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Transgender people have it rough when it comes to finding love and acceptance. They are often marginalized, trivialized, or victimized. It is a shame that transgender people are bullied, but it is even more alarming when that bullying comes from within the community.
The transgender community is wide and diverse. We are not going to view all things the same, just like not all Americans view everything the same, or our families. We need to understand that different people have different ideologies and just like we want to be accepted for being transgender, we should accept that others might not have the same viewpoints as we do. Accepting doesn't mean that you agree, but that you respect a persons right to disagree. Arguing the point is well and good if you stay on target, but resulting in name calling is uncalled for and a form of bullying. Labeling people who don't agree with you as Terfs, truscum, and twerf is a form of bullying, especially since most people use these derogatory terms without fully understanding their meaning.
Discussing people behind their back is called gossip, and another form of bullying. If you are unwilling to confront the person directly, perhaps you should keep your displeasure to yourself instead of going off on some diatribe. Usually gossip gets back around to the person anyway, and then what? It's not worth it and I don't want to be a part of it.
Being transgender is hard enough, especially when dealing with mainstream society. Let's not complicate thing by bullying our own members.
Comments
^^^What she said!
There are so many schisms within the LGBTQI-etc ranks it really is pathetic. Why can't we remember that as people we are all so much more alike than different?
I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.
Yep I agree, especially where the L or G or B intersect with T
I agree that a het male to het female change is more dramatic in a story. But for transmen or women, being gay or lez is highly probable and valid. There are unfortunately subtle and not so subtle (like obvious jibes in a story) ways of being homophobic and that is another sad schism within our community.
I am asking that respect be offered in both story and comments. An example is, I don't recall which story it was from, but there was a dialogue between two adult characters where they talk about lesbian women and one basically said 'how do they have sex together (without a penis)?' with the other essentially saying 'I can't imagine.'
Please, that is unkind as the idea of two adults not understanding how two women can have sexual pleasure together is not realistic to say the least.
Please be kind to each other.
Behind Their Back?
Certain types of talking about people "behind their back" are justified and not bullying. For example, talking about a bully behind his back may be necessary to deal with him -- unless you actively confront him. Trying to talk things out rationally with a bully (or a certain type of authority figure) is a fool's exercise.
Try rationally explaining to someone beating you up, how beating you up is a bad thing. The best explanation there is a kick to the groin, a karate-chop to the neck, or a poke in the eyes. Alternatively, jumping back into a fighting stance and shouting "Hah!" gives fair warning, satisfies any duty to retreat, leaves the option open for the non-violent solution, and prepares you for a good sequence of kicks if he comes after you.
-- Daphne Xu
Obligatory Shameless Self-Promotion
See the nightmare sequence at the beginning of part 12, and the final scenes of part 13, of "A Bikini Beach Summer". In these cases, he (just after being "she") deals with the "certain type of authority figure".
-- Daphne Xu
Katie
I know you're wanting to be up to date on the community. But TERF is not a slur, it's not used against Trans people, in fact they are the enemies of Trans people. TERFs are the REASOn we cant get our surgery and hormones medically covered in a lot of insurances. Trans exclusionary radical feminists or 2nd wave feminists are the bane of our existence. They want us all dead, and they are extremely hateful towards the trans community.
TWERFs (Acronym for the Trans participators in the TERF movement) actively tell people that children should not be allowed to transition. That calling ourselves women is laughable. Essentially these people have got it in their head that it's okay to call Trans Women men, (which is an act of violence) and Trans men women, and that that's okay? Fuck that.
Truscum are the breed of Trans people who believe that anyone who doesn't follow the gender binary is a "trans trender" as if it's "hip and trendy" to be Trans. They actively seek to alienate our Non Cis allies, and are extremely damaging to our community. I have seen a person who went by Truscum who said you aren't a trans woman if you don't wear dresses and skirts 24/7 and make up and do your nails and watch romance movies.
It's utterly disgusting.
This is not bullying, this is calling out our community who are being extremely harmful. These members you mentioned have caused people to die, they are not our allies and it is NOT a good idea to align with them. If you don't believe me, find a cis woman named Cathy Brennan FYI She's driven a teenager to suicide watch and was proud of it.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Being clearer
I should have been clearer. Some people use the phrases Terf,Twerf, and Truscum for name calling, without realizing what it is. It just sounds like a bad thing to call someone and they use the label, perhaps to appear more transgender than the person they are labeling. I have my opinions about things. I am vocal. But I never once said I was infallible or that my position can't be changed on a lot of subjects. Resorting to name calling simply because a person has differing views than you do or they handled a situation differently than you would like is a tactic bullies use.
So far, people have referred to me as all three of those names and I am none. You want to call me religious, fine. You want to call me a zealot, fine. You want to point out things I have said and show me where you think I'm wrong, fine, I might actually learn something. You want to chat behind my backs and make public post about me that you think I won't notice, UNCOOL.
Also, if the phrase "I never read any of her work, but..." comes out of your mouth, do me a favor and don't finish the sentence. Not all my work is religious, not all my work is about kids, not all my work is about abuse, not all my work is dark, and none of my work is plagiarized (please quit spreading that bullshit and you know who you are).
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
clarity.
Now, I'm not saying we need to embrace our enemies. I am referring to people who like to throw the labels on people without providing any proof. Take the truscum reference. Though I never have said that someone has to be in transition in order to be transgender. I don't believe that. I have never believed that. But some bullies like to throw that word around and yet offer no proof or engage in any meaningful dialog about it. I mean, if I said something along those lines, I would like it brought to my attention because I must have wrote something I didn't mean. I didn't begin transitioning until I was 38, I wouldn't say I wasn't transgender before I started transitioning. I have a friend in his 70s that will never transition, that doesn't mean he isn't transgender either. Being transgender is about how you identify yourself.
I find it disheartening that people can't engage in civil conversation and have to resort to bullying. They talk about others behind their back and give them no chance to refute claims while spewing their hate. How can anyone reach a level of understand if they close their eyes, plug their ears, and shout on the top of their lungs nonsensical garbage? If a person is willing to learn, we should engage them in conversation. Most people live by their misconceptions and until they are shown the truth they will forever be in darkness. It doesn't help when members of our own community spread rumors and lies about others by labeling them as any of the aforementioned words without providing any evidence.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
Problem with that
There is no discourse to be had with the aforementioned. They refuse to learn, they refuse to listen. They only seek to get rid of us or to take away our voices and our power. They use their money and their political power to make our lives hell.
There is no reasoning with them, you have to understand this. We have TRIED, we have bent over backwards for them and the only way they will "accept" you is ifi you say you aren't a woman but a man pretending to be a woman because he hates masculine society and wants to be a gender nonconforming male.
The TWERFs are just that, Trans people who have given up their sense of self to get some semblance of Cis acceptance. Which is quite sad really, because we keep telling them that the moment things go sour they WILL be thrown under the bus. It's already happened to a lot of them, but that stockholm syndrome is strong. Traitors mostly is what they are though.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Huh?
"If you are unwilling to confront the person directly, perhaps you should keep your displeasure to yourself instead of going off on some diatribe."
Is this posting an "in general" thought, or aimed at a certain individual? I have no idea what any of those terms even mean, so I'd never use them anyway.
~Taylor Ryan
My muse suffers from insomnia, and it keeps me up at night.
Unless
You want to get into activism and fight the front lines. Do yourself a favor and DON"T look them up. They are absolutely terrible horrible people (TERFS/Gender Critical) they are essentially stockholm syndromed individuals so desperate for Cis approval (TWERFS) and they are the transgender police. (TRUSCUM)
There is no going back once you've learned what they are, that's why I'm warning you.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Hmmm
You had me at activism...
~Taylor Ryan
My muse suffers from insomnia, and it keeps me up at night.
You....
had me at hello.... Oops... wrong movie...
Love, Andrea Lena
I love that movie
If I get into any sort of activism, it will be for a Jerry Maguire 2!!
~Taylor Ryan
My muse suffers from insomnia, and it keeps me up at night.
No worries
We totally get that some of us cant be activists, just don't judge us when we are trying our best to get you your rights in the safest and most fair way possible is all we ask.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Everything
Everything I've read about those folks strongly indicates they're divisive and biased.
Love, Andrea Lena
So...
Apparently I wouldn't fit in with any of them. Because I hear they all hate the little kid in Jerry Maguire. Oh, and I'm genderfluid.
~Taylor Ryan
My muse suffers from insomnia, and it keeps me up at night.
Nice :D
Yeah that's one of the reasons we've changed a lot of the words to be more inclusive of ALL non-cis, not just Trans people.
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Also
Contacting TERFs directly is dangerous as hell. Cathy brennan and her ilk have been known to phone people's employers and tell them they are Trans to get them fired. Contacting TERFs (Who have REAL political piower and huge amounts of money) is identity suicide. It is DANGEROUS as hell, DO NOT DO IT IF YOU ARE NOT OUT TO YOUR EMPLOYERS AND FAMILY! She has called family to tell them someone is trans when they didn't want their family to know and even given addresses to terrorists to harm a teenage trans girl! DO NOT DEAL WITH THOSE MONSTERS!
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D