The Might-Have-Been Girl A novel by Bronwen Welsh Copyright 2016

The verger was waiting for us at the church door. Mum slipped inside to take up her position in the front pew, and the bridal party was organised in order of walking down the aisle, first Penny, then me, and then Emma on Reggie's arm. All being ready, the verger pressed a button which gave a signal to the organist who immediately launched into the traditional Wagner's 'Bridal Chorus'. It was at that moment that the only hiccup of the day occurred. Penny looked down the long central aisle with people on either side and suddenly took fright.

“Harriet, I'm scared,” she squeaked.

Thank goodness for theatrical training, I didn't panic.

“How about we go down together holding hands?” I suggested. Her little hand immediately grasped mine tightly, and so that's how we slowly walked down the aisle, followed by Emma and Reggie. As we approached the sanctuary, David and his brother turned to watch us. The look on his face when he saw Emma was something to behold. Reggie passed Emma's hand into David's and then stood to one side. Penny stood next to me, still holding my hand, although she seemed a little calmer now judging by the fact that I could no longer feel her shaking.

The minister walked to the centre of the sanctuary directly in front of Emma and David, welcomed everyone and then said “Who brings this woman to be married to this man?'

Reggie in a firm voice said “I do', and then retired to his seat in the front pew. Maybe you can guess what I was thinking when I heard him utter those words.

The service was a traditional Anglican one with some hymns, prayers, the vows, and a short homily and went without a hitch. I had been asked to do the reading and naturally had practiced it during the preceding weeks. After discussion with Emma and David, we selected the traditional St Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians, Chapter Thirteen in the King James Version, which along with Shakespeare rates as some of the most wonderful poetry in the English language. There are so many modern English versions that we discounted, this is the Bible reading as it was meant to be heard. The only thing we changed was the word 'love' where the original uses 'charity', but the meaning is the same.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profiteth me nothing.
Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Love never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

There was total silence in the church when I finished. As an actress I half expected applause, but this was not the time nor the place.

It is a fairly long extract, and I had it in front of me but knew it by heart of course, so I had no need to refer to the text. With my stage experience, speaking to fifty or so people was not a problem and while some people might say I presented it like a performance as an actor might, well if an actor cannot convey sincerity in her words then she is not doing a very good job. All I can say is that I noticed a few of the older women in the congregation dab at their eyes as I spoke the beautiful words, so I think I did them justice. Certainly the minister thanked me for the reading and sounded as if he meant it, and a few people complimented me later, although I fear mentioning that sounds like boasting.

Emma and David exchanged rings as is the custom nowadays, and the vows concluded with the announcement that they were now husband and wife, and they exchanged the traditional kiss. The wedding party then moved to the side where a table was set up with a white lace cloth, bearing the register and marriage certificate, and these were signed and witnessed. I wasn't a witness since my name was not yet officially Harriet and that might cause problems. Bridesmaids are not always witnesses, so I'm sure no-one thought anything of it.

Finally we resumed our positions and the minister led the congregation in the Lord's Prayer and then said he would like to introduce Mr and Mrs David and Emma Soames, and of course everyone clapped. They walked down the aisle to the strains of Mendelssohn's 'Wedding March', with the rest of the wedding party following.

Outside there were more photos and of course confetti, which some churches frown upon because of the need to clean it up, but fortunately St John's wasn't one of them.

When all that was done, we walked into the church hall which had been beautifully decorated by the ladies of the Women's Institute. All the guests had taken their places while we were having yet more photos taken and Duncan who was acting as Master of Ceremonies asked everyone to be upstanding. First to enter to continuous applause was Mum, accompanied by Reggie standing in for Dad, then David's parents, Peggy and me, the Best Man and groomsman and finally they were asked to greet Mr and Mrs Soames which they did with much cheering and clapping. We in the wedding party took our seats at the head table on a dais at the end of the hall. Emma sat on David's left and I sat on his right with Penny next to me. The Best Man, David's brother Michael, sat to the left of Emma and the groomsman, Geoff, David's brother-in-law sat next to him. The parents and Reggie were seated at the table immediately in front of us, together with David's sister Susan. The rest of the tables were arranged around the hall, allowing a central space as a dance floor.

As M.C., Duncan took over and started proceedings. He introduced David's parents, Stan and Sylvia Soames, a handsome couple in their late fifties I think. Stan stood up and welcomed everyone to the reception and said what a pleasure it was to welcome Emma into their family. He made a little joke about how smart she had been in choosing David since although she was changing her surname from Stow to Soames, her initials would remain the same. Even the weakest of jokes seems to get a good reception at a wedding!

The first course was served, then the main course and after that came the toasts and speeches. Since that time I've been to a number of weddings. Public speaking for some people is one of the worst and most frightening things they are ever called upon to do, but at this wedding everyone seemed very relaxed and handled the occasion well. David's brother proposed a toast to the 'beautiful bridesmaids', and David made the speech starting with the traditional 'On behalf of my wife and myself' which always gets a cheer. He spoke well, thanking everyone for coming and commenting that this was the coming together of two theatrical families and how he would always be grateful to the Apollo Players for being the means by which he met Emma.

In a break with tradition, Emma also rose to her feet and spoke briefly, saying how grateful she was to the Apollo Players too. She thanked the ladies of the Women's Institute for organising such a wonderful reception at short notice, and all the guests for coming.

“It's no secret, nor should it be, that David and I are expecting an addition to our family, and that makes it an even more joyous occasion for us,” she said to great applause. “In due course I hope to see many of you here at a christening.”

Thank goodness times have changed. It's not many years since no-one would have dreamed of making such a statement at a wedding. Everyone knew it was a love match, and the baby was just a surprise bonus.

After the speeches it was time for cutting the wedding cake, again a 'tour-de-force' by one of the W.I. ladies, and then came the bridal waltz. A local quartet consisting of piano, saxophone, bass guitar and drums, was set up in the corner of the room and began to play. After Emma and David had circled the hall twice, it was the turn of the other members of the wedding party to join in. As my 'official partner', David's brother Michael invited me to dance, and at the same time Reggie invited Mum to take a turn around the floor.

As often happens, Mum sat down after a couple of circuits, Michael's wife took over from me, and Reggie took me in his arms for the rest of the bracket of waltzes. I confess I had been looking forward to this moment all day. Reggie had been in view a lot of the time of course, but tantalizingly out of reach. It was so wonderful to be in his arms again; every time we were apart I missed him so much. We had a number of dances during the evening, and now that the formal part of the reception was finished, the wedding party started to sit with other guests rather than isolate themselves on the bridal table. Emma and David made a point of going around all the tables and chatting with their guests.

You may wonder if out of all these people there were some who knew that Emma originally had a brother. The majority who knew were of course in the Apollo Players, and if there were any others, they kept it to themselves. I certainly didn't see any whispering which might have indicated people were discussing the origins of Emma's sister.

The minister, Rev James Sutton, who had officiated at the wedding was one of the wedding guests as is a tradition, and at one point in the reception he came up, obviously intending to speak to me. I took the initiative and said “Good afternoon vicar, that was a lovely service you conducted today.”

“Thank you, I've been meaning to speak to you, young lady,” he responded. “I've heard Corinthians Thirteen read more times than I've had hot dinners, but never so well as you read it today. Indeed, if I am correct, you had actually memorised it. I wondered about that until someone told me that like your sister you are a professional actress.”

I confess to blushing (yet again) at his remarks. “Yes I am vicar. I suppose that's an advantage when speaking to a number of people.”

“Yes indeed, and it brought to mind something with which you might be able to help me. Some of my parishioners are quite elderly and with failing eyesight. I've been asked if there are any recordings of biblical passages which they could listen to rather than try to read. I've found a few but they're rather expensive to buy, and none seem to be in the King James version which they really prefer. I was going to attempt some recordings myself, but after hearing you this afternoon, I was wondering if you might be able to help me by recording some passages, err, in your spare time of course?”

This was the vicar of the church my mother attended, how could I possibly refuse?

“Of course vicar, it will be a pleasure,” was my only possible response.

“Oh that's wonderful,” he replied. “I've got a little cassette recorder which I could loan you, also a Bible of course, and a list of the passages to record. There's just one more thing (I knew exactly what was coming of course) I'm not able to pay you very much.”

“I couldn't possibly accept payment vicar, but I can only do the recordings with one stipulation; I must be anonymous. My agent expects ten percent of all the money I earn, and it would be better if he didn't know I'm doing something 'pro bono'.”

“Of course,” he replied. “You have my word. I'll give the recorder, Bible and list to your mother at church tomorrow if that's alright?”

I thought that Mum might have wanted to give church a miss the following day while she recovered from the exertions of the wedding day, but I couldn't very well say so.

“Of course. I do have to leave for Stratford in the early afternoon.”

“Stratford!” he exclaimed. “Nobody told me you were performing at Stratford!”

“Yes, it's a season of Hamlet and I'm playing Ophelia,” I replied. I know pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but I hope I might be forgiven on this occasion.

“No wonder you were so good,” he said, and I restricted myself to a smile in answer to his comment. Fortunately Reggie came up at that moment to rescue me.

“Excuse me vicar, Harriet's mother wants a word with her.”

“Of course,” he replied. “And thank you so much Miss Stow. I'll be in touch.”

When we were out of earshot I asked Reggie what Mum wanted.

“Nothing actually, but I could see you were trapped and couldn't find a way out, so I rescued you.”

I laughed. “You really are my knight in shining armour. Well I'd better go and talk to Mum in case the vicar is watching.”

“What did he want anyway?” said Reggie.

“In a word, a 'freebie',” I laughed and told him all about it.

“Vicars are well-practised in getting something for nothing,” was his response. “I think they're taught that at 'vicar school'.”

When I told Mum about my exchange with the vicar and how he was going to give her the equipment next day, she sighed. “Well I was thinking of giving tomorrow a miss,” she said. “But I guess I'll have to go now.”

“Would you like me to go instead?”

“Thank you dear, but no, I'd better go. I can always put my feet up when you've all left the house in the afternoon.”

At the end of the reception we all gathered outside to see Emma and David driven off in one of the Jaguars, now with tin cans on string attached to the back bumper bar, and a hand-written sign saying “Just Married”. They were staying at a local hotel for the night, but I knew I would see them the next morning before they went off on a week-long honeymoon. Emma had confided in me that it was a bit of a 'busman's holiday'. They were going to London for the week and intended to catch up on as many shows as possible. I think I've explained before that theatre professionals often don't get to see other shows because they are busy when the other shows are being performed.

The following morning when Mum was at church, Emma and David called around before setting off for London. I was doing washing up, a far cry from the glamorous creature I presented as the following day I fear. I gave them both a hug and thanked them again for the present of the earrings.

“I'm going to wear them on special occasions,” I said.

“Well I hope there are plenty of those, now your career is really taking off,” replied Emma.

“What plays are you going to see in London?” I asked.

“Ah, that's still a secret from Emma,” replied David. “The only one she knows about is 'The Mousetrap', because when she found out that I'd never seen it, she insisted that we go.”

“Well I'm one up on you there, but don't worry, I won't tell you the ending,” I laughed. “Actually, what you're doing is a great idea. There's so many shows I'd like to see but haven't because I was working.”

Just then the doorbell rang and it was Reggie.

“Your Mum invited me to come round and have lunch with you before Mary arrives with the car,” he said.

“I'll just pick up our cases and then we'll be off,” said David. He and Reggie shook hands, and I hugged Emma and David as they walked down to the car which they had parked in the garage at our house so that it wouldn't get 'vandalised' by the wedding party. We waved them off and then walked back in the house. For the first time in days we were alone and naturally enough we didn't lose the opportunity to share a long kiss.

“So much was happening yesterday that I didn't get a moment to properly tell you how lovely you looked,” said Reggie.

“Oh Reggie, and I was wanting to tell you how handsome you looked. I can't wait to see the picture of the two of us that the official photographer took. I'm going to get an enlargement and put it in a frame.”

“I want a portrait one of you too. I'll get a big print to frame and a copy for my wallet so that I can carry you with me wherever I go.”

What could I say in response to that? There was only one thing to do and that was kiss him again.

“I'm making lunch now for when Mum comes back from church. Mary said she will have lunch with her parents and arrive here about two o'clock.”

When Mum arrived she was carrying a plastic bag with her.

“Here's the things the vicar gave me for you,” she said.

I laid them out on the table, the recorder, the Bible and a list of chapters to record. I must say I looked at the recorder with dismay. It was very small, had a built-in microphone, and looked like it had had a hard life.

“I don't think this will do at all,” I said. “If I'm going to do these recordings I want to do them properly. I think I'll show this to the sound guys at the theatre and see if they can suggest something better and hopefully not too expensive.”

Reggie, Mum and I enjoyed our lunch. I had made a chicken pie which we had with peas, carrots and potatoes and it was very well received. We were all quite hungry, and there's nothing like a home-cooked meal.

“You are becoming quite the gourmet cook darling,” said Mum.

Reggie said “Hear,hear.”

Dessert was tinned peaches and icecream, mainly because I didn't have time to make anything else, being still a bit slow in the kitchen, but it was a nice end to the meal.

We hadn't long finished when there was a knock on the door and it was Mary coming to pick us up. We had a non-eventful drive back to Stratford, Mary and Reggie taking turns to drive. I thought to myself that that was definitely the way to do a long drive. As soon as I had settled into the role of Ophelia I was determined to start on driving lessons.

We dropped Reggie off at Stratford Station. Mary stayed in the car while I accompanied him to the platform for a farewell kiss, and then we drove back to the flat. It had been quite an exhausting weekend, so after a 'cuppa' and a biscuit, I was off to bed.

To be continued

I would like to acknowledge the assistance of Louise Anne in proofreading the text and giving me a great deal of useful advice about modern-day Britain to incorporate in the story.