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The Might-Have-Been Girl A novel by Bronwen Welsh Copyright 2015

Chapter 16   To Brid and back again.

On Friday morning, Mum and I were up early for our journey back to Bridchester. I confess I've always been more of an owl than a fowl, something that doesn't matter to the acting profession since we have to stay up late on performance days, and usually sleep in the following morning. My alarm went off at seven o'clock and we got up, showered, dressed and finished our suitcase packing. Then we went down to breakfast and afterwards took a taxi to the tube station.

The journey back to Brid took place without incident and we arrived home mid-afternoon, in time to see Emma before she went to the theatre.

“Congratulations on getting the part, Harriet,” she said. “How did you find the audition?”

“A bit stressful, but I realise it's something I'll have to get used to if I'm going to continue acting. Actually, there's something I'd like to discuss with you,” I said. “Believe it or not there is an understudy for my role. Her name is Elspeth and she was the only other person auditioning for the role. I feel sorry for her because she's done quite a few auditions without getting any work. I'm just wondering how I should treat her as we'll be seeing a lot of each other, and she'll probably be hoping I get sick so she can take over the role.”

Emma laughed, and then seeing that I was serious she said “I'm sorry, that wasn't a very nice thing to do. I'm guessing you might be expected to assist her with learning the part and being confident in it. After all, over three months it's not impossible that you may have to miss some performances, say if you get a bad cold. Someone may see her and offer her another part, but don't worry, she won't replace you permanently so long as you continue to perform the way you have being doing.”

“I guess you're right,” I replied.

“I know I'm right,” said Emma. “If I ever get the chance to be understudy to a big name actor, I'd take it like a shot, and so should you. Do you know Anthony Hopkins got his big break when he stood in for Laurence Olivier, and Shirley MacLaine got her chance when the lead actress in a musical broke her ankle.”

“I guess I shouldn't forget I got my chance when Mary had appendicitis.”

“And look what's happened to you!” said Emma.

That certainly gave me reason to think. I could still be Harry Stow, standing in the wings and wondering why I felt so miserable and confused? I shuddered involuntarily. It didn't bear thinking about.

“While I think of it when you're in London why don't you contact Dame Emily*? She did say you should, and she might be able to steer something your way when the 'Brutus' run comes to an end.”

I blushed. “I don't really like to. I'm a beginner and she's, well she's Dame Emily. They don't come much more famous than that – think of all those films she's been in, and all the plays as well.”

“Well, it's your call, but this is the life of an actor if that's what you want to do. You do a show, it comes to an end and then you try for something else. You've been lucky so far, but you'll get audition knock-backs too. You don't want to be 'resting' for months at a time do you?”

“Emma, why didn't you go to London or another big city to try your luck?” I asked.

“In a word – 'money',” she replied. “Mum was supportive of my dream to act, but after Dad died, you were still at school, and Mum was on a small pension, so we needed me to make a steady income. The Apollo Players has been a life-saver for me. If it wasn't for them, I'd be doing an office job somewhere. I couldn't risk that for searching for roles and maybe not finding anything, I still can't.”

I had never realised that before and I gave her a big hug.

“Thanks, Sis. I don't think I've ever really appreciated all you've done for us. I do hope you get your chance at the big time.”

Emma's eyes were filled with tears but she managed a smile. “Well, it looks like my little sister may be leap-frogging over me at present.”

“Don't say that,” I replied. “I'm beginning to think I look like a 'one-trick pony' at present. I need to prove that I can do more than one role.”

“You will, I know you will,” she replied.

“I've managed to save quite a bit of money during the Apollo run, and I want to make a contribution to the household expenses. Can we have a meeting with Mum to discuss what I should pay?”

“Sure,” she said. “You're a good kid you know?”

I blushed. “I'm going to earn even more in this new production, so I can contribute more.”

“You'll have bigger expenses too; £140 a week board, and don't forget six trips a week by taxi back to Louise's house. You can't take public transport at night, it's too dangerous for a young girl. Say that's £15 a night by six – that's £90, so £230 already, and there will be more expenses. Why don't we play it by ear for a while and see how things go?”

We did have a family meeting and Mum didn't want to take any money from me while I was away in London, but I managed to persuade her that I should make a contribution to the household, and we agreed on a sum.

“You’ve kept me for so long, it's only fair that I now pay something towards your expenses,” I said.

Saturday was a day for packing. I now had a reasonable amount of my own clothing, and Emma had found a few more things of hers that I might like to have. She even made me a present of the emerald green cocktail dress I had worn in London.

“I know you love it,” she said. “And you'll get more use out of it that I will.”

I gave her a hug, partly so she couldn't see the tears start in my eyes. How lucky was I to have such a wonderful and generous sister?

That evening, Mum and I went along to see her in the new Apollo production “A Life”. I wanted to see a performance, and it was another excuse to dress up. Emma did very well, and I was pleased to see Mary doing an excellent job in her part. I still couldn't get over this lingering feeling of guilt about taking over her part in “Brutus”. It's silly I know, but I guess that's me.

I was up early the next morning for breakfast as Reggie was going to call at nine o-clock to drive us back to London. When he drew up outside our house I saw he was driving a Ford Mondeo. Thank goodness he had more foresight than me, as my two large suitcases plus a bag would have been a tight fit in the little Clio we had hired the last time he drove up to Bridchester.

Mum welcomed him into our home with a smile.

“I've made you a Thermos flask of tea and some sandwiches, cake, milk and cups in a cool bag for when you take a break,” she said. “I know those motorway services are very expensive. You can at least park there and use their toilets at no charge.”

“Thanks, Mum, you're a star,” I said, kissing her on the cheek.

“Now you behave yourself in London,” she said, and I knew she was trying not to cry. After all her baby was heading off to the big city on her own.

“Don't you worry about Harriet, Mrs Stow, I'll keep an eye on her,” said Reggie.

“And so will Louise and her family,” I added. “There's no chance of me getting into trouble.”

I hope that went some way to reassure her, but nevertheless there were tears in both her eyes and mine when we hugged and said “Au revoir, not goodbye.”

Reggie loaded up my luggage which filled the car boot, and then I waved to Mum as we drove away. Reggie saw the tears in my eyes.

“I'll drive you up anytime you like,” he said.

“Than you Reggie, you're the best friend anyone could have,” I replied.

For those not familiar with the English road system, most of our journey was along the A1(M). The A1 as its designation sounds was once the major road from London heading north and now consists in part of dual carriageway, with some sections being upgraded to a motorway with extra traffic lanes. After about two hours driving, it was time for a break, so we pulled into the car park of one of the services and ate our sandwiches and cake and drank our tea. We took turns to go to the toilet so one of us was at all times in the car for security. It also served to stretch our legs. I'm not saying that theft from cars or the cars themselves is rife, but it pays to be cautious.

As we set off again, Reggie said: “Do you know what they call cool bags in New Zealand?”

I had no idea. “Well we've got a New Zealand girl currently working at the bank and she told us they're called 'chilly bins', or the way she said it was more like 'chully buns',” he said doing his best to mimic a New Zealand accent.

“Well I'm sure English accents sound strange to them,” I said.

“Oh yes. She said she can't believe the number of different accents in such a small country and how we can usually guess roughly where the person comes from.”

“Well I've had to play down my ‘Yorkshire accent’ since I came to London,” I said and wished I hadn't mentioned it since we both went silent for a minute and I knew we were both thinking about Samantha, that horrible girl we met at the London Eye.

As we got closer to London it was still only mid-afternoon and I hoped Reggie might suggest something to prolong our time together.

“What time is Louise expecting you?” he said eventually.

“I don't know, probably not until early evening,” I replied.

“Well, we're near the turn-off to the M25. Would you like us to call in at my flat for a while; I could even make you some tea if you like.”

“Oh, that would be lovely!” I said enthusiastically. I was in no rush to part company with Reggie before I had to, and it seemed he felt the same way.

About thirty minutes later we pulled up outside his flat.

“We can leave the suitcases in the boot. I'm sure they'll be safe there,” he said.

We entered the flat and I was pleased to see it was still very tidy.

“Richard's away for the weekend but he'll be back this evening,” he remarked.

It was too early to eat yet, so Reggie suggested I sit in the lounge while he made us both a cup of tea. I sat on the couch, and Reggie returned a few minutes later with two cups of tea which he placed on the small wooden table in front of the couch.

“This is nice,” I said snuggling up to him. He smiled at me and bent his head to kiss me. Perhaps it's no surprise that the kisses intensified as we embraced, and when Reggie took my hand and said: “Shall we?” I was only too ready to be led into his bedroom. Since this is not an “X” rated memoir, I leave it to my readers to surmise what took place, and will merely say that it was to our great mutual satisfaction. Being with a man as masculine and handsome as Reggie served to convince me once again how much I already felt like a female, and how much I wanted to present as one in every way possible and as soon as possible.

Afterwards, we slept for a while, and when we returned to the lounge-room, there were two cold cups of tea sitting on the table! Reggie set about making us tea which consisted of an omelet since he hadn't planned ahead and the refrigerator was rather bare. It didn't matter to me, as being made by him it tasted better than the finest fare from a five-star restaurant.

About seven o'clock we went back to the car and drove to Louise's house at Wood Green. Before we got out of the car we kissed once more.

“Thank you for everything Reggie. I've had the most perfect day.”

“What can I say, Harriet? You are a wonderful girl, and I couldn't wish for a better girl-friend.”

He extracted my suitcases from the boot and I carried my bag as we walked up the path to the front door. Louise opened it and said “Hello Harriet, how was your trip down?”

“Fine thank you Louise. I'd like to introduce my friend Reggie who drove me down.”

I couldn't help noticing how Louise looked at Reggie. He has that effect on women, but I wasn't worried as I knew he was mine.

“Hello Mrs Burton, it's nice to meet you,” said Reggie.

Louise was actually blushing as she laughed (it was more like a giggle) and said “It's nice to meet you too Reggie. Harriet has mentioned how kind you've been driving her up and down to Bridchester.”

'Dammit, she's flirting with my boyfriend,' I thought.

“By the way, your mum just rang to see if you'd arrived,” said Louise.

“I'll give her a call,” I said. “We stopped off for some tea.” I didn't feel the need to go into details! Louise hadn't mentioned anything about a meal, and I hadn’t wanted to put her to the trouble anyway.

“May I help Harriet upstairs with her suitcases, Mrs Burton?” asked Reggie.

“Of course,” she replied. “Anthony will help you too.”

I was glad of that as they were quite heavy. Once they were placed in my room, Reggie said he had better get going as he had work in the morning. I walked him to the car and we kissed goodnight. I promised to let him know if I had Saturday off, otherwise we would meet on Sunday.

As he drove off, I stood and watched the car until he turned the corner. Silly though it seems, I suddenly felt rather alone. Last time, Emma had been with me, and even though Louise and her family were very nice people, they weren't my family. Thank goodness for Reggie.

I went up to my new bedroom and started to unpack.

To be continued

I would like to acknowledge the assistance of Louise Anne in proofreading the text and giving me a great deal of useful advice about modern-day Britain to incorporate in the story.

* Dame Emily Good is a pseudonym I have chosen for the famous actor that Harriet, Emma and their mother met on the London Underground and later when she came to see a performance of “Dear Brutus”.