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I’ve died and gone to hell. It was more of a figurative hell than a literal one, but there were daemons involved so I wasn’t going to rule that out entirely. What I did know was that ever since that first daemon had appeared at school, my entire world had been turned upside down and inside out. Nothing made any sense anymore.

Every time I thought of the daemons, especially the one who’d torn out my insides, I remembered the pain and terror. The very memory was enough to make me tremble. And though Lindrell had saved my life, it had come at an unbelievable cost. I’d lost my body, my identity, and nearly everyone and everything I knew. Ever since waking up in Val Halla, I’d been dazed and in shock, trying to make sense of it all. At first, none of it had felt real. I was lost in a sea of confusion and uncertainty and had grabbed at the only life preservers I had…Julie and the Val Kyr.

Julie was the only thing I still had from my old life, and I didn’t know what I’d do without her. Not only was she my girlfriend, but she’d also been my best friend for a long time, the only one who ever really got me. However, she seemed to think of this whole thing as a great adventure and I was pretty sure that she didn’t really understand why I couldn’t see it the same way. Nor, I suspected, did she realize that I was still upset at the way she’d lied to me about what was going, or about the fact that she’d been planning to sneak away without even telling me goodbye.

The Val Kyr were beings of myth and legend, and though I’d fantasized about being recruited into the Jedi order or getting a letter from Hogwarts, I’d never imagined that I would end up among the Val Kyr. Technically, Lindrell had asked my permission before converting me, though I hadn’t understand what my agreement meant at the time. But admittedly, if I had understood, I would have agreed anyway. Facing death has a way of opening your mind to new possibilities.

When I’d agreed to accept my position as a Val Kyr and get trained to fight daemons, I’d had several reasons. As Lindrell had pointed out, I didn’t really have anywhere else to go, at least not safely. However, that hadn’t really been my main reason to accept. The truth was, I was terrified of daemons and wanted to learn how to defend myself against them. If I ever ran into a daemon again, I wanted to be able to fight back…to be the one to tear it to pieces. I wanted to be strong like Lindrell, so I wouldn’t have to keep feeling afraid. And of course, there was my final reason. I’d hoped that by joining the Val Kyr, by dedicating myself to doing something as important as protecting the world from monsters, that this would have made everything worth the cost.

For a short time, I’d let myself feel hopeful that this would all work out, but that was before I’d gone to the scales. Thanks to being a convert, I was already an outsider among the Val Kyr. I’d seen how a lot of them looked at me, and I’d overheard a few snide comments that had been made during the celebration feast. And then that morning, when I’d been shown as not belonging to any of the pillars, I’d become even more of an outsider than I already was. While Julie was celebrating and being led into the notru hall with her new friends, I’d been left behind.

Lindrell had merely given me a sympathetic look, then hauled me off to an out of the way corner where she gave me a two hour lecture on the different kinds of daemons. I felt like I was back in class, and though the information was interesting, it was the kind of thing that she should have been teaching Julie too. Because of that, I realized that the main reason for that particular lesson was so that she could distract me from my self-pity.

Eventually, Lindrell had been called away from the lessons and sent off to some other task while I found myself sent to the kitchens to help clean up. As I discovered, every Val Kyr helped to clean and maintain Val Halla in some fashion, especially the young Val Kyr. And among the Val Kyr, anyone below a hundred was considered young.

I was standing in the kitchen, stewing in my self-pity and resentment as I worked at cleaning a pile of pots and pans. Considering the amount of food the Val Kyr ate at every meal, I wasn’t the least bit surprised by just how much there was to clean. And since I was low man…woman on the totem pole and had done my share of eating, I didn’t bother to complain about the chore, at least not aloud.

“Pick up the pace,” Hilde snapped at me from the other side of the kitchen. “We need those clean before we can start cooking dinner…”

“Yes ma’am,” I responded, glancing to the grumpy old woman who ran the kitchen.

Though Hilde only looked like she was in her mid to late twenties, she was still able to somehow radiate the same attitude as several grumpy old women I knew. I didn’t really know much about Hilde, but I got the feeling that she was a very old Val Kyr who’d seen too much and done too much, so had retired from actively fighting daemons and now just focused on feeding everyone in Val Halla. From what I’d picked up by listening, Hilde wasn’t the only one and there were a few other Val Kyr who’d also retired and now focused only on taking care of various things around the fortress.

Hilde was pretty gruff and no-nonsense, and she’d piled more and more dishes on me, snapping at me the entire time to scrub harder or work faster. However, I didn’t take her attitude personally since she was treating everyone in the kitchen the same way. There was one Val Kyr, who was busy hauling in food, who was being ordered about just as much as I was. In an odd way, this actually made me appreciate the woman, because she was treating me exactly the same as she was treating everyone else. At the moment, I didn’t really feel quite so much like an outsider. Of course, that didn’t mean I wanted to spend any more time scrubby dishes than I absolutely had to.

Half a dozen other people scrambled about the kitchen, working at various tasks. Only a couple of them were Val Kyr though. One of the things I’d learned upon coming into the kitchen was that there were actually normal women who worked in Val Halla, doing various cooking and cleaning tasks. I’d been a bit surprised by them since I’d thought there were only Val Kyr here, but one of the other Val Kyr had said, “These are women who want to help in our fight against the daemons, and since they can’t become Val Kyr, they help in other ways.” One old woman had proudly told me that her family had worked for the Val Kyr for seven generations, with Hilde supervising all of them. I could only imagine what it would be like, having that kind of a family legacy, as well as the same supervisor as your great great great grandma.

“New girl,” Hilde said, looking at me. “We’ve got some dishes out in the hall that need to be brought in.” With that, she used a large butcher knife to chop down through the meat she was cutting, going right through a thick bone as though it was nothing. Between her Val Kyr strength and whatever essence she had in that knife, she was making quick work of what she was doing. I just shuddered, imagining what she must have been like when she was actually fighting daemons.

I went out into the large hall that served as a cafeteria, and I saw a few some dirty dishes piled up in the corner. As I started to gather then, I noticed Jass walking past with another woman. Jass looked at me and smirked, then told the woman with her, “I’m not surprised they put the convert in the kitchens already. She wasn’t strong enough for any of the pillars, so she wouldn’t stand a chance against a daemon. At least in the kitchens, she’ll be useful.”

I grimaced as I listened to that, knowing full well that Jass had meant for me to hear it. I didn’t respond to her insults, though they did make me angry. Were they really planning on putting me in the kitchens full time? Were they really going to just wash their hands of me like that?

“Damn it,” I spat out bitterly.

After losing both my body and my old life, I’d told myself that at least it wouldn’t be for nothing. At least I’d been given the opportunity to become part of something great…that I’d be able to do something important. But now…now it was all for nothing. Instead of being a warrior who fought daemons, I’d be little more than a servant working in the kitchens. Hilde chose to work in the kitchens, as did those normal women, but I probably wouldn’t be given that choice. I laughed bitterly, remembering that when I first heard that I’d been drafted into the war with daemons, I hadn’t wanted anything to do with it. Now it seemed ironic that after I’d begun to look forward to fighting daemons, the opportunity was being taken away.

I wanted to yell, scream, and throw dishes around, but I didn’t. Instead, I grimaced and went back to work. I might not be happy with what was going on, but I wasn’t going to throw a temper tantrum like a little kid. Besides, I didn’t know that know that they were going to stick me down her permanently. All I had on that were the words of a woman who didn’t like me, and my own active imagination.

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” I reminded myself, knowing that Dad would chew me out if I did that. One of the things he’d always told me, back before he went downhill, was that you can’t jump to conclusions. You have to be patient until you have enough information to know what the real situation was. He’d been especially big on patience whenever we went out hunting.

It was with some difficulty that I went back to work, carrying the dishes back to the kitchen and then returning to my pots. As I did this, I couldn’t help but comparing this work to what I’d done at my minimum wage burger flipping job, which I obviously couldn’t go back to. That was one thing from my old life that I wouldn’t miss. So far, this work was a little dirtier, the boss was a lot grumpier, and the benefits...the benefits were definitely mixed.

Eventually, Hilde announced, “Not bad. You worked hard and didn’t complain too much.” I frowned at that since I hadn’t complained at all, at least not aloud. “Grab something to eat and take off.”

I didn’t need to be told twice, so I grabbed a turkey leg and a thick slice of bread, then hurried out of the kitchen as quickly as I could. Since I didn’t really know what else to do, I started back towards my quarters, deciding that I could definitely use a nap. I wasn’t tired, but I could at least use the excuse for a little privacy.

Before I reached my quarters, Lindrell found me, announcing, “There you are…”

“Hilde said I could go,” I said defensively, a little afraid that she’d chew me out for cutting out on the kitchen work.

“Good,” Lindrell told me with a faint smile. “I think it’s time we start on your training. If nothing else, the exercise should help you get more familiar with your new body.”

I wasn’t sure I liked the sound of that, but the fact was, I was actually kind of glad that she wanted to go ahead with the training. Since I didn’t qualify for any of the three pillars, I’d been pretty worried that she wouldn’t think I was worth the effort.

Lindrell took me to a room that was obviously used for weapons training, something that I would have immediately picked out even if she hadn’t told me why we were there. There weapon racks against one wall along with several training dummies set up.

Lindrell went to the weapons rack and pulled out two swords while casually asking, “Have you ever used a sword?”

I hesitated a moment, guessing that the toy lightsaber I used to play with as a kid didn’t count. I gave her an awkward smile and answered, “Does the prop sword I used for a Link cosplay count?”

“I’ll take that as a no,” Lindrell responded, handing me one of the swords.

The sword was a plain one-handed broadsword, and one look at the blade was enough to see that it was so dull that it probably wouldn’t be able to cut through anything. However, it would probably be able to do just as much damage as a baseball bat, though that obviously wasn’t its purpose. This was clearly a training sword.

“Come at me,” Lindrell ordered.

I hesitated only a moment, but not because I was afraid that I might hurt her. I had no illusions that I’d be able to do that, even if the sword had a real edge on it. Instead, I wondered just how bad I was about to get my ass kicked before I swung the sword at her.

Lindrell used her sword to block my attack, doing so with a casual ease. She made no move to return the attack and merely gestured for me to come at her again. I lunged at her several more times with the exact same result.

“Hold the sword like this,” she directed, showing me how she gripped the hilt. “And swing it like this.” She demonstrated a swing. I repeated the same swing in the air, then again as I attacked her. Of course, she blocked it. “Again.”

We continued with this sparring, or at least with my attacking her over and over while she continued to block and point out things like, “Watch your balance,” and “Don’t overextend yourself.” I grimaced in frustration at just how easily she blocked every attack, and soon it started to turn to anger. I had a lot of anger and frustration built up over what had been happening to me, and it all suddenly bubbled to the surface. Lindrell had given me a target, now every bit of it burst out and was directed at her. I leapt at her, swinging the sword as hard as I could, no longer merely trying to tag her as practice, but trying to hurt her for real. However, Lindrell continued to easily block my attacks, acting as though she didn’t notice that I was pissed off. That just pissed me off even more.

“Go ahead,” Lindrell finally said, giving me a grim look. “Let it all out…”

I didn’t hesitate to do exactly that, charging at her again. This was the woman who kept calling me out in class and embarrassing me. This was the woman who’d been trying to take Julie away from me. And this was the woman who’d taken away my body…my family…my entire life. Intellectually, I knew that she’d done this to save my life, but at the moment, I didn’t care about that. I just wanted to hurt someone and she was right there.

After five more minutes, Lindrell suddenly swung at me, catching me by surprise and hitting my arm with the flat of her blade. It felt like being smacked with a baseball bat. “Focus,” she snapped. “Just because you’re upset, that’s no excuse to get sloppy or distracted.”

I snarled and charged at her, only to have her knock the sword from my hands, then smack me with the side of her sword again. She stood back long enough for me to pick up my sword, then she attacked me and I tried to block, without much success. She swung at me again and again, smacking me on the arms and legs with nearly each blow, giving me one bruise after another. I tried using some of the moves I’d seen her using to block my attacks, and this worked a bit. At the very least, it reduced the number of times I got hit.

The nature of our sparring changed and Lindrell stopped pressing her attack, but she was no longer just blocking either. Every time I attacked her, I had to keep in mind that she could hit back, and I definitely didn’t want to get hit again. She was clearly holding back, but getting hit from even the flat of her blade hurt and I wanted to avoid that. I was so caught up in this that I didn’t even realize that I’d already burned off most of my anger, and the fight itself was now keeping me too distracted to dwell on it.

“What kind of daemon attacked us at school?” Lindrell abruptly demanded.

“What?” I asked, surprised by the question.

Lindrell swung at me, getting past my sword again and catching me in the side with a powerful blow that made me feel like I’d just been hit with a baseball bat…again. “What kind of daemon attacked us at school?”

I stared at Lindrell in confusion, wondering why she’d ask me something like that in the middle of our sparring. However, she just stared at me with the same look she had whenever she called me out in class. This time though, there were no other students for me to be embarrassed in front of.

Suddenly, Lindrell lunged at me with surprising speed and I barely got up sword up in time to block her blow. The impact was hard, much worse than any of her previous attacks, and she sent me flying backwards. I hit the ground and my sword went flying away from me.

“Perhaps I should rephrase the question,” Lindrell said, staring at me with an expectant look. “What kind of daemon was it that disemboweled you?”

“A hellhound,” I spat out angrily, remembering our lessons on daemons from a few hours ago. I’d been pleased to find out that it really had been a hellhound. Then I remembered the other name she’d called it. “A khorst.”

“Good,” Lindrell responded, kicking my sword over to me and then standing back patiently.

I picked up the sword and got back to my feet, wincing as I did so. My entire body was covered with sweat and bruises from this training session, and we’d been going at it for a long time. I was surprised to realize that, even though I should be completely exhausted, I still felt full of energy and ready to continue…at least as long as I could ignore the pain. I wiped my long hair from my eyes, silently cursing it and now understanding exactly why girls wore their hair in pony tails. I also understood why they wore sports bras, because all the moving and bouncing around was very uncomfortable. Still I grimaced and tried to ignore it.

“Again,” Lindrell ordered. I winced slightly at that, knowing that this was going to give me even more bruises, and then I charged at her again.

After another five minutes of sparring, Lindrell demanded, “What are daemonites…?”

“Magic users,” I answered grimly, trying to remember what she’d told me in the lecture. “Humans who control daemons…”

“Only partly true,” Lindrell responded, hitting me with the flat of her sword yet again. By this point, I was pretty sure that every inch of my body was covered with bruises. “Daemonites have their own power, which they have different names for. And like the val, it has different pillars…five of them. Most link them to daemons in some way, but they don’t all control daemons. Some are controlled by daemons.”

It was very strange to have Lindrell giving me a lecture while she was simultaneously trying to cut me in half with a sword. Of course, that was no stranger than the fact that she was also giving me a pop quiz on the lecture from earlier.

This time, Lindrell barely gave me any time before she asked the next question. “What does a daemonite summoner do?” I tried to think about that, but Lindrell took advantage of my distraction to smack my thigh with her sword. “Focus.”

“Damn it,” I snarled angrily, more than a little tired of being beaten like that. I quickly blocked another of her half-hearted attacks, realizing that if I took too long to answer, I could expect another painful blow to come. “They summon daemons,” I answered, though I immediately realized this might not be enough. “They can temporarily teleport daemons to them from the Twilight Realm…and control them when they do.”

“That will do,” Lindrell responded with a satisfied nod. With that, she lowered her sword and said, “We’re done training for now.”

I dropped my sword and then dropped to my knees, feeling exhausted, though it was more of a mental and emotional exhaustion than a physical one. Still, I was definitely feeling the training physically. My entire body ached, from my muscles to my bruises, and I was drenched with sweat.

“Are you trying to kill me?” I finally asked Lindrell, wiping my sweat soaked hair from my face again and glaring at my teacher. “I know you probably regret saving me, but…”

“No,” Lindrell stated, interrupting me. She stared at me for several long seconds with an odd expression. “I don’t regret saving your life, merely the cost we must pay because of it.” She crouched down beside me, and to my surprise, she gently put her arm over my shoulder. “I would be doing you no favors if I took it easy on you.”

“And beating the crap out of me is?” I demanded, also thinking about the way she’d always made a point of calling me out in class.

“You are intelligent and capable,” she told me with a faint smile and an odd look in her eyes. “But I have seen that left on your own, you are easily distracted and put forth the minimal required effort. In a classroom, that merely results in a poor grade, but against a daemon…it can result in not only your death…but that of those fighting beside you. As a Val Kyr, distraction and minimal effort will NOT suffice.”

I gulped at that while Lindrell stood back up. She held out her hand to help me up, and after a moment of hesitation, I accepted it. “I understand,” I said quietly, seeing that I had another strike against me, one that I hadn’t even realized.

“Make no mistake,” Lindrell told me, putting a hand on my shoulder and looking me in the eyes. “I want you to succeed. You have obstacles that most Val Kyr never have to face…being a convert and having no pillar. You will probably have to work twice as hard as most in order to prove your worth, but I believe you can. As your teacher, my job is to help you learn and be successful…and motivate you when necessary.”

I gulped, not sure what to say to that. After a moment, I cautiously asked, “So, what next?” After the day I’d already had, I was half afraid that it was back to the kitchen.

“That’s up to you,” Lindrell said with a gentle smile. “We’re done with training for today, but we will continue tomorrow.”

I winced at that, definitely not looking forward to getting the crap beat out of me with a sword again, or to another ridiculous and poorly timed pop quiz. However, there was one thing I was definitely looking forward to. “I can’t wait to take a shower…”

“Oh, we don’t have any showers in Val Halla,” Lindrell told me, making me gulp as I realized that I hadn’t seen any sign of a shower stall in the restrooms. Then to my relief, she gave me a friendly smile and asked, “Would a nice hot bath do instead?”