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Ever do something stupid? I mean, really stupid. No, stupider than that.
by jijillian
3. Out of Their League
"Do you remember asking me for a date? Both of you on the same day?" Phil asked.
Dick blinked solemnly and nodded. Willie blushed and bit his lip, but he nodded, too.
"Now seriously, look at me, look at you two. Aren't I obviously way out of your league?"
They nodded again, cringing. Phil pushed her lips tightly together to keep from smiling. If they shrank back from her any more it would look as if the sofa had begun eating them, butt first.
"It was a dare," volunteered Willie. "The guys in gym said we didn't have balls enough to ask the prettiest sophmore girl for a date."
"Pretty?" Phil snapped. "You think I'm pretty?" She faked a haughty annoyance. "I've never been so insulted in my life!"
The couch seemed about ready to swallow both boys. They babbled a bit, confusing each other and making verbal hash of apologies and explanations.
"Sure," admitted Phil. "I wished you two would never have balls enough to ask me again but I didn't expect it to come true. How many wishes ever come true, even for a witch?"
The look the boys gave her would have shamed an orphan puppy left out in the rain after it's owner died trying to save his mother from a runaway monster truck. She had to smile again but she turned away so they couldn't see. If they went on another half hour crying jag, she knew she'd end up just throwing them out and their problem intrigued --even titillated-- her.
"Are you really a witch?" Dick asked, after swallowing hard several times.
"Oh, yes," said Phil. "And not one of these neo-pagan religious-type witches, either. My aunts were witches back before Salem, before Merlin, maybe. We've got family traditions that go back to Babylon." She grinned, enjoying herself. She realized that the boys would believe anything she told them -- they didn't have the balls not to. "Aunt Julianna is gone to New Orleans to get some fresh filé and some moldy dirt from a certain grave. Aunt Boadicea flew to Vegas with her boyfriend who's in a show there. They won't either of them be back till Monday."
Dick and Willie exchanged glances. Alone with a beautiful girl with all the adults out of town? Scary. Since the girl claimed to be the witch who had caused them to lose their balls, even more scary.
Willie asked the important question, "Can you help us?"
"I think so," said Philomena, trying to look thoughtful instead of just smirking. "The first thing to do is to get naked. Everyone has to be naked for witchcraft to work." And this way, she thought, I can actually get to see that they have no balls.
The boys stared at her, their mouths open.
"Let's see," Phil mused. "I made that wish in my bedroom, so that's where we need to try to work the counterspell. C'mon."
* * *
[next: Pascal Bites]
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Comments
Rules
I can't help but wonder at the rules for magic here. Heck at this point we're not sure she really is a witch although she sure acts like a _itch! I mean they just asks for a date and she even thinks about such a thing? Okay, Okay, I'm reading too much into this! Now she's humiliating the poor things!
hugs!
grover
Rules?
Rules for magic? What a concept! :D
But you're right about Full'o'mean, I mean, Philomena. :p
jijillian
Rules for reading
Somebody just sent me a PM asking if this story would be basically an elaborate wordplay because if so she didn't intend to read it because it would be too much work.
I found this to be a very curious attitude. I answered no comment and she sent me back that she would not read it then.
This apparently because I made a pun in the comment above.
I would think that after three episodes, the important question was, was she enjoying it? Apparently not.
I tend to write so a story can be enjoyed on several levels. There are things in some of my stories that I didn't even get until the third re-read because my subconscious is more devious than I am. People who have similar backgrounds to mine will notice things that others may miss.
There are no tests to be given on this material. Read and enjoy it as you can. Or don't. But asking me if I'm going to write something that you won't want to put in the effort to understand is -- well, a bit hard to know how to react.
jijillian
well...
Honestly, the bits so far are too short to know what's going on. Which I guess is sort of deliberate. Bit of a gamble though as you risk losing people, before you make the point or punch line as the case may be. Still, I have to say that making me think is not a reason to give up, usually the opposite in fact. I don't mind thinking every now and then. I mean, playing with words is sort of an authory thing, an obligation even. But do take care to not stretch it too far.
Kristina
Yes
It's deliberate. :p
Short parts are easily adjusted for in reading, just wait till several are out and read them all at once. As a reader, I'd rather short parts than long ones since if the part posted is too long to read at once I've got to either download it or try to remember where I left off in reading it.
All the parts written so far are one scene, 500 to 900 words long. That's about how much I get time to write in a day. If I don't do anything but write, I can turn out 5000 words or more in a day but I've seldom got time like that.
It's always a gamble for author and reader to start a serial online. I won't hold it against anyone who wants to wait till I'm done before reading. But if you read along and make comments, well, I am listening. }:)
jijillian
Wish Fulfillment
The parts are short. That's why I waited and read three at once. It'll be hard to wait for another three though. I really like this.
I have to wonder if Phil's wish was reciprocated by the two boys. That would be an interesting twist.
Thanks and please keep 'em comin' (no pun intended). :)
- Terry
Yeah, but these aren't
Yeah, but these aren't really much more than a page long. And for me, reading one page is like eating one potato chip (I routinely read 300-500 page books in a matter of hours). I understand the desire to pace yourself, but I don't think anyone who peruses a TG fiction website is going to be so poor at reading that they have trouble remembering their place in something this short.
I also understand that it's possible to wait and read more at once. However, that's like knowing there's a potato chip bag in the room when you're hungry. Sure, there may only be a few chips in it, but...
Ultimately, it's your story, and you're the one who makes the choices. However, I don't see how posting two of these at once three times a week (or three twice a week) would strain your ability to keep up with the writing.
Your last paragraph
Your pace would have me posting six of my chapters a week. In two weeks I would be under the gun. No thanks.
This first week, I'm going to post six but after that, it will be three or four posts a week. I can keep up with that and maybe get ahead for the vacation I plan to take later this summer. I can write six to ten chapters a week, IF I get the time to do it.
I could post three segments in one post once a week but frankly, that wouldn't keep my interest up in the project. I'm doing it the way I'm doing it because I think it will work for me this way.
I have this plotted out for 30 to 40 chapters, and an ending. Fifteen to twenty-five thousand words. I read fast, too, I generally read two to six fiction and one or two non-fiction books a week. And that's not sitting around doing nothing but reading, that's keeping a book in my purse and pulling it out for 10 minutes here and 20 minutes there.
It takes me about an hour to write what I can read in a minute. The non-reciprocal nature of entropy, I guess.
I'm going to post on days that Kaleigh doesn't post a Marcie Donner chapter. I may skip an occasional Saturday. That way you have something to look forward to on most days when I'm not posting. :p
jijillian