Bobby is a teenage boy that really wants to be a girl. He likes to video tape girls being girls so he can learn to imitate them. One day the boy Bobby joins two classmates at the mall and things go wrong from there, or is it go right from there.

Bobbi’s Run

by

Paula Dillon

It was a Saturday and Bobby Ray McDonald was at the mall engaging in his favorite pastime. He loved to cruise the mall looking at the girls, although not for the same reasons that most guys do. When he watched the girls it wasn’t for lust, but out of jealousy or curiosity. Today just as all the times in the past he watched how girls acted, the things that they did and how they looked.

Bobby always carried his video camcorder in the camera case his Mom had bought him for Christmas. In his mind it was like carrying a purse. He had rigged the camera case so he could record with the camera in the case and not be detected. He would either walk behind a group of girls at a distance or sit in the food court across from them just to tape them doing what girls do. At home he would then use his computer to edit the tapes so he could study the way the girls acted, how they dressed, and how they interacted with each other.

Bobby’s family consisted of his mom Agnes Elizabeth McCrea, but she goes by Liz and his sisters Darla Ann and Amy Blair. His father Angus Blaine McDonald had bailed on the family when Bobby was four so his mom took back her family’s name when she got her divorce. His mom was a good lawyer and worked long hours and it left the kids alone after school until about six pm. His sisters had their own friends that they spent much of their time with them, leaving Bobby on his own at home most of the time.

He would often sneak into his sisters’ rooms and in the bathroom clothes hamper to lift enough girls clothing so that he could wear them and practice being a girl. He would watch the tapes and imitate to the best of his ability what he saw the girls do. He had even managed to video tape his sisters and his mom as they did their makeup although he was never able to obtain anything but a stray lipstick or an almost empty mascara tube or such.

Bobby’s small size and stature lent itself well to appearing feminine. At fourteen he was just a hair over five foot one and weighed a little over a hundred and fifteen pounds. His face was almost a carbon copy of his younger sister Amy’s. His Mom had allowed him to grow his bright auburn hair down around his shoulders, and to get his ears pierced like a lot of guys his age had done. When dressed he looked better than he gave himself credit for, but he wouldn’t win any beauty contests. He did look as good as the average girl though, and maybe even a little bit better.

Bobby couldn’t begin to understand why he did this, but he felt as if his life depended on it. He felt so alive and complete when he was able to dress up. The times he couldn’t dress up he felt himself wither a little inside.

He was also very scared when he did it. He wanted to face the world dressed as a girl, but he just didn’t have the courage to go outside. Every day he tried to work up the courage to dress up and walk out the front door. Every time the strength to turn the door knob and open the door drained out of his arm. He was also fearful of what his Mom and sisters would say or do if they found out.

He knew how other people treated those who were different from the social norms. Bobby knew several openly gay boys at his junior high school and the macho jocks and the stoners gave these boys a hard time, often beating them up, verbally harassing them, and defacing their lockers. Bobby empathized with them, but didn’t want this complication in his life.

Bobby didn’t consider himself gay since boys had no attraction to him in any way. It wasn’t a sexual thing to him; it was just about being a girl. He wished that he had been born a girl, that he could be around girls and just be one of the girls.

Now that he was in high school the urges had gotten stronger. Seeing all the girls who dressed so nicely was hard on him. Living in two worlds was also having a toll on him. His desires made him a loner because he knew the vast majority of people would never accept him in a boy’s world or a girl’s world.

Bobby sat at a table inside the food court taping some girls there. He thought they were very pretty and he loved the way they were dressed. He didn’t worry about being caught since he had learned early how to be invisible. He sat facing away at a right angle to them with his camera case on the table and the lens pointed their way. Nobody ever knew what he was doing.

The girls sat and talked as they ate a light lunch. If Bobby was lucky he would be close enough to catch snippets of their conversations. After about thirty minutes the girls got up and headed to the restroom and Bobby changed tapes and batteries. He would love to know what went on in the girl’s restroom, why they always went together, and what they did while in there, but he would never invade their sanctuary.

Sadly Bobby got up and just began to wander around the mall. Bobby saw another couple of girls from his class window shopping and decided to follow them at a distance. As he watched the way one of the girls walked with such a cute wiggle his whole body just tingled. The girl’s name was Sandra Jennings and she was one of the prettiest of the freshman girls. She was in his home room and his English class. He envied her above all the others. He was just about her height and weight, but she had blonde hair and blue eyes to his auburn and green. The other girl was Becky Samuels. She was almost as pretty as Sandra, but with rich shiny chocolate brown hair and hazel eyes.

Sandra had on a really pretty blouse. It was a white button up front with frilly ruffles that went around the collar and down the front of the blouse. You could almost see right through it. Underneath he could tell she had on a bra and camisole. She wore a tan denim skirt that was fitted at the waist and hips and came down to just above mid thigh. She had on tan hosiery of some sort, probably pantyhose and brown flats that had a strap across the instep. She had on some very pretty dangly pearl drops earrings, a pearl drop necklace that hung just where her blouse was open, four or five gold and silver bangles on her right arm and a ladies watch on her left. Her purse was one of those black micro fiber purses that Bobby really liked. Her hair was long and straight. It was held by a scrunchie high on the back of her head and fell to the middle of her back.

Becky had a blue jean jacket over a red satin scoop neck tank top. Bobby noticed she had three necklaces on and her earrings were a bunch of dangles with odd shapes and lengths of gold. Her skirt had no waistband and fit just above her hips. It was white and was made of a lighter material than Sandra’s and was at least 2 inches shorter. Bobby watched how she controlled the skirt as she walked. He was amazed that she never let anything she had on underneath show. She had black stay up stockings with their lacy tops showing just below her skirt and black shiny pumps with maybe two inches of heels. Her purse reminded Bobby of a satchel in brown suede with fringes around the sides and bottom. Her hair do was big, with lots of curly ringlets that were stretched out and hung just below her shoulders.

The girls would stop in front of one store window and look at the mannequins, commenting on what they saw. They really seemed to enjoy looking at clothes, imagining what they would look like wearing them or they would laugh and giggle about how hideous they thought they were. Bobby got a good education this way on what ‘real girls’ thought. When the girls were satisfied that they liked or didn’t like something, they would stroll on down the mall. Bobby followed as closely as he could without being too obvious.

After about ten minutes Bobby knew it was time to move on. He was very afraid that the girls would see him following them and think that he was actually stalking them. So before he was discovered he made a move and walked past the two girls. He got about ten yards ahead of him when he heard, “Bobby is that you?”

Bobby stopped and turned when he heard Sandra call him. It wouldn’t do for him to run like he wanted to. “Oh, hi Sandra, how are you?”

“I am doing okay Bobby,” Sandra said smiling at the boy. “Do you know Becky?”

“Yes I have seen her around school, and I know her name but we have never been introduced. Hi Becky, I am Bobby McDonald.”

Becky had a big smile on her face as she looked at Bobby, “Hi Bobby, Becky Samuels,” she said.

Sandra reached out and took one of Bobby’s hands in her own and said, “Hey Bobby, we were just getting ready to leave. We are heading to Toni’s Pizza parlor. Want to come along?”

“I don’t know I should be heading home soon.” Inside he felt so confused, he had never had a girl come out and ask him to do anything with them before.

“Oh please, come on Bobby, why don’t you come with us? It will be fun.” Becky asked, almost pleading.

He hemmed and hawed for a few seconds then said, “Oh… ok I guess.”

Bobby had no experience in dealing with girls other than his sisters. This was the first time one had actually stopped to talk to him. Most girls chose to ignore him. He was worried that they had seen him following them and were going to expose him or worse.

The girls flanked him as they walked. Bobby fell right into pace with the girls. Most boys when they first start walking with girls they are interested in unconsciously walk the legs off of them. They never consider actually slowing down so the girls can walk at a comfortable pace. Boys just naturally have a longer stride and a quicker pace. This was a problem that Bobby didn’t have.

It was a short walk to the bus stop where they sat and waited for the next bus. Bobby sat on the end of the bench. He set his camera case on the bench between himself and the girls then he turned toward the girls.

“Tell us Bobby, we have seen you around school, but we have never seen you with any girls. Do you have a girlfriend right now?” Sandra asked.

Bobby blushed and had a sad look on his face, “No I don’t have a girlfriend right now. To be honest with you most girls just choose to ignore me. Look at me; I don’t look like boyfriend material to them, if you know what I mean.”

Sandra knew what Bobby was talking about and liked the honesty of his answer. “Yeah we know Bobby, but I really think you are kinda cute though. I think most girls are missing out. You aren’t like most of the guys we know. You are more polite than they are. You also don’t drool over us and you seem to treat all girls better. You are most definitely different.” Sandra said looking into Bobby’s eyes.

“Yeah, you never seem like you are trying to undress us in your mind, and you aren’t trying to look down our blouses, or up our skirts,” Becky added.

Bobby looked away and blushed as Becky said that. He knew exactly what the girls were talking about, and now he was ashamed of spying on them. “Yeah, my mom and sisters would kill me if I did that. I just feel that girls should be allowed to look good without having to worry about who is trying to see what.”

“Well good for them. I am glad you’re this way,” Sandra said.

Bobby felt that Sandra and Becky were comfortable with him. This caused him to relax and enjoy their company more. His earlier fears seemed to melt away. The girls also noticed the changes in Bobby and felt more in tune with him. They talked about things they would never really talk to most boys about and the girls really seemed interested in what he thought. They drew more out of him than he thought possible. He would have been embarrassed to have his Mom hear what the girls talked about and what they asked him about.

It was while they were talking that from across the road came a ruckus. A drug deal had gone bad and shots were being fired. When Bobby heard the first shot and caught the action beside them in his peripheral vision without thinking he pushed both girls off the bench and covered them with his body. It took only ten or fifteen seconds as a couple of dozen or so gunshots were fired, before the sound of squealing tires told them somebody was fleeing the scene, but it seemed like hours to Bobby.

When he felt it was safe he got up and helped the girls up, then grabbed his camera case and hustled the girls away from the area. They moved up the bus’ route. When they saw the bus they waved it down, got on it and moved to the back seat. The girls leaned into Bobby on both sides and held on tightly to him. They were still in too much shock to cry, and both were visibly shaking. No one had said a word since the shooting had begun. Bobby put his arms around the girls and tried to comfort them.

(to be continued)