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Leila and I were talking last night, and we were discussing what would have happened if Jeff Foxworthy had been transgendered.
Here's some of what we came up with:
And now, without further ado, Ms. Jethrene Foxx, with another installment of "You might Be A Trans Person If..."
If you've ever given makeup advice to a woman, you might be a trans...
If your family didn't know your birth name until you were 27...
If you own a cigarette lighter, and you don't smoke...
If you can name 12 different shades of pink...
From memory...
Because you own a dress or blouse in each of those colors...
If you actually know what to do with cold cream...
If you go to Victoria's Secret to window shop...
And the ladies don't scream...
And you actually buy something...
For yourself...
If you own anything by Dolce & Gabbana...
Or Louis Vuitton...
Or Christian Dior...
If you actually know who any of these people are...
If you offer to do a woman's laundry...
In hopes of finding something YOU can wear...
If you think more about whether you left your makeup on than you do about whether you left the stove on...
If you buy a box of 128 Crayolas just because you own something of each color in the box...
If you watch Chick Flicks voluntarily...
Because you actually understand them...
And your life actually resembles one...
If someone accidentally refers to you by the wrong gender...
And you take the time to THANK THEM for the compliment...
If you've ever gone into the wrong pubic bathroom...
And no one noticed...
At all...
If you know who Christine Jorgensen was...
Or Calpernia Adams...
And wish you were either...
If you own more shoes than your spouse...
Or makeup...
Or perfume...
Or jewelry...
Or clothes...
If you've ever wanted to own a Miata...
Or a Porsche...
And it had to be PINK...
Or POWDER BLUE...
If working for Mary Kay sounds like your dream job...
Or Avon...
Or Tupperware...
If you know 10 ways to cook eggs...
But can't change the oil in your car...
Or the spark plugs...
Well' that's about it for now. I'll add more as they come to me...
*kisses*
Haylee V
Comments
I hate Pink!
I can change the oil in my car
I can do all sorts of stuff in my Workshop including rebuild engines, weld and turn to a 'tenth'.
but I do
have more skirts than trousers
have more 'heels' than mens shoes
Wear panties every day.
Go to bed in a nightdress
Yes, I gave my ex some makeup advice and got chewed out for doing so. What made it worse was that her mother said the same thing!!!!!
For every list there are exceptions
And the Engineer who came to change my electric meter was a woman.
Stereotypes are [you fill in the blank]
Oh, and did I say that I hate Pink!
Trans? Yes.
But as for your list, there's only a small handful of the things that do or ever will apply to me.
I'd provide a list more like this. You might be a trans person if....
Someone has ever used a gender pronoun that didn't match your physical sex because they saw the person inside, not the shell.
You have a hard time shopping for clothes because, depending on the section, you either feel wrong or criticized for doing so.
"Boys Don't Cry" made you cry, boy or not.
Just a few I'd put in that apply MtF or FtM.
Me? I'm a gamer and a geek and I figure tee shirts and knee-length or longer shorts will always be the majority of my wardrobe. Don't make me any less a girl than the pink-loving fashionistas, though. :)
Melanie E.
southern red neck voice
You just might be a trans person....
If you found some of that funny!
Miata??? like EWWWWW
the last two lines...have you be talking to dorothy?
yeah, well, your're still more girly than me, Jaci
people call me sir, whereas you cant pass as a boy.
welll
But ....
actually aside from oil or sparkplugs im not even sure you can change a tire.
Thanks
To everyone that has Liked, Loved, Read, or Commented. I actually am a transwoman (although heavily closeted right now--don't ask...) and enjoy being so. This was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, and in no way insulting. I know I used several stereotypes here, but it's just to prove how utterly ridiculous some stereotypes actually are. We are all unique--with our own tastes and talents. We are all different, yet eerily the same. For we are human...
*Kisses Always*
Haylee V
How about, "can't walk
How about, "can't walk barefoot because your feet hurt"