SEE Commentaries #4 - #6

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As before, these are notes which explain my thought processes and decisions while writing SEE, provided here as a service (or a warning!) to other writers.

These three chapters have only minor adjustments in general. The usual things like Capitalization and fixing typos. There are a few cases where I have changed "Yes" to "Aye" but in the main it will be difficult to spot most alterations. I have slightly changed one or two speeches but nothing that has any major significance.

Chapter 4

In this chapter Garia is abruptly aware of her circumstances and realizes that they are difficult. She suddenly has a different body, one that is smaller, weaker and more vulnerable. She has no idea how women are treated in this society so she has to tread carefully.

All she can do is follow people around the palace and do what she is told. In general, most people seem to want to help her and this is a certain reassurance, but there is always Morlan lurking in the background. There is as yet little opportunity for her to get an overview of where she is.

Chapter 5

This is the first battle with Morlan and she has to do it all on her own. Morlan has a preconceived idea of what Garia is and assumes that much of what she tells him is nonsense. The session does not end well. Fortunately a familiar face is at hand to help her recover from the confrontation and the King further reassures her.

When they first meet Keren is wearing clothes of a type not mentioned anywhere else in the story. At the time I wrote this chapter I had no idea what the clothing would look like, the royal colors or anything like that. Leather breeches seem questionable for exercising in the hot summer sun but we do not learn just what Keren had been doing; if for example he had spent the morning in the Armory his gear would have been acceptable. Subsequently his movements match those of Garia and he dresses differently.

Chapter 6

The second battle with Morlan shows Garia beginning to fight back but still having no idea how she will convince anyone of her plight - or even if that is a sensible thing to do. This time she talks with Keren, who has a more open mind, and seems to convince him that she really is from another world.

Garia is frustrated because she has been placed into a situation where nobody wants to tell her anything. She has a temper but obviously wants to keep it in check in this unusual situation. Later on we'll learn that she has knowledge of techniques for handling her temper but against that the hormones in her new body threaten to take her unawares.

At the end of the day, the second since she arrived at the palace, she gets the chance to physically explore her new body. I decided that, as it was a gender change, I could not see anyone overlooking the opportunity to find out what the new body did. I didn't feel that it was necessary to go into great graphic detail, though.

Garia

I'm not sure where the name came from. It sort of just surfaced during the weeks before I started writing. I had no idea if it was a real name or anything. Subsequently I have learned that Garia is a place in India, but the word can also mean "small girl" which suits the circumstances completely. Recently most searches also return a brand of golf cart. I have not found the name in use in any other story.

If you have ever read the David Eddings series "The Belgariad" you'll know that the hero there is called Garion. I subsequently realized that people could think that I took the name from there, especially since the tone of some of the story could be said to be similar, but this is definitely not so.

Keren

Another name thought up at the spur of the moment. As the story progressed I found that I was thinking up hundreds of names, many of which would appear only once or twice. However, this does reflect real life at the risk of confusing the reader.

It had to follow the naming rules for Anmar, which at this stage were rudimentary. All names begin with a consonant, although I boobed with the Queen's eldest daughter Elizet. I have subsequently passed that off as being a link to the distant land Terys came from, where the rules are likely different. Female names end with -a, -et, -el or -y while male names end with -n, -ar, -s and occasionally -o. There are exceptions, usually for people who are presumed foreigners.

Background

Since most of this story is told from Garia's point of view, I did not feel it necessary to provide any background beyond what she would know at any one time. A lot of stories spend several paragraphs near the beginning explaining where it takes place, who various people are, their relations to one another and so on. Personally I find this off-putting. I tend to gloss over such descriptions and pick up what I need to know further along the tale.

In fact, I prefer the way I wrote this, as it provides the reader with a mystery on top of everything else. If you want to find out why something is the way it is, read more! I don't think I let it get out of hand anywhere, though. If the reader has to know something at any one time, there will always be somebody ready to explain it to Garia.

The palace

This can be thought of as a grid, with the buildings occupying the lines and with courtyards in the squares between. All courtyards have cloisters, though some will be paved and others set out as formal gardens. There is no map of the palace in existence. Very few rooms are specifically defined in relation to one another. You can assume that the palace is vast, with maybe 6-8 columns wide and perhaps 12-15 rows deep, half of which are within the old Chivan fort.

Since the description of the palace layout is so vague (and deliberately so) I have provided a little extra information in What Milsy Did, though that provides no help regarding the overall layout. For the purposes of either story, we don't need to know any more and more detail would just get in the way.

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