So for those of you who have read any my fiction on here, you'd know that I have a very unique writing style. Lately I've been working on my story Time to Fly. I've been able to get a bit done each writing session I do but looking back on what I'm writing I've come to realize that I'm not writing the dialouge between characters to suit the ages of the respective characters. Now if all the characters were Adults I wouldn't be making this post. In fact the story revolves around a group of 5 year olds that take the main character under their wing and help them adjust. Now that's all fine and dandy but when I realized that I was having the characters speaking as if they were much older than they actually were I stopped writing because I felt like the story wouldn't be the same unless the dialouge suits the ages of the characters.
Now that bears the question. How simplistic do 5 year olds actually communicate? Before starting actual school most kids would have the slightest clue on what it actually means to say what they do.
I have 5 year old twin nieces so writing for kids that age should have been theoretically easy for me. It's turning into the exact opposite.
I'm reaching out to the author base here on BC, how would you write dialouge for multiple 5 year olds speaking to one another. How would you word such content to make it seem like the child talking is the age that is intended?
Comments
5 year olds
Watching a group of five year olds boys? They interact with few words and a lot of exclamations.
Nephew: Stop it! That's mine!
Kid 1: No!
Kid 2: No we were here first!
Nephew: Giveit back!
Kid 1: I'm playing.
Nephew: I'm telling!
Girls at 5 are a bit more advanced in their verbal communications skills.
Girl 1: I like your dolly, she's pretty.
Girl 2: Yours is pretty too! What's her name?
Girl 1: Molly, What's your dollys name?
Girl 2: She's Melanie.
Girl 1: Does your dolly want to play with my dolly?
Girl 2: Your dolly seems nice, Melanie do you want to play with Molly? She says yes.
Girl 1: Okay.
Hope this helps!
Leila
That's good dialogue
That puts my floundering attempt at advice to shame
Well shit, I guess it really CAN happen here..,
.
I cheated :)
It helps when you've got video. Camera phones are awesome!
Just be careful with Camera Phones
you might get the wrong sort of attention if you use them in the wrong place. I've seen people called 'Paedo's' for filming their grandkids in a playground.
Oh God I must sound really creepy there!
I don't film random children... I was reviewing footage I have of my nephew and some of his friends at his birthday party. And other events... My nephews (Yaaaay, i have two and they're so adorable) grow up quickly and I'm 400 miles away. It's hard not to miss them. Having gone from seeing them every day to every Christmas instead... I'll call up a video of them when I miss them terribly...
Show me some of the dialogue.
And I think I could doctor it down to at least eight years old, People say I wrote a fairly credible 8 year old
in my horror tale THE SILENCE OF THE NIGHT. But I honestly don't know how I did it, I just heard Mikey/Michelle in my head.
Five is younger than I've ever attempted; but I imagine when taking someone under their wing they wouldn't be discussing problems and possible solutions analytically, in the manner of adults or even older kids. There would probably be a somewhat unfocused and random quality to the dialogue, at the same time there's a certain literalness to the way things are discussed, not a lot of abstract notions or philosophy.
Like I say, it's easier for me to write it than to say how I keep all this in mind. But one thing I would strongly suggest is not trying to make it sound kid-like by using baby talk.
Does any of that help? Hope so...
~Veronica
Well shit, I guess it really CAN happen here..,
.
But don't get creepy ...
Two methods; one is active and real world, while the other is at home with your computer--
If you have a nearby mall or park where kids of that age range are playing, sit as close as you can and listen. Here's the tricky part: If you present male, have a female with you. They could be reading or "occasionally" chatting, but they validate a male's presence ... like he was dragged there against his will because she wanted to rest. If you present female, it should be less of a problem, but it's still better with a girlfriend along.
If you have your laptop or tablet, transcribe the comments from the children playing. Recording is ideal but can be dangerous. If you can't record/transcribe, you'll just have to trust your memory; listen long enough and you'll start to get a feel for how they communicate -- although Leila's example is a wonderful starting point, not only in its accuracy, but in the gender specifics of speech. Notice the sentence length, structure, and interaction. Boys state or command, girls share and inquire. Generally ...
High school teens? The mall is good, especially if you find a bench near teen stores (Abercrombie, Hollister, Claire's, etc.) Wander through H&M, if you have one. Go to see a local school's play and keep your ears open before and after.
In time you'll get a feeling for the general ebb & flow, word choices, slang, and so on. Here's another idea: Check out Amazon's YA bestsellers. You could browse your library or even use the "Look Inside" feature at Amazon's website. Read a few pages of Sarah Dessen, Jenny Han, Kasie West and you'll get Teen Speak. I haven't written for five-year-olds, but I would recommend that you research the bestselling children's fiction with the age range you want, and use the "Look Inside" (or see them at your library) to try to get that feel for their speech.
A personal word of advice: Avoid phonetically recreating immature sounds. In other words, please don't have a character saying, "I gah go poo". You might describe them hopping from one foot to another, squirming and (if a boy) holding themselves, but please, no baby talk. Children at five are already watching Sesame Street, Blue's Clues, Cailiou, Dora the Explorer ... because of Amazon/Netflix/Hulu and other streaming services, five-year-olds are exposed to much more complex language than "Me wanna tinkle".
Finally, a plug for Deborah Tannen, a good introduction to how people speak -- and she began by writing about gender differences in speech by studying tapes of children at play. Her most famous book is You Just Don't Understand; check out the Amazon blurb:
You Just Don't Understand, by Deborah Tannen
All of her books are valid and can be extremely helpful in your own everyday interactions with people:
Amazon's Deborah Tannen page
Karin
Try the Disney Channel
The Disney Channel has many TV Series with child characters. Perhaps you should watch some of the Disney Series for examples of dialog for "younger" characters.
Depends
Who is your narrator, and when is she telling the story?
I believe that if the narrator is an adult the dialogue should be that of an adult.
Even if your narrator is still young I think you make allowances. Children believe they are communicating just the same as adults. So, it is valid to have them speak in an approximation of an adult voice. Keep the vocabulary simple and don't have them negotiating complex schema.
To me, dialogue that is too immature slows down the reader's ability to understand the story. See my attempt at bridging this gap in http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/61287/fools-rush-day-i...
Good luck.
Jill
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Television and Movies
I remember when The Center universe was going strong and someone asked for advice about writing teenagers.
The best solution is to watch as much television and movies geared toward that age group. For teenagers its easy because The CW or any other channel that has shows geared towards teens help. They might be a bit overdramatized but the dialogue and clothes is pretty spot on. With little kids, I'd suggest watching shows on Disney Channel or Nick. Even reading other stories helps too.
:)