Author's Note:Thank you everyone that is following my story, the feedback is greatly appreciated. Due to the business that has been my life this November it has taken me longer to get this one finished. Due to the next month looking just as busy this will be the last chapter of Robbie's Revelation in 2016, will start it back up once we all ring in the new year. Wishing you all much love and peace in the upcoming holiday season and the New Year. ~Rebecca

Waking up this Monday morning it was extremely difficult to put on my Robbie disguise, that is what it was now, a disguise. The boy that I was pretending to be, was a fake and after what had happened last Friday night, I hated feeling like a fake. It just wasn’t time yet so I grimaced as I put on the compression vest and my glasses, on top of putting the gel in my hair to keep it lying down and hiding the length. Even though I didn't say anything during breakfast both Mom and Pop reassured me that it wasn't much longer, I knew they could feel my anxiety through my façade.

I was glad to see Jen when I walked into AP Biology, she smiled when she saw me. “Morning. Have you talked to Alicia yet?” I asked.

“Morning and no I haven’t seen her yet, I guess we will see her at lunch I hope.” She replied. We both talked about schoolwork before class started, due to what had happened we didn’t have our normal study group so we weren’t as prepared like we normally were. Thankfully there was no pop quizzes today. After class, she just told me she’d keep a look out for Alicia and that she would see me at lunch. I spent the rest of the morning walking around in a daze, worried about Alicia and IF she had spoken to anyone about me.

By the time lunch finally rolled around, I felt pretty confident that she hadn’t spoken to anyone, after all no one jumped out yelling “You’re really a girl!!”. Not that I expected that exactly, actually I had no idea what to expect, I was just on edge for something to happen. Even though I didn’t think she had said anything, I was still very nervous about seeing her.

When I first sat down with the group Alicia wasn't there yet, but everyone else was. As soon as I sat next to Jen, Holly started giving me a hard time about her party.

“How do you know I wasn’t there? I mean everyone was in costume.” I teased her. She just glared at me for a moment.

“Because I would have seen you, I knew everyone in costume there.” She said assuredly. I just shrugged at her.

“Ok if you say so, by the way you made one hell of a good-looking Elvira.” I smirked, then proceeded to compliment the others on their costumes.

Glaring at Jen, Holly said, “You told him about the party, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t tell him anything at all, I promise.” She said before giving me a look to drop it. I just nodded. A very large part of me wanted to tell the group that I was the one in the Supergirl outfit, but I knew I couldn’t just yet. Then Alicia sat down across the table from me without even glancing in my direction.

Even though I tried to drop the conversation, especially since Alicia was there, the other girls kept quizzing me how did I know so much about the party. I noticed Alicia glaring at me at that point and all I wanted to do was shrink under the table and hide. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her any more than I already have, the girls just wouldn’t stop though.

Finally, I just said, “You’re right, I wasn't there. I was just yanking your chain is all Holly.” I tried to look apologetically at Alicia, but she wasn’t having it.

Glaring at me Alicia said, “Actually he was there… I saw him… I can’t believe none of you noticed…”

“Alicia…” I started to apologize, but stopped. I definitely didn’t want to get into this in front of the group.

Looking really angry Alicia started to get up from the table and said venomously at me, “I have to go, I can’t sit here right now.”

The rest of the girls looked at me confused as to what was going on. I looked at Jen and she was staring at me worried, unsure as what to do. I just couldn't let Alicia leave like that, so I asked Jen if she could take care of my food tray and grabbed my stuff and followed Alicia. I finally caught up with her in the breezeway by the gym.

“Alicia, wait up!” I shouted out at her. When she stopped and turned to look at me, I could see her eyes were tearing up. That look of sadness made me want to crawl under a rock and just disappear. I couldn’t though, I had caused this to someone I really did care about. I had to try to make it right.

“What do you want?” She asked, her voice tinged with anger.

“What do I want? I want to talk, to see if we can find a way past this, please. I don’t want you to keep being angry at me” I say.

“Well it’s too late for that. What did you expect? That I would be okay with this?!” She blurted out.

“No I didn’t expect you to be okay with this, but I didn’t plan for everything to happen like it did either. I had planned to tell you all before the end of the school year...I never thought for a second that what happened would have ever happened” I said, starting to get slightly angry as well.

“Well it happened!! If you didn’t want to hurt me then why didn’t you just keep your mouth shut?” She asked.

“Why?! Because the longer I didn’t tell you the more you would have been hurt… I couldn’t let that happen anymore, I had to tell you. I should have told you that first night, I tried to… I’m sorry if I was scared! Even if you’re mad at me though, you can’t walk away from your friends as well.” I told her, anger evident on my voice now.

“I’m not! I was only walking away from you! You lied to me, to everybody!” She fumed.

“I know… I have been… Trust me, I’ve been lying to myself for much longer… I refused to believe what had happened to me… I couldn’t face the truth…” I managed to stammer.

“Don’t start trying to get pity from me now, not after what you did to me!” She glared.

“Did to you? I didn’t do anything to you but try to be a friend, and that’s it!” I said with my anger returning. “You can just stop this right now!! You can quit acting like you were the only one hurt with this!”

“What do you mean I wasn’t the only one hurt? I find out I fell for and kissed a girl!!” She started before I interrupted her.

“Well you weren't the only one that fell for another girl! Except I knew better! I knew what I was and knew it wouldn’t work! It happened anyway though…” I said, looking at her sadly.

“Wait… You mean that you… You like girls?” She asked noticeably taken back some.

“I don’t know, I really don’t… I do know I liked you though…” I tell her, feeling tears forming in my eyes. Alicia looked to be at a loss of words. She no longer looked angry at least, maybe stunned and confused though. I continued, “At least the person you fell for did their best to keep from hurting your feelings, that person told you they couldn’t be more than friends. When it got too far that person told you the truth… Even if it did hurt… Because I cared about you falling even harder if I let it continue… I cared… Then the person I fell for called me an it… A freaking IT!!!”

Clearly stunned Alicia says, “Robbie… I… I’m sorry I was angry… I didn’t mean it…”

“You know what? It doesn't freaking matter anymore… You don’t want to sit with me? That’s fine! You don’t have to anymore… Jen’s idea of me making friends so I would have more than just her once it all came out was a daydream anyway… You just proved that… I won’t be sitting there anymore… They only just tolerate me anyway, why don’t you go ahead and tell them the truth… That way you all can joke about the IT!!” I say angrily.

“Robbie I wouldn’t… I mean they wouldn’t do that… They don’t just tolerate you, they really do like you…” She tells me, a lot of her anger had burned off at this point. Sadly, mine had just hit the boiling point.

“Oh... They like me?! So, that’s supposed to be better? You actually think they will respond better than you? Someone who supposedly loved me? Thank you for shedding the light on how people are truly going to react!! I was better off before… This is why I refused to let people get close to me… Being alone is better than feeling… than feeling like this… Alicia… You and your friends have a nice life, I’m done… I won’t bother you all anymore…” I say feeling very distraught... Before Alicia can respond I turn and head to the restroom before the dam breaks and I totally loose it. I don’t even look back.

Driving Jen home from school she tried to find out how it went with Alicia. I didn’t go into details, I just told her that hopefully Alicia can finally get over it and move on. She tried a few more times to get more out of me, but finally stopped as my answers were getting more and more brief. She did try to get me to come in so we could talk, but I declined saying I really needed a long run to burn off some steam. With a sad look on her face, she told me she would see me tomorrow before I drove off to get changed to go on my run.

When Paul came out of his dorm he found me leaned against his mustang, and since it was a really warm day he found me wearing my short biking shorts, and a form fitting tank top that didn’t hide my sports bra at all. As soon as he saw me he burst out in a huge grin.

“Hey there slo-poke, it’s about time you showed up.” I said to him matching his grin.

“Are you trying to make all the guys jealous of me or something? What are you doing here? I thought we’d usually meet up on the run. Not that I am complaining in the least.” He said, still grinning.

“Hey, you’re the one that said running with company is better.” I said, then my smile started to fade, so I continued, “Besides after today… I could really use a friend… Hey don’t worry though, there will be no meltdowns today, I promise.” His eyebrows kind of furrowed in concern.

“Well I’m glad you’re here then. I’m also glad you consider me a friend… All I’m really worried about though… Are you going to be trying to set any land speed records today? I don’t think my legs could handle that again this soon.” He said, smiling at the last bit. I couldn’t help but laugh, it felt really good to laugh.

“Haha! No, no land speed records today, I promise.” I giggled at him. We both stretched for a few minutes and started our run.

We ran one of our regular loops, which took us about an hour and twenty minutes at a good but more relaxed pace than our last run. We continued to joke and make small talk, and a few times we tried to bump each other off the course. It was something I needed desperately to brighten my mood after what had happened at lunch today. Walking back to his dorm for our cool down period Paul told me his dad put money in his account today for his starter and if I could take him to get it one day this week.

“Why don’t we do it now? I don’t have any other plans.” I told him.

“You don’t mind? I’d really appreciate it.” He told me. Then he also remembered something else so added, “I told Dad about you and how you were going to help me fix my starter. He really sounded impressed with you, and he gave me some extra money to take you to dinner. You want to kill two birds with one stone? Please don’t say no, we don’t want to offend Dad.” He said that last bit grinning ear to ear.

“I guess we can’t then. I have a change of clothes in my car. You go get changed and I’ll get the car and change here in the ladies’ restroom in the common area, okay?” I suggested.

“Deal, I’ll meet you down there as soon as I’m ready.” He told me.

I quickly headed to my car and drove back to his dorm. As I walked in with my backpack with my clothes in it, I immediately noticed every set of eyes in the common room right on me. Unlike when I was with Paul I suddenly felt very self-conscious about what I was wearing. I rushed into the restroom to get changed.

My change of clothes were nothing but a pair of jeans and a knit pullover v neck, but once changed I really admired the way it fit. It wasn’t tight but it wasn’t baggy enough to hide my curves. Looking at myself in the mirror I couldn’t help but be thankful that Jen insisted in having a basic makeup kit in my backpack, I lightly did my eyes and lips and ended up with a casual flirty look. All of a sudden I realized that I was just going to eat with Paul, a friend… Why was I so concerned about how I looked. Trying to push those thoughts out of my head I headed out into the common room.

I found Paul already there and waiting for me, when he noticed me the look of pleased surprised he had made me giggle. I tried to ignore all the other eyes staring at me as we headed out of the dorm.

Once outside he grinned and said, “Well it took you a bit longer to get ready, but trust me I’m not going to complain. I haven’t ever seen you in anything but your running gear, you look amazing.”

I couldn’t help but blush at his compliment, but it did make me slightly uncomfortable. I softly said “Paul thank you, but please don’t be getting any ideas okay. Just friends remember?”

“Yeah of course I remember.” He said looking confused, then it hit him. “Rebecca, I’m sorry you thought I was… I mean… Look can’t a friend give another friend a compliment?”

“Yeah I guess so. I’m sorry I’m so… umm… complicated I guess would be the best term.” I told him smiling softly.

“Hey, you’re actually pretty interesting, and you’re not the least bit boring. I can live with complicated.” He said right as he bumped my hip almost knocking me off the sidewalk.

Laughing and hip bumping him back, I said “Careful, you might not want to start something you can’t win.” At that moment, we arrived at my car, as I unlocked the passenger door for him I just looked at him and smiled softly and said, “Paul, seriously thank you. For like everything the past few days.”

He smiled and leaned over and gave me a hug, which I gladly returned. I noticed the Robbie part of me that still remained was no longer fussing at the contact with Paul. I was lost in my thought when I heard Paul whisper, “That’s what friends are for.” I ended up squeezing him a bit harder then he surprised me as he softly kissed me on the cheek when he let go. I immediately felt a bit flushed and put my hand over the cheek he kissed. Smiling he just said, “Don’t look so surprised, remember you started that.” I just smiled and got in the car.

We made a quick trip to AutoZone to get his starter, which caused me to laugh hard enough I almost wet myself. I never really shopped there due to the problem I had trying to get parts for the old VW there, so I wasn’t worried in the least of being recognized. When we went to the counter the guy asked Paul what he needed, you could see by the look on his face his mind just blanked out. I immediately started laughing, then told the guy exactly what he needed, and what car and engine combo it was for. Paul just nodded and the guy behind the counter had the most surprised look on his face, right up until he started laughing. I was still giggling when we got back in the car, and completely lost it when Paul just uttered, “Nope definitely not boring.”

He let me decide where I wanted to eat, so I picked my favorite Mexican restaurant, JC Garcia’s. They had the best salsa and menu in town, and in my self-imposed exile it had been a really long time since I’d eaten there. Shortly after we sat down Paul started quizzing me on Star Wars, the fact I quoted it the day his starter died was bugging him. Instead of being offended, I knew that I was an enigma to him. I mean I was a decent car mechanic, self-described geek, Star War’s junkie, and those were just the thing he knew about. We were in the middle of our conversation and eating the incredible salsa and chips when I heard a very familiar voice that made my blood run cold.

“I know he’s here, that piece of shit car of his is outside, c’mon keep an eye out for him.”

Glancing up I saw who the voice belonged to and I was right, it was one of the Chris’ from school and right there with him was the other one and both of their dates. I mean these assholes even date together? That’s just beyond creepy.

“Rebecca, what's wrong? Who are those guys”, Paul asked. He noticed my immediate change in demeanor and saw me physically cringe. He started looking really angry.

“Just two guys from school that have made my life a living hell for years.”, I tell him. I’m trying not to sink below the table and hide, but that is what I want to do. I can feel my pulse start racing and my hands start beginning to shake.

“What do they do? You better not tell me they’ve tried to feel you up or worse…” Paul said, anger clearly in his voice.

“Paul, no its nothing like that. They are just bullies and always try to fight people they know they can beat up together.” I tell him.

“What kind of assholes try to beat up a girl? I’m going to...” He says starting to get out of his chair. I quickly grab his arm and get him to sit back down.

“Paul stop okay, they aren’t going to do anything to me okay. I highly doubt they will recognize me.” I tell him, immediately though I realize what I said and the confusion in Paul’s face tells me I just slipped up.

“Rebecca… Why won’t they recognize you? You’ve said they’ve messed with you for years. How could they not?” He said, I couldn’t tell if he was that confused or starting to get upset.

“Damn, damn, DAMN!!” I exclaim. Looking at Paul's face and since my issue with Alicia I had started paying attention to our relationship more. I had started feeling that he was wanting more than just a friendship. I couldn’t let it continue like it did with Alicia. I owed it to Paul to let him know, especially after he had been there for me like he had been.

“Paul… I think it’s time you knew my big secret… Just promise that you won’t get upset in here, if you want afterwards I’ll drive you home and you’ll never see me again.” I say softly.

Curiosity obviously got the best of him and he promised. So, I pulled out the medical document my parents had me put in my backpack once I started driving around as Rebecca. In case I got stopped the letter explained my situation. Before I handed it to him to read, I told him everything. Including what had happened with Alicia, and why I had insisted we only be friends. Once I was done telling him, I showed him the letter as proof. While he read the document several times, I just sat there wiping tears that kept forming in my eyes. I had lost Alicia, and by now probably the entire group from the lunch table except of course Jen.

Now here I am about to lose Paul, I suddenly realized just how important he had become to me. Even if he was annoying at times, and a bit of a dork, he was a really good guy. Someone I wanted to continue being friends with, did I want more from him? I honestly didn’t know, but I really wanted Paul to stay in my life.

After what seemed like an eternity he looked at me in disbelief. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or what, I’d never seen this expression on his face. He just sat and stared at me for the longest time, the whole while I felt like my world was quickly falling down around me.

 
 
To Be Continued...