Take Three Girls Part 10

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Take Three Girls

Take Three Girls Part 10

Take Three Girls. This is about 2 girls and one woman (myself) and their very different route to become the women they knew they should be. It was going to be called Take Two Girls, but an on line friend (she knows who she is) and the girls bullied me into the name change. Some poetic licence has been used to help the flow of the story but not very much.

This part deals exclusively with the 18 hours or so after Kate is released from police custody – it was at the time a harrowing experience and for me very hard to write.

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I settled down on the floor saying to Kate, “Pass the waste bin and lay across my knee so I can get rid of that gunk on your face.”
She did what I asked and I stroked her hair, “Kate! What the hell have you done to your hair?” It felt like straw! “I put some hairspray on t’stop it going all ower’t place.” Was the reply I sighed and shook my head as I said, “Some? More like a full can.” “Mebbe” was the response from her.

I started removing the makeup from her. Kate I asked somewhat tentatively, “If someone had’ve stopped to pick you up what would you have done – you don’t really have the right equipment?”
“Dunno” came the short reply. “How much would you have charged?” “Dunno a fiver Mebbe.” Was the answer to this question.

I heaved a big sigh telling her, “You didn’t think this through – did you.’ She was quiet while I carried on cleaning her face. Finally I removed all traces of the make up and her pretty face was revealed. “There” I said cheerfully “my pretty Kate is back!”
Kate smiled uncertainly and asked in a quivering voice, “Am I honestly pretty. HE says I’m PIG UGLY!”
I sighed again reassuring her, “Katie love you are truly pretty your dad’s being a total asshole; he’s saying that to make you feel bad about yourself.”
She thought about this for a while whilst I got the packet of moist facial scrubs open.
“Honest?” Katie suddenly said looking up at me.
I made a quick decision and said, “Katie I promise you that I’ll never lie to you” she was about to speak but I carried on, “As long as you never pull a stunt like this again – promise!”

Her vivid green eyes studied me solemnly she gave a shudder then replied, “But I might need money to get to be a girl and HE’s said it would be over his dead body.”
I muttered, “That can be arranged!” “Aunty Avril you don’t mean that!” She rebuked me. I smiled ruefully and told her “Just thinking out loud sweetheart.”

“Now what about you promising me?” She regarded me again then nodded “Ok Aunt Av I promise I’ll never do anything like that again ------- but.” “No but’s young lady” I said, “it’s a yes or no so what’s it going to be?”
In a quiet voice she said, “Ok aunt Av I promise,” she gave a shudder and carried on, “I never want to be locked up again!
That was proper scary!” I offered a silent thanks to the desk sergeant his plan seemed to have worked.

I cleansed her face then applied moisturiser, glancing at the clock it was 5am. I would have to tell someone where she was but who – Carl that’s who! He was the only person I could think of.

I reached for my handbag and phone. “Who ya calling” came the suspicious question. “Your Carl I have to tell someone where you are.” She gave me an old fashioned look as I rang Carl.
A somewhat pissed off sounding Carl answered but when I explained why I was calling he mellowed and promised to tell his mum.
He told me, “When I see our Kate I’ll give her a piece of my mind!” I snapped at him, “You’ll do no such thing – understand me!”
There was silence finally he said, “OK Avril if that’s what you want.” “That’s what I want,” I confirmed.
He sighed then caught me by surprise saying “Come for lunch with me on Saturday?” Without thinking I answered “OK” then hung up.

We sat curled up on the floor surrounded by my dogs “Kate” I said, “Shall we wash your hair then we can get some sleep.”
Kate opened her eyes looking at me I could see that she was deciding something weighing up the pro’s and con’s finally she had made her mind up.

“Aunty Av if I show you something; promise me you won’t be mad.” While I thought about this she moved to snuggle up to me I automatically put my arm around her so she could snuggle into me.

I had a feeling that I was going to see what Tina had told me about so I said, “Kate I’ve been to the police station gone without sleep and cleaned your face and so far I’ve not got mad at you – so if you show me something I promise I won’t get mad at you.”
She looked at me with those vivid green eyes full of doubt - and yes fear. “Kate” I prompted.

She lay still for a moment then pulled up the sleeve of her jumper exposing a lattice of cuts!
She had been self harming! I was devastated absolutely devastated. As my tears started to flow I simply asked, “Why Kate where have we gone wrong that you feel the need to do this!” I was simply crying my tears fell across the scarring.

Kate looked anguished. I took hold of her arm and kissed the fine scars tasting the salt of my tears and dropping more tears onto her arm. All I could say was, “Katie oh Katie I’m so very, very sorry.”

Kate finally spoke, “Don’t cry like this Aunty Av it’s me that to blame I done it you’ve done nothing. Please stop crying I sorry I’m so very sorry.”
I was still holding her arm then I asked, “And the other arm?” Slowly she disentangled herself from me and rolled up her other sleeve.
Her left arm was the same as her right.
My tears simply flowed. I have never cried like that ever before. Kate put her arms around me and hugged me to her comforting me I was distraught I had really let her down.

“Please Aunty Av please stop crying I’m sorry so very sorry I’d never hurt you I love you!” She sobbed. My head buried into her slender shoulder I mumbled, “If you really loved me you wouldn’t do this to yourself.” I pulled away and looked her in the eyes saying, “If you really love someone you don’t do things like this to yourself! – Oh Kate I just don’t know what to do!”

By now we were both sobbing our eye’s out. I pulled myself together and told her, “Let’s get your hair washed and get some sleep – things may seem different after some sleep Ok?”
In a small voice she asked, “Can I sleep with you?” She looked so fragile so lost my heart went out to her.
I gathered her up in my arms kissed the top of her head then remembered the state of her hair, “Oh God that’s horrible!” I exclaimed, “Wot’s horrible?” “Your hair come on lets get it washed.”

I washed her hair and we both changed into our PJ’s. When she was wearing a camisole top the lines of scars on the inside of her forearm were noticeable.
I picked up a bottle of Bio Oil, which I used to try and reduce my stretch marks I get through dieting. “Can I put some of this on your arms it’ll help stop the scarring” I asked. “If you want to.” Came the answer.
Very gently I rubbed the bio oil into her arms as I did so the tears started falling again.

I sniffed and finished applying the oil saying, “Oh Kate let’s get some sleep.” I could see she was drained and I was at very low ebb.
She snuggled into me I automatically hugged her close. In a very sleepy voice Kate mumbled, Thanks aunt Av I really do love you.” Then her voice drifted off as exhaustion took over.

I lay there for a while wondering what I should do whom should I tell I was well out of my depth here and I decided to phone Kate’s social worker June for advice tomorrow!
Then I realised it was tomorrow so I’d phone after we’d got some sleep then I drifted off into a deep troubled sleep.

I woke up and the first thing that I saw was her stunning green eye’s solemnly staring at me.
“Aunt Av” she started, “I’ve been thinking” I simply looked at her waiting. “Well” she carried on, “I’ve been stupid – haven’t I?” “Yes darling you have” was really all I could say. “I Love you and I’ve hurt you I promise I won’t do it ever again!”

I’m afraid I wasn’t going to let her off that easily so I responded, “Do what again? Prostitution or cutting yourself?” “Both” she mumbled. “Speak up Kate I can’t hear you!”
I felt her back straighten she looked me in the eye and said in a clear voice, “Both aunt Av I promise I will never cut myself again or do something stupid like last night!” “Oh Katie” was all I could say.
I hugged her to me and said, “I believe you love BUT I want to see your arms every weekend just to prove your still being strong – deal?” A big grin crossed her face as she responded, “Deal – I’m starving!”

I sighed and muttered, “tell me something new” but a bridge of sorts had been crossed I think but I still needed advice.

It was 5pm when we got out of bed we got dressed and I gave her a spare bottle of my Bio Oil then I phoned her mum to tell her what had gone off.
Helen was devastated she took it really badly. I begged her not to be too hard on Kate she promised that she would have a long talk with her when she arrived home I said about 8pm this would give us time to eat.
Helen told me that would be a good time as she put it, “He’ll be snoring his head off well pissed by then.”

Next I phoned June and filled her in she was concerned, very concerned about the verbal abuse Kate was getting from her dad. And concerned about the self-harm Kate had done. I told her of the deal I had made with her; she grunted and made me promise to tell her if Kate turned up with fresh marks anywhere on her body. (Apparently there are other places on the body where people do harm to themselves – I never realised)

Kate came in and asked who I’d been talking to so I told her. She turned glum saying, “So I’m in deep sh%t then!” I smiled and told her, “Language Kate! But did you really expect anything else?”
Smiling ruefully she answered, “No I suppose not – sorry for swearing.”

I drove her home, stopping for some fish and chips for her. Me I was on a low carb high protein part of my diet to build up the muscle to burn off (it’s a very strict complex diet that needs an iron will and determination but it works!)

We arrived at her house and her mum came out to collect her. As she had predicted her husband was asleep to get rid of the beer he’d drunk and for an early start in the morning. (He was a HGV driver)

Helen was really upset about the whole episode and kept on blaming herself. Kate when she saw the distress she had caused her mum was very contrite and swore to the two of us she would never ever; ever do anything like this again. (Her words not mine)

As I drove home I reflected that since Kate had come into my life I was doing a lot of sighing; a lot of crying and used the words ‘Oh Kate’ quite a lot!

Kates Choice

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Comments

A powerful episode in both your lives…

Rhona McCloud's picture

… and well written too. Made me think seriously about self-harm which I'd thought of as an endorphin high addiction. Maybe it is not so different to the self-sabotage we do at work and in our physical efforts; also like the appallingly harmful relationships we often insist on trying to maintain.

Rhona McCloud

Your comment is very true

Christina H's picture

Rhona.

Thank you for your kind comment.
What you say is very true, what I have omitted in the story is the amount of counselling and support everyone gave to her, but the main reason she got over this episode is the amazing strength this girl has.

Christina H

Powerful stuff

I shudder to think what might have happened to Kate if you hadn't been there for her - you'll probably disagree but the term 'guardian angel' comes to mind.