I've had several people over the past few months ask and comment about my story. As I've said before I've never tried writing a story before and other than some emotionally charged pieces I've shared on social media I still don't consider myself a writer, or at least a good one. Maybe its because I'm my own worst critic, who knows. I still don't see it and might not ever. As I'm wrapping up the first part of Robbie/Rebecca's journey I wanted to share the motivation, or the reasoning I felt this story was worth someone as untalented as myself to share.

My story, yes is fiction... Kind of... I have to explain that for the past couple of years I have been occasionally asked to come speak to several different support groups in my area. Mostly transgender support groups, but I've also talked to a few suicide survivor groups (unfortunately I did try, but at least I survived and now try to use my experience as positively as possible). I was invited early last year to go to one group, and it was there I met a young lady who was still struggling with her situation. I had heard about people who had severe AIS but had never met anyone, until her. We ended up talking for hours after the group as we share our own respective journeys with each other.

I was driving home when I remembered a wish/prayer that a certain little 12 year old boy started making every night after getting stuck in reversion therapy (guess the '80's version of conversion therapy). That if God(or whoever) would just make puberty turn me into a girl that my life would be perfect... It was a nieve wish, but hey I was only 12 and desperate... Over the years I had buried that memory deep within the recesses of my entire being. Talking with that young lady sparked that memory, and now that I'm, we'll just say older, I started to think would my life have really been perfect. Especially in that time and that place. It had been believed that had my body actually changed my parents would have been forced to deal with it and not send me to a pray it away quack.

During my conversation with this lady I found that while our story was so different, our fears... our emotions.... were almost identical. Over the next 3-4 months I couldn't stop thinking what would have really happened, and the constant what if's and maybe's had written this story out in my head and it had become very distracting, until I actually started writing..

I say this story is fictional, only because I don't know of anyone in 1987 in that location who was intersexed... The truth of the matter is that I took two separate individuals stories and meshed them into one. The setting, the time, within a year or two and I'm not saying which direction, and the people are all based off of real people throughout my life. I originally started writing it out to preserve my sanity, what little is actually left lol, but then started sharing...

Anyway I just wanted to let y'all know, I felt I've shared enough of the story so far I wanted to let you know what had driven it.

Much love and peace to you all,
Rebecca