~o~O~o~

Editing by Djkauf

Part two of little Mackenzie Somerset.

~o~O~o~

Nine years ago

I was still scared of this room. All those tools and devices around the room. Each of them looked like something from a horror movie. At least, for me, the five year old, that’s how they looked. And I had watched Dad watch one of those once, from the stairs that led to my room, so I knew. Didn’t sleep well for several nights. All of this was a horror movie. Well, except for the scale. That thing is neat. How the nurse or doctor get to tap the little weights to find my weight. And that bar thing to show how tall I am. Totally neat. Better than all the blood and stuff they had to take. Needles are scarey things. At least I keep getting candy for it.

I like sitting on the bed thingy. I can get a little swing with my legs, but Mom hates it when I hit the side of the bed and make noise. The loud, thump, thump noise. Which was what I was doing. Thankfully I was dressed again, after yet another exam from the doctor, and we were waiting for him to return. This was the second visit in less than two months. The tests were happening all the time. Or at least once a year. He had been running tests since I was a little kid and I swear some of this he has run several times.

Mom must have seen how nervous I was, because she reached over and put a hand on mine. “It will all work out, Mackenzie.” She said. Mom’s have that smile that can help calm you down. Unless you’re sitting in a doctor’s office.

The door opened up and a man with brown and grey hair came in and went to a counter, before he stopped, turned and grabbed a stool and sat down, facing us.

“Okay, Mackenzie. What we’re going to cover will go over your head. So we’re going to take this slow, okay? We’re going to cover a lot of things, many of them are embarrassing and we need you to be a grown up about this, understand?”

I nodded. “Okay.” I managed to squeak out.

“That means don’t interrupt the doctor.” My Dad said. “And no whining when he talks about body things. It’s your body and you have to know about it.” He was standing behind the bed and doing his best, with Mom’s help, to keep me calm.”

“Okay.” I whined. My feet hit the side of the table bed thingy again.

“And stop swinging your feet.” Mom said, putting her hands on my legs to stop the swing.

“Now as you know, we’ve been running tests on you for years. The last one was just a few weeks ago and I am sorry you weren’t able to come straight back here. Now remember how I’ve told you we’d check for a gene? Well, we found you have the XX karyotype?” I nodded as he started to talk. Honestly, I began to pay attention to my swinging feet. I could hear him and Mom talking, but I was bored. Bored, bored, bored.

A hand tapped my shoulder and I hopped in place on the bed and looked up.

“What?!?”

“You stopped paying attention. You need to pay attention to this.” The Doctor said. “This is important stuff.”

“Sweetie, he is telling us some important stuff here. Something that will shake the whole house up. And something that directly affects you.”

“Okay.” I said, this time sounding like the scolded child I was.

“Mackenzie, when a little boy grows up, his penis grows. Not much at first, but some. You don't have any testicles that we can locate. Now we covered this. But so far, your penis isn’t growing. That’s just a tip of the iceberg. One of the tests we ran was a genetic test, which can help us see things a bit better.”

I began to tune him out again and after a few moments of him rambling out the large doctor words, Mom took pity on me. “Mackenzie, what he is saying is that you are not just a boy. In fact, genetically, you’re my daughter.”

“I...what?”

“Remember that test from last week? The needle and the big words?” Mom asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. Why?”

“Sweetie. What Doctor Moon was saying is they found girls genes in you. He wants to run a test to scan your belly and see if you have the proper girl parts in you. See a boy has a penis on the outside. But girls have parts on the inside. Those parts help make babies. And you have those parts.”

“I’m gonna make babies?” I asked, in that innocent, confused five year old kinda way.

Dad chuckled, Mom shot him a nasty look and shook her head. “Not right now. And you better wait until you’re older to even think about it.”

“I want to offer a suggestion.” Doctor Moon said. “You’ve been seeing a therapist, right?”

“Yes. With all the crazy happenings in the house, it can be hard for a child to hide those secrets. And with school about to happen....” Mom looked to the floor for a moment. “Plus other things.”

“Other things?” The doctor asked. Mom was silent at first and Doctor Moon spoke up again. “Helen, I can’t tell anyone what goes on in this room. You’ve known me for years. I would never spread any secrets.”

“Mackenzie is cross dressing, often. Very often.” Mom said. “Wearing my clothes, mostly. Dancing around in my skirts and stuff. There are even clothes in Mackenzie’s closet that would seem a bit....girly. Pink pajamas and panties. Mackenzie insisted I buy them once.”

“Well, then. I want to hold a meeting with Mackenzie's therapist. A big meeting. After the ultrasound.”

“What sound?” I asked.

“An ultrasound is a test where they take a wand, put it on your belly and we get to see what you look like on the insides.” The Doctor stated.

“Like a magic wand?” I asked.

“No. But it emits high pitched sounds that humans can’t hear.”

“Could a werewolf hear it?” I asked, in that innocent kid way of asking.

He thought about it for a moment. Then he nodded, like he had to think of everything he knew about werewolves. “Well, a wolf has better hearing than a human. So yeah, I believe that a werewolf could hear it.”

I then asked what was foremost on my mind. The big question. “Will it hurt?”

"The gel we have to use will be cold, but this won’t hurt you at all.” The doctor stated.

“It’s gonna be fine.” Mom said. “I had one when I was pregnant with you. You turned out okay.”

“Will I get a shot?”

“No. You won’t need a shot.” The doctor said.

“Can we do it after my classes?”

“Classes?” The doctor asked Mom. “I thought school wasn’t in session yet? Its not even July yet.”

“Windsurfing. Our next door neighbor is teaching the kids to windsurf. And Mackenzie and Harry’s Daughter take classes at the same time. Those kids are practically glued at the hip. Darcy and her brothers.”

“Ah, the Walters. I know them well.” Doctor moon replied. “I see them all the time.”

“Known them for years. Clark and Harry knew each other in high school.” Mom said.

“Hmmm.” Doctor Moon leaned back. “We have to go with what is open, schedule wise. But we can try and work around it.”

~o~O~o~

Dad didn't come this time and I lay on the bed, a towel over my privates, and my shirt off, but my top covered by another towel. There was a female doctor in there with me, and Mom. She was holding my hand as the lady put the cold jelly on my stomach, making me twitch.

“Relax sweetie. I need this to help see inside you.”

So I lay there, watching Mom, who just smiled at me. I was bored already. I mean we had been sitting in the waiting room for almost an hour. My class was coming up soon and I wanted out of here, to have fun. Also, I was bored.

The doctor was keeping the T.V. thing she could see, away from me, but Mom was leaning over to see it. I could hear them whisper every now and then, and suddenly, the lady went

“Ohhhh.”

And mom gasped, like something shocked her. I looked up. “What? Am I dying?”

Mom chuckled, still watching the screen. “No baby. You’re not dying. Just something the doctor needs to see.”

“Will we still be able to go to the class?” I asked. “Mr. Walters said I could go on my own this time.”

“I promise. You’ll have time. It’s only nine in the morning and the class is after noon.” Mom said.

“Good. I wanna go across the bay on my own this time.” I stated, totally forgetting the woman's reaction at the little T.V.

Mom patted my shoulder. “Mackenzie, you know that you have to get the basic’s first. Harry want’s you safe. So he’s teaching you everything he can.”

“The bay?” The doctor asked.

“Windsurfing lessons.” Mom supplied. “Mackenzie is learning windsurfing with the neighbor kids.”

“Sounds like fun. Never learned, myself. Always wanted to." She said.

"I like it." I said. "It’s fun."

"So it would seem." The Doctor said. "Maybe one of these days I can get out there."

“Are we done yet?”

“No. And I need you to relax and stop moving around, so I can get good pictures of your insides. But right now, I need to remove the towel so we can get a better look at your groin area.”

Mom kept her hand on me. “It will all be fine.” She said, then she nodded to the doctor.

~o~O~o~

Mom’s car pulled up to the beach where Mr. Walters was at. Darcy saw me and she came running over, her brothers Lucas and Marcus with her. I had changed into the wetsuit I wore, at the doctor’s office. It was black with blue, but I really wanted the purple one. The only purple one was too big for me. I’d have to grow into it. There was no class, just me, and the triplets, Darcy, Lucas and Marcus. My brother hadn’t found it to be fun and he stopped coming after a while. But I loved the water. I loved the outdoors.

My friend Darcy is shorter than I am. So when she came running over, and hugged me. She was the only one who I had ever told, aside from my parents, that I felt like a girl. The two of us headed to the strip of sand, where a towel was sitting. Then she waited for me to take off my shorts and t-shirt, so we could head to the water.

“Come on!” Darcy darted in front of me, running for the bay’s edge, where her Dad was at. Him and three other guys had several small windsurfing boards there with them. As we got close, Harry smiled and bent down.

“Well, Mackenzie. Ready to get out there and have fun, again?”

“YEAH!” I exclaimed.

“Well, let’s get you and Darcy on the boards first.” He said, and turned, putting a hand on our shoulders to lead us to the water.

~o~O~o~

As we came into the house, over a couple hours later, Mom was there, working on a pile of papers. The smells of dinner cooking filled the house.

“So, how was the class?” Mom asked.

“FUN!!!” I exclaimed, then began to pantomime windsurfing in the house. That wasn’t a problem. But when I jumped on the couch to show her the wave I had went over, Dad picked me up.

“Now, now, kiddo. No jumping on the couch. Not when you’re dry and certainly not when you have a wetsuit on.” Dad held me so I was left hanging on his side, feet sticking out behind me.

“Clark? Mackenzie has another appointment with Doctor Moon in five days. We’ll need you there, again.” Mom said, without looking up.

Dad carried me to the hall and put me down. “Okay dear.”

“Its concerning the results of the ultrasound today.”

“Good. I’ll be there.” Then he looked to me, unzipped my wetsuit and patted my shoulder. “Go take that off in the bathroom. And we’ll start a shower, so you can get the bay water off of you. I’ll grab your pajamas.”

“The pony ones? And the purple underwear? With the kitties?”

“Yes.” Dad said, nodding his head. “Pony pajamas and purple undies with the cats. But wash good, you’re not getting a bath tonight.”

He stepped away from the bathroom and I pulled off my wetsuit. I tossed it to the side, onto a rack. I stopped after that, looking at my little body in the mirror and there it was, the thing that seemed to be making all my problems. I didn't even like it. In fact, it always felt out of place, for some reason. I never knew why.

I was bent over as he came in, standing near the tub, wetsuit haphazardly hung on a rack they had for it. “Something wrong, Kiddo?” Dad asked as he put my night clothes on the counter near the sink. I was busy looking at my only boy part.

I was so busy looking at myself, below the waist, that I hadn’t heard him talk to me. “Dad?”

“Yes, Mackenzie?”

I looked up. “Do you hate me for this?” And I pointed to my crotch. “For all the trouble and doctor things we have now?”

Dad sighed, came over to me and dropped to one knee. He looked me right in the eyes, never once looking away. “Mackenzie. Know this. Your mother and I love you very much. You didn’t ask to be born as you are. No one can control how they are born. The only thing you really can control is the person you will become. Only as you grow up, can you choose what paths you take in life. What’s on your body, or between your legs never matters. All that matters is that you have a good heart and a good mind.”

“And you don’t mind that I’m a girl?”

“I have never minded.” Dad said. “I love you no matter what.”

I jumped forward, hugging him. “Thank you, daddy!”

“Come on. Let’s get you into the shower and we can watch some cartoons before dinner.”

“Okay.” I said. I waited as Dad reached in and turned on the shower. He was better at finding the right temperature for me. He would stay in there with me, because I liked to play with the water, too much. Last time Mom said I had more on the floor, than in the tub. I liked baths better, but to get my hair clean and in a hurry, a shower was best.

~o~O~o~

A few days, we were sitting in Doctor Moon’s office. I was in my wetsuit again, ready to strip and head for the beach. It was an overcast day, with lots of wind, so that meant a good class with Harry. It was Dad, Mom, Me, plus my doctor I tell my feelings to. Doctor Blake was fun, but he always asked me questions and he had this way of having me answer them, even if I didn’t wanna. Mom and Dad were doing their best to keep me engaged in the conversation. Its not my fault there was so much to stare at in the room. The doctor said I get distracted way too easily. Something about ADD or something like that. At least that’s what he spelled out. I know he called it something attention something something. I don’t recall what. I wasn’t paying attention. They want to wait to make sure, though. Adults were just weird. Always wanting to do dumb, or boring things now, then wait on the important things.

I was a bit worried when Mom and Dad got up, with Doctor Moon, but they had me stay seated.

Doctor Blake looked to me and smiled. “Mackenzie, I got a few big questions for you and you alone.”

“Okay....” My voice wavered. I don’t know how I heard it, but I did.

“We’ve talked in the past and you said you wear your mother’s clothes. Plus you have your own. Do you feel like you should be a girl?” He asked and I nodded.

“Yep. And Doctor Moon said I have a girl’s jeans.” I replied. “Can I wear them?”

Doctor blake chuckled. “Gene with the letter G, not jeans with a J. One you wear, with a J. The G ones are inside you. They make up every part of you.”

“So I can’t wear them?”

“In a way, you are wearing them. Each thing about you had genes and other things, like chromosomes in them.” He said with that warm, friendly smile he had.

We talked a bit more, before he finally got up and had my parents return. I was confused. But as I looked up to ask my Mom questions, her smile stopped me from speaking. She sat down and put an arm around me.

I leaned into her. I was confused. Too many words and things were happening. I felt Dad pick up my hand as they started to talk to the doctor. They would ask questions and I would answer when I could, but I was still trying to figure out about the genes and jeans thing.

~o~O~o~

Four years ago

I was doing well. First of all, I was out of class again. Which was a bonus. I found myself in Doctor Moon’s office again. Which wasn’t a bonus. Mom was with me, which was a bonus, because we were getting take out before I went to Darcy’s house. and as the doctor came in, I was busy feeling Mom’s stomach. The baby kicked at my hand and I gasped.

“She kicked me!”

Well...” Mom said with a smile. “She is in a tight room down there. She could be turning around.”

“Could be. Baby’s do kick a lot.” Doctor Moon said.

“Are we making me a girl today?” I asked. To be honest, I asked that question each year I came in there. But I knew he wanted to wait. I was in public school and I had to use the nurse’s bathroom and stuff like that. I hated it.

“Not today. And when we do, it won’t be here.” Doctor Moon replied. “Today is just a random check up.”

The checkup was a fast one. Eyes, ears, all the normal things. Height and weight were taken care of all ready. Mom stopped Doctor Moon before he could leave. “Doctor Moon. Mackenzie voiced a real fear to us and I think we need to address it. Namely gym class.”

“And changing for it?” The Doctor guessed.

“Yes. If by time high school comes and she is living full time as a girl, Middle school will be bad, if people think she is a boy. Not to mention changing for gym and bathrooms.”

“Keep using the nurse’s bathroom.” He sighed. “But I can understand the other concern. We need to talk with your therapist, to get all the wheels rolling in the right direction.” He said. Maybe we can start Mackenzie in Middle school as a girl.” He looked to Mom. “Tell me, Helen, are you sending her to the same school that Reggie will go to?”

“Yeah. Public schools are so clueless. And there’s no laws to protect my baby right now. I’m afraid that someone will find out about her.”

“Yeah. I can understand that.” He said with a nod. “Mackenzie, I’ll contact your therapist. Most schools only have you change for gym in the middle and high school ages. So you should be safe until then.”

~o~O~o~

We ended up at Doctor Blake's and I guess Mom had never told Dad what had been going on. “So, Mackenzie wants to start school as a girl. We got the legal stuff taken care of. Name changes and birth certificate.” Mom told Dad. “We’re ready for Middle school.”

Again the legal and doctor talk went over my head and I began to tune them out. Mom and Doctor Moon must have decided to save me and they kept talking. I felt a piece of paper touch my lap and saw the Therapist was holding out some crayons.

“I know it’s childish, but indulge me. Draw whatever is on your mind, right now.”

So I started to draw, letting my mind guide the crayons. By the time they were ready to talk with me and not just about or to me, I had drawn, crudely, several stick figure drawings of me. Like one of me, in a skirt, riding a windsurfing board. Another of me, in a skirt, rock climbing. One with me and all my friends. Each stick figure had a name over it. A couple were of me and my parents, plus Reggie. I never drew the baby. I didn’t know what it was going to look like, even though Mom insisted it was going to be a girl.

Finally they stopped and Doctor Blake held out his hands. “Can I see those?” I handed him my drawings and he looked at them. “Well, you do love your family and the outdoors, don’t you?”

“Yep.” I said with a nod of my head.

“That’s good. Far too many kids your age stay in the house, never leave and never get exercise.”

“I love the water and the mountains. I wish Reggie did. We could go camping more, if he’d go with us.” I said, grumpily.

And there it is. Part 2. Sorry about the lack of updates, been trying to rework some stuff, but almost ready to post part 3