CHAPTER THREE

In the car Jenny talked about the sights in San Francisco and the places worth visiting while June listened, while watching the bubbly young woman for any sign of her brother. She failed to find any sign of Jenny’s male past. From head to toe all she saw was a girl, a very attractive one at that if she was honest and she wondered at the changes in her sibling. From what she could discern Jenny had the whole girl thing down pat, all the way to her body language and voice inflection and it left her quite shaken.

“Wow,” breathed June, when they arrived at Jenny’s apartment.

“You like?” Jenny said.

June nodded as she scanned her siblings well decorated apartment.

“You have really great taste,”

Coming from June, an interior designer this was a major compliment, “I didn’t know you had it in you,” she added.

“Thanks,” said Jenny gracefully, “Would you like a drink, snack?” Jenny said, as she put away her sister’s bags and showed her the guest room.

“Sure what do you have here?” June replied.

“I have soda’s, coffee, iced tea,” responded Jenny.

“Any rooibos,” June asked.

“Sorry I hate that stuff and it’s hard to find here,” said Jenny, rather too happily in her sister’s opinion.

Jenny had despised the South African tea from her childhood while June thought it was an absolute must.

“Sure it is,” she said rolling her eyes before asking for a coffee.

The coffee did nothing for the jet lag and June dozed off after finishing her cup despite Jenny’s dire warnings that she’d regret it later. Jenny knew first-hand the effects of jet lag as she recalled her arrival in the US.

Over a year ago she’d found herself in San Francisco so she could become whole. It was a journey that had started many years before though she recalled as she set about making dinner.

Jenny had a prodigious intellect. As a child she’d skipped three grades and her IQ had been in the 140’s. She’d matriculated at 14 and won a special dispensation to go to university two years early. She’d taken her first degree in business at 17 before going to the US for law school. While there she’d taken a law degree as well as a history degree through long distance.

Her problems with her gender had been quite clear to her by the time she was ten. She knew deep down that she needed to have a female body and had secretly started taking birth control pills at fourteen in an attempt to make her body develop as a woman’s and not as a man’s. The hormones worked very well. She’d been pretty small for her age and hadn’t really been touched by testosterone which meant that the oestrogen had a blank slate to work on. Her breasts had developed as had her hips giving her a very feminine figure that she hid under the baggy clothes that were so fashionable when she first attended university. With time she learned to bind her breasts when presenting as a boy. Her face wasn’t so easily hidden and was quite pretty but everyone (her parents) assumed it was just puppy fat which she’d grow out of one day.

She was quite an independent child. Going to university at a young age made her parents assume she was more mature and they were inclined to watch from a distance. Since she kept getting top marks and was well behaved, polite and responsible she was quite free to chart the course she wanted.

Willem was also quite busy with his career while Rachel also ran a successful wedding business as well as a being involved strongly in a charity to help orphans. With her sister at university in Cape Town while she was at the local one just miles from her house she had carte blanche with her wardrobe and was regularly going out as a girl sometimes missing lectures just to get to be herself. Initially she’d been terrified someone would realise she wasn’t female but when no one batted an eyelid and one or two boys wolf whistled at her she became far more confident. She visited malls and just wandered about and it was on one of these jaunts that she’d made friends with a bunch of kids who’d found her sitting alone at a table and asked to join her.

Jane, Courtney, Lucas and Sean were students at the local polytechnic. They were studying different things but had all attended the same local high school and were still friends. Jane was doing a course in office administration. Courtney was studying bookkeeping while Lucas and Sean were doing electrical engineering. All of them were easy going and quickly drew Jenny into their clique. Jenny was an outgoing person though shy around strangers and learning with kids older than her had only tended to make her more so. She’d had one close friend in high school, Lionel Van Zyl and that was because he was overweight and was a new boy at the school. None of the other kids had really warmed to him and she’d felt pity for him and become his friend.

Before she’d left school she’d told him her secret and to her surprise he had been disgusted and hadn’t wanted to talk to her for a couple of days though he didn’t tell anyone. After a week he’d apologised and said he’d thought about it and was sorry for his reaction. They’d continued as friends but never mentioned her gender again. When she matriculated Jenny had purposely lost touch with him as she didn’t want to remember the way he’d looked at her when she told him. It also made her more guarded with her secret.

As a result her new friends knew nothing of her real life and she lived a secret life until she graduated at 17. She’d even dated Lucas for a bit but because she was so young he’d ended it. By the time she’d gone to the State’s she’d socialised as a girl and was quite comfortable presenting as one.

Her reminisces were disturbed by June waking up. Once again she was surprised by her sibling. Jenny had a lovely meal ready for her. She'd had no idea Jenny could cook this well.

It consisted of fried langos potato bread, baked cherrystone clams and a bavette steak with yoghurt parfait for dessert.

A part of her wondered if this was another way of expressing her femininity.

“Where did you learn to cook so well?” June said as she ate her meal.

“Eva taught me when you were in Cape Town. I took some classes when I first came here,” Jenny revealed.

“How did you get Eva to do that?” June remarked referring to the domestic worker who’d practically raised them. She'd retired when Jenny went to the US and was sorely missed by all the Wolhuter's.

“She never wanted me to disturb her when she was in there,” June added.

“I asked her,” said Jenny simply.

“She always had a soft spot for you,” June mused.

“I have a way with people,” said Jenny primly.

June rolled her eyes.

“Well it’s true,” said Jenny with a smile.

June had to smile remembering the number of times her sibling had got out of trouble with her charming smile.

The two chatted about their lives catching up on one each others news. June regaled Jenny with anecdotes from her interior design business and the obnoxious people she sometimes worked for. Jenny talked about her job as a lawyer and the joy it brought when she won a case. She described a big case that she’d helped on and which had made her name as the best associate and June listened with interest.

“Nice. I bet Dad would love to have heard that,” said June without thinking.

Jenny’s face saddened.

“I guess so, I only did law because of him and grandpa,” she murmured.

“Do you have to go through with this?” June asked.

“Yes I do,” Jenny answered.

“Really, it just seems so drastic and well kind of weird for you to try and be a woman,” said June.

"I am a woman and I'm not trying," Jenny replied.

June sighed, "Really," she said pointedly.

“June you shouldn’t have come here if you have a problem with me and the choices I’ve made. I refuse to live my life to please you and Mum and Dad,” argued Jenny.

“That’s your problem Jan, everything has to revolve around you. Did you ever stop to think that they could be hurt by what you’re doing? You just showed up at home and told Mum and Dad you were going to get a sex-change then a week later you’d flown off to the States,” June answered.

“Oh dear, now it’s my fault huh? I didn’t throw myself out, Dad did,” Jenny hit back.

“Oh yes you did, you took the easy way out, you never tried to talk to him or show him what you look like or anything, you just gave up on him,” June retorted.

Jenny fought back the tears that threatened to overwhelm and her yelled back at her sister.

“I DID NOT; DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO HURT THEM? I WAS TRYING TO TELL THEM HOW I FELT.”

“Except you didn’t tell them Jan they have no idea you were suicidal you simply told them you needed surgery to make you a woman. How did you expect Pa to react when his only son said that? As far he was concerned you were doing something silly for reasons best known to you!”

“What would you have had me do, jump out of my office and leave him a note on my desk? Maybe you’d all believe me if I was dead. I’ve written once a week to them and not once have I gotten a response from them,” said Jenny angrily before turning her back on her sister and going to her room.

"There you go, walking away from the difficult discussions again," said June, also upset.

"I can't talk to you right now I need to be alone ok," answered Jenny before closing her door.

‘I wanted to be a girl so bad it hurt!’ Jenny thought as she flopped onto her bed.

The truth was she had hated having a male organ sticking out of her entire life, had detested it so much she’d felt like hacking it off.

People didn’t know how horrible it felt to hate your own body so much, to feel so trapped that you wanted to end your life. June didn’t seem to get it. Tears coursed down Jenny's cheeks as she lay there wondering.

‘Why can’t people get it?’

To be continued