Mommy, mommy what am I doing in a hospital
By Princess Pantyboy

Me, Kelly 9-year old boy
Beth 17-year-old big sister
Miley 5 -year-old little sister

“Mommy, mommy what am I doing in a hospital?” I look around seeing a blanket and pillow on the chair next to the bed when I see my mommy walk into my hospital room.

Before mommy even responds she screams and comes over and grabs me off the bed and is hugging and kissing me like she hasn’t seen me in years. Momma hugs me, so tight I feel my long hair falling in my eyes. I brush it away with my hand.

“Oh my god, oh my god my baby has come back to me.” Mommy says while she hugs me so tight I can barely breathe. What the heck is going on? Why is mommy so freaked out? I mean I seen her before I went to school on my skateboard and ummmm. I don’t remember anything until I just woke up here in the hospital.

I wonder what is going on. I feel normal my hands look okay maybe a little skinner probably from skipping breakfast all the time and now I am in the hospital. “I thought you would be gone forever sweetie, god is so awesome to bring you back to me and your sisters.”

“Okay, okay mommy what are you talking about what happen to me? I mean I just seen you this morning and you yelled at me for waking up late and skipping breakfast again.”

Mommy starts to cry again this time putting her hands in front of her face crying hysterically. “Oh know your last memory is of me yelling at you that is so sad if you passed away like all the doctors said was going to happen that would be your last memory of me.”

“What? why would the doctors say I was going to pass away I look exactly the same except maybe I lost a few pounds I do feel smaller like I lost weight.” I look at mommy rubbing her eyes and starting to calm down. “Wait a minute do I have some kind of bad disease and I am going to die in like ten minutes?” Oh, this sucks what happen to me, as mommy isn't responding I start to get very nervous.

I see mommy take tissues out of her purse and wipe her eyes. “No, no sweetie you’re not going to die in ten minute don’t be silly.”

“Okay so I am going to die in a week and they forgot to tell me that a week ago?” Mommy actually starts to laugh at my little joke.

I feel mommy take my hand. “No sweetie you are not going to die anytime soon lord willing that is. I have been praying for you nonstop for the past four months.” I think I stopped breathing trying to figure out what she is talking about. “You see sweetie you were on your skateboard going to school when a car hit you and ummmm that was four months ago.”

“You have been in a coma four just over four months, look how long your hair is now sweetie.” I see mommy turn me towards the wall mirror as I sit up in bed with her sitting next to me. My hair is a lot longer past my shoulders now and it is parted in the middle and still looks like it is all one length. “Do you remember we had a long discussion and I agreed to let you grow your hair long, as long as you take care of it?”

I remember back and yes, I do remember, which makes me feel much more relaxed. “Yes mommy that was last night, or I guess that was over four months ago. I do remember it was not actually a discussion. It was more you yelling and screaming that I needed to get my haircut or you were going to cut all my hair off in my sleep.” I reach up to make sure my hair is all the same length and mommy didn’t start to cut all my hair off and I had some kind of a heart attack and I went into a coma for four months.

“Yes I guess you are right I was very mean then, and I am truly sorry sweetie you can have your hair as long as you want okay sweetie?”

I smile hearing that but for some reason mommy keeps calling me sweetie I wonder what is up with that she used to only call my little sisters that and well actually she also called my older sister that too. I am so sorry sweetie that you only have bad memories, but I will change that for the better I promise. The doctor is coming here any second and she can explain everything in better detail sweetie okay?”

“Umm no mommy it’s not okay what happen to me if it’s not some disease?” I am sorry, I guess I can tell you, a car hit you and everyone thought you were going to die, and I prayed and your sisters prayed so much that you would be okay.” Wow, I don’t know how to respond to that. I mean I am only 9 years-old and I almost didn’t make it to 10 years-old. “But the doctor will have to tell you the rest since I have a hard time understanding all the medical talk.”

Well that is not good I mean I am only 9 years-old last week or I guess four months plus a week ago and now I am going to understand doctor talk better than my mommy does. This is not looking very good.

“Your sisters and I stayed in your hospital room nonstop for the first two weeks. We were taking turns sleeping but with you not having any response at all I told your sisters they had to go back to school. Than we started coming every day after school, than it was once a week and then last night I fell asleep on the chair and I left to go use the ladies room and when I came back you were wide awake and smiling.”

I start to get nervous for not knowing what the heck happen for the past four months besides my hair getting a lot longer and me getting skinnier. I guess that is tough since I was super skinny before the accident anyway. I am guessing it is pretty normal to lose weight and have my hair grow in four months of not moving. That is probably why I not only look skinnier but look like all my muscles are gone too.

“Well it looks like our little one has woken up, that is great. My name is Dr. Hendrix. How are you feeling sweetie?” I am staring at the doctor and she seems pretty nice but something is still off.

I had better answer her or she will probably give me a needle or some kind of medicine. Doctors seem to not know what is going on they just try one thing than if that doesn’t work they try another until something works. At least that is what they did when I had the flu.

“I’m okay I just woke up and seen my mommy and I am trying to figure out why I am in the hospital. Can you tell me Dr. Hendrix?” I stare at the doctor and she looks like she is thinking about something. Probably thinking how to tell me, I have some crazy disease and I am going to die any minute.

The doctor walks over to the end of the bed; she sits on the edge, and takes my hand. “Okay little one I am guessing your mommy hasn’t told you what happen to you. Don’t be mad at her she was instructed to not tell you anything if you woke up from your coma.” Oh no here it comes the bad news I am going to die in like five minutes she is going to say.

“You were in a very bad auto accident while you were riding your skateboard to school.” I see her look down, she is reading from the clipboard she is holding with her free hand. “No one really thought you would ever come out of a coma. You had multiple broken bones when you came here over four months ago including both your legs, both your arms. On your face your nose was broken and had to be re-structured and it is kind of smaller, and more to a point than rounded now according to your mommy.”

I don’t say anything but I do feel mommy sit down on the other side of my bed and takes my other hand smiling softly at me. Mommy looks more like she wants to cry like she is remembering how messed up I was four months ago. I turn and look back at the doctor. “So you are saying that my body is all healed up and back to normal except my nose is a little smaller and pointier. I don’t have any kind of disease?”

“Well yes and no sweetie. No you don’t have any disease, and yes we fixed everything we were able to fix except some of your Ummm injuries were not able to be fixed and had to Ummm be removed so they didn’t affect the rest of your body.”

I lift up both my arms and let go of mommy and the doctor’s hands and look at my hands and fingers. I lift my legs up and move the blanket off of them. “Well my legs look the same I guess maybe a little thinner. My arms and hands both look the same maybe they are thinner too but they work right doctor?”

“Yes sweetie your arms and hands any your legs and toes are normal except they lost a lot of muscle and are much weaker. You will still have full function in all your limbs sweetie you just won't be as strong as some of the kids your age.”

I look closer to my hands and I don’t see anything wrong except I do feel weaker which is way better than having a disease that is going to kill me. “So that’s it I am just weaker now than the other boy's my age miss doctor?” I start to feel more relaxed thinking she has told me the worst. Oh, know this is not good the doctor is looking at my mommy and she is starting to cry softly. I feel mommy take my hand again and give me a gentle squeeze.

“Ummm well no sweetie like I said we couldn’t fix everything and Umm well had to be removed.” I look at her with a question look on my face not knowing what she is talking about I feel good and everything looks the same on me. I see the doctors eyes move towards between my legs. I turn fast and see mommy staring between my legs, I lift the hospital gown up exposing what is between my legs.

I stare and see it is a diaper. “Why do I have a diaper on? Did you remove whatever it is inside me that lets me go potty, is that what is wrong I have to wear a diaper forever now?” I start to cry softly.

“Ummm no sweetie we do expect you to gain control over going to the bathroom. You will have to be potty trained but you should not have to wear diapers after that. You are in diapers now because you were in a coma and your body still has to go potty so you being so small for your age diapers are the best option.”

Well that is a relief thinking to myself. “Okay than ummmm what was so messed up you couldn’t fix and you had to remove it?” Mommy has larger tears pouring down her face but she is still smiling softly while she squeezes my hand.

I watch as the doctor stares into my eyes. “We had to remove your male organs because of the massive damage done to them. We had to do a total scrotum removal including the testes. The penis was so damaged all that was left to do was to re-structure your damaged penis so it could be used as a vagina.”

“What, umm does that mean my, umm removed my male organs mommy.” I turn looking into mommy's eyes watching small tears dripping down her face.

Mommy puts both her hands on my cheeks and looks me in the eyes. “You are going to be okay sweetie you will just have to sit down to go potty from now on. You won't be able to stand to pee because your little penis is gone.”

“It’s gone you mean I have nothing between my legs mommy?” I reach under my hospital gown and pull the diaper off and sure enough my balls and penis are gone and I now have a little slit. I am only 9-years old so I never seen a vagina before so I didn’t know what I was looking at.

Mommy is also staring between my legs. “See sweetie you will be okay, you now have a vagina down between your legs just like mommy and your sisters.” What is she saying just like her and my sisters, they are girl's does that mean, thinking to myself I am a girl too? No way, no way!

“What does that mean you and my sisters are girls. Does that mean I am a girl too mommy? Please no mommy says no mommy please.” I start to cry with both my hands covering my face.

I feel mommy rubbing my shoulders. “I am sorry this happen to you sweetie. Your body is a girl's now but you can be whomever you want to be right doctor?”

“Oh yes sweetie you can be whatever you want. I was a tomboy all the way, up until I started medical school. I never wore dresses or skirts and I kept my hair short.” I look up at the doctor trying to figure out what is happening and what I can do.

I look up at mommy. “Did you tell Miley and Beth that I am now an Ummm? That I have the body of a girl like them?” I look into mommy's eyes praying to god that she didn’t tell them or anyone.

“Oh no sweetie I didn’t tell anyone. The only people that know are Dr. Hendrix and I. All the nurses think you were born a girl that is why you have a pink hospital gown. When your sisters were visiting they asked why you wore a pink one and I told them this is the girl's wing and the boy's wing

I know your mommy has told you that you are small for your size before the accident but since the accident you are much smaller, you are 9-years-old but your body is more the size of a six-year-old sweetie.

“Great so before everyone made fun of me because I was the smallest boy in the school now I am even smaller? This is so messed up, but at least my sisters don’t know I am umm a gir...Ummm I don’t have any boy parts, and mommy you swear you won't them right?”

I stare at mommy waiting for a response. “Of course sweetie I won't tell your sisters but they are going to notice that you’re smaller and much skinner or more petite, I would say was a better word.”

“I know mommy I can't hide being smaller but I can hide being a gir... Ummm not having any boy parts anymore okay mommy?”

Mommy squeezes my hand and moves the long hair out of my eyes as we talk. “Like I said sweetie I won’t tell them anything until you are ready okay?” Mommy says while smiling at me.

“Okay but I maybe not be ever ready I don’t want to be a girl I like or liked being a boy and doing boy stuff like play soccer and baseball and all that stuff I am just smaller.”

Dr. Hendrix takes my other hand again and squeezes it. “Don’t worry sweetie girls can do all that stuff too. I played soccer and baseball when I was a little girl like you.”

“That’s right sweetie you can do anything you want nothing really changes since you’re a girl now.” I hear mommy saying I am a girl like it is no big deal. “Oh doctor will SHE have HER period like other girls when SHE is older?”

Oh that is so messed up mommy called me a ‘she’ and a ‘her’ thinking to myself. I look at mommy than at Dr. Hendrix when she starts responding. “Oh yes SHE will have HER period just like the other girls that will be in HER class or in HER age group.” This is not good both of them are saying ‘girl’ and ‘her’ like it is no big deal. Oh, my god I am really a girl, I am only going to do boy stuff for the rest of my life. I am never going to wear dresses or skirts and no way will I play with dolls or Barbie’s except it does look fun when my little sister was playing Barbie's, thinking to myself while I listen to mommy and Dr. Hendrix.

“Are you okay sweetie.” The doctor says while staring at me. “You look like you are in deep thought.”

I look up at Dr. Hendrix and smile. “Ummm yea I’m as good as I can be waking up and finding out I am a girl now.” I say I am a girl aloud for the first time as both mommy and Dr. Hendrix smile at me but I am ready to cry but I don’t want to act like the little girl I am and look like now.

“You are both saying I can be anything or anyone I want to be but you are both referring to me as a ‘she’ or ‘her’ and you keep calling me ‘sweetie’. Mommy you never called me sweetie before the accident you only called my sisters that.”

Both mommy and the doctor sit up and look at each other. “Okay sweet… I mean Ummm Kelly I will try to be more careful okay sweetie?” I look at her as she says ‘sweetie’ to me again. “I mean okay?” Mommy says while correcting herself.

“So Dr. Hendrix when can SHE go home, SHE says SHE feels fine?” I hear mommy saying totally ignoring my response with them calling me a ‘she’ and ‘her’.

I shake my head while I listen to them talking. “Well we know ‘SHE’ is healthy and I see no reason for her not to be able to go home in the morning.” The doctor says totally ignoring my ‘she and her’ comments, this is going to be a long day.

“Oh that is so great. Did you hear the doctor sweetie you can go home in the morning that is so great?” mommy says while running her fingers through my long hair keeping the hair out of my eyes. “Oh I wish I had a hair tie I always hated your hair falling in your eyes sweetie.”

I turn and see mommy smiling while she is playing with my hair. “Oh I keep an extra one around my wrist Ms. Taylor here you can have mine.” I don’t see the hair tie the doctor gave mommy. “Mommy my hair is fine you don’t have to fix it.”

“Oh sweetie don’t worry this will only take a moment.” I see mommy pull a brush out of her purse as she brushes my hair real quick and puts the hair tie in my hair. “Oh that is much better don’t you think Dr. Hendrix?” I look at mommy smiling.

Dr. Hendrix turns and looks back at me. “Oh yes that does make HER hair look much prettier.” Great now my hair is prettier instead of hansom or some boy term.

“Ummm doctor, Umm can I use the bathroom I need to go potty I think?” I sit up in bed asking Dr. Hendrix.

The doctor moves all the blanket off me and I look down seeing my new vagina on total view as I look up at mommy smiling as she stares between my legs and the doctor is smiling also until I pull my pink hospital gown covering my new privates. “Here ya go sweetie, this is actually one of the things we need to check is that it doesn’t hurt to go potty before you leave the hospital that you can go potty.”

“Oh okay I guess.” I lean over and climb out of the bed standing next to mommy and I see for the first time how much shorter I look. I want to cry but I don’t want them to see me acting like a baby or a toddler like I must look like.

I feel mommy take my hand, we walk into the bathroom. I see in the mirror that my hair is up in a high ponytail and the hair tie is bright pink. I just shake my head not knowing how to respond to looking even more like a really little girl. “Okay sweetie before you sit down on the toilet pull your panties down, oh silly me you don’t have any panties on yet. So just pull your pretty hospital gown up and then sit on the toilet okay sweetie?”

“Mommy I may look the size of a toddler but I am not a baby I still am 9-years-old ya know.” I say but I regret it right away when I see mommy give me a stern look. I am glad Dr. Hendrix is here or I might have got a spanking for talking back to mommy.

I stop talking and do as I am told and I look up and see mommy again staring between my legs and staring at my new vagina. I start to go potty and you can hear it squirting into the toilet. “Oh that feels better mommy.” I start to get up when I hear mommy say stop.

“Stop sweetie being a girl now you have to use a little piece of toilet paper and wipe your new vagina. It is because when you were a boy you just shook your little penis so the last little drops fell off so now you have to finish going potty likes a big girl now okay sweetie.”

I ignore mommy’s comments about her calling me a girl I guess because it is true I am a girl now. I will kid with mommy and act girly and see if she sees I am teasing her. “Yes mommy I want to be a big girl so I will go potty like a good little girl for mommy.”

“That’s a good girl sweetie.” That is so messed up mommy didn’t even get it that I was teasing her as she responded saying I was being a good girl. I shake my head standing up pulling my pink hospital gown over my privates.

I take mommy's hand as we walk back to my bed not realizing I took her hand like I was a small child needing their mommy's help. “Okay hop back up in bed sweetie let mommy help you.” Before I can even react mommy picks me up, and puts me gently down on my bed and straightens my gown and puts the covers back over me.

“Oh one more thing before I leave Ms. Taylor.” I see mommy turn towards the doctor. “Make sure you bring HER some clothes in the morning or SHE will be leaving in her pink hospital gown okay? The clothes she was wearing were ripped to shreds during the accident.”

Mommy and I look at the doctor. “Okay Dr. Hendrix I will bring my little sweetie some new clothes.” Great I had better make sure momma doesn’t get carried away with clothes for me like she buys my sisters whom are both girly girl's in every way especially with their clothes.

“Make sure you don’t bring me some kind of dresses or skirts mommy. Remember we are hiding that I am a girl now, I mean that I am not a boy anymore.”

Mommy puts her hands on her hips, which is never a good sign as she stares down at me. “I know sweetie I will bring you some of your clothes, no dresses this time.” I turn hearing mommy's comments about no dress this time. “Just kidding sweetie relax you get to go home tomorrow I am so happy.”

“Ms. Taylor it might be a good idea for little Kelly to get some rest for her big trip home in the morning so we should leave and let her rest okay?” I hear the doctor saying to mommy as I see them smiling at each other.

Mommy gives me a kiss on the forehead. “You are so right and sweeties make sure you get some rest I will find your old clothes because you won't be able to fit into your regular clothes because of you being smaller now okay sweetie?”

“Yes mommy I am kind of tired and think I will take a nap.” I yawn feeling very relaxed.

The doctor reaches over to the table and picks up a pink diaper. “Do you want to do the honors or I can have the nurses do it since they have been changing her for four months.”

“No I will do it Dr. Hendrix.” I see mommy take the pink diaper. “Thank you so much for bringing my baby back to me doctor.” I see mommy start to tear up as she hugs the doctor.

The doctor leaves, mommy pulls up the blanket and pulls up my hospital gown. I see her staring at my vagina. “Okay sweetie lift your bottom up for momma like a big girl, I mean boy, sorry sweetie.” I do as I am told but she still called me sweetie, I need to act more like a big boy instead of looking and acting like a little girl. I play with my long ponytail as mommy is smiling looking at me for some reason.

“Oh yes that’s a good girl now put your bottom down and I will put a little baby powder on you so you don’t get a rash sweetie.” I feel the cool baby powder and I ignore her saying I am a good girl while she tapes the diaper over me. “Oh sweetie I better put these plastic panties on over the diaper just to make sure if you have an accident you don’t wet through the diaper and wet the bed okay sweetie?”

I look down as she puts my legs through the holes in the pink plastic panties they are so girly with pictures of little princesses all over them. “Do I really need them momma I didn’t have them on when I woke up?” that is so messed up I just realized I called her momma like my little sister calls mommy.

“Yes sweetie we don’t want to take any chances with you wetting the bed so be a good girl, I mean boy and get some rest sweetie.” Mommy finishes putting the super girly plastic panties on me and pulls my pink nightie or hospital gown over me.

The blankets being pulled over me make me feel even more relaxed when momma kisses me on the forehead before she leaves. “Get some rest sweetie I love you and I will be here bright and early to pick you up sweetie. Night, night princess.” What did she call me? Oh, whatever I am so tired, I fall asleep.

The end of part one

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Princess Pantyboy

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