Eden's Reality

Synopsis: Eden meets her Grandmother.

NOTE: This chapter's end has been re-written, removing the entire "zzt' section.
Sorry for the edit >.<

Chapter 11

I snuggled into Alexis for almost ten minutes, too numb from crying to really have anything of substance to say. That was fine though, as the silence was so comforting that I almost couldn’t believe it. I’d opened up to her, not completely, but enough to crack open the doors inside of my heart and let some of her light inside. And it felt so, so good…

Alexis didn’t say anything either, just held me and rubbed my back every now and then. I hoped this was as comforting for her as it was for me, but I wasn’t so sure. She’d kissed me and had probably wanted to continue, but I’d ruined it by bursting into tears and telling her about the worst experience of my life. I can’t imagine it had been very pleasant for her, now that I thought about it.

‘Alexis…’ I said and looked up at her. She smiled and looked down at me, wiping away the last of my tears.

‘Hi.’ She rubbed the top of my head and I returned her smile. ‘We need to leave in about five minutes so we should get going.’

I nodded and slowly let go of her waist. ‘I have to finish getting dressed.’

‘I’ll go find a hat for you. And some shoes.’ She let go of me as well and went to stand up, but dropped back down with a blush. ‘Are we…okay? I hope it wasn’t too weird that I kissed you.’

‘No, it was nice!’ I said quickly, grabbing the white shirt that I’d picked out from before. ‘I liked it. Did you?’

‘I did.’ She nodded slowly, her eyes shining.

I blushed and hugged the shirt to my chest. ‘You…you said that you loved me…’

‘I did, and I do.’ She smiled, but seemed a bit embarrassed. ‘I wasn’t sure if I did or not for so long, but when you told me you loved me last night it made me so happy, happier than I think I’d ever been, and I knew…I knew right then that I loved you. I didn’t expect it, I’ve never been attracted to a boy before but I couldn’t deny how I felt. I think…’ She swallowed and caressed the side of my face, sending a warm thrill through me. ‘I think you’ve always been a girl, on the inside, and that’s why I was able to fall in love with you. And now that you’re a girl I couldn’t hold myself back, I had to do something so…I did.’

She turned even redder and I digested what she’d said for a moment. Then blinked.

‘Wait. Does that mean you’re a lesbian?’

‘Yes.’ she said after a moment. ‘I never brought it up because it didn’t seem all that important to our relationship, but maybe I should have, I don’t know. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be sorry! I don’t mind.’

‘I didn’t think you would.’ She beamed and then kissed me on the forehead, making me giggle and blush. Her lips were so soft and wet, like a puppy’s nose. ‘Can I ask…do you love me?’

‘Of course I love you!’ I gasped. ‘You know that.’

‘I know, but I meant in a…non-sisterly way.’ She waved her hands about. ‘You know?’

I thought about that for a moment. ‘I really liked you kissing me. It made me really warm and happy and…and excited somehow. And I like touching your body and feeling it against mine too! Is that, you know? Sex love?’

Alexis stared at me and then exploded into laughter ‘Sex love? What the hell is that?’

‘Wh-what!’ my face burned at she continued to laugh uproariously. ‘Isn’t that what you were talking about?’

‘Yeah, but don’t call it sex love!’ She shivered through her laughter. ‘That sounds so creepy.’

‘What else am I supposed to call it then?’

‘I don’t know. How about physical attraction? Sexual attraction. Romantically interested? Intima-’

‘Ah! Why didn’t you just say those things then instead of saying “you know”?’ I snapped. ‘You confused me and made me think of weird things!’

‘I did not make you think of sex love.’ Alexis laughed one last time and let out an amused breath. ‘Jesus. Sex love. You’re one odd little kitten, Eden.’

I brightened up immediately and place my hands on my head. ‘Meow!’

‘Mmmm. Meow.’ She purred and kissed me on the forehead again. She looked like she was going to kiss me on the lips again but to my disappointment she shook herself and jumped off the bed. ‘We can’t get distracted, we need to hurry.’

‘Do we have to leave so soon?’ I asked, regretfully getting off of the bed as well. ‘I was only going to Sanders so early to meet Reece at the entrance, but I can’t do that anymore. He’s going to be with his parents and I can’t let them see me like this.’

‘I know, but I was thinking if we got there that early we might be able to find Julia and speak to her before things get too busy.’ Alexis said, rushing to the doorway. ‘Put on your shirt and socks, then meet me in the entrance hall!’

I nodded and watched as she left the room, the reality of my situation dawning on me again. I’d almost forgotten that I was a girl now, so lost had I been in Alexis’s warmth. I wished I could crawl back on the bed with her and lose myself with her again. It had been so nice…

And maybe…maybe she’d kiss me again…

I blushed at that and a warm thrill shot through me, making me giggle. Oh my god! Alexis had kissed me! And she loved me, in a romantic way! Were we dating now? We had to be, right? People who kissed each other were definitely dating!

Ah! She’d kissed me! We were dating! AHH!

I squealed excitedly bounced around the room, lost in the memory of Alexis leaning over me. She had looked so beautiful, and her lips and been so soft and warm…and her tongue…when she’d…she’d…

The burning warmth that I now knew to be arousal flooded through me and I gasped, sitting down on the bed and pushing my legs together. I didn’t know if I liked this feeling or not. It was kind of like being hungry, but instead of just my stomach it was my entire body, tingling with excitement and…lust. I wanted to be touched, and kissed and…

Gah! What the hell was I doing? I was supposed to be getting changed, not thinking about…s-sex stuff! Crap!

I shook myself and then put on the white shirt from before, finding that it was quite long and loose. It came down to just past my hips and thankfully didn’t emphasize the new curviness of my body. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed that it looked quite good with the black pants and I smiled briefly, then grabbed a pair of black socks and slipped them on.

Just as I was speeding out of the room I remembered the money dad had given me last night, and the photo. I ran over to my discarded pair of jeans and checked for the money first, and when I found it I gasped. I’d originally thought that there’d been about two hundred but as I counted the notes I found that dad had given me four hundred dollars! W-what the hell…

This was way more money than I’d ever seen in my entire life. What on earth was I supposed to do with this? Had he been saving it up to give to me, or had he made a mistake and given me way more than he intended to? He’d been pretty upset when he’d handed me the notes…but most people didn’t carry around that much money in their wallets, did they? Why did he have so much spare money on him? He was always complaining about how badly the farm was doing lately and how he couldn’t afford to hire a farmhand, buy any new livestock or repair parts of the house. Surely four hundred dollars could help with that stuff, right? Why…

Ugh. Whatever! I didn’t understand finances enough to be able to come to a proper conclusion, and now wasn’t the time for it anyway. I slipped the notes into the back pocket of the pants, which had a small zipper on it to keep them secure, and then put the photo in after them. I was tempted to look at it but resisted the urge, knowing that it’d only upset me. I took Yani’s necklace off my wrist and put it into my back pocket as well, not really knowing any better place for it.

I quickly glanced around the room for anything else I might have forgotten about and then rushed off to the entrance hall. I arrived just as Alexis was hurrying down the stairs. I noticed that she’d removed her black leggings, probably because of the heat, and was wearing a pair of white sneakers. She was holding a large black flat-cap, one of those hats that had a kind of baggy head section and a small brim. I’d seen her mum wearing it every now and then and it definitely seemed suitable for disguising my identity with.

‘I grabbed those shoes from Nyoko’s room.’ she said as she came down the stairs, pointing past me to the door. ‘If they don’t fit then we might have to buy some on the way there. Your old ones won’t fit you either, will they?’

I turned to look to where she was pointing and saw a pair of brown sneakers next to the door. ‘No. if Nyoko’s don’t fit then there’s no way mine would now.’

I quickly tried them on and to my relief they fit decently enough. They were a bit loose but not enough that they’d come off just from walking or jogging. I might have some trouble if I had to start running but I couldn’t imagine that I’d need to.

‘Good!’ Alexis smiled as she came over from the stairs. ‘I hoped they might fit, Nyoko has pretty small feet. Now here, stand still.’

I did so and she pushed my hair behind my ears, and then carefully put the hat onto my head. It was so large that it initially slipped past my ears and covered my eyes, but Alexis quickly pulled it back up with a laugh as I spluttered unhappily. I moved it around a bit to make it comfortable but it was too big and wouldn’t stay still on the top of my head, so I ended up having to keep it angled down over the left side of my face. Some of my vision was obscured but I could see well enough to safely move around.

‘What do you think?’ I asked Alexis, putting my hands on my hips and staring up at her. ‘Can you tell that I’m a girl?’

She looked at me for a moment and then smiled tightly. ‘…yeah, you can. It actually looks really cute like that. Very stylish.’

‘It’s not supposed to be stylish.’ I muttered and turned it to the front again, where it drooped over my face. ‘Gah! Why is this hat so weird!’
‘It’s not weird, just too big.’ Alexis said as she slipped it back to the side. ‘And I don’t think it should matter too much, you’ll be fine if you keep your head down and don’t look at anyone. That was what you were planning on doing anyway, yeah?’

‘It was…’ I nodded, holding onto the hat with both hands. I definitely felt more secure wearing it but I felt like it was more stylistic than it was feature-obscuring. ‘Do you think if I just keep my head down I won’t draw attention to myself, even in the boy’s dorm?

She scratched her head and thought about that for a moment. ‘I don’t really know, to be honest. Even in those clothes you can still see how small and skinny you are, and your hair’s really silky and quite long for a boys. The hat does help though, so I think if you just keep your head down and stay in your dorm room all night it should be fine.’

‘What about the introduction meeting assembly thing today? Should I go to that?’

‘Oh! Yes, you have to go to that.’ She said intently. ‘It’s really important that you don’t miss it, because that’s when we’ll meet all the staff and go through the rules and dorm activities. We’re going to have dinner right after too, along with the staff, so that might be a good chance to talk to Julia.’

I squirmed uneasily at that. There were close to a hundred students living in the dorms, fifty boys and fifty girls separated into four huge dorm houses. How was I supposed to be around so many people and hide the fact that I was a girl from them? And all of the staff as well, what if they didn’t believe that I was who I said I was? My student ID had a picture of me from when it was taken and I didn’t look like that anymore, not really. I didn’t even have it on me at the moment, it was in my suitcase with the Alexis’s parents at the moment.

Ah! Alexis’ parents! I was going to have to avoid them today, and after everything they’d done for me that felt like such a mean thing to do. I wasn’t even going to be able to thank them, and worse, by deliberately avoiding them I’d seem ungrateful! Oh no…

‘Eden?’ Alexis asked and I realised she’d said something else but I hadn’t registered it. I looked up and her and smiled, not wanting to burden her with my problems any more than I already had. ‘We need to go. Do you have everything you need?’

‘I think so.’ I said and looked warily at the door, my heart beginning to beat faster. Once I went outside I wouldn’t be safe anymore, not like I was in here. There were going to be so many people around, not just at Sanders but on the way there too. And I’d never caught a train without mum before. What was I going to do if a stranger sat next to me? A male stranger! What if he was like Jon? What if he tried to talk to me? Or t-t-touc-

‘Uhm!’ I flinched and clutched at the hat. ‘You’re sure that I’ll look like a boy if I just keep my head down and don’t say anything? Nobody will pay me any attention and try to talk to me or…or hurt me? Even on the train? What happens if someone figures out that I’m a girl? What do I do then? What am I supposed to say? Should I pretend I really am a girl or tell them I’m a boy? Will they believe me and go away? Or-’

‘It’ll be okay.’ Alexis put her hands on my shaking shoulders and gently squeezed them. ‘I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I’m going to be by your side all the way to Sanders, and when we get there Reece will be with you when I can’t be. It’s going to be okay, Eden. Don’t worry. We’ll protect you, just like we’ve always done. I promise.’

I grimaced and pulled down on the hat, believing her but not really feeling much better. ‘Yeah but…what if some-’

‘Eden.’ Alexis swept me up into a hug, actually lifting me off the ground so that our chests squashed together. I gasped and hugged her back, completely forgetting what I’d been about to say. Her chest was so soft and squishy, but firm and…ah…uhm…

My mind went blank for a moment, lost in the feeling of her chest against mine. And my legs, wrapped around her waist…

A new sensation appeared in my abdomen and I impulsively pulled myself harder against her, trying to…to…I don’t know…

Something…I needed to feel her more, somehow. M-

‘I’ll look after you.’ she said softly, her breath brushing against my nose and making it twitch curiously. ‘You trust me, right?’

‘Y-yes!’ I nodded, blushing as I remembered what had happened the last time she’d asked me that. I expected her to kiss me again but to my extreme disappointment she carefully put me back on the ground and grabbed my hand. ‘Huh?’

She squeezed my hand and grinned. ‘Let’s go!’

‘O-okay!’ I said as she walked to the door, gently pulling along after her. I tottered after her, my mind still a fuzzy mess of warmth and lust. My heart was thumping through my chest and I felt far warmer than I had before, almost to the point of burning.

Augh…

Why couldn’t we have just stayed at her place all day? I needed...

I needed more...