I became aquainted with the Internet in 1980. Remember the amber screen, DOS, 720 kb flopies, and the 8088 chip? Oh, there had been been people messing about with tiny PCs before that but I never could see the point of it with their miniscule capabilities. I didn not want to mess with computers, I wanted to do something.
Along in there somewhere was Fictionmainia, and then there was this other site with some really explicit and rough stories. At the time, I never considered the fact that these stories could be real or written by people who had actually done some of these things.
One of these stories that is still around is called "Cassandra" I think. There were others where young women were captured and taken to Columbia as sex slaves; some were taken to Arab Countries as harem slaves. There was even one where a young coed who was into the "scene" was actually taken for real and spent a year going around Germany, and Austria as a bondage slave. In this one, friends later freed her. There was one where a newly married couple were kidnapped and made into sex slaves. The sick list goes on and on.
I read lots of them and can not say anything in my own defense. In lots of them, I imagined myself as the captive. (From a more Freudian point of view, I was looking for the security that being a slave would offer)(of course, I now understand that makes no sense)
I had a full load of testosterone flowing in my blood then, and my character never was as pristine as I tried to make it and some of you may have thought. Though, my police record is nearly blank; a couple suicide attemtps, thats all.
It is with increasing horror and shame that I view the news about the latest Austrian Sex Slave. Never in my most demented moments did I ever think that these stories could be true but now I am seeing that yes, some of them likely had a basis with some fact. I think it is very likely that there are substantial numbers of other captive young women there and in many other places. I am fairly certain that some of the stories there and perhaps on this site are from men in prison.
In the last four years, there have two cases in Oregon alone. And then there is the case of the FLDS, which it seems was simply a way for a few demented men to have hundreds of sex slaves.
I am now wondering if every single woman should have a GPS implanted in her at birth and that someone is responsible for protecting them.
Now that I have been out and about for a few years, I begin to see the idea that most women are conditioned to always be aware, yet there always seems to be ways for some ASSHOLE to get away with almost anything with her. I have never talked to a woman who felt she could use MACE. They all seem to think that just acting "in charge" is enough. I used to carry a .45 auto, and now I sometimes carry a very long screw driver, the #2 murder weapon in the work place. Mostly, I just try very hard not to be near the crazies.
I don't know where I am going with this, but I feel awful and horribly ashamed...
Comments
It's about boundaries
What we think or do in our fantasies, as long as it stays there, is fine. When we try to realise them it can go very wrong. People like the perpetrator in Austria, have to be sick or at least sociopathic capable of breaking the ultimate trust, that of parent and child.
What is sad, is that sometimes the victims of these situations feel as much guilt as the perpetrators - they have no need to.
The only good thing about these bizarre cases, is how rare they appear to be. Which by default, hopefully means, the rest of us are relatively decent human beings.
Angharad
Angharad
Those Kinds Of Stories Disturb Me
I have seen quite a few stories on many sites where things like this occur. When I see the XXX-I rating on some stories, it makes me so angry! I know that some say that they are just fantasies, but I know that there are some pretty sick and twisted people in the world. I have to wonder how many of those people get their ideas from reading some of the "fantasies" that are on those sites. Most everyone agrees that incest is an absolutely horrible crime against children, but there are stories that exist about it on some of these sites. The thing that makes me sick to my stomach, is that some of these people write like there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing those kinds of things. Why would anyone want that on their conscience? Oh, I forget that some people don't have one! I am glad that there are people who do stand up against these crimes against the most innocent in our society. The world would be a very scary place if there wasn't.
Hugs,
Jenn
They disturb me too
However, the bottom line is that people have to take responsibility for their actions, I don't buy the 'they can't help it' excuse. I accept some people are more liable than other to do these things, but they know that they are unacceptable as well as illegal. It is every bit as unacceptable as unprovoked violence or robbery, without any sexual overtones.
We all have to accept the consequences of our actions, which in an ideal world would do minimal harm to anyone else. We don't have an ideal world, but we all have to try and keep things moving towards building one.
Angharad
Angharad
Fantasy Play
From what I read in advice columns I respect, even though I'm not a member of "the scene", fantasy play between responsible consenting adults is fine, as long as certain rules are followed regarding safety and protection of the nominal "victim" -- for example, never leave a tied-up person alone or in a stress position. (So, playing "Abu Ghraib" at home is strictly out; are you listening, Cheney?) One phrase I've heard for this type of play is "power exchange".
"Consenting" and "Responsible" are not throw-away words. Actual coercion, or persuasion of someone who's impaired in any way is no longer play, it's criminal. Ditto for people below the age of consent or where there's a coercive relationship already. Ditto for doing anything likely to result in death or permanent disability. Other words not to be ignored that show up in those advice columns are "safe" and "sane".
Within the confines of adult fantasy play (safe, sane, consensual, responsible), whatever scene two or more people want to participate in, is fine. Whatever scene someone wants to fantasize about and masturbate to on their own is also, by extension, fine. There should be no guilt attached to fantasy because of the criminal actions in the real world by others. (I mean, unless guilt is an important part of your fantasy! Just be sure to remember that there, the guilt is a fantasy, too.)
Speaking of guilt, we humans (or at least the standard American cultural flavor with whom I'm most familiar) elevate sexual guilt almost above all else, even violence and murder. It's fine to go to an "action movie" and vicariously experience the thrill of mayhem and bloodshed and walk out all uplifted. Where's the guilt that should go with that? But, gaze at pictures of people doing naughty things, and get a harmess little thrill, and OMG, we're going to Hell!
In the real world, and specifically in the standard American version of it in which I live, violence, murder and mayhem are much more prevalent problems than sex, kinky or otherwise. So, why are we okay with violent fantasy, but not sexual fantasy?
It ain't right, I tell ya', people!
I Don't Like Violent Movies Either
There is too much violence in the world and I don't like seeing it in movies either. I do not like to watch those type of movies, because we see too much of that sort of thing on the news every night. If I was into that stuff, I wouldn't waste good money to see it on the movie screen or in video games. Why would I? I could get it for free every night on the big four networks or the 24 hour news channels.
Jenn
What sickens me
Is that he looks like he'll get away with it. He's trying to claim he's mad and unfit for trial. In the homeland of Freud, he'll probably get away with it. Even if he's tried, he will be left in comfort.
He claims he's mad? OK - let's put him down like a mad dog. And if the authorities won't do it, I'll cheer any prisoner that succeeds.
slave fantasy
This is a clean passage from a dirty novel I wrote for myself: THIS THING I HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO.
In it, the characters discuss the ramifications of consenting adults playing Master and slave,
in a world where such things go on for real...
.
I am sitting upright, sort of. This person I am laying against has been reclining against the pillows, smoking, patiently letting me sleep. My nose is practically in his armpit. I go to push myself upright, but find that my wrists are shackled to my sides. It all comes back to me...
He flops me over so that I am beside him, my head on the second pillow. Asks do you know where you are?
I stretch, as best I can within my restraints, and nod sleepily.
Are you sure? Tell me where you are, he prompts, the way you might question someone who has suffered a blow to the head.
I’m in bed with my Master. Room 3535 of The Xanadutopia Casino, Las Vegas, Nevada, eight nine one one three, I say, hoping he doesn't realize that I just made up the zip code.
And you remember everything? About yesterday?
His tone is so serious. I sure as hell didn’t expect to wake up to this!
I tell him of course I remember. Jesus, what’s going on?!
I just wanted to make sure. Because it’s a risky thing we’re doing here.
Still groggy, I think he means we're going bungee jumping or something today. Huh?
No, he says. I’m talking about what we are doing here. You and me. Pretending that I am engaged in one of the ugliest crimes imaginable!
Slavery you mean. Yeah, that shit was fucked up!
Is fucked up. Worldwide, there is more of it going on today than ever...
Right, I say, like on 60 Minutes. Factory slaves. Not allowed to leave, beaten if they talk to human rights workers- Yes, it’s horrible! Too horrible to be talking about so early in the day! Like you say, this here is just a game; and even what we’re pretending to do is nothing like that! Interchangeable, disposeable, valued less than the machines they run ....... Whatever else you do to me, you value me. Your "owning" me is more a kind of collectorship.
I’m not sure where he’s going with this, but I am sure he has something specific in mind.
But on one level this “fantasy†is real enough, he says. You’re my captive, I make you do whatever I say. It’s not how most people would want to spend their time. Most of them, if you told them you actually enjoy being treated like this, would regard you with pity. If not outright contempt and disgust.
Well fuck those assholes, I sneer, and try to snuggle in closer to him. But bound like this my rocking makes me slip downward, away from him.
He hauls me back up alongside him. Saying the thing is, I can kind of understand why they’re repelled. A lot of people have a hard time seeing any distinction between this and that other kind of slavery. A hard-line feminist would say what I’m doing is plain old male-supremist subjegation, “business as usual†in sexist AmeriKKKa- which you’ve been brainwashed into thinking you enjoy. That to call it fantasy is just a comforting fiction. And a black person might say it just shows how twisted Whitey is, to volunteer for such a thing!
Did he just say “whitey� That is so 1960’s! And again I am reminded of our age difference. Stifling a laugh, I tell him I’ve met African Americans who were submissives.
And they were probably awfully conflicted about it. About its creepy resemblance to .......you know. The difference between pretending to treat someone like an object and actually doing it is as enormous as between playing paintball and that wacko at Virgina Tech! Except with that you can see the difference at a glance. The line between reality and the fantasies we create is blurrier, partly because we make it that way with our ass-backward emotional logic. The affection behind the abuse. Yelling “Oh God, No!†and meaning “Oh God, Yes!†...... Is it any wonder the normals are confused by it?! And yet fake cruelty, fake slavery, fake rape are some of the most common kinds of role-playing. In a hotel of this size we are hardly the only couple-
Could we call down for some coffee, I interrupt (I can do this, since this is clearly Free Time we are in).
He suggests that we go down to breakfast instead, and I heartily agree. I'm famished
But before we do that he has to wrap up this tutorial. Unfortunately, he frowns, normals aren’t the only ones confused about this stuff. You have these animals who find consent for acting out their desires in their own sick imaginations! Like the creep who sends a woman---some total stranger---to the emergency room, and seriously believes that she had been into it too. That she “asked for it†....... I prosecute assholes like that all the time!
That’s cool that you're a County Attorney, taking pukes like that out of circulation! I’ll admit I can get a bit envious of those whose jobs do more for society than just to sell it shit.
He’s pleased that I am so impressed. I enjoy it, he shrugs. But there’s no reason you couldn’t go back to school, find some field you get that from ...... But where was I? Oh yeah- So then when you toss alcohol into the equation, the issue of what is or isn’t consent really gets crazy! Someone can want one thing when drunk that they are horrified with later. Or don’t even remember as having wanted! It doesn’t fit in with their carefully crafted self-image...
Oh, I laugh. So that’s what all this is about! Don’t worry ..... I remember everything we did last night! I’m basically the same masochistic freak whether I’m drunk or sober.
His big nasty grin stretches from ear to ear. That isn’t what I was getting at, but that’s good to know! Indulge me here, I’m almost finished ...... I just wanted to acknowledge that you, Melanie Mendelsson, have the God given American right to leave this room at any time you decide. And I saw how you grimaced when I said that, he laughs! Because you don’t want that, it spoils your fantasy of being a captive! Then how do we do this? I’ll tell you: Into your very real captivity I’ve put what I call “exit pointsâ€. This morning is the first of them. The next will be on Monday. Then a week from Monday. Then two weeks after that... After that these Exit Days come once a month. If you are still with me then you’ll need to really think about it. If you change your mind the next day, too bad! You’ll still be chained up for the next month. This is independant of the code-word system, which only stops individual acts, forms of physical harm against you. My doing this means you can’t just drift, putting all the culpability on me, but are forced to make essential choices.
That sounds like a fair way to go about it. Ask me again on Monday...
He starts unlocking and removing my leather bands. But what if I am coercing you? What if you are only agreeing because you’re afraid of me?
Oh come on! Now you’re just being stupid.
In my job I have seen so much ugly shit, with so many levels of control and intimidation and self-deception that... I’m sorry, I have to do it this way! On Exit Days I will leave you outside for an hour; with all your stuff and the means for you to get home. If you are gone when I return I’ll be sad, but I will respect that you needed new adventures ....... There, I’m done. Let’s eat!
Not quite. After my little christening last night I need a bath first...
.
Anyway, I just thought this passage from my never-to-be-published non-t.g. erotic novel
(being pure fantasy, I just skipped the transformation stuff and went right to being
a 22-year-old busty blonde girl) was relevent to Gwen's blog & the comments...
The rest of the book is, well ....... about what you'd expect. Spankings & such.
I'm not ASHAMED to have such fantasies, but I am pretty embarrassed.
~~hugs, Laika da Sick Pup.
Well shit, I guess it really CAN happen here..,
.
I just read Gwen's most
I just read Gwen's most interesting comments and wish to add a couple of my own. Girls/Women disappearing, especially in Europe, when I was stationed there in the early 1960's and early 1970's WAS NOT as uncommon as one might think. It was a fact that Blondes were favorite targets, but any young, pretty girl was considered a target; and the theory was they were kidnapped for middle east harems. The reason I say theory is because we simply had no way of proving it one way or another. I was in military Law Enforcement at the time, and we had several 3 ring binders (books) of photos of missing females who ranged in age from around 13-14 years old to approx their 30's. We had been given the photos by the West German Police and also by Interpol. We were constantly on the lookout for any of them during our patrols, and occassionally one or two would be found, after they had been dumped off on a street in a large city, like Frankfort,or Weisbaden (where I was stationed) or some other city. Never were they dumped off in or near the location they had been snatched from. When each was found, they did not know about the other ones; but when asked each stated they "had been drugged and did not know where they had been held". They had ALL been ABUSED sexually and physically, plus mentally. Sadly, We also found a few who had been killed and dumped. Their bodies showed very similar markings to the girls/women that we found alive.
I do believe some of the stories that I have seen printed, are in fact based on a lot of truth with maybe enough fiction thrown in to "throw people off the trail" so to speak.
After being in both Civil and Military Law Enforcement, and having nabbed child molesters, wife beaters, and basically other "sick people" and perverts in general; whom I might add ARE NOT always insane; just basically A**H***s, we should build a prison facility out in the Pacific Ocean on a deserted island, drop them off and truly forget about them for ever.
I am not sure how this issue we are now all hearing about in Austria will play out, but if I was the judge, the father should be locked up in his own dungeon for LIFE, with nothing, and never be set free.
Just my opinion of the whole thing. J-Lynn
Island available
... it's called South Georgia, and one of the most desolate places available. If you dumped these perverts in the pacific, there's always the chance they might escape. South Georgia's in the polar oceans, and unless you're a penguin, seal or polar bear, you won't last long in the water.
Average annual temperature 44F, In a bad winter, the Antarctic ice pack reaches the islands. Give the bastards a taste of Dante's 9th circle of hell!
South Georgia Island? Now i Agree But
Why would you want to hurt the local wildlife? Just dump those perverts into an active volcano that is erupting.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
That would be
In Chile right now!
hugs!
grover
I remember
... must have been '77 or so and I as a kid was staying with Mums parents. Now I was big grown up school kid an' all, 6 or 7, could read an' everythin'. Grandad was a worker on the buses so he read the single fold paper...Dad was a banker, so he was broadsheet so we didn't get that single fold one at home. Anyway there I was being all grownup and reading this single fold paper and a story slapped me in the face... I think it was European and based in Marseiles, but don't quote me. It was about a bunch of boys over a period of time that had been coerced into prostitution. One wanted to try a bikini on the beach and was spotted, I forget the others, but I recall one was seen by his mother walking down the road with a man, months after disappearing only now he was a girl and had breasts. There were about 8 kids involved I think and some had had 'surgery' some had not. I can remember wondering how his mum recognised him. I still wonder if this was true, though it was a reasonably respected paper and an (I now know) syndicated story.
I've read some pretty dark stories here and there. Some have really raised my antenna, which might mean skilled writing or something else altogether. I suspect there is some very nasty stuff out there, presented as fiction. Far from common, but I would guess it happens.
I was a kid at the time I read that story and I remember it 30 years later, for perhaps obvious reasons... still, I wonder. As you grow you learn what is and isn't acceptable or right. A rather fluid thing in some instances, but the basics are solid in most societies I think. We may disagree on some of the semantics, yet cruelty and force are wrong most anywhere. Fantasy is a strange and rather personal little world within a world. Consent and willing participation, perhaps matter if it's taken into reality, which is a whole other thing entirely.
I'll admit to wandering some slightly strange little pathways mentally, but living with them.... no thanks. That's where a lot of stories lose me, they take a subconscious attraction and make it out to be a real world desire. Not in this lifetime, or the next in most cases. Each to their own though, which gives an awful lot of scope in some cases.
So I guess I say Gwen, as long as you are aware of the difference between a vague desire and an in your face reality, then all is well. Hah, pompous bitch aint I.
Kristina
The sad thing is...
Yes, some things that happen in stories on TG sites like these are VERY real. I know some people in real life that were forcibly feminized against their will, and one who was forcibly masculinized. I know some of us might want to just ignore this fact, but the sickest thing of all is that I can't find any sort of help for these people anywhere. No support groups, no sites no nothing. Just a bunch of fetish stuff that these people don't realize what real forced fem is. I've seen their pain, and their sorrow and their constant suicidal urges, in fact their suicide rates are higher than people who are transgender. It's hard to help them, I want to... so very badly but I don't know how, does anyone know?
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
SMYRC
There is an organization in Portland, OR, called SMYRC.org you could contact to see if they know of anyone up there where you are. I had thought that King County was quite active that way.
I am looking at volunteering with people here that work on that sort of thing. Please keep me posted on how you do.
Gwen Brown
You don't understand
It's not for me, I've never been forcibly feminized against my will, I know people who HAVE and who have been forcibly masculinized as well. Meaning a mother who decides that her son is going to be a girl regardless of his wishes, or a father that decides his daughter is going to be a boy regardless of what she wants. Do they really deal with just these cases? Or do they even know what they are talking about? Irregardless, thank you for the information ^^
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
That's pretty much what happened to me.
From when I was born to about 4 years old, I was dressed as a girl and referred to as a girl. I now believe that Mom saw the TG in me and fed it. My step father put a stop to it but he was such a rough man that I never identified with him. I came out around 5. I distinctly remember sitting in the living room and deciding who I was most like. My brothers were always asses to me, and I'd certainly not like a man who beat me almost constantly.
I looked at my Mom and my step sister and decided that I wanted to be most like them. I promply went into sis's room, put on one of her skirts and came back into the living room. Only the daemons of hell could imagine what happened that day...
How do/did the adults get away with it?
Did they force-feed hormones and such? How far could they take it? What about school??
Hugs
Alexis
If you really want to know
It was in the 50's, and the mother was not even the boy's mother. You see the mother died during childbirth, and so her sister was assigned custody of the baby, the sister I guess hated the baby boy so much for killing her sister that she decided to turn him into a girl. I don't know how she got away with it for so long, I only know this person who'm I used to see, struggling with his identity, always saying he wanted to be a boy, but never got to be and always wanting to kill himself, to end his eternal pain.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
That's terrible
There are some seriously disturbed people in the world...I guess back then the 'Pill' was a heck of a lot stronger too, if she went that route making it easy to get hormones. :( I think I just depressed myself and I've never met the person in question...
Huggles to you to pass on to them!!
Alexis
We Jews have the saying "Always Remember"
Referring of course to the Holocaust. If man can imagine something that is able to be done, chances are someone will try to do it; no matter how evil (or good I hope).
The really sad thing is, some of the countries where modern day holocausts are happening, refuse help from Israel...
The more things change...
Hugs
Alexis
Tickun
When I started all this late life TG stuff, a Jewish man once wrote to me and said that maybe I was having a Tickun. He explained it to mean life with the shoe on the other foot.
For me personally, I think I am living the life I was programmed for. On a personal level, I am happy. There certainly have been so many "Ah Ha!" moments with experiencing life on the other track. And, yes chivalry is still alive!
I was in Home Depot last night hunting for a double twinned 220Volt breaker for a Westinghouse panel. I was wearing my usual floor length skirt and long sleeved top, with head covering, as usual. The man who worked there was extremely solicitous toward me. I just rocked his world and loved it.