I am sitting with Francie at lunch and she grins at me. I ask, “What?”
She shakes her head and says, “I don’t know. You’re different today… Like…you’re at peace, or something. I don’t know what it is…but…WHATEVER it is—I LIKE what it has done to you!”
I smile and shake my head. I say, “I’ll tell you about it, Francie. Later. Right now, I have to concentrate on kicking some ‘other’ camp ass! Speaking of…Is Madame Pratt serious about that lift with Michael? I mean, I know HE can handle it…but…am *I* really ready?”
Francie grabs my hand and says, “Paige, Love, you’re SO ready! Just trust yourself, OK? If you want to kick ‘other’ camp ass, then DO IT! GO WITH THE FLOW! You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish!”
o~O~o
I watch the buses leave. I laugh to myself as I see all of the boys with their heads down playing on their phones. The girls aren’t any better, though…texting away with who knows what girlfriends…
All that is left in camp are those that qualified for ‘after-camp’ competitions. I look around and smile. There are actually still a LOT of us—about a quarter of the camp.
Those that are on my teams include: Eleven for swimming—six girls (including me) and five boys; five for ballet—four girls (including Francie and me) and one boy (Michael); and the full cheer squad of ten girls—no boys…
There are, of course, more…but in disciplines that I am not involved in… At least Georgette, Brenda and Julia are still here—and, of course Francie!
I look at Francie, who is holding my hand, and say, “I don’t know whether to be excited—or run to the woods to puke from being so nervous! It is all riding on the few of us left to defend our honor!”
She laughs and says, “Well…whatever happens, the fact that your Mom is allowing you to sleep in my room in our cabin is a WIN!”
I smile at her and feel a lump in my throat… I say, “Yeah…I’m still shocked at that one… Let’s enjoy it while we can—before my REAL mom shows up and changes her mind!” I giggle.
o~O~o
I clean up after cheerleading practice – and, yes, the showers are still as invigorating as before—and go back to my room to study my lines. One of the consequences of the camp being shrunken down to post-camp participant size is that those that ARE left have to take up some of the slack of those that are now gone. As such, I now have a very small part in the play the drama team is putting on; as do all the non-drama team participants left.
It takes me all of ten minutes to memorize the ten lines that I have. Brenda, who is on the drama team and has a main part, gives me a thumbs up and I put down the script to grab my towel and go over to the lake. Francie is waiting there for me. I insisted she leave me alone while I studied my lines…
When we get to the lake, Francie is laying on a lounger and I see Georgette out in the water. I also see Julia coming our way. Her art project—a REALLY cool oil painting—was accepted for the post-camp art show. She will be doing ‘set-work’ for the play, too… She waves and we all converge on Francie’s lounger, Georgette too—dripping wet and slinging water from her long hair.
Julia gives her a playful shove and Francie screams a little, since she is really hot from the sun and the water comparatively cold. I see Terri come up behind Georgette, also dripping wet. She is a Lavender and ALMOST made it into Pink; or so I’m told. She looks at us a little shyly and Georgette pulls her into a loose one-armed hug and gives her a kiss.
We all, of course, go, “Ooooooooooooooooo….!”
Terri turns bright red and Georgette says, “That’s right and don’t you girls forget it—she’s MINE!”
Francie smiles and says, “Congrats girls! As you know, things are a bit looser in after-camp. I already have permission to take my Pinks into town and to the mall… If you give me your mother’s number, Terri, I’ll see if she is OK with you joining us? Assuming you want to…?”
Terri lets out a little scream and says, “Really? Shopping? Of course I’m in!”
Francie shakes her head and says, “You really SHOULD have been a Pink!” She takes the number and quickly gets confirmation that it is OK—as a counselor, Francie is allowed HER phone…
o~O~o
An hour and a half later, we are all at the same mall I had spent time with my mother at the day before. This time is completely different, though. I am with a horde of giggling girls—shopping-crazed girls… I soon find out, though, that ‘shopping’ means something COMPLETELY different to girls than to boys.
For us boys…well you know what I mean…it is about looking around, sure—but, ultimately, it is about GETTING something. You know that super-cool thing…
Two hours after getting here, I have found out that for girls, it is about the experience of just looking…and, well trying things on. It is kind of like when they…we…look at the fashion magazines back at camp (no internet for campers, remember?)—it is all about, ‘what do you like?’ or ‘what do you think?’.
I think I have tried on thirty different ‘outfits’—as has every other girl here. By now, I am actually even able to give a coherent ‘opinion’ on how it looks—especially after some of that ‘training’ I had looking at all of those fashion magazines.
After all of that—no one has bought even a single thing. And the stores aren’t even MAD about that! We do, however make one more round and some of the girls DO buy a thing or two after thinking about it.
Francie even buys me a pair of earrings. I nervously change them out, never having done so yet; my holes are barely healed up. The large hoops feel funny as they dangle from the front holes in my ears. Of course, all of the girls ‘LOVE’ them!
I give Francie a kiss to thank her—not because I necessarily LOVE the look, but she won’t ever know that. I’m sure I will get used to all of this over time—but I AM glad when it comes time to head back to camp for supper… My first TRUE outing as a girl was also TRULY draining!
After supper, all I really want to do is go back to my room and relax a bit—recharge my mental batteries. What I really crave is being able to talk to Francie about all of this. I really wish I could get all of this out…
I look in the mirror at the hoops in my ears—then focus on my face as a whole. All I see is a really CUTE girl—the hoops look really good on that girl with her long French Braid showing them off… Suddenly, I feel overwhelmed by all of this. I fight back tears…HARD.
At that moment, there is a knock on the door. Francie wouldn’t knock…and she is back at the lake with the other girls anyways… I open the door and fall into my Mom’s arms, shamelessly crying.
After several minutes of her just quietly hugging me and stroking my hair, I clean up my makeup and she silently takes me to Angi’s office.
Angi notices my red eyes first thing and shoots Mom a questioning look. Mom says, “I think it’s finally sinking in…”
Angi comes over and takes my hands into hers and Mom hugs me from behind. We stay like that for several minutes…completely silent. I just soak in the supportive energy from them and realize that I would NEVER have been able to as Vick. First, I wouldn’t have allowed them to hold me this way—and, second, they would have never likely offered; not like this, anyway.
Finally, I say, “Thanks, Mom…ma. Thanks, Angi. I’m OK—for now. It was just so…overwhelming…at the mall. It’s SO different. Don’t get me wrong; I didn’t dislike it. I actually kind of enjoyed it. It’s just that the bonds girls have are at such a deeper EMOTIONAL level than boys could ever dream of…”
Angi giggles and says, “And you’re a true introvert, which doesn’t help. I can promise that you will learn to cope with the introvert part as you develop those deeper bonds. That is…assuming you’re not starting to change your mind?”
Mom squeezes me from behind and says, “It’s OK if you do, you know?”
I take a deep breath and ALMOST give in. I shake my head, though, and say, “No—like you said; I will adjust. It’s just different…and while talking to the both of you helps…”
Angi says, “It would help to be able to talk to someone your own age…someone who’s gone through this themselves—at least at some level? I know you HAVE talked to girls that have transitioned—Francie, Georgette, Alecia…to name a few. But they don’t know your TRUE story and you haven’t likely REALLY listened up to now, right?”
I nod and take a shaky breath. Mom hugs me tighter from behind and I relish the comfort it actually brings me. I can feel our bonds evolving—almost in real-time…
“I think it’s maybe time that we let Francie in on this…,” Angi asks—looking at BOTH of us.
My heart pounds harder. I say, “I would LOVE to be able to talk to her about this; but what will she think…?”
Mom squeezes me and says, “If she’s only your girlfriend because you’re a Pink—or because of some score, then that isn’t a great foundation to begin with, Love. Besides, from what Angi tells me, she’s a very special girl, so I think it would be good for you—and only fair to her, don’t you think? Hmmm? Sheila is OK with her knowing—but we need to keep it to just this small group for now, OK?”
I nod and Angi sends Francie a text…
o~O~o
Francie and I are sitting on the couch across from Mom and Angi. Francie is still in her bikini, covered in a beach wrap. She is holding my hand, her long legs demurely crossed, and she has a concerned look on her face, “Is everything OK,” she asks, her foot bouncing nervously.
Angi nods and says, “Yes… and no… We need to let you in on something, Francie—but, before we do; we need to know that you will keep this COMPLETELY to yourself.”
She looks at me and I bite my lip and say, “Please?”
She nods and says, “Of course! What’s going on? What’s this all about?”
And we tell her the whole story. She actually grips my hand really tight as the story develops and is freely crying when we finish. She hugs me and says, “Oh, you poor Sweetie! I can’t imagine… How are we going to get this fu…err…bast…err…CRIMINAL?”
I look at her and ask, “You aren’t mad at me? Y…y…you still want to be my girlfriend?”
She gives me a furious look and asks, “Questions like THAT could make me reconsider! Do you really think that I’m that shallow? That I only love you because you’re a Pink…or TG?”
Mom takes in a deep breath at the word ‘LOVE’…as do I.
I blink and say, “I…I…I HOPED not…”
Francie says, “Well…I’m not!”
She smiles to let me know that she is really not mad at me and says, “I can understand your worry, but there is nothing to worry about, OK?”
I nod and take in a shaky breath.
Francie looks back at Mom and Angi and asks, “So…now that THAT is settled, what DO we do about Allen?”
Mom sighs and says, “That’s still being worked out and I’m happy to have you on as part of the team—especially since there seems to be more to your relationship with my…daughter…than I knew…”
Francie blushes and says, “Well, yes, Mrs. Fitzsimmons. I DO love your daughter…or son…or in-between. Wherever this ultimately winds up taking her or him. That isn’t why I wanted Paige as my girlfriend at all. I GENUINELY LIKE her as a person—not as a status…”
She holds up her hand and says, “I know… I’m a couple of years older than her and you think she isn’t old enough to commit to a relationship like that… I promise that I won’t hurt her and if she decides to move on, I won’t stand in her way…”
Mom says, “I’m more worried that YOU might move on. I assume you’re going to college?”
I take in a deep breath and say, “Momma!”
Francie squeezes my hand and says, “Yes, Mrs. Fitzsimmons. I’ve been accepted into Julliard where I will be studying dance. I will totally be in a fairly close commuting distance…”
Angi has a concerned look on her face, but it softens as Mom says, “OK, then. Well, just so you know, I met Vi…Paige’s Dad when I was about h..er age. Frank…her Dad—ironic isn’t it?—was three years older than me. I was the girly-girliest girl in school…a cheerleader and he was on the football team. I assume that is where Paige’s aptitude for her current—and previous—activities all comes from. Anyway, my parents gave me flack and tried to keep us apart—it didn’t work then and it won’t work now…”
I take in a deep breath.
Mom continues, “But, Francie, YOU are the older one in this relationship and I expect you to be the mature one! Don’t disappoint me…and, PLEASE call me Dawn. I hear ‘Mrs. Fitzsimmons’ WAY too much at work…”
Francie is actually slightly pale up until then. Angi giggles. And I go and give my mother a HUGE hug.
Frankly, I hadn’t considered my TRUE feelings for Francie until this moment because I knew our relationship was based on a sham. Now, I felt my heart flooding with strange emotions…genuine ones that I knew I could now allow to grow. I think I am genuinely falling in love, too!
o~O~o
I have a steely calm in my voice—I have no idea where it is coming from. It is early Sunday morning and the first time I have talked to Allen since this all broke. Angi had let him know that I would be staying on for post-camp and she had said he seemed REALLY relieved—especially when Mom also told him that she was ‘staying in Europe’ a couple of extra weeks.
I hear his slimy voice over the phone, “How’s post-camp going, Sport? You still liking everything?”
I say, “It’s fine…there just wasn’t a good way for me to say, no. I still am looking forward to going back to my normal life, though. It’s just…”
I pause and wait for him to speak.
Finally, with a really worried voice, he asks, “What? It’s just…’what’? You haven’t spoken to anyone about our deal to get you in there, right?”
I grin and say, “It’s just that…I seem to be changing… I think all of this girly stuff is starting to affect me…” I intentionally don’t answer his MAIN question.
He says, “I’m sure it will all be OK once you get home…it’s just well…somehow your Mom now thinks that you’re there because you’re transgendered. Angi must have said something to her.”
I gasp—it is a genuine gasp. I can’t believe the balls this guy has… I regather my composure and ask, “What? What do I do now? I’m not TG! I know that there are a lot of T-girls at camp, but…”
Allen seems pleased all of a sudden. He says, “Let me handle it, Sport. Under no circumstances talk to anyone about this, OK? Especially to Angi. That will really mess things up if you want me to get it straightened out. I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding. For now, it may actually also be better to play along if you talk to your Mother. I promise, it will all work out IF you just do as I say, OK?”
I feel like throwing up as I say, “OK, Uncle Allen. I guess pretending I fit in here a while longer won’t hurt…I just want to get back to playing football.”
Allen says, “Oh…I’m sorry, Sport. Your mother has nixed any more heavy contact sports after your concussion. I wouldn’t say anything right now…but, *I* think you should know… But, you’re getting into other things now, obviously…you made all of those post-camp teams! So, that’s good, right?”
I make a gurgling sound. How had I fallen for this crap before? I MUST have still been affected by the concussion—this is ALL so transparent now…
I play along, “No more football? Really? But…”
He says, “I know… Again, let me work on her… Just play along with things for now? OK? Like I said, it’ll all work out… If she asks, just agree with her on this transgender stuff—for now… And don’t talk to Angi about it.”
I say, “OK, Uncle Allen, I know you’re looking out for me. I mean, Mom is off in Europe and left you in charge—so, I know she TRUSTS you. That means you MUST be looking out for my BEST interests! Bye!”
I hang up and my hand is shaking as Francie takes it and gives it a comforting squeeze. Mom is visibly pale. Angi is furious. Sheila is shaking her head.
We are all in Angi’s office and I go pour some more coffee from the pot. I’m still furious.
Sheila looks at Momma and says, “I think it’s about time you check in with Allen from ‘Germany’, right? It’s three in the afternoon there…”
Still furious herself, Mom says, “Yes… THIS should be enlightening. At least we have an idea of what his game plan is. Continue to play us… I’m still not sure what his endgame is, though. You did a REALLY good job, Love. I hope I can do as well…”
Sheila says, “Yes, Paige. That was perfect—and we have it all recorded.”
Momma takes her phone and presses the little icon with his number.
He answers after three rings, “Hi, Hon! How’s Germany today?”
Mom says, “It’s wonderful!” She looks at her computer and checks the weather for Munich, “It’s sunny and beautiful and I’m sitting in a nice little sidewalk café having cake and coffee. I only wish you were here with me.”
I pretend to stick my finger in my mouth and vomit. Angi play slaps my hand.
After some more ‘mushy’ talk, Allen says, “Hon…I have some news… I was going to wait until you got back, but… Well, you know that creativity camp that Vick INSISTED on going to instead of sports camp. The one that his Doctor, Angi, runs? Well, it’s actually for transgendered kids… Vick…or rather PAIGE even volunteered to stay an additional two weeks for special events. She…well…she told me a while back that she thought she was a girl…and this seems to have cemented it for her. I know she may still be questioning herself…but I’ve been talking with Angi and she’s convinced that Paige is truly a girl. She even had Paige take some test that totally confirms it…”
Mom gasps.
I know how she feels—the GALL…
Angi’s face is BEET RED.
Mom continues, “And you felt like you had to tell me this over the phone? How long have you known?”
Allen says, “Well, I can’t help it that you won’t let me help at the office so that you could be HOME for your child and for me to be ABLE to talk to you in person. Vick talked to me a few months ago—said he was afraid to talk to you because of what you might think… I guess he wasn’t worried about what *I* think…”
He pauses, I guess for dramatic effect, then continues, “Anyway, I was going to tell you when you got home—before your stay got extended…again. Angi was pretty insistent that you need to know. We had hoped to do it in person, though.”
Angi is shaking her head and trembling in anger.
Momma says, “We’ll talk about THAT later… How is…Paige doing, then? I’ll make plans to come home STRAIGHT AWAY!”
Allen says, “Don’t take this out on ME, Dawn! I didn’t have anything to do with it. I’ve been trying to support your daughter! And she’s doing fine, from what I understand. I’m in daily contact with Angi. I’m going to call her right after we’re done here. From what Angi tells me, Paige is still somewhat conflicted about being transgendered, but is fitting in with the girls at camp so well that there is NO doubt. She says, we just need to be supportive and encouraging her that this is the best course for her.”
He pauses and says, “Don’t make any hasty decisions, Dawn. She’s in camp for another two weeks and there isn’t anything you can do. Angi has it under control—the important thing is WHEN you DO come home is that you support HER and encourage HER to become the girls she IS inside. Just do me a favor and don’t let her know that I violated her trust and told you… Besides, it will probably mean more to her if it seems like it is natural for you to think she’s a girl and support her—like you knew it all along or something…”
Momma is fuming as he continues, “For now, look after the company which has to be your priority…you know for Paige. Maybe this does show that you need my help there, after all?”
She says, “OK, Allen. If you’re sure that she’s OK—I AM needed for an important series of meetings that will further cement things for the company. We’re making REAL progress here. And, no, I won’t let Vick know that you told me anything… I’ll talk to you tomorrow. If you talk to Vi…Paige… Tell hi…her I love her!”
She hangs up and has tears of rage in her eyes. She says, “Oh…I’ll let you help in the company alright… Sheila, any news on the merger?”
Sheila nods and says, “Yes, Ma’am. Gloria just texted that all went as planned—you picked a good one in her. I think the board will soon find it is a brave new world when this is over…”
Momma starts to say something, but Angi’s phone rings.
She says, “It’s Allen…” She answers, “Hello, Allen? How are you today?”
Allen’s voice comes through the speaker, “Fine. I hope it isn’t too early on a Sunday?”
Angi says, “Not at all. What can I do for you? Is something wrong?”
Allen says, “No. I just talked to Dawn. She’s caught in Europe for another couple of weeks. I gave her a status update on Paige. She’s really thankful that you’re helping her…our…daughter out. She’s still a little confused about all of this, but I keep reinforcing to her that this is who Paige IS…inside… At some point, she’s going to need to hear it from you…that this is real, I mean. That Paige really IS transgendered and wants this—and that this is the best thing for HER… No matter what Dawn may think.”
Angi grimaces and says, “Of course, Allen. Of course it’s the best thing for PAIGE… When’s she coming back? I’ll be happy to confirm all of this to her. Or maybe I should give her a call?”
Allen quickly says, “NO… No, she’s really caught up in some important meetings or something. I don’t want to distract her too much from those. She should be coming back around the time that post-camp is over…”
Angi says, “OK, Allen. I look forward to meeting with her when she’s back in the country, then.”
She hangs up and closes her eyes.
Sheila says, “Well, his strategy is clear now—if Paige hadn’t spoken up, he COULD have gotten away with it. By dividing and conquering and disseminating half-truths. I almost admire how he’s spinning all of this—he could have been a great lawyer if he had decided to use his skills for good.”
I say, “I still can’t believe it took me SO long for it to click… I mean it is SO clear, NOW…”
Angi says, “Don’t beat yourself up about that, Paige. It is pretty clear to me, actually. It was a perfect storm for you… You were still affected by your concussion by the time the hormones started kicking in. Trust me, estrogen is tough to handle under the BEST of circumstances—and you were nowhere near those. With Allen constantly confusing you on top of the concussion and hormonal effects, you were destined to be misled… Plus, I looked into other recipients of the serum and it’s becoming apparent that there is some cognitive affect for the first few weeks. It’s a side effect that I need to look into more… If anything, it looks like it’s a miracle that you came around when you did!”
Momma says, “Well, we have the beginnings of supporting material to go after the bastard.”
Sheila says, “We’re still a long way off from being able to go after him in court, though. This would all not be admissible…even if he flat out admitted to doing it—which he didn’t…”
Angi says, “I’m beginning to come up with a few ideas. I want to discuss them with Dawn, though.”
Sheila says, “I don’t think I want to know about those… But, PLEASE, carry on!” She giggles when she says, “I’m sure I don’t the two of you plotting against ME!”
Comments
Hmmm, I can foresee skirts in
Hmmm, I can foresee skirts in Allen's future, and I don't mean those being worn by Paige or her mother.
Payback can be a "bitch" or even two, or three, or maybe even four, or more when necessary.
I think there is certainly some bitchiness in SOMEONE's future!
Fair warning, though--some might NOT like the next chapter...
HUGS!
Shovel, hammer and nails
One sure shovel full at a time, Allen is deepening the hole he started.
And there are four ladies who are eager to drive the nails into his coffin. Hopefully after one of them uses the hammer on him. Of course there are a few things they could use those nails for before using them onthe coffin.
Besides learning how fully he's been tricked, Vick learned he has a true love who accepts Vick/Paige for the person they truly are. Had Francie just been playing Paige and left in shock after hearing the story, things might have been much different for Paige. And she would have had a worry that Francie would spread the news.
But it didn't happen that way and the bond between Francie and Paige strengthened.
It will be real interesting to see what ideas come from Angi. Maybe a cocktail or two with Allen to celebrate another fine camp season? A special cocktail?
Others have feelings too.
More like claws than nails... :)
Those are certainly being sharpened...
HUGS!
Oh dear, Allen.
This was far too wicked - and too clever by half - to be allowed. Paige is adapting to a new future well, it could easily have gone bad in Vick's head, though once the plot was outed at least support and sympathy were assured.
Teri Ann
"Reach for the sun."
Oh how the wicked do fall...
Paige still has a LONG way to go--but, you're right. At least there is a growing support structure!
HUGS!
Wait a second! I am starting
Wait a second! I am starting to think Dawn has a real shock coming for the board and Allen with twat merger...hmm, perhaps some fossils are going to be excused from the company? The way Sheila talked it sounds like some people are going to be out of their jobs soon!
Oh and they do make a cute couple and love does find a way, hopefully Francie can accept that Paige is younger but smarter than people think!
I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime
Boards come and go...
Oops, did I say that? *GIGGLE*
HUGS!
Allen is *way* too good at
Allen is *way* too good at this. Dawn needs to hire a detective or three to check into his past. I bet this isn't the first time he's used this technique to scrtew people over.
May be the first time he used TG, but I'm sure there are lots of other things this sort of half-truths and fast talk could be used to pull off.
If they can establish a *pattern* they might be able to take him to court even with the evidence they have.
I also bet that there's a lot of his past that dawn doesn't know.
Angi should see about testing Vic again. He may be able to remember the way he would have answered the test without the answers he'd been given.
And running him thru a different test now wouldn't hurt either.
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks
Even the mighty fall...
And Allen will find that out--sooner or later--mighty as he is... ;)
HUGS!