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Yes, I know. It's been a long time, and about that I will only say, depression is an evil affliction, lifting for a few days to a few weeks of blessed lucidity, only to return with renewed vigor. Much like the party guest who lingers well into the wee hours--the more you want him to leave, the more determined he is to stay.
Fortunately, in my lucid periods I did have a large backlog of ideas, so expect them to start appearing in future Mixed Tapes, if Hutcho will be so kind as to accept them.
It seems more and more in the last couple of years, I find it difficult to sleep--and when I do sleep, it's anything but refreshing. Sleep deprivation fogs my thinking and kills my creativity, but ironically, getting more sleep only makes things worse. For the first hour after waking, my mind is nonfunctional, and I cannot remember simple things (such as the names of my friends and caregivers). Writing requires a level of mental acuity that I'm finding harder and harder to reach. It's become so that I worry I may be becoming prematurely senile.
So I'm back, for now. But I can't guarantee how long I'll stay.
Comments
biggest huggles, hon
HUGS!
Glad to have you back
I know from first hand experience about the big D. That is why I write my stories. I have always enjoyed your musings, can't wait for any new entries.
Hugs
Francesca
- Formerly Turnabout Girl
I have to ask a medical question.
Have you been tested for sleep apnea or other sleep disorders?
you are describing some of the symptoms of sleep apnea, I know I have it.
I have for many years had an issue where in the morning I am not the instant rise and shine type, I need a while when I wake up in morning to as I usually say let my motor warm up before it functions with my brain.
the issue is still there but less because I have to use a BPAP machine at night, it basically keeps my airway from collapsing while I sleep and making my body wake up to breath. Some look at me and go its my weight, nope pure heredity, My 2 brothers, father, and his sister, and their father all have or had, while they were alive, sleep apnea. So I would go see a doctor if you can and ask questions. Sleep apnea is known to affect depression and a whole host of medical issues.
So if you have never been tested please see if you can.
"Cortana is watching you!"
I have been tested...
...because it was one of the first things I suspected as well. Unfortunately, being tested required the following: sleeping in a strange bed, on my back, with a series of wires and electrodes attached to my head. If I slept at all that night, it was only briefly. Consequently, they never found evidence of sleep apnea.
Livin' A Ragtime Life,
Rachel