“Well I like the new look Ashley,” Amy said grinning.

“Yeah but mom is going to shit when she sees the bill for today's excursion,” I said frowning.

“Actually you did, pretty well just about everything you bought was on sale, minus a few items that are impossible to get on sale,” Amy explained.

“Well, I think that we have everything that I will need Amy.”

“Not yet, you need a few more things, makeup and hair supplies and at least one bottle of perfume, for your date with Adam,” Amy said teasingly.

“So where are we going to pick up that stuff Amy?”

“There’s a pharmacy on this floor, it’s just around the corner from here. We can find everything we need there Ashley.”

“Good, it’s been a long day and I am tired,” I exclaimed.

“Me too, we have done a lot of running today.” Amy sighed.

A few minutes later Megan returned sporting a new pair of acrylic nails, that were styled and shaped just like my own. “These look so cool”, Megan said grinning.

Amy was next and followed Emily to the back of the store. Megan turned to me, “It’s so cool having a sister now to do stuff like this with. Believe me, Ashley, I loved having you as my brother but being sisters is so much better.” Megan said reaching over and gave me a hug.

“I love you too sis,” I said returning her hug.

“Mom might not love us, though when she sees today's bill,” I exclaimed.

“Maybe not, but everything that we bought was needed, and almost everything was on sale. She will understand, she knows how expensive clothes are.” Megan said reassuringly.

“True and it’s not like I only needed a few things, I needed a whole wardrobe,” I exclaimed.

“We're not done yet, little sister there are still plenty of things we need to do, but that can wait for another day, I am completely exhausted,” Megan said frowning.

“Me too, there's just one more stop and we can call a cab and head home,” I said in a low voice.

“Where's that?” Megan asked.

“There is a pharmacy nearby, I need my own makeup and a few other supplies,” I explained.

    Once Amy returned Megan paid the bill, Amy would sort out what she owed later. Our last stop was the pharmacy, and we didn’t spend very much time there because all I needed was makeup and a few other items. Since Megan and I had a similar complexion. Most of the products were the same ones she used.

The only difference was our tastes in perfumes, but I eventually found a scent that I really liked. I also started picking out some hair products, I needed a hair dryer, and a curling wand, as well as shampoos and a few other items.

After gathering up everything I needed we made our way over to the checkout and paid the bill and exited the store.

“That’s it”, I exclaimed.

“Yeah, time to head home,” Amy exclaimed.

With a full shopping cart, we headed to the main entrance, there were always cabs there, Amy said as Megan and I followed closely behind.

Amy was right, there were a few taxis nearby one of them was a van so we decided it would be best to take the van and went over. The driver climbed out and open the back door and help load the bags into the back.

“So where to ladies,” the cab driver said with a big smile.

“125 Lancaster Road please”, Amy said with a grin.

“Sure thing ladies”, he said then put the car in drive and we were on our way home.

“Mom’s going to flip when she sees you, Ashley, Megan said looking over at me.

“She is not the only one, mom and dad will too and I bet a handsome young man, we all know will like the new you too,” Amy said with a smile.

I found myself thinking about how well things had worked out, I wasn’t happy that I had to move, but I was finally able to accept who I really was inside and found the strength to follow it through and become the person I was meant to be.

End of part 2,

the story continues in part 3