Jessie's Ride

Who Am I?

After I calmed down from my momentous mess up with Josie I cleaned up the snack plates and brooded. Cleaning helped but too soon it was done. I decided to get away for a bit. A ride on Gypsy was what I needed to clear my head. Back to the trunk again. I believed there were a riding skirt in there. Soon I found I was right so I put it on. My riding boots were by the door so at least I had them. I try to make time for Gypsy every day but the storm disrupted that. She's probability mad at me. I put my boots on and went off to the stable.

There was no sign of Josie or Ben anywhere. I hate this part. I am so short I have to use a stepladder to saddle Gypsy. I am stronger than I look but still not a easy thing to do! The look she gave me if a horse could be laughing she would be. After the saddle I got her bit and bridle so I could get that done. I put away the stepladder. At least this next part was fun. I backed up and took three steps and jumped. I landed right and scooted onto the saddle. Grabbed the bridle and off we went.

After about a hour of exploring the area I decided to head back. As we picked our way to the cabin the peaceful ride put me in a better mood. That did not last long. I took care of Gypsy then headed to the cabin. I could use a cup of tea I thought. I entered the kitchen and found Josie rearranging everything. Well I lost it at that point. This was My kitchen not hers! I was ticked off and not hiding it at all. What did she think she was doing? I told her to get out of my kitchen this was my place not hers find yourself some other way to help out here! She turned and held out a letter. I grabbed it and opened it. My jaw dropped as I read. I was being recalled to the main house. This was it I was dead. I can't go back there in a skirt! I would never live it down! I looked at Josie she was smiling. She had won without really trying. Ben came in and sat down. He glanced at the letter and said "So you know." That was all. He knew and was not going to fight it at all. I walked away there was no point in arguing. I had lost every way I could.

I packed the trunk, I don't know why I did. I went and got Black Rose out of the shed and loaded the trunk in the back seat. I got the trailer and loaded Gypsy for the ride back. I was running on auto the whole time. I guess my last month here will suck big time. I started the car and pulled out. Ben or Josie did not even come out to say goodbye. I did not even know who I was anymore. Life at that moment sucked.

It was early evening when I pulled up to the main house. I did not know what Aunt Helen would think about the way I was dressed but I had nothing else so here goes. I got out and went up to the door. Should I knock or just go right in? Someone must have heard the car as I got to the door it opened. There stood Aunt Helen. She looked me over from head to foot and burst out laughing. I felt two inches tall. I did not know what to do so I burst out crying. I raced to the trailer and let Gypsy out and slipped up on her back. I whispered in her ear "Take me away!" Gypsy was instantly in a gallop with me laying on her back. I don't know how long we ran like that , I did not care. She finally came to a gentle stop and I slipped off her back and sat down to cry some more.

It was getting light when they found me. Not that Gypsy would let them get near. When my Aunt got there she asked me to let her talk to me. I touched Gypsy's leg and she let Aunt Helen approach slowly. About she was ten feet away I took my hand off Gypsy's leg and my Aunt stopped. She looked me over and said "You've looked better but for staying out here all night you don't look too bad. Why are you dressed that way?" In a cold unemotional voice I told about the storm and it's aftermath. Pain was all I felt but the tale went on to tell of the talk with Josie and how I left there. I looked at her for the first time and asked "Who am I?"

It took her an hour to get me to let her any closer. I was one raw nerve. It was full light when she got me to come back to the house. She took me in and washed me like a child and dressed me in clothes from the trunk. Soft pretty top and skirt that fit me real well. She took me to the kitchen and placed a plate of food in front of me. I ate on autopilot till the plate was empty. I did not talk just did what I was told.

Who was I really? Rebel Boy, Girly Girl or a bit of both? Sixteen and I don't even know who I am? Why do I have to have feelings for both Josie and Ben? I can't even make up my mind there! Well it looks like I lost both of them anyways so I will put that aside for now. All I know that I do have is my Mustang and Gypsy. Gypsy is not even really mine she is owned by my Aunt. I should not even be driving my drivers license was in my nightstand and I did not even find a hint of where that went. Come to think of it all my money and I.D. was in there as well. That means I have no way to prove who I was or the money to replace any of the lost items. I guess I am truly screwed!

My Aunt was talking to me again pulling me out of my thoughts. "Jessie what do you think we should do about your clothes? None of the field hands are small as you so that is no help. Even most of the girls are larger than you so no help there. I guess you are stuck with what's in the trunk till we can get into town. That is something I can't do tell next week. Money is real tight so I don't know what we could do?" I leaned back and stared at the ceiling fan as it went around. "I don't know that's what I have been trying to think. The storm cleaned me out of everything I owned but one pair of PJs and my riding boots. There is not much in the mustang but no clothes there. We can call Uncle Frank and see if he could send what clothes I left there and some cash?" I said. That might work I thought. It was a plan maybe it would work, maybe not?

Aunt Helen took my hand and pulled me to her study. She picked up the phone and punched in the number for the Trails End Uncle Franks store. She put it on speaker. "Hello, Trails End how may I help you?" Said a soft yet strong female voice. It was a real distinctive southern voice. I put 2 and 2 together and got 48 a name popped into my head Lyn, Josie's older sister. Aunt Helen asked for Frank as I was doing my math. The voice said "He is out on a riding lessen can I help you?" I decided to take a chance at that point and cut in "Lyn it is Jessie it is real important he calls me at Helen's ranch as soon as he can." A startled Lyn responded "Jessie, my sisters Jessie? I will put through the message as soon as he is back." I replied "Please do, well this call is costing a ton so we will talk later." I ended the call.

I had a plan all was not lost I hoped. Now all I had to do is survive till Uncle Frank came through. I guess the rebel in me was rising to the challenge. It was strange I still had the girlish feelings and heightened emotions so I guess this time I am a rebel girl.

I felt Aunt Helen's eye on me I could tell she wanted to know what I was thinking but was afraid to ask. I blew out a sigh and told her hoping she could help me make sense of all this. It was the emotions that were kicking my but. Living with Ben I had let go of the brooding anger and found so much it was covering up. All the softer emotions surged up from hiding and now I have to deal with them. Was the anger a mask to hide from the world that I could be hurt so easy? Where did the anger go? I guess with Ben I felt protected and did not need the anger. I am not with Ben now why is the anger not there to protect me?

My Aunt listened to me musings letting me ramble on a small smile slowly coming to her lips. I stopped talking and looked at her. She knew something that I did not. That smile said that. I was tired of being in the dark so asked what she thought? She said "It was quite simple to tell what is happening with you. You are growing up and falling in..." I stopped her at that point I was defiantly not ready to hear that word. No I could not be doing that?

My Aunt got up and said "Tomorrow I am sending you back to the cabin. You need to be there to work this out. As to who you are I am not seeing a boy sitting here. The rest is yours to find out. By the way check on Gypsy she has been a terror since we brought her back." With that she walked out of the study.

I sat there for a few moments stunned. She had said that I was acting like a girl in... No I won't say it. This is too strange. Well I need to check on Gypsy. With that thought I headed to the stable. I found her giving the stable hands trouble. I hummed a light tune as I walked up and Gypsy calmed. The hands moved back to lick their wounds glad to be away from Gypsy's bad mood. I ran my hand along her side and calmed her with my voice. We linked on such a deep level it was scary. Being with her calmed me. I picked up a brush and started to brush her slowly. I was just letting go and being for the moment. I spent the after noon with her doing all the things I did not have time to do since the storm. It was nice.

About dinner time I headed back to clean up and get something to eat. I was calm and had a plan so all was good! I had no more problems till after I was done with dinner. I ran into the other unfinished piece of business that went by the name of Julie. "Well, Well look who jumped the fence. Life as a boy too hard for you?" She cackled. I stood my legs planted hands on hips ready to do battle. But it was not to be for at that moment my Aunt came up behind me. Julie backed down right away. Well she got a few shots in so what? I was ready and was not going to take it from her. Aunt Helen broke my train of thought by saying "Franks on the line." then heading for the study.

The call with Uncle Frank was short and to the point. He would send the clothes I left there and some money to buy more. He did not seem to want to know why or how I lost my clothes so we kept it short. It would be probably three to five days to get here. We ended the call fast he was busy at the store. I looked at Aunt Helen and quipped "Well at least that part of the plan is working. Another week in skirts would that be so bad?" She just smiled and walked away.

A little time later I went looking for Aunt Helen. I had a question for her. When I found her I asked where I should bed down for the night. The House was for the girls and the bunkhouse was for the boys but where did I fit? If I went to the bunkhouse in a skirt it would not be a fun night to be sure but to stay in the main house would not be right. She thought for a moment and said "I see your point I guess you will need to leave for the cabin tonight." It was all ready a long day but I would survive. Aunt Helen handed me a letter she had been writing to Ben and Josie. "This will explain the satiation to them what you do then is up to you." I sighed and nodded then went to repack the trunk into my mustang. I got Gypsy into the trailer in short order and was ready to leave. I hugged my Aunt and drove into the night.

So much drama for so little time was it only two days ago the storm was over? Well I need a plan for tonight. What am I going the do about Josie and Ben? Josie has worked as a cook since coming to the ranch so she won't give it up easily. I guess I could give her that for now. It would give me more time for Gypsy and fixing up the inside of the cabin. Yes that is settled. Maybe doing it this way will keep the fights down. If I leave Ben to do his thing and see what happens it should work out good. Five days to see if I can answer the question Who Am I? Maybe this will turn out to be a good thing after all.

I pulled up to the cabin about eleven o'clock. I was beat I had my Aunts letter and my plan so I felt almost in control of my life. Ben must have heard the car because he was standing in the cabin's doorway in his sweats looking puzzled. I was all brass and asked him to take the trunk in while I put Gypsy up for the night. He did not look happy but nodded. I did not wait to clear things up for him just went to work. After I put up Gypsy and parked the mustang in the shed I took a deep breath and headed for the cabin.

Ben was sitting in the living room and Josie was in the kitchen banging pots around not happy with me being back and not hiding it. I went into the living room and sat in a chair across from Ben. After a moment of rest I took out the letter and handed it to him. He looked at it and then at the kitchen door he sighed and called Josie out to here the letter. After one last bang the door slammed open and she strode out ready for a fight. Ben held up his hand to stop her opened the letter and started to read it out loud.

Dear Josie and Ben,

Everyone better be alive when I get there!
Helen

That was it nothing about what happened or anything. I was shocked. We were all just dropped into the deep end and told to sink or swim! Now what's going to happen?

Stay Tuned to find out! To be continued! Comments always welcome!