IM Buddy

Sydney Moya

©2014

Synopsis

Chris is a lonely teen who uses the internet to be understood. What will she find, a friend or a fiend?

“I just wish I could do something to end all this and be me,” Chris IM’d

“Yeah, I know what you mean, it sucks living a lie,” typed Chloe360

“So how old are you?” Chloe 360 typed.

“18,” wrote Chris without thinking.

Shit.

He’d wanted to write 23 so people could think he was more mature. Many people online avoided chatting to teens for their own security. Life could turn upside down for you if the powers that be decided you were a paedophile.

With his unique situation, there was no one his age to talk to and all the people who’d gone through what he had were mature adults.

“18, at least you’re still young. How long have you known?” Chloe responded.

“Like forever,” remarked Chris.

For as long he could remember he had not felt like a boy. Being one felt so wrong and then puberty had come and the feelings had just worsened. He had no one to talk to, as he suspected that his parents would not understand. Chatting online in TG groups late at night was a release which made things better somewhat.

It was where he’d found people like him and discovered you could get hormones online, information which Chris had used to self-medicate.

“Me too,” wrote Chloe back.

“How did you deal with it?” Chris typed.

The hormones and testosterone blockers had made her mental anguish easier but life more difficult as she had to hide the physical changes that resulted from the use of hormones. Still Christine knew all she had to do was see out her last year of school after which she’d put an end to the facade that was Christopher.

Chloe 360 and Christine grew closer as the months went by. Christine found herself feeling like she'd found a friend, someone who knew what she was going through, having gone through it herself and it made life so much easier to bear. They chatted almost daily. Christine found herself telling Chloe 360 all about her life, hopes and fears in a way she couldn’t with anyone else.

Chloe was a lifesaver. She told her she was a 35 year old mtf who’d transitioned 5 years before and had her surgery.

She was living the life Christine hoped for which naturally resulted in her looking up to her for advice and making her a role model.

Unbeknownst to her this was all a lie.

Chloe 360 was not who she claimed to be. On the other side of her ADSL connection sat a 46 year old man. Gerald Martin was not transgendered but a predatory psychopath hunting for his next victim.

His modus operandi was to lure vulnerable people by being a close friend to them until he got them to trust him enough to set up a meeting after which they wouldn’t be seen again. He’d discovered that transgendered girls were the easiest to lure in especially the teens that had no support or were too scared to come out to their families.

He would offer friendship, sympathy and advice all in a ploy to lure and bait his victims before instigating a break with their loved ones so that they would be only person they turned to.

Christine felt more and more isolated as high school drew to a close. Her parents were always going on about how she was going to be a man after this which for a transgendered girl is grating. She felt this disconnect from them, they had no idea who she was or how she felt.

In fact sometimes it seemed like they wanted to live out their dreams through her. She didn’t feel like her life was real and she struggled through it. Telling her parents Candice and John Olds that she was actually a girl didn’t seem plausible to her. She feared they would never accept her.

Her little sister Rhiannon was only 7 so she wasn’t any use in that department either. Both her parents had been only children and all her grandparents were deceased so there was no extended family she could turn to.

As Christopher she wasn’t the most sociable person around, she was one of those people who just faded into the background at school. Her condition made having friends difficult, she couldn’t relate to the boys as she wasn’t in her eyes one of them and since she was presenting as a boy the girls weren’t that interested in a quiet boy like him. Like many kids in her situation she’d found solace online, where there was a sizeable transgender community but even there friends were hard to come by since a lot of the people were around her parents age with issues quite different from hers.

Hiding was taking its toll on her. This is why she found Chloe to be a godsend.

As the other kids discovered and flaunted their identities she had to hide hers and be someone she hated. When everyone else was getting asked out or asking others out for Homecoming she was just alone. It was no wonder she confided so easily in the one person who tried to understand.

Her angst increased as the school year wore on. The other kids were getting prom dates and were so excited while she continued to hide herself.

“Yeah I know, it sucks right,” Chloe wrote in one chat

“I just wanted to wear a prom dress >sigh<” she responded.

“Me too,” typed Chloe, “I cried the entire night,”

“That’s sad,” Christine responded.

“You know you’re going to have to do something about this right. I think transitioning as early as possible is the best thing. I was miserable for years. I’d have done it as soon I turned 18,” Chloe advised.

At first Christine was reluctant to pursue this course of action, fearing what her parents would say or do but Chloe had an answer for everything.

“I know it’s hard but you’re gonna have to tell sooner or later and its better if it’s sooner,” she typed.

“I’m scared they won’t like it,” Christine replied.

“Fair enough but you’re on hormones, how long do you think you can hide their effects? Better you control the situation. If things don’t work out I’m willing to help you out,” remarked Chloe 360 which planted the seeds of an idea in Christine’s mind.

The idea that her friend would be there for her no matter what happened.

Chloe gently instilled this idea in her over some months until it got to the point where she offered her accommodation if things went pear shaped.

As a result Christine began planning to tell her parents. With Chloe as her backup plan she was more willing to take risks than she normally would and as a result was more careless.

High school drew to a close and she graduated in the top ten percent with a couple of bursaries to tide her through college, her parents were pretty chuffed and were so proud of her.

They went on and on about their little boy being a man now, which to Christine was nauseating though she understood the sentiment. They just didn’t know better and she decided to show them the light.

Two weeks after graduation she decided to talk to them.

Chloe had advised her to be forceful and ask to that they saw her as a girl. She basically insinuated that if they were less than enthused she could join her while she gave them time to see things clearly.

“Mom, Dad there is something I need to tell you guys,” she said when she’d got them seated in the family room.

“Sure sport, what is it?” responded her father cheerfully.

“I’m not like everyone else, I’ve felt different since I was 5 or 6,” began Christine.

“Sweetie, are you gay?” asked Candice asked worriedly.

“No I’m not. I’m transgendered,” said Christine, biting the bullet.

“Trans what?” asked John

“Transgendered, I want to be a woman,” said Christine.

John and Candace looked at their son, stunned.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not a boy,” Christine murmured.

“Of course you are,” said John immediately in a booming voice.

“No I’m not and I want to live my life as a woman,” she told them.

“What, who put this into your head?” Candace asked.

“All that internet that’s what,” John growled.

“I knew you wouldn’t understand,” said Chris before running to his room.

“Chris,” Candace called.

“No, let him be. We’ll talk to him later, when we’ve all cooled down a bit,” said John not knowing he would regret those words for ever.

When Candace went in to check if her first born had woken up the next morning, the room was empty.

to be continued