Pulling the still-hot load of towels out of the dryer, Nina piled it into the laundry basket. Taking a towel off the top, she started folding.

        Christina took the next one, folded it, and placed it on the stack they were building on top of the dryer.

        "Thanks for helping out with my chores," said Nina.

        Christina responded, "Your chores are my chores."

        "In that case, do you want to write my history report?" Nina joked.

        "No," Christina laughed, "But if you need help, which I doubt you do, I'd be happy to go to the library with you."

        Christina had spent the entire morning with Nina. Christina was wearing her favorite jeans and a new pair of Keds. On top, she wore a simple white cotton camisole, wreathed in lace, covered by a light yellow cardigan sweater. When Christina helped Nina get dressed this morning, she again searched desperately for a pair of jeans in Nina's closet in spite of her protests that she owned no such garment. It was at that point that Christina resolved to buy her cousin jeans for Christmas.

        Christina eventually had to settle on a jean skirt for Nina. Both of them were wearing kerchiefs in their hair. Christina had taken to wearing one whenever she did housework. Since her hair had grown to her shoulders, she found it nearly impossible to get any work done unless it was held back in some fashion. Nina did not usually wear anything in her hair, she just wanted to dress like her older cousin.

        Christina had also grown fond of coordinating her clothes with Nina. She felt a wonderful sense of belonging when she looked into that smaller, younger face that looked so much like her own. Even though Christina felt accepted by everyone as a girl, she still harbored the fear of discovery in the back of her mind. The only time she felt completely safe was when she was alone with Nina. After all, it was Nina who had done her hair and makeup on her first day as a girl. The girls had made a special connection that day; Nina so very much wanted Christina as her sister that Christina fell naturally into the role. When she was alone with Nina, she was wholly Christina Chase, without reservation or fear. Christina cherished these moments. She knew that she could not continue to masquerade as a girl forever, but when she was with Nina, time was immaterial.

        The pile of folded towels teetered uncertainly as Nina placed the last clean towel on top. Nina took the stack folded towels and put them back into the clothes basket as Christina pulled the next sodden load out of the washer and shoveled it into the dryer. After Christina started the dryer, Nina hopped up onto it and sat down.

        "Where were you all last night?" Nina asked.

        Christina slid onto the washing machine next to Nina and responded, "I went over to Steph's to watch a movie. We went out to eat after she did my hair. We had a pretty good time ... I guess she got me a little drunk," Christina laughed. "You know she likes Andrei right?"

        "It's completely obvious, isn't it? The only person who doesn't know is Andrei."

        "Well," Christina explained, brushing some lint off the side of her thigh, "I sort of promised her I would set her up on a date with your brother ..."

        "Good luck!" Nina exclaimed. "I can count the number of dates Andrei's been on with one hand."

        "Is he shy or something?"

        "How would I know? Andrei talks to you more than me."

        "Really?" Christina asked in shock. Once she broke the ice with Andrei, he was always there for her. It seemed odd that he and Nina didn't talk. "I guess I didn't notice."

        Nina let out a large sigh and said, "Andrei wasn't always so moody. I don't really remember the day Anastasia died, but I remember what things were like afterwards. It was like everything was broken, and it wasn't ever going to be okay again."

        "What do you mean by broken?"

        "I guess it was like ... I don't know exactly ... it's just that things were different ... in a really bad way."

        Christina remembered the awkwardness of having dinner with her mother in the months following her father's death. It was a bizarre unreality to sit at a table for two which had once been for three. She and her mother were living in a bad dream, but the knowledge that her father would never again sit with them had transformed that bad dream to an undeniable truth. There was a hole in their lives that would never again be filled. Christina understood that kind of pain all too well. She'd sensed it in her uncle, but until this point, she never saw it in Nina.

        "After the funeral," Nina continued, "Andrei went into his room and didn't come back out. He didn't leave the house ... he barely ate ... He missed so much school that year that they made him go to summer school, or else they were going to make him repeat the tenth grade. Dad was just the opposite. He started acting like nothing happened. He took down all the pictures of Anastasia and put them in the attic. He didn't even want to talk about her. I don't even know how she died, exactly. All Dad would ever say was it was a car accident, and then he wouldn't say anything else about it."

        Christina knew all to well the last moments of Anastasia's life. Her uncle's retelling of that night would haunt her for the rest of her days.

        "Andrei and Dad would yell at each other all the time," Nina explained. "One day, they just stopped. I mean they just stopped EVERYTHING. They didn't yell ... or talk ... or anything."

        "They seem okay now," Christina offered.

        "Well, they're better. But they're not okay. Not like they used to be."

        "What about your mom?"

        "Mom," Nina continued, "She was so sad, but she tried not to show it. Sometimes, I saw her crying in the kitchen when she thought no one could see her. I asked her one time why God would take Anastasia away from us, and she told me that she didn't know, but we had to have faith that there was a reason. I don't know what we were supposed to have faith in, but I know that she meant it."

        "Yeah she said something like that to me once. I didn't get it either, but I think maybe she was right." She put her arm around Nina's shoulder, trying to console her. "I know that it's hard to lose somebody. At least you got through it alright."

        Christina meant that to be comforting, but her heart sank when Nina looked down between her dangling feet. "What's wrong?"

        "I don't always remember Anastasia. I mean, I remember her, but sometimes, I can't remember everything I should."

        Christina pulled Nina against her bosom and held her tightly. "How old were you when she died? Ten?"

        "Nine," Nina corrected.

        "That's really young, Nina. It doesn't mean you don't love her. I ..." Christina faltered, "I can't always remember everything about my father, either." Christina had never admitted that to another living soul. It was her deepest shame, but she hoped that sharing it with Nina would spare her cousin from the guilt she felt.

        Nina looked up into Christina's eyes and asked, "Really?"

        Christina nodded. "Yeah. But you shouldn't feel bad. We always remember the people we love. It's just that those memories aren't always at the surface, you know? But they're still there." Christina paused then added, "Things will get better. I promise."

        Nina wiped her tears and said, "Things are already better," with lightness in her voice. "Dad is actually talking about Anastasia again. And Andrei ... I dunno ... I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. Everything is better now that you're here."

        "I ..." Christina choked, "I can't replace her ..."

        "I know. I don't think you are. I mean, I don't think things will ever be like they used to be, but having you around is different, too. But better different."

        Nina hopped off the dryer and picked up the basket of towels. The girls took the clean towels up to the hall closet on the second floor. As they stacked the towels in the closet, Christina remarked, "So, you were at David's pretty late last night I hear." Christina's voice was a mixture of playfulness and concern.

        "Yeah ..." Nina answered dreamily.

        "You've been seeing him for a while ... are things getting serious?"

        "I like David a lot."

        "And David likes you a lot too?"

        "I think so. He always wants to see me. And he's always nice to me at school. And ..." Nina trailed off, unsure if she should continue.

        "And what?"

        Nina looked around to see whether the coast was clear. Satisfied that her mother was not lurking, Nina grabbed Christina by the hand and tugged her into her bedroom. The girls sat on Nina's bed, and Christina looked at her cousin inquisitively.

        "And what?" Christina whispered.

        "He wants to ..." Nina said in a hushed tone, "You know ... try some things."

        "What do you mean, 'things?'"

        "He uh ... he wants me to try touching it."

        "Touch it?" Christina repeated in confusion. A look of horror struck her face and she strained to maintain her whisper. "No! You can't touch ... IT! There's NO touching IT!"

        Nina was a little shocked by Christina's violent reaction. She admitted, "I told him I had to think about it." After a brief pause, she added, "I'm a little curious. I've never even seen a boy's pe-"

        Christina cut Nina of before she could even say that word. "IT! Never seen an IT!" Christina did not think she could bear to hear the word "penis" escape her younger cousin's lips.

        Nina asked, "Have you ever seen a guy's ... it?" She thought it was childish to use that word, but she could tell her cousin didn't like the p-word.

        Christina's face went crimson. "Yes," she answered honestly.

        "Have you touched one before?" Nina's spoke as though she had asked a teacher in history class why anyone would want to shoot President Lincoln. It was an innocent question that demanded a real answer.

        Christina gritted her teeth and answered, "Yeah, technically ..."

        This opened a floodgate of questions from the younger girl. "What do they look like close-up? Does it feel soft? Cindy said they're slimy. Are they slimy? Cause I think she just said that to see if I would fall for it."

        Christina's mouth hung open. She wasn't sure where to begin. She didn't want to begin at all. Before she could formulate anything resembling an answer, Nina shot more questions. "The boy you touched, was he cute? Did you like him? Did you like touching it?"

        The thought of holding some boy's penis made Christina feel sick. Immediately, her mind flashed to Andrei's cock poking her in the belly. She forced that image out of her mind and put her finger to Nina's lips. "Stop," she begged. Summoning every ounce of courage, Christina said, "Okay, I know you're curious, and that's okay. So ... Penises," Christina thought she felt the tickle of vomit at the base of her throat when she said that forbidden word, "Are kinda soft and spongy. When you ... I mean when someone ... touches ... one ... they get really hard."

        "So they aren't soft?"

        "Well yes and no. The head is still pretty soft I guess, but the rest is really hard. And they aren't slimy. Cindy was messing with you."

        Nina nodded, hungry for information.

        "But I don't want you to touch David's ..."

        "Penis." Nina completed.

        Christina put her hand over Nina's mouth, terrified that word might come out again.

        "Why not?" Nina asked. It was an innocent question from a curious girl.

        "Nina, you have to understand that boys ... they push ... and they keep pushing for more and more."

        Nina scrunched up her face trying to make sense of what her cousin was telling her.

        Christina sighed and laid everything out. "Boys want sex. All boys, and pretty much all the time. When a boy isn't saying anything, he's thinking about sex. When he's talking, there's words coming out of his mouth, but in his head- he's thinking about sex. When he goes to bed at night, he dreams about it. It's all sex all the time. And the thing about boys is they don't just think about it. They want it. All the time. And they keep pushing to get it. They escalate things. And once they get to a certain place, there's no going back."

        Nina nodded, but Christina could tell her cousin didn't get it.

        Christina said, "David wants you to touch his ..." Christina shot Nina a stopping glance to prevent her from saying the p-word again. " ... his it. But that's not where it will stop. First he'll want you to touch it. Then he'll want you to hold it. And after that, to jiggle it. It's never just touching, do you understand?"

        Nina nodded, finally grasping what her older cousin was warning her about. "So it starts with touching," Nina said, "And then they try getting more and more until you have sex with them."

        Christina let out a relieved breath. "Exactly! And you're WAY too young for that. I know you're curious, but you should wait."

        Nina thought about what Christina had said and took it to heart. The curious part of her resurfaced and asked, "The boy you touched, did you jiggle his it? Did you make it squirt?"

        Christina looked absolutely horrified. "I have never jiggled some boy's ANYTHING!"

        Nina looked up at Christina, her eyes gleaming with all sorts of questions her cousin did not want to answer.

        "Look," Christina said with an air of finality. "There is no touching David's it. No touching ANY its until you are much, much older."

        Nina nodded seriously and said, "Okay. No touching."

        Relieved to have finished that conversation, Christina went back into the hallway and picked up the clothes basket. Nina followed as the two girls went to Andrei's door. Christina opened the door and walked in, but Nina did not follow.

        "What are you doing?" Nina asked.

        "Remember? I have to set Andrei and Steph up. I thought I would get on Andrei's good side by cleaning his room."

        "I'm not allowed in there."

        "Come on, he won't mind."

        "He won't mind if you go in there. He actually likes you. If I go in there, he'll kill me."

        Christina shrugged, "Well it will be about an hour before the next load of laundry is done, you might as well take a break."

        Nina grinned and said, "Maybe I'll call David."

        Christina frowned as Nina went back to her room. She was beginning to think David was trouble. She did not like the idea of the older boy pressuring Nina to touch him. She knew that all boys were like that. She had even pushed Amy into touching her penis when they were still in high school. Still, she wouldn't let anyone pressure Nina into something she wasn't ready for.

        Closing the door behind her, Christina surveyed Andrei's room. There was so much to do; there wasn't a surface that wasn't littered by dust or half-empty cans of Coke. The floor was strewn with dirty clothes and dirt from Andrei's labors in the barn. The bed was an absolute mess, too. The covers were twisted and piled up. One pillow was shoved between the bed and the wall, and the location of the other was a mystery. It was obvious that Andrei was incapable of keeping things straight himself, and none of the other women in the house had the daring to attempt the mission.

        Christina took off her cardigan and hung it on the doorknob before diving into the task at hand. The first step was relatively easy: scoop all the dirty clothes into the clothes basket. She shivered as she picked up a pair of well worn boxer shorts. She had to remember that she loved Andrei, and she was also determined to help Steph find happiness. Surely, she could survive handing her cousin's funky drawers for that cause.

        After she'd filled the basket, she constructed two piles of clothes next to it. This is going to take multiple trips, she thought. Looking at the bed, she wondered how long It had been since last time the sheets were laundered. Misha always kept her linens deliciously clean, and the older woman had instructed Christina on the finer points of keeping house. She knew the best way to do Andrei a favor was to strip the mattress bare and clean everything.

        Christina yanked the blankets down into a large pile. She then pulled the mattress askew so she could pull the fitted sheet off of it. The side of the mattress knocked into Andrei's nightstand, causing a picture to fall. Christina picked up the picture and sat on the disheveled bed. It was the picture of the two of them from last Spring. Christina placed the picture gently back on the nightstand. Steph was all wrong about Andrei, she thought. Christina knew that Andrei thought of her as a sister, and there was the proof. She smiled at the image of them together and then went back to work.

        Christina tore off the fitted sheet with some measure of difficulty. When she had removed it entirely, she saw the corners of some glossy papers poking out from beneath the mattress. Curiously lifting up the mattress, Christina slid her hand underneath. She pulled out a stack of three old issues of Playboy magazine. Sitting on the bed, she laughed. Andrei might have been quiet, or even shy, but there was no doubt was at least aware of the opposite sex. Christina flipped through the pages of the first magazine and skipped right to the pictorial; this was not the first Playboy she'd ever seen. These days, she spent most of her time reading Cosmo or Vogue, but leafing through the adult magazine triggered a familiar routine. She became immediately aroused at the images of naked women, though her gaff prevented her from achieving a full erection. Christina unzipped her jeans and moved her hands down the front of her panties, not too unlike what the woman pictured in the magazine was doing. Spreading her legs, she tried manipulating her artificial clitoris. It provided some stimulation to her trapped penis, though not nearly enough to get her off. It was, however, more than enough sensation to force her to continue her machinations.

        Quickly finishing the first Playboy, Christina started on the second. Being trapped in a semi-aroused state was maddening; she desperately wanted to come, but she wasn't brave enough to remove her false vagina. She'd have to make do with her new parts for now. Christina's breath quickened and she tried gyrating her hips, causing the fake clitoris to grind against her hand. That was definitely better, but not anywhere good enough. She picked up the third Playboy and flipped frantically through the pages. The magazine fell open to a particular page that had a photograph wedged into the binding. Assuming it was some sort of bookmark, Christina hoped the page had something particularly good on it. She was disappointed to see that the images on that page were no more erotic than the others.

        Continuing to stimulate herself in her panties, she took out the photograph and flipped to over to reveal the picture. She immediately stopped her girlish masturbation when she saw the picture, dropping it as though it was searing hot. It fell back to the page, landing face up. It was a picture of HER! There she was, standing alone in the field of wildflowers. What portion of an erection Christina had managed instantly shriveled. She recalled all the unmatched, rolled-up sweat socks she'd stuffed into the clothes basket, and the horror of the situation washed over her. Steph was right; Andrei did have a crush on her. And furthermore, he'd been masturbating to her picture.

        Feeling a bit sick, Christina stood up and zipped her jeans. Her heart was racing and she began to feel a little dizzy. She'd told Nina that she'd never made a boy squirt, but judging by the volume of ruined socks, she'd been making Andrei do that at least twice a day for weeks.

        Stumbling back to the door, Christina grabbed the basket of Andrei's dirty clothes. She couldn't stop cleaning his room now that she'd started, but she needed to get out of there for a while. She slammed the door closed behind her, leaving the pornographic magazines and her picture still on top of the bed. The part of Christina that didn't want to set Andrei up with Steph disappeared. Not only did Christina want to make Steph happy, but she needed to direct Andrei's lustful attention to some other girl, where it might be welcome.

 

        Christina had still not approached Andrei about Steph nor the photograph she'd found before the family left for church. Alternating between embarrassment and anger, she spent most of the afternoon avoiding her older cousin. Somehow, she had to get past these feelings and corner Andrei. Christina was leaving on Tuesday, and it was already Sunday; she had to set up Steph's date before she left. Still, she found that when she was in the same room with her cousin, all she wanted to do was scream at him. What made things worse, was that there was no one she could tell. She certainly couldn't tell anyone else in the family about her picture in the magazine. The only person she really knew outside the family was Steph, and she definitely wouldn't want to hear what Andrei had been up to.

        The only thing Christina could do to calm down was help her aunt. Since sweeping the entire kitchen hadn't made her feel any better about the Andrei situation, she continued into the hallway. As she worked past the master bedroom, she was certain she heard the sounds of cursing coming from inside. Christina cautiously laid down the broom against the wall and pressed her ear to the door. Was she actually hearing her aunt and uncle having a fight? She tried to understand what the argument was about, but she was fairly certain they were speaking Russian; either that, or some other language she didn't understand. She continued to listen even though she couldn't comprehend a single word. Christina jumped back and grabbed her broom when she heard footsteps walking towards the door. She did her best to act naturally as Alek came out of the master bedroom.

        Alek stood at the door, breathing heavily with his back to Christina. She waited for him to notice her, but gave up and said, "Uncle Alek?" He did not respond, so Christina tapped him on the shoulder.

        Alek spun around and snapped, "Yes Tina- what is it!" His eyes were pressed closed as though he was enduring the worst headache Christina had ever seen.

        Christina jumped slightly and looked away. "Um ... nothing," she stuttered.

        Realizing that he'd rattled the girl, he put his hand on her shoulder, but did not apologize. "I am going for a walk," he said as he left for the front door.

        A moment later, Misha came out of the bedroom. Her face was flushed, and she was visibly upset.

        "Oh Christina, dear," Misha said, her voice still hoarse from yelling, "It is Sunday! You do not have to do that."

        Christina kept sweeping and grinned nervously. "Oh, I don't mind." Laying the broom against the wall, Christina asked, "Is everything okay?"

        Misha manufactured a smile and touched Christina's cheek with her hand. "Of course. Do not worry."

        "But the noise-"

        "It's fine. Sometimes men ... sometimes they are prideful."

        Christina nodded. It was clearly all that Misha was willing to reveal. As she followed her aunt into the kitchen, she wondered where the woman found the strength to hold everyone else together. Misha always had a way to make everything feel good even when they were not. Christina wished there was some way she could lend Misha her strength. The only thing she could think of was to play along as if she had not heard the argument.

        Alek came into the kitchen shortly afterwards. He looked angry and agitated in a way that Christina had never seen before. While she did not fear her uncle, Christina thought it would be best to stay out of his way today. Christina saw some crumpled papers in Alek's hand and noticed how he threw them forcefully into the trash.

        Realizing that Christina was in the room, Alek composed himself. He shot his niece a forced smile which Christina gladly returned.

        Sensing that it would be best for her to be elsewhere, Christina announced, "Um, I've got to go see Andrei. I'll be out in the barn." She gladly left the kitchen to grab her pea coat. When she snuck quietly back though the kitchen, she saw that Alek was holding Misha from behind. She wasn't sure what was wrong, but it appeared that her aunt and uncle weren't mad at each other anymore. Christina cautiously pulled the crumpled papers from the trash and stuffed them into her jacket pocket. Her aunt and uncle turned around when they heard the noise, though they didn't see what she had done. Grinning nervously, Christina waved goodbye with her fingers, and went out the back door.

        The cold wind blasted Christina's long hair as she stepped out onto the snow-covered driveway. She ran to the barn as fast as she could, cursing herself for not buying a proper winter coat. She felt some warmth as she entered the barn.

        Andrei was working on a piece of wood with a plane on his workbench, surrounded by three old space heaters.

         Christina walked slowly towards the source of heat, her rage growing with each step. She'd tried to keep a calm head all day, but seeing Andrei, all she could think of was him jacking off to her image. It was nauseating enough that any man was doing such a thing, but she was furious that it was Andrei. They were cousins after all! Practically siblings! More than that, Christina had trusted him. Stepping into the ring of warmth cast by the space heaters, Christina straightened out the skirt of her Sunday dress and sat down on an old bench with her legs crossed.

        So engrossed in his work, Andrei didn't notice his cousin until she sat down. He immediately smiled, retrieved a blanket, and draped it over Christina.

        Christina's shivering stopped, but she cast daggers at Andrei with her eyes.

        Andrei, as usual, didn't register the glance and went back to work. "You don't usually come out here to watch me," he said, not looking up from the plank of wood he was shaping.

        "I cleaned your room yesterday ..." she began.

        Andrei started shaving the wood harder, and grunted, "Yes, I know. I should have thanked you. It's never been so clean, at least not as far as I can remember." He planed faster and faster, causing sawdust to cloud the air.

        "Yeah well, when I was cleaning ..." Christina trailed off as she saw the intensity with which Andrei was working. He was attacking the wood as though he was trying to kill it. Apparently, Alek and Misha weren't the only people who were having a bad day. Andrei continued shaving the wood furiously until Christina put her hand on his arm. "Hey," Christina said softly, "What's wrong?"

        Andrei stopped, breathing heavily from his exertion. He dropped the plane on the work bench and pushed the wood onto the floor. "I don't know what I'm doing here," he growled in aggravation.

        "What do you mean?"

        "I mean ..." Andrei ran his hand through his hair. "All this. Why do I even bother?"

        "Because you're great at it," Christina objected. "My God, if I was this good at anything-"

        "But it doesn't matter!" Andrei shouted as he threw his hands in the air. "You know, my father is right. I'm just playing games out here. I can't sell any of this ... junk! I don't have a store, and even if I did, no one would want to buy this crap anyway."

        "That's not true. Uncle Alek is wrong." Christina put her hands on Andrei's shoulders and forced him to look at her. "He's wrong," she repeated. "What you do out here is amazing. I love those things you made for me. I would totally have bought them, but I can't even afford anything that nice. I know you're not selling a lot of stuff right now, but someday you will."

        Andrei was still breathing heavily, but the fire was leaving his eyes. "I just want ... more." He looked at his hands and said, "I know I can do things, but no matter how hard I try I'm still stuck here." He looked up at Christina and said, "You already have your own apartment."

        Christina patted the bench beside her and Andrei sat down. Unable to stretch up to his shoulder, she wrapped her arm around Andrei's waist and leaned against him. "Andrei," she explained, "I work at terrible job just so I can afford my crappy apartment."

        "At least you live on your own."

        "If you saw my apartment, if you saw where I lived, you wouldn't be impressed. My place is a dump. All my furniture is secondhand. The neighborhood is dangerous. I'm scared to go out at night sometimes. If you ever saw it, I would be ashamed."

        "Really?" Andrei asked in astonishment.

        "Yeah," Christina answered seriously. "And I have to admit, I used to feel proud when I first went out on my own, but I have to tell you, it gets lonely sometimes. Why else do you think I visit so much?"

        Andrei put his gigantic arm around his cousin and remarked, "You don't visit much at all."

        Christina laughed and said, "That's 'cause I have to work too much to pay for that crappy apartment of mine. I spend all the time I get off here. So really, don't feel bad, okay? You have nothing to feel bad about."

        "I'm sure your place isn't so bad ..."

        "It is. Trust me. I would have sent you a picture, but I didn't want you to know just how bad it is." Christina sat with her cousin and tried to get worked up about her picture in the dirty magazine. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make herself feel angry with her cousin.

        "Andrei," Christina began, looking up into her cousin's eyes, "When I was cleaning your room yesterday I ..." She couldn't think of any way to say it. Andrei would be mortified! She tried to imagine if it were she in his place. How would she feel to be confronted? How could she ever live it down? She couldn't bring up the picture. She couldn't even accuse her cousin of harboring feelings for her. Christina stewed, trying to think of a way to be tactful.

        "What is it?" Andrei asked, breaking the awkward silence.

        Thinking of a way to spare Andrei's feelings, Christina grimaced and steeled herself for what she was about to say. "I ... I have a confession."

        "A confession? What do you-"

        Christina put her hand over Andrei's mouth and croaked, "Don't interrupt. This is REALLY not easy for me to say." Christina looked away and muttered under her breath, "You have no idea how hard this is to say." She removed her hand from Andrei's lips and looked back at him. "I've had, uh ... kind of uh ... crush ... on you ... For a while now. I feel really bad about it because..." Christina stressed these next words, "You are my cousin, and I love you, and I know those kind of feelings are wrong for me to have."

        Andrei nodded, but before he could speak, Christina continued. "And I realize that these feelings I have for you ... it's because, you know, it's because I think maybe ... I'm lonely, and you're the only man in my life right now. We spend a lot of time together and ..." Christina closed her eyes to make it through the next part, "You know, we stay in the same house, and I've seen your ... body ... and uh ... it's, you know, very ... attractive."

        Again, Andrei started to speak, but Christina cut him off. "Anyway, the thing is; I know these feelings I have are wrong. And you're very important to me, and I don't want to ruin what we have. And I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Do you think you can ever forgive me?"

        Andrei paused, wondering if it was time for him to speak. "It's okay," he said. "I'm flattered, really." He gave Christina a mighty squeeze and confessed, "Honestly, I think I've had a tiny crush on you too."

        "Oh really?" Christina said, feigning surprise. "I guess I didn't notice. That makes me feel a lot better." She leaned her head against his shoulder and asked, "So, are we okay then?"

        "Sure."

        "Good!" Christina exclaimed happily. "Cause when cousins get together, all you get is flipper-babies."

        Andrei couldn't help but laugh.

        Seeing this as a good opportunity to mention Steph, Christina pressed, "Andrei, I feel a little strange saying this, but I think you should go out on a date with Steph."

        Andrei sat up at the suggestion. His mind was cast instantly back to Steph's apartment. All of a sudden, he could not see anything but Steph in her chemise. "I don't know ..." he stammered.

        "What's not to know? I know Steph likes you, and I'm pretty sure you like her too."

        "Steph likes me?" Andrei asked in astonishment.

        Christina had to stifle the urge to smack her cousin. Of course Steph likes you, she shouted in her mind. It was obvious! She would kill to be the one that Steph liked, but it wasn't meant to be. "Yeah, she likes you. She likes you a lot- I promise."

        "I ... I couldn't. I mean, I don't want to hurt your feelings."

        "Andrei, you're not going to ..." Christina stopped and reflected on how she felt about Steph. She answered truthfully, "I can't say I'm not going to be upset to see you and Steph together, but I'm just gonna have to get over it. There's no reason the two of you can't be happy."

        Andrei stood up and paced nervously in the glow of the space heaters. "I'd like to ... I mean ... I would, but ..."

        "But what?" Christina asked, getting a bit agitated. She was handing Steph to Andrei on a silver platter, but he wasn't biting.

        Andrei confessed, "I don't know how to talk to girls."

        "You talk to me all the time!"

        "That's not the same. You're not like other girls."

         Christina muttered, "You have no idea."

        "What?" Andrei asked.

        "You have no idea how easy talking to girls can be. Just be yourself. Steph already likes you, okay?"

        Andrei sat down and thought it over. "I just don't know ... Maybe ... what if you came too?"

        Tossing her blanket aside, Christina stood up complained, "Andrei! I can't go with you and Steph on a date!"

        "It could be a double date. You did it for Nina ..."

        "Okay, number one, Nina is FIFTEEN years old. And number two, that was NOT a date!"

        The angry tone in Christina's voice caused Andrei to back off. "Okay," he conceded. "I'll think about it."

        Christina's insides felt sick; she couldn't believe Andrei was turning Steph down. She touched Andrei on the shoulder and said, "Okay, you think about it. But I know Steph would like to go out with you, and it would make me ... really happy ... to see the two of you together." Christina left the barn, returning to the bitter wind outside. She jogged back to the side door of the house and entered the warm kitchen. Her uncle was no longer there, but Misha was busy starting dinner.

        Misha smiled at her niece and asked, "Christina, could you help me dear? This is a good time for you to learn how to make a roast."

        Christina responded, "Yeah sure, that sounds like fun, but I've got to make a quick phone call first, okay?"

        Misha nodded.

        Christina left the kitchen and ran upstairs to the second floor. Boris, excited by all the activity, followed Christina up to her room. Christina tossed her jacket on the chair in front of her vanity and hopped on to her bed. Boris hopped up onto the bed after her. Christina ruffled the fur on Boris' head then grabbed her cell phone off her nightstand. She hit the speed dial number for Steph and waited for her to pick up.

        "Hey Steph," Christina forced out. She wanted to tell her that Andrei wasn't interested and that perhaps she should give girls a try, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

        "Hey Blondie, what's shakin'?"

        "I just finished talking to Andrei ..."

        "Really? What did he say?" Steph sounded elated.

        "He said he wants to take you out, but ..."

        "No! There's no buts! Did you tell him there's no buts? Why is there a but?"

        "He doesn't want to be alone with you."

        There was a shocked silence followed by, "Is there some misunderstanding about the entire concept of dating?"

        "No," Christina said, still harboring aggravation with her cousin, "He's just nervous I think. He wants me to go, too."

        "What?" Steph snapped. "Okay, there IS a fundamental misunderstanding at play."

        "No, he wants us all to go on a double date."

        "Oh." Steph said, sounding relieved. "So what's the problem? We'll just find someone for you."

        "What!" Christina screeched. "Wait a minute-"

        "Just call that Richard guy," Steph interrupted, "The one who wants to be the white on your rice- It's perfect!"

        "No!" Christina answered, her voice cracking. "That is the polar opposite of perfect. I can't stand him!"

        "Come on!" Steph pleaded. "I've wanted just one date with Andrei since I was in the sixth grade! Call up Double-O Lawyer and be a Bond girl, just for one night."

        "Steph, you don't know what you're asking me to do! I can't just-"

        "Christina, all that stuff you said about me being your only friend in town- you meant all that, right?"

        Christina muttered, "Well yeah, but-"

        "Well I'm asking you, as a friend. Please, do just this one thing for me."

        Christina paused and considered the unthinkable. "Steph ... I really can't-"

        "Christina, I'm begging you!"

        Christina cringed at the tone of Steph's voice. She really did want Andrei more than anything else in the world. Christina's shoulders dropped in defeat. "Okay."

        "Really?" Steph burst out. "You mean it? Really?"

        "Yeah. But only for you. And for Andrei. But you can NOT, I mean NOT FOR AN INSTANT, leave me alone with that man."

        "Okay, deal."

        "Okay."

        "Christina, I can't tell you how much this means to me," Steph gushed. "I'm serious. You and I are best friends for life."

        Christina thought that being best friends for life with the girl she had a crush on was a poor consolation prize. She took a deep breath and said, "Let me call Richard before I change my mind. I'll call you back when I have it all worked out."

        "Okay, you got it."

        Steph hung up and Christina went to her vanity to get her purse. Sitting down on the bed next to Boris, she dug into the bag. When she'd started her masquerade as Christina Chase, her purse had always been empty. Now it was jam packed with cosmetics, keys, change, scraps of paper, and perhaps all the spare socks that had disappeared from every dryer on the face of the Earth. She wondered how other girls ever found anything. Taking out a tattered business card that Richard had given her almost a year ago in Arnold's Electronics store, she put it to Boris' nose and let him sniff it. "Smell that, boy?" she asked. "Next time you smell that, I want you to kill."

        Boris wasn't sure what she meant, so he simply wagged his tail happily.

        "Look who I'm talking to," Christina admonished. "One slice of beef and you abandon me. What kind of guard dog are you anyway?"

        Boris hung his head between his paws and looked up at Christina.

        She ruffled the fur on his head again to let him know she wasn't really angry with him.

        Christina stared at the card for a while before she could bring herself to dial the number. She could hardly hear the dial tone over the echo of her heartbeat in her ears. Her hopes of getting an answering machine were dashed when Richard picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" Richard waited for a moment and asked, "Hello?" a second time before Christina found her voice.

        "Hello," Christina answered in a grave tone.

        "Well," Richard beamed, "Miss Christina Chase! You just caught me. I was about to leave the office for the night."

        "It's Sunday," Christina said in a snarky voice, "What are you doing in the office?" It was an accusation more than a question.

        "I was working on a special project. Nothing you'd be interested in," he said dismissively. "So ... for what purpose do I have the pleasure of speaking with you tonight?"

        Christina hated the way he spoke. His every word carried an assured tone as though his own self-confidence was attempting to overpower every situation. Christina gritted her teeth and said, "I need a favor."

        "Of course. Anything. What can I do for you?"

        Christina took a deep breath and bellowed, "I need you to take me out on a fake date."

        There was a short pause followed by a chuckle. "You're asking me out on a date?"

        "A FAKE date," Christina corrected.

        "Oh right, so you said. ... A fake date. And how is that different from a standard date?"

        "It's the same as a normal date, except you don't like me, and I don't like you," Christina fumed. "And we won't enjoy ourselves."

        "That is quite an attractive offer!" Richard joked. "But there's a problem- I like you. Quite a lot, actually."

        "Fine," Christina answered, rolling her left hand into a fist. "You can like me all you want, and I still won't like you."

        "And I think I'd enjoy it immensely," Richard continued, not hindered by Christina's venom. "In fact, I believe that I can promise that you will have a good time too ..."

        Christina did not care for that intimation one bit. "Look, do you want to go out with me on a fake date or not?"

        "I most certainly do. When did you have in mind?"

        "I'm leaving town on Tuesday."

        "That just leaves tomorrow."

        "Can you do it or not?" Christina barked.

        "Well," Richard said, his voice not losing one drop of it's poise, "I did have some late appointments, but I would gladly postpone them to see you."

        Christina closed her eyes so tightly she felt her entire head might implode.

        Richard continued, "So let's say, the Clairmont Inn? I'll pick you up at eight o'clock tomorrow?"

        "I'll MEET you there at eight. And my cousin Andrei will be there too." She hoped that last part sounded like a threat.

        Richard joked, "Andrei can come, but I'm not dancing with him."

        "He's bringing his own date!" Christina spewed.

        "Fair enough," Richard laughed, "That leaves you all to me."

        Christina protested, "That does NOT leave-"

        "Excellent," Richard interrupted. "I'll see you tomorrow at eight."

        "Fine!" Christina pressed the end button on her phone and tossed it across the room.

        Boris jumped off the bed, worried that he was the reason Christina was so mad.

        Christina stormed out of the room and down the stairs. Blazing through the kitchen, not saying a word to her aunt, she went out the side door into the cold night. Christina was so furious that the fact that she was not wearing her jacket did not faze her. She burst into the barn and stomped over to Andrei's work bench.

        Hearing the noise, Andrei looked up from his work in shock.

        Christina's cheeks were ablaze from the cold air, but the anger in her eyes burned hotter than the sting on her face. Leaning forward, she poked Andrei in the chest with her finger and screamed, "I just got off the phone with Richard! You've got your double date! Happy now?"

        Andrei had never seen his cousin in such a state, and found no words to answer her.

        "Eight o'clock. Tomorrow night at the Clareman Inn," she said, still poking him in the chest.

        "The Clairmont Inn?" Andrei asked sheepishly.

        "Whatever!" Christina shouted, her waving hands in the air. "You are going! And you are going to have a good time, or so help me, I will bury your broken body in the cold, rocky ground in the backyard!"

        Andrei backed away and said, "Okay then ... sounds like a hoot." He watched Christina heaving with anger, waiting hopefully for her to calm down even a little bit. When he thought she'd burned off some of her rage, he asked, "I thought you hated Richard ..."

        Christina slapped him hard and repeatedly on the side of his shoulder and screeched, "YES! YES! I HATE RICHARD! God! You stupid jerk!" She hit him a few more times until her hand hurt worse than her cousin's shoulder. "I hate Richard, but I love YOU, you idiot! This is all you get, do you understand? One double date, then you're on your own."

        Andrei nodded, realizing that saying anything would likely trigger another assault.

        Christina shook her head and muttered, "You'd better be everything Steph hopes you are." She stormed back out of the barn, this time realizing just how cold it was outside. She lifted the skirt of her Sunday dress and ran to the side door and into the safety of the kitchen. Her aunt was staring at her huffing and puffing. Christina bent over, rested her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath. Once she could speak again, she looked up at her aunt and gasped, "So ... let's make a roast."

---

Edited into coherence by Holly H. Hart.
Thanks to Sephrena Miller for taking an early read.
Hope you enjoyed it. If you liked it or hated it, please leave a tasty comment.
Krunch Away!