Lots of good conversation going on in the news and on places like Facebook, where Target, the American Family Association and other sites feature homophobes.
Though participating in the commerce is exhausting, I think a lot of good is coming of it. I'm just too snotty and sassy to let some of what the ignorant are saying just go by. Though, the time will come when I need to step back and take a break.
Many on the news and in Facebook are sympathetic to our plight, something that surprises me.
The American Family Association (a radical, right wing Christian group) got an email from me how what they are doing is a very blatant violation of their own "supposed" belief system, and I used appropriate scriptural references. I spent over 30 years in that system and know how to use their stuff against them, though I no longer believe in it. Mostly these people are unkind to us because they do not understand, and are afraid. So, my own beliefs dictate that I be kind to the ignorant and fearful if possible.
AND, there are people, lots of them within these groups who are sympathetic to our plight. No reason to lose heart.
Comments
I know what you mean Gwen
A good friend of mine said to me,"if you think for one moment I'd let one of those sick creeps in the same bathroom as my daughter(25yr), I'd shoot them first."
But it seems ok to let a pediphile use the same Mens room as a nine yr old boy.
Which one is the sick creep here?
Karen
Ugh...
I'm sorry, but if I had a friend who said something like that to me, #1, they'd have to be really friggen dumb, and not just on the usual level, because I've always got other friends around if I'm in a social situation at all who'd back me and some of them can be freaking scary, especially my boyfriend if you piss him off, and if you call me a "sick creep" while he's near by, you can bet he'll be pissed off big time, and #2, they wouldn't be my friend anymore. I just don't have patience for that kind of thing in my life anymore.
Abigail Drew.
Perhaps some education?
Most people who know me, also know that I have spent a lot of time in the study of psychology, and genetics. So, I might try to explain the situation to my friend.
Good for you...
Good for you. You're a stronger woman than me then, because I just don't have the patience to deal with that much ignorance in a calm manner at all. It doesn't help things any when you're just yelling at them, mocking them, and snarking at them. Though those things certainly help release the tension those words can cause, they ultimately just reflect that tension back even stronger. When in-person I just walk away. Online is a whole 'nother ball game!
Abigail Drew.
Can't see how such a friendship can continue
If you are TS, and I am guessing that Karen is NOT TS, then I would have a very hard time staying friends with them because now I feel the friendship would be based on a lie really. I had a coworker who casually mentioned that his cat freaked out, running and yowling like crazy around the room, when visitors came and he got so angry (and I am sure embarrassed) that he snapped the cat's neck and killed her. Any thoughts of wanting to have any association with that erm 'person' died at that moment.
There are limits as to what one can be 'flexible' on.
OMG!!!
What a horrid thing to even have to LISTEN to someone else talk about so casually as though that poor cat's life meant nothing!
Abigail Drew.
Yeah, I know.
On top of that, he is one of those ultraconservative types too who would no doubt support a bathroom bill. Young macho type engineer, white male, coming from Michigan, a typical alpha male type. I honestly don't see what his wife sees in him.
I have met a number of conservative people like that with a deeply held streak of cruelty in them, takes extreme positions on gun ownership, global warming, considers any person who is not totally in their camp a joke, a nobody, ya know, Trump supporters, though I don't think Cruz supporters are much better.
Evangelicals as Sadists
What you say sounds reasonable, in fact my 47 year old son is a full on sadist. Never made that connection before.
Gwen
Oh and need I mention
He killed it with his bare hands. He was proud of the fact he was capable of doing a dirty job personally and not have anybody else deal with his problems for him (meaning he would have had his cat put down.)
He is the kind of person who could snap and do something horrible imho. He is definitely the type of person who I do NOT ever want to own a gun.
He has at least one of course.
And if I were to guess
He implied that he resumed his evening with his visitors after killing her.
They don't understand themselves
Mostly those who respond in aggression are simply afraid, and could have what they view as unacceptable drives themselves. I think that a large part of the horrendous beatings and abuse I endured from my stepfather were due to the fact that he had "drives" himself that were dismaying to him, so he lashed out in aggression.
The Goodness of Others
You should never be surprised at humanity's capacity for goodness or for evil. They are two heads of the same coin. I think that most people are afraid of change. I think that is a given for everyone, regardless of race, sexual identity, gender, or belief system. I was afraid to tell my own family about my sexual preference. The hardest decision most of us make is the one that shows our true selves to those we love. We hide behind a facade and as a result, the vast majority of humanity have no true concept of who we are. Instead, they see sensationalised accounts and hysterics which are exacerbated by people on the extreme edges. This creates a confrontational atmosphere that leads to the idiocy that we are now seeing played out.
People are basically good. People fear change. We need to help them see that their fears are unfounded.
Gandhi and King were the best examples I can cite as how to change a flawed system.
Anyway, that's my own two-cents.
waif
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.
Missing the point ... deliberately!
There are two key features of the entire bathroom debate--whether you argue for or against, on public safety, morals, or religious grounds, these are deliberately hidden from the public debate:
The first is that the key word "attack" is intentionally overlooked. An attack, an assault, whether attempted rape, battery, or mugging, is a violent crime. Whether the perpetrator is male, female, trans, Republican, Baptist, or from Indiana, it is an attack. No matter if somebody is inclusive or a transphobe, we can all agree that an attack is a crime, and IF it occurs, the perpetrator should be apprehended.
There are those who cry, "But if we allow trans women (it's never trans men) in the Ladies, they will attack!" Well, it's never happened, but also overlooked is the subset of this point--trans women have used the Ladies' restrooms for years, as well as trans men. But IF there was an attack, we all should want the attacker arrested--but for the attack itself, not for any potential attack.
The second point is that the bathroom debate is a stalking horse. It's the magician waving his hand, drawing your attention, while he picks your pocket. HB2 in North Carolina was loudly trumpeted as a public safety measure, preying on fear and ignorance to ban LGBT people from certain restrooms. BUT! Packed in the bill and NOT mentioned to those same good citizens of NC, were measures that allowed discrimination on the basis of race, sex, age, and so on. They also prevented wrongfully-terminated employees from filing suit--ALL packed quietly in legislation supposedly only about trans people in restrooms.
Everyone should spread the word about the REAL truth behind the "restroom bills", stealthily stripping citizens of protection against discrimination. By the way, these bills seem to be sponsored in part by corporations glad to be relieved of anti-discrimination laws. Now they can cheerfully NOT hire women, or blacks, or other groups they decide they don't like; they can now fire employees they suddenly deem "too old", and so on. This last part is especially helpful when they've got an employee who's received annual pay increases; now, through the magic of the LGBT restroom bill, they can dump that employee and hire a new kid at entry level salary.
You'll find that most of the anti-supporting folks--regardless of what grounds they use--had no idea that they could find themselves discriminated against, because they let artificial fear beat their common sense.
Took Longer...
...than it should have for me to find it -- it's not a "Religious Freedom Restoration Act", that one got passed and vetoed successfully last year -- but here's the text of the law:
Public Facilities Privacy & Security Act
Looks as though the voices of doom are mostly --but not totally -- right. Certainly the false pretenses criticism hits the spot. But I'd guess the real point of Section 2 here (the first of the two non-bathroom parts) is to evade local minimum wage laws. I suspect most of the contracting companies who supported this don't care a whole lot what color and sex you are or present as, as long as they don't have to pay you more than $7.25 an hour.
Section 3's the one about anti-discrimination laws in employment being subject only to state and not local/county restrictions. With the notable exception of sexuality and gender presentation, the standard ones still apply:
That would seem to eliminate most of Karin's "cheerfully discriminate" paragraph, including (thanks to that "...and hold") the firing of old employees to save money on new ones. Enforcement is of course another question, and a victim can no longer complain to a city or county about lapses. And there's that cute add-on to the last paragraph there, clarifying that you can't sue in court for damages; it all goes through the state Human Relations Commission. But the basic laws are still in force.
Just to make the point again, this is not the "my religion won't allow me to hire you" situation; this law doesn't address that issue at all.
Eric
Rare event
Trump gets one right.
CD/TS/TG people have been using the facilities they deem appropriate for forty years, with little or no problem.
So what sense does it make, to pass a law to solve a non-existent problem, that forces them to break the law, or put themselves in danger of verbal and physical abuse and great physical harm. Not to mention the danger of getting bigots shot (thanks to the concealed carry laws they support).
anti-trans subset
I have also seen posts/comments by "Anti-trans proponents", who do not want "Transgender Persons" in the restrooms of their birth gender either. I suppose this means "Trans" should not be allowed to pee in the first place!
note: nowhere near as many as those supporting the recent anti-trans bills or those opposed
:(
Addressing this issue
I have been addressing these commenters where it seems appropriate, and my knowledge base might be useful. Where the comments are made by those individuals with what may be Evangelical background, I address those issues because I came from that background and feel qualified to speak their language. Others can be addressed if it feels like there might be possibilities. Some of these commenters are simply parroting what they have been told and don't actually know. Mostly negative comments come from the fearful, and I am sorry for them.