9. Witnao Olugai Maniit

 
The boys trooped out of the closet with their heads wrapped in towels and more towels around their waists. "Leave the towels in the bathroom," Philomena ordered. "I told you, we would do this magic naked. We'd do it outside under the sky but the neighbors are too nosy."

"B-but," Willie stammered.

Dick noticed something right away. "Where are our clothes?" he pointed at the bed.

"I took them downstairs," said Phil, not lying. "Now take off those towels and put them in the hamper in the bathroom." She'd already noticed their hairless chests and pits, and she tried not to giggle while waiting as they went back through the closet and left the towels in the bath.

They came back out completely naked, holding their hands and arms awkwardly as if they couldn't quite make up their minds about what to cover.

"Put your hands up," Phil ordered. "I wanna see." They did, she looked. Like little naked worms, she thought. They hadn't got any bigger since she'd seen them before, if anything they looked smaller. They sure looked bigger in the pictures on the internet. She stifled giggles.

Willie and Dick wanted to run, they wanted to hide, they wished they had never agreed to shave, they wished that Philomena wouldn't make those noises. Mostly they wanted their balls back and wished they had never asked Phil for dates.

"Okay, sit on the floor," Phil finally told them.

Dick dropped to his knees and sat back on his heels. Willie sort of tripped himself and ended up sitting on his bare butt on the carpet, making an audible 'Oof!" when he landed. His hands went up and out at the same time and he nearly smacked Dick across the face.

"Watch it," said Dick, dodging.

"Sorry," said Willie. "But she's wearing a dress while we're naked. I don't think that's fair."

Philomena smiled. "You want to wear a dress, too?"

Dick and Willie both blushed. "No," said Willie. "That's not what I meant...."

"Don't worry," said Philomena. "I'll be naked, too, when we start the spell. In fact," she said, squatting then sitting as she pulled the Betty Boop tee over her head. "Let's start right now." She reached toward them, "put out your hands."

They each reached toward her with one hand and she grabbed the palm of each of their hands between her thumb and long finger. Without prompting, the boys held each other's other hand.

"I'm going to teach you the words to a magic spell. If you can say them just right, they should be able to transform you back to what you were before."

Willie nodded, Dick looked intrigued.

Phil closed her eyes and gave the boys' hands each a squeeze. "The first word is 'Witnao', this is the Universal Soul in Old High Persian. A very powerful word. Say it with me. 'Witnao'."

The boys repeated it, "Witnao."

Phil led them in several more repetitions. "More rough breathing on the 'W', you have to pronounce magic words correctly," she said. "Witnao. Witnao. Witnao."

"Witnao. Witnao. Witnao," the boys said. Willie came down on the rough breathing so hard he almost hacked up a loogie and Dick gave him one of those looks you give a friend who is about to make an ass of himself.

"Okay, I think you've got that one," said Phil. "The next word is 'Olugai.' Olugai is the name of the Spirit That Moves on the Deep, we're going to invoke him, too."

"What language is it from?" Dick asked.

"Uh, the Forgotten Tongue of Canaan, only a few powerful name words survive of that language," said Phil, managing not to smirk.

"Do we have to do rough breathing?" asked Willie.

"No, no. This one is easier to say. Just don't say 'Olujai' in the chant. That's the Ur-Finnish God of Wounded Animals. You only mention him in a spell if you're trying to do a mercy killing."

"Olugai," said Dick.

"Yes, Olugai," said Phil.

And Willie said, "Olugai," too.

"You've got that one, now the third one is hard again. It's 'Maniit', and that's a long vowel in the second syllable, 'Maniit'."

"Mannie-yet," said Willie.

"Not that long," protested Phil, "he won't know you're talking to him."

"Maniit," said Dick. "Who's he?"

"Oh, he's the Mongolistan version of the King of the Djinn, sort of, except they're not Djinn, they're Maniiti," said Phil, enjoying herself immensely. So much so, that she had to pause and compose herself to keep from breaking up laughing. She pulled her hands away from the boys and put them together in front of her and concentrated on getting her face straight and keeping it that way. "Om, on, ong, li, a, mey, non," she said in a singsong.

Willie began, "Om-on-ong," but she interrupted him.

"No, you don't say that part. That's part of the spell, I have to say that. You guys just keep invoking the spirits who'll make the spell work," said Phil.

They looked at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Just say their names. One after the other. Close your eyes," she took their hands again. "Start with 'Witnao,' he likes to be first."

"He does?" said Dick, intrigued by this detail.

"Just. Say. The. Names." Phil enunciated clearly, getting annoyed at the brick-thick geekiness of the boys. "Witnao!" she snapped.

"You forgot the rough breathing," said Willie.

Dick murmured, "Witnao," but didn't repeat it, confused by Willie.

"No, I didn't forget the rough breathing," said Phil. "Close your eyes!"

They closed their eyes.

"Say the names," Phil ordered them.

"Witnao," said Willie.

"Olugai," said Dick at the same time.

Phil put her hands on her head and tried not to scream. "You have to say the names together, at the same time!"

"But I don't know if I know how to say the third one right," protested Willie.

"It's Manit," said Phil, glaring at him.

"No," said Dick. "It's Maniit, with a long vowel, like in Japanese, kind of."

"Yes," said Phil. "You're right. It's Maniit. You guys are making me crazy."

"Manyet," said Willie.

"Maniit," said Dick.

"Maniit," said Phil.

"Maneet," said Willie.

"For Pete's sake, are you ...." Phil choked herself off before she gave the game away with her accusation.

"Maniit," said Dick.

"Okay, I got it," said Willie. "Maniit."

"By George, I think he's got it," said Dick in a fake British accent. "He's really got it!"

Willie and Phil both rolled their eyes.

She reached for their hands again. "Okay, now we can begin, ready?"

Dick didn't take her hand. "We can't start yet."

"Why not?" she almost whined.

"'Cause you said we all have to be naked and you still have your panties on," said Dick.

Willie nodded. "Yeah. Oh, good save, Dick. It probably wouldn't work at all if she had her panties on."

"Uh, what's the spell going to do, anyway?" asked Dick.

"Bring our balls back, I hope," said Willie.

Phil clenched her teeth, "It's going to undo the spell I did earlier, so you should both have your balls back and you can get the hell out of my house!"

"Oh, good," said Dick.

"Yeah," said Willie. "And we won't ask you for any more dates."

"Not even any figs," said Dick, smiling.

"Figs?" said Phil. "Who the fuck is talking about ...." She stopped, realizing she'd been had.

"He does that all the time," said Willie. "It's like a nervous habit, punning. It wouldn't be so bad if they were actually funny."

"Well, they're punny," said Dick.

"You keep it up, she's going to make our balls grow back on our faces, idiot," said Willie.

"What a good idea," said Phil through her clenched teeth.

"Don't give her any good ideas," said Dick to Willie.

Phil grabbed for their hands again but both of them avoided her grasp.

"Panties," said Willie, pointing.

Phil stood up, yanked down her floral nylon lace panties, stepped out of them and flung them where they landed on the computer monitor.

The boys both stared. They'd never seen a completely naked girl in person before, neither of them. Well, other than the odd baby girl niece or cousin, not a naked teenaged girl with a gingery bush, neatly trimmed for wearing a bikini.

Phil checked. Both boys stared but neither of them had a hard-on. "Thanks for that, at least," she said aloud. She flexed her hips one way then the other but nothing ventured, nothing grew. She snorted, amused.

She sat down and reached for their hands. They stopped trying to see what they'd never seen before and took her hands, also taking each other's hand on the other side.

"Close your eyes," she ordered.

They closed their eyes.

"Say the first name."

"Witnao," they both said.

"Second name."

"Olugai."

"Third."

"Maniit." They both got it right.

"Say them all again."

"Witnao. Olugai. Maniit," they said together.

"Keep saying them," she told them. "Over and over. I have to get my spirit calm enough to work the spell."

"Witnao. Olugai. Maniit," they said again and again, not pausing.

Phil sat quietly, her own eyes closed, listening.

"Olugai, Maniit, Witnao," said the boys, over and over.

She smiled.

"Oh, look, I'm a nitwit now," said the boys, again and again.

* * *

[next : Wearing Miss Daisy]