I would kinda like to talk about depression for a moment.
See, I get two very different types of depression, that have very different effects on me, although neither one is fun.
The first type is sadness. "The Blues". When I get this type, I just want to curl up and cry myself to sleep.
But the second type is even worse - anger directed inward, otherwise called self-hate.
That one is more dangerous because if I stay that way too long, I might succumb to the notion that everyone would be better off without me.
Fortunately, I have some weapons in my fight against either type, including faith, my medication, and you guys.
Yes, you guys and gals reading this are incredibly valuable in my struggle.
So I wanted to thank everyone who reads this blog, especially those who have sent supportive messages to me.
I'm very blessed to have you.
Comments
We are blessed to have you too
Don't believe the lies of the depression. Everyone around will lose a lot without you.
Lies depression tells you
When I feel this way, I read Anne Theriault's post Ten Lies Depression Tells You
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Another thing I do when I'm depressed is to read TG stories. Yours are among my favorites.
thank you!
glad my stories help!
Solving Depression
OK girl, about depression. I was borderline depressed as a child. Was it because dear old stepdaddy wouldn't let me be a girl, or is my chemistry just that way? I have no idea. After I left home, I was always sort of an updown girl, trying to act like John Wayne. I've been in and out of a psych ward more than 7 times, the first time was padded and I was only let out with a handler. The real issue is that I thought everyone else would come to their senses and things would get better.
Late last fall, after enduring another sadistic session with my son, I finally told him I never wanted to hear from him again, and that left me totally shattered and in tears. In a few weeks I began to feel better and over time I realized that I had totally given up on him, religion, and lots of other situations that had been painful for years.
I don't know, I'm not sure but perhaps I have found the key? Maybe I just had to give up on changing anyone else. Perhaps self loathing comes from not getting what you need from others thus validating you, so maybe you also just need to give up on others and be your own woman. Maybe none of this will make sense to you until you give up.
Gwen