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I was sitting at the table in Ionne’s private quarters, eating dinner with her like this for only the second time. The first time we’d eaten together like this, I’d just learned that she was my mentor and I’d been a bit intimidated. But now, I’d known Ionne long enough to be a bit more comfortable and relaxed in her presence, at least when we weren’t in the middle of a brutal training session.

Ionne took a long drink from a cup of booze, something that smelled a lot stronger than the ale I was drinking. “After three hundred years,” Ionne finally said, her voice sounding tired, “Estrid has finally emerged from hiding.”

I took a sip of my ale, still not sure I really liked the taste, though I appreciated the fact that I was being treated as an adult and offered alcoholic drinks rather than soda. I watched Ionne, not sure what I could say at the moment. After all, when we’d returned to Val Halla three days ago to present Cindy to Freya, we’d also gone through an official debriefing. At the time, Freya had been completely professional, so I realized that she’d invited me to dinner so we could talk about this again at a more personal level.

“She seemed pretty…bitter,” I finally said.

Ionne nodded at that. “From what you’ve told me, Estrid has grown much stronger over these centuries. It seems that she may have paid more attention than I’d realized, and learned more than I’d suspected.” She paused at that, staring off into space before musing, “Of course, three centuries would have been a great deal of time for her to practice and discover her atra abilities on her own.”

“She’s better than me,” I admitted, staring down into my food. Sure, I’d fought her while injured and without my armor and preferred weapons, but she’d been holding back for most of our fight, and she’d been fighting under the mistaken assumption that I was kaern. I had a feeling that if I fought her again, even going into it prepared, she’d still win. As Ionne had just pointed out, three hundred years was a long time to practice and grow stronger.

“You will continue to improve,” Ionne said, giving me a faint but reassuring smile. “It merely takes time, training, and experience.”

I nodded in agreement, remembering Lindrell telling me the same thing a couple days ago. Ever since we came back from the mission, my triad had been taking it easy, resting and recovering. My injuries were now fully healed, and just in time since tomorrow we were going to go back to training. Lindrell had said we were going to be putting a little more focus on working together and fighting in formation since our teamwork had failed during the fight, and I didn’t know whether to dread this or look forward to it. Though Lindrell had admitted our failure to work as a team was her responsibility, her solution was for all of us to work harder.

“Estrid never should have been made Val Kyr,” Ionne told me quietly. “I take full responsibility for that.” She paused to take another drink, then added, “I have lived a very long time and what happened with Estrid is one of my greatest regrets.”

Ionne and I were both silent, and I felt just a bit uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going. Ionne was confiding in me, and I suspected that she hadn’t really talked to anyone else about this in a long time. I felt honored that she would trust me her personal feelings this way, though I wished I knew what I could say or do make her feel better.

“She seems to really hate the Val Kyr,” I finally said. “Why would being a convert make her so angry?”

“I have asked myself that question many times,” Ionne admitted. She stared at me for a few seconds, then said, “At one time, Estrid…Erik at the time…was a proud young soldier. One day, he suffered an injury that ended his military career and left him a cripple.”

I scowled at Ionne’s use of the word ‘cripple’, thinking of my dad and how he’d bitterly called himself the same thing when he was at his worst. I’d never liked that word, or at least not the negative connotations associated with it, but Ionne didn’t seem to realize or care that it wasn’t politically correct. In fact, I wondered if she even knew about the modern ‘politically correct’ movement.

“One of our recruiters kept watch on that bloodline,” Ionne continued with a frown. “She told me of Erik’s heroism and injuries, so I gave permission to recruit him.” She paused at that, taking another drink and seeming to completely ignore the plate of food in front of her. “Unfortunately, I allowed my personal feelings to influence that decision. I overlooked his pride, rigid outlook, and inflexibility. After he became Estrid, she was unable to adapt or accept her new life…so rejected it…the Val Kyr…and our purpose.”

“I think I know how she felt,” I admitted quietly, then quickly added, “At first. If it wasn’t for Julie and Lindrell…” I shuddered at that, finding it far too easy to imagine myself in Estrid’s place, in rejecting my new body as well as my place among the Val Kyr.

Ionne gave me a knowing look and a faint smile. “There are few men who actively desire to change genders, and few of those are fortunate enough to also carry a seed of val. For most converted, becoming Val Kyr is a challenge…and has only become more so over the last seven centuries. Perhaps I could have helped Estrid more, but I dared not do so. I kept my distance, for longer than with you, In order to give her opportunity to show her strength and independence…to show our sisters why she’d been recruited to join our ranks.” Ionne paused at that, frowning sadly and taking another drink. “I dared not approach her sooner, for I could not afford to show special treatment to a fresh recruit…especially one of my own bloodline.”

“Your bloodline?” I gasped, staring at Ionne in surprise.

“Yes,” Ionne responded with a sad smile. “Estrid is one of my descendants. Her grandfather was my great grandson.”

I continued to stare at Ionne, suddenly understanding why she had been so disappointed about what happened with Estrid. It wasn’t just a missed opportunity to bring back the atra…or even the feelings of guilt for failing as a mentor. This was even more personal, so I was a little confused about why she was telling this to me.

“I…I didn’t know,” I responded quietly.

“Very few do,” Ionne told me with a faint smile. “I would prefer if it remains that way.”

“Of course,” I immediately agreed. “I won’t spread it around.”

As I stared at Ionne, I continued to wonder why she would confide in me this way when I was one of the newest Val Kyr, but the answer was obvious. It was because we were both atra. Every other Val Kyr had others of their own pillar to talk to, and until very recently, Ionne had been alone.

For the rest of dinner, there were no more revelations and the conversation focused more on my training than on my encounter with Estrid. However, there was still the undercurrent which indicated that my encounter with her had changed things, and not just for me.

“You can expect more Val Kyr requesting to spar with you,” Ionne told me with a thoughtful look. “Most have never had the opportunity to spar with atra until recently.”

I understood exactly what Ionne meant, and what she hadn’t actually said. Now that everyone knew that Estrid was back…that she was with the daemonites…and that she was an atra…they wanted to know how to deal with her. And though I was still fairly inexperienced, I was still the best chance that most Val Kyr had to learn how to deal with an atra opponent.

“Well,” I responded with a chuckle. “I can always use more practice.”

“Good,” Ionne told me, seeming amused by my reaction. “It is wise to consider this another opportunity to improve your skills.” Then her expression turned grim again as she added, “And should you ever encounter Estrid again, you will need to be at your best. I doubt you would be so lucky a second time.”

I just nodded again, not sure what I could say to that. On one hand, I hoped that I did run into Estrid again so I could have another chance at her, but on the other hand, she sort of scared me. It wasn’t just the fact that she’d come extremely close to killing me, though that certainly was a part of it. What really bothered me was that everyone kept comparing me to Estrid, so I couldn’t help but thinking about her as what I might have become if things had only been a little different.

When we finished with our meal and conversation a short time later, I thanked Ionne and then started back towards my own quarters. I was still reeling a bit from everything that Ionne had told me, especially the admission that Estrid was one of her descendants. It was obvious that Estrid’s betrayal hurt Ionne far more than anyone else realized, and I couldn’t help but feeling sorry for my mentor and what she had to be going through.

I was halfway back to my quarters when I saw Jass walking down the hall towards me from the other direction. She was in the middle of a conversation with two of her friends when she stopped and stared at me with a sneer. “I’m surprised you didn’t run off to join that traitor Estrid when you had the chance.”

“Fuck you,” I spat out, getting more than a little tired of her insults.

I tried to continue on my way, but Jass blocked my path. Her friends didn’t look thrilled by this confrontation, but they made no move to stop Jass. “Did you hear?” Jass asked her friends, though her eyes were still locked on me, filled with a hateful expression. “When her triad ran into Estrid…she let Estrid escape.”

“From what I heard,” a new voice announced, “that isn’t what happened at all.” I glanced back and saw two more Val Kyr had been coming up the hallway behind me. The one who’d spoken was Bethany, who gave Jass a flat look and silently dared her to continue. “From what I’ve heard…by someone who was there…Michelle fought Estrid one on one…and was nearly killed by her.

“That’s what Shannon told me,” one of Jass’ friends said, only to get a glare from Jass in response.

“Obviously, that was just for show,” Jass insisted, still glaring at me. “They’re both atra…”

I snarled, growing angrier by the moment, and I was more than a little tempted to punch that bitch as hard as I could. For most of my life, I’d been conditioned not to hit girls, but just one day of training in Val Halla had almost completely wiped that away. Almost. I had no problem fighting a woman for real, or giving it everything I had when we were sparring, but I still hesitated to make the first move when she hadn’t done anything but insult me.

“I’m sure Freya would appreciate that reasoning,” Bethany pointed out with a smirk, which made Jass pale a little in realization.

“They’re both converts,” Jass spat out, saying the word ‘converts’ as though it was a profanity. “They can’t be trusted…”

I bit my tongue, struggling desperately to keep from saying anything about that as well. The last thing I wanted to do was to blurt out Ionne’s secret, even if it would have been REALLY satisfying to see the look on Jass’ face.

“Come on,” one of Jass’ friends said, grabbing her by the shoulder and scowling. “You’re making a fool of yourself…” Jass gave me a dirty look but didn’t resist as her friends led her away from us, though the one friend did give me an apologetic look as they left.

“Thanks,” I told Bethany, glad for her assistance since I had no doubt that if she hadn’t been there this time, Jass and I would have gotten physical.

Bethany just gave me a grin and said, “You certainly have a way of making friends.”

“I’ll say,” the Val Kyr beside her added, speaking for the first time. Then she grinned at me and announced, “Hey…shorty.”

I looked Cindy over, hardly believing that this was the same girl we’d recruited a few days ago. After her val had been awoken, she’d gone through a massive growth spurt, growing taller, bustier, and more athletic. She finally stopped growing at a height of 6 foot 2, and she seemed to delight in the fact that she was now taller than I was.

My eyes went to Cindy’s waist and the red sash that was now tied around it. Cindy had gone to the scales this morning, then she’d spent the rest of the day with her new mentor…Bethany. Of course, no one was really surprised that Cindy was jatta…not after seeing how much she’d grown. It was the jatta part of the val that caused all Val Kyr to undergo our physical changes and improvements, and since those of the jatta pillar had more of that particular energy, they tended to get a little more in the way of physical changes. As I’d finally noticed, the average height for jatta was a couple inches taller than for the other pillars.

“What was that about anyway?” Cindy asked, gesturing in the direction Jass had gone.

“Jass has issues with my being a convert,” I answered with a sigh.

Bethany nodded at that. “She’s pretty decent most of the time, but whenever it comes to Michelle here, she lets her bitch flag fly.”

Cindy chuckled at that, then gave me a curious look. “So, what is a convert?”

I let out another sigh, suddenly feeling a bit self-conscious. But while I tried figuring out how best to answer that, Bethany went ahead and did so. “You know how you just finished changing?” When Cindy nodded, Bethany continued, “Some Val Kyr change a lot more than others. Converts, like Michelle here, started off as guys before they changed…”

Cindy stared at me, her eyes going wide. “You’re shitting me…”

“No,” I responded with a weak smile. “Two months ago, I was a normal guy…”

“All Val Kyr are women,” Bethany explained with a chuckle. “Even if they weren’t before.”

Cindy just continued staring at me, making me blush and feel even more self-conscious. After a few seconds, she finally said, “I saw you in the bath last night, and you sure as hell don’t look like a guy to me…”

“I’m not,” I told her with a sigh. “Not anymore.”

“So, you’re completely female?” she asked, seeming to become more amused by the idea. “I mean, you have periods and everything?”

I nodded at that, blushing even more brightly, much to Bethany’s amusement. I wasn’t about to tell Cindy that my first period had just ended because I didn’t want to encourage any more questions in that direction. In fact, I didn’t want to even think about it, at least not until next month when I’d have no choice.

“So, how did you like your first day of training as a jatta?” I asked Cindy in order to change the subject.

“It was…interesting,” Cindy answered, giving Bethany a dirty look.

Bethany just laughed and slapped Cindy on the back. “We went easy for today, just to give her an idea of what being jatta is all about…”

“You call that going easy?” Cindy blurted, giving Bethany a look of worry.

“Don’t worry,” Bethany assured Cindy, giving her an almost evil grin. “We’ll go pretty easy for a day or two, then we’ll ramp up to a normal training regimen.”

Cindy gulped at that, then nearly squeaked out, “I can hardly wait…”

“I’ll leave you here,” Bethany told Cindy with a grin. “I’m sure you’ll be wanting a good bath after that workout, and I’ve got a few things I need to take care of before I can enjoy that luxury. You girls take it easy…and I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.” She gave Cindy another evil grin before she casually walked away.

Once Bethany was gone, Cindy turned to me and demanded, “Tell me she’s just fucking with me…”

“No,” I responded with a grin, making a show of holding my nose. “You really do need a bath…”

Cindy punched my arm, obviously not used to her new strength because it really hurt and was bound to leave a nice bruise. If I hadn’t been Val Kyr, it might even have broken my arm.

“I meant about the training,” she insisted, still looking a little worried.

“Oh that,” I responded with an evil grin of my own, rubbing my bruised arm as I did so. “You jatta are pretty sturdy and you heal real fast, so your training can get kind of…brutal.” Cindy went a bit pale at that while I slapped her on the back and said, “Come on, let’s get the others and get to the bath house before all the good spots are taken…”

Half an hour later, I stepped into the bath house along with Cindy, Julie, and Nicole. Since the four of us were the youngest Val Kyr and the closest to the same age, it was natural that we’d hang out together. Of course, Cindy didn’t really know a lot of other people around Val Halla yet, but I knew she’d make more friends soon…especially among the jatta.

“Congratulations,” Nicole told Cindy with a broad grin. “I’m glad you made it into the best pillar…”

“Oh, I didn’t know you made it into the notru,” Julie joked.

Nicole pointedly ignored Julie and continued talking to Cindy. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you got the tour of our hall, but I spent the whole day training with my triad.” Then she grinned and added, “We’ll definitely have to spar…”

“You’re just happy that you’re not the newest jatta anymore,” I pointed out to which Nicole just grinned.

When we reached one of the pools, Julie, Nicole, and I all undressed and climbed into the water. Cindy hesitated a few seconds before she began to get undressed, obviously self-conscious about doing so in front of other people. I could definitely understand that, but it amused me to realize that she was more embarrassed about it than I was.

“Come on in,” Julie teased. “We won’t bite…”

“Much,” I added with a grin.

“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about,” Nicole assured her. “Not with that body. Besides, we’re all girls here…”

Cindy’s eyes immediately went to me as she was obviously reminded of our previous conversation. I blushed at that and carefully avoided looking at her, not wanting to make her any more uncomfortable with me than she already was.

“Great,” Cindy exclaimed in annoyance, tossing her clothes aside and quickly getting in the water. “Now you guys are making me feel like a fucking prude.”

“You should have seen Michelle when we first got here,” Julie pointed out with a giggle. “I thought I was embarrassed, but she wanted to wait until there was no one else in here at all…”

“That would have been a long wait,” Nicole added with a smirk.

“I just feel like people are staring,” Cindy muttered self-consciously.

Nicole snickered at that. “Probably because some are. You’ve got a great body now and there are more than a few ladies around here who appreciate that…”

I nodded at that, having noticed quite a few Val Kyr checking me out at one time or another. And then there was the fact that it wasn’t at all uncommon for women to be making out with each other while bathing, or doing even more…while other people were in the room. I blushed at the memory, thankful that no one was doing that at the moment. It was pretty embarrassing…and admittedly…kind of a turn on at times.

“Are there a lot of lesbians around here?” Cindy asked, sounding more curious than anything. Then she quickly added, “Not that I have a problem with it or anything…”

Nicole snickered again. “I don’t know about being lesbians, but I think most Val Kyr are at least bi-curious.”

I nearly choked at that while Julie blurted out, “You’re exaggerating…”

“Not really,” Nicole responded with a smirk and a shrug. She looked Cindy and explained, “The val in your body really pumps up your vitality and everything that goes with it. I mean, you’ll notice that your appetite is a lot bigger than before…and not just for food. You’ll probably get turned on a lot more easily...”

Cindy’s eyes widened at that. “You mean I’m gonna turn into some kind of nympho?” However, instead of looking horrified, she almost looked intrigued, which made me blush.

Nicole snorted. “Nothing like that. You’ll probably just have a bigger appetite and enjoy it a bit more.” Nicole shrugged at that, smirking a bit at the same time. “It’s different for everyone. Anyway, when I first came here, I was straight as an arrow, but now I sometimes fantasize about girls…” She gave Cindy an exaggerated lecherous look that made Cindy turn bright red and shift position to try covering her body. The rest of us just burst out laughing.

“Quit teasing her,” Julie told Nicole, blushing bright red herself.

“Okay okay,” Nicole responded with a roll of her eyes. Then she changed the topic and said, “Anyway, I heard that Bethany is your mentor…”

With that change of subject, the awkwardness began to fade and soon we were all caught up in a conversation about our training and what each pillar did. Cindy paid close attention when Nicole told her about jatta training, though she looked a little worried as well. However, she also seemed pretty curious about the atra and how we did just a little bit of everything.

“But we don’t just do weaker versions of the other pillars tricks,” I had to add, showing my pride at being atra. “We have a few tricks of our own too.”

“Not that I’ve ever seen them,” Nicole teased.

“Not surprising either,” Julie reminded her just a little smugly, “since you didn’t even know the atra existed a month ago.”

Eventually, we’d finished bathing and slowly climbed out of the hot and comforting water. I was the last to leave, taking advantage of my position to watch Julie, admiring her gorgeous body and letting out a faint sigh. At times, it was really hard to remember we were just friends, and depressing as well.

Nicole leaned over and whispered, “You want to tap that ass, don’t you?”

“What?” I gasped, staring at Nicole in horror…or at least embarrassment at being caught.

“Don’t worry,” Nicole smugly added before she went over and picked up a towel and winked, “I’ve seen her check you out too.”

And with that, Nicole picked up her clothes and walked away, leaving me standing there and feeling stunned. After a few seconds, I shook my head to clear it, telling myself that Nicole was just messing with me. In fact, she’d probably made up that whole conversation just to mess with me. But on the other hand, I couldn’t help but wondering…what if she wasn’t?