I suddenly realised Nadine had stopped. I turned round and saw the look of horror on her face. And then the realisation dawned on me, I’d said it out loud. We stood and stared at each other for a few seconds, my face must’ve turned bright red as I felt it burn up.

Disclaimer: There is a small amount of bad language and physical violence.

One Saturday Night

by Phantasi Boi

 

As usual, I sat next to my sister Nadine and watched the school’s 1st team play their football match. This was an important game, the Nottinghamshire County Cup for Schools semi final. Nadine’s boyfriend Josh Connor and captain of our team, very dishy as she put it, had the chance to win the match from the penalty spot. He stepped up, took a short run up and slotted it home sending the keeper the wrong way. The ref blew his whistle for full time; we won 2-1 with the last kick of the game.

There must’ve been about 150 or 160 home supporters, comprised of pupils, teachers and parents, stood or sat round the pitch, we all jumped up and cheered.

“My hero” shouted Nadine, dashing on to the pitch to hug Josh.

It was Saturday afternoon and as we walked home, Nadine was excited at the prospect of the celebrations with Josh later.

“What a guy” she sighed as she had a dreamy look in her eyes,

“Mmmm, yes I agree a real hunk.” I thought to myself.

I suddenly realised Nadine had stopped. I turned round and saw the look of horror on her face. And then the realisation dawned on me, I’d said it out loud. We stood and stared at each other for a few seconds, my face must’ve turned bright red as I felt it burn up.

“What did you just say Nicolas Victor Botham?”

“Erm, oh my god,” I yelled turning bright red and running the rest of the way home.

“Dinner will be about 10 minutes Nick, where’s your sister?” shouted mum as I flew straight past her and up the stairs,

I barged into my room and shut the door; I leant back against it and slid down to the floor, accidentally dragging my dressing gown down on top of me. It was hung on the back of the door.

I could hear footsteps coming up the stairs, “oh oh,” I thought “That’s gotta be Nadine, god, me and my big mouth, shit; what can I say to her.”

There was a knock, I stayed where I was. “Nick, can I come in?” It was Nadine.

I reluctantly got up and opened the door, there was just no point trying to stop her, I walked over to my bed and dived on it, hiding my face from her view.

She walked in, “Nick, are you gay?”

I can’t believe she just came right out with it.

“I can’t believe you just said that!!” I exclaimed, “I really can’t believe………” My voice trailed off as I turned and saw her looking at me with a big grin on her face.

“I do see things little brother, I’m not stupid and I’ve suspected it for some time. I’ve seen the way you look at guys, your reaction to cute or hunky ones. I love you Nick, you’re my favourite brother.”

“I’m your only brother.” I replied, looking rather sheepish. I still hadn’t admitted to anything.

“Shit,” I thought “she thinks I’m gay. If she only knew. She’d kill me, I’m sure of it.”

“Guys, dinner’s ready.” Shouted mum from downstairs.

Nadine gave me that look, the one that says, “Well, am I right?”

I looked at her, “No sis, I’m not gay, I’m not!”

She looked as if she didn’t believe me and turned to leave, she paused, turned back and said “Maybe you’re not, but there is something and I will get to the bottom of it, so you might as well tell me. Come on, let’s eat dinner, we’ll talk later.”

I love my sister, we’ve always got on, there’s only 2 years between us, I’m 14, Nadine’s 16 and depending on her grades, she’ll be heading off to college or uni, to study medicine, she wants to be a doctor. She’s got the brain, I think she’ll make an excellent doctor one day, I gotta say she’s also got that special caring and sensitive nature. She could be a nurse if she doesn’t make it as a doctor, maybe any of the medical profession. But her main aim is to become a surgeon eventually.

In a way, I was a little sad when she changed her mind about careers a couple of years ago. I was her practising model and she was intent on becoming a beautician. Many nights I sat at her dressing table watching as she tried different looks on my face, hair and nails and I would pretend to hate every second of it.

In truth I loved the way the make-up felt and made me look so much like a girl, but she never tried any clothes on me. That was for when I was home alone, sneaking to Nadine’s room to try on her clothes.

Luckily, I take after her and mum in looks, very lucky I guess. The only thing that was unlucky is that I was born with a genetic abnormality; yes I was born with XY chromosomes, instead of XX.

I guess, the onset of puberty will sort me out, but as yet, no sign of that. I often get teased at school and my slightly effeminate mannerisms don’t help, I’ve got used to it though and usually the worst that happens is they call me Nicola, although I have had one or two scares, but nothing serious. I’ve been mistaken for a girl on numerous occasions outside school and have to smile about it. Of course, I never correct the mistake.

Mum’s a nurse at the local hospital, now you know where Nadine gets it from, she’s on nightshift this week, so as we sat down to dinner, she was upstairs getting ready to go to work.

Dad’s a solicitor and he was away at a football match down south, he follows the local team all over the country, personally I don’t understand why he goes so far, I do enjoy going to the home games, but it’s such a long way to go for 90 minutes of football, I think he’s gone to Brighton today, he should be back around midnight.

That means I’ll be home alone from about 8ish when Nadine goes to meet Josh. Perfect, I get to make myself beautiful for a couple of hours. Those nights of being made up helped immensely. I learnt so much from Nadine, unbeknown to her.

“So Nick, what you got planned for tonight then?” Nadine asked.

“Nothing much” I replied “I’ll probably just do a bit of surfing, modify my profiles a bit or sommat.”

“Well just remember, be careful, some guys are total perverts. And if they find out you’re really a boy they won’t be too impressed.”

I sat there, looking like the smiley that has its mouth wide open. I was totally gob smacked. “What the fu…..”

“Now now little bro, watch your language. Haha, I’m just teasing. You always bite.”

My red face, I always blush so easily, “Judging by the colour of your face, I could be nearer the truth than I think.” She teased

“Stop it sis, you know it doesn’t take much to turn me red.” I was starting to get annoyed now.

She wasn’t letting this drop so easily. “Nick, there really is nothing to be ashamed of you know, if you need to talk to someone, I won’t judge you. I’m serious, I don’t know exactly what’s going on in that head of yours but, maybe I can help you.”

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence.

We loaded the dishwasher as mum came down, “Right guys, I’m off” She said kissing us both on the forehead,

“Nadine, please make sure you’re home before midnight or your father will be cross, his team lost today, you know what he’s like when that happens. And Nick, don’t sit at that computer all night, you’ll ruin your eyesight, I wish you had some friends to go and hang out with, I do worry about you sometimes.”

“Bye mum, have a good night at work” we both said together.

It was about 5.30 and Nadine’s mobile wolf-whistled her, I love that text message tone, I have the same one, it’s so cool.

“I bet that’s Josh” I said

“No smarty pants, its Claire actually, she’s just text to say she’s gonna be late and we’re to meet her there. Which means I have an extra 20 minutes to get ready now I don’t have to go to her’s 1st.”

“Wonderful” I thought, “I got an extra 20 minutes to wait to get beautiful”

She saw the look on my face, “Why do you look so disappointed Nicolas? It seems like you can’t wait to get rid of me.”

“Not at all sis, you know I love spending time with my favourite sister.”

“Hmmm, ok then, so what’s on your mind little brother? Come and talk to me while I sort my stuff out for tonight.”

I followed Nadine to her bedroom.

“I really need to talk to someone” I thought, “Maybe, just maybe, Nadine is the right person to share it with. After all, she is my closest friend as well as my sister.”

She started unpacking a carrier bag that was on the floor next to her dresser. “I went shopping with Claire this morning, bought some new make-up. Come here Nick, I wanna try something. Sit down bro.”

I did as she asked.

I keep my hair long, for obvious reasons, plus I’m a teenage dirtbag as the Yanks would say, I’m so into heavy metal. I love my hair, it’s blonde, naturally blonde, I keep it straight and have it in a pony tail for school, taking it out when I get home.

Mum’s always going on at me to cut it, she says I look like her and Nadine when they were the same age, I love it when she says things like that, although I normally complain to her, to give the impression that I hate it. But she knows I love heavy metal, same as dad, so that’s an excuse to keep it long and I have dad on my side there, even though his is short now, but I’ve seen photo’s from back in the 80’s and his hair was longer than mine.

My parents were real ravers back in them days, mum used to wear the shortest skirts; she could still pull it off now I think, even though she’s nearly 40.

Nadine starts brushing my hair, hers is a little longer but she tells me she wants to try something so she can see what hers will look like.

“Ok,” I say, smiling inside.

So she styles it, and when she’s finished, says “Wow, little sis, that looks cool.”

I scowl at her, “Nades, don’t call me that.”

“Hmmm,” she says thoughtfully, “I’ll need to make you up to get the full effect.”

I scowl again, trying to give the impression that I’m not enjoying this. She smiles, a strange look on her face, had my blue eyes betrayed me? I didn’t realise at the time, but she saw them sparkle, I was happy, totally happy as she applied the make-up. She studied me for a few moments.

“Hmmm, that looks pretty good,” She said, “Damn; I wish I’d got you to take that t-shirt off beforehand. We’ll have to be careful not to ruin the look.”

“Why do I need my t-shirt off?” I say

“I told you, I want to get the full effect, which means I need you to put my dress on too. Little sis, you may not realise but, you are a smaller version of me. The only difference being, you don’t have mounds of flesh growing on your chest. Yet.”

“Whoa, what do you mean yet?”

She smiles sweetly, “Nothing, now help me take this t-shirt off. That’s good; I think we did it without doing any damage.”

There was a wolf-whistle. Nadine checked her phone and replied to the message smiling. “Probably Josh” I thought.

“Right Nick, here, put this on” She handed me a pink lacy bra and panty set.

“Oh wait, put this on too” she added, handing me the suspender belt to go with it.

“Wow,” I thought “my dreams are coming true.”

I went to my room and changed into the lingerie, tucking my penis as I had on so many occasions before. I walked back in to Nadine’s room, she looked at me,

“Yes, that’s good Nicolas, or maybe I should say Nicola. Wow, you’re as flat as me under your panties, how did you do that? Hmmm, looks like this isn’t the 1st time, I know I’ve done your make-up and hair before but I’ve never got you to put panties on. I’ve got an idea, sit down, I’ll paint your toenails, Then I better start getting myself ready for tonight. So Niki, how long have you been wearing my panties?”

I was horrified and it must’ve shown “Hey, don’t worry sis, I won’t tell anyone. I’ll even sort some clothes out for you to wear if it stops you borrowing my best stuff.”

She finished my toenails and handed me the varnish, “I know you can do your finger nails, you’ve done them before, I recall.” I blushed again, I wish I didn’t, but I couldn’t help it.

“I’ll let you put your face on too, while I take a shower and start getting ready.”

In a state of shock, I painted my finger nails while my toes dried. I then let my fingers dry as Nadine came out of the bathroom in her towels.

“Here sis, put these stockings on,” She handed me some pink fishnet stockings and I sat on the edge of her bed and put them on, rolling them up professionally.

“So little sis, how long have you been a cross-dresser?”

“I’m not a cross-dresser” I replied.

“Well why do you like wearing girl’s clothes and make-up then?” She asked.

I’d researched on the internet and knew I was trans-gendered, I don’t get any sexual pleasure from ‘dressing’, it makes me feel complete, it feels natural. How could I tell my sister that I wanted to be female or that I saw myself as female?

“Ok Niki, I’ll tell you what I think and then you either agree or disagree. I’ve read up online about this, I’ve had my suspicions for a while now. And I knew if I got you ‘dressed’ I could get you to talk to me, sorry sis, I’ve set you up. If you’re not a cross-dresser then you must be either a female or trans-gendered, I’ve seen you naked often enough to know you’re not female. So, my guess is that you feel that you are or should be female. Am I right?”

I sit there, my head bowed and just sigh, then, with tears in my eyes, I look at Nadine and nod, then I burst into tears and she hugs me close.

“I can’t go and leave you like this, I’ll call Josh and tell him you’re ill and I’m staying to look after you.”

“No sis, you can’t do that, I’ll be fine. You’ve been looking forward to tonight. I’ll be ok, really.”

“Are you sure Nick? I love you little brother, if you’ve got problems, I wanna help you deal with them.

“Really Nades, I’ll be fine, stop worrying. I can text or ring you if I need you.” I tried my best to re-assure her.

“Ok, but this is serious you know, I can’t remember the figure, but there is a high rate of suicides in the trans-gendered community, Like I said, I’ve researched this. We need to do something about it, the longer you keep it inside, the worse it’ll be. At least you’ve got me to talk to now and I’ll help you as much as I can. I’ve been thinking of the course I wanna study eventually at uni, if they do it, somewhere must do, I wanna specialise in gender re-assignment surgery. One of my internet friends is a T-Girl; she’s saving up for surgery.”

I was shocked at the way Nadine was talking, I knew she was a caring and sensitive person, but I had no idea she knew anything about and was supportive of my situation.

“I’ve spent many a night chatting to Melissa online, she lives in Manchester in the Village, she keeps inviting me to go over and go clubbing with her, but I’m not sure, I don’t know if Josh would approve, he’s such a macho man. But I’ve seen pictures of Melissa and just like with you, there’s no way she could be mistaken for male.”

I smiled, I hate being male, why did I have to be born with my genetic abnormality.

She hands me a pink dress “Right, now, here, put this on, oh and attach the suspenders to your stockings. Wait Niki, hmmm, I know, I’ve got just the thing.”

She takes back the dress and searches in her wardrobe, finding a white miniskirt, she hands it to me. A thoughtful look was on her face.

“Take them stockings off, put these on, white will look better than pink and then you can wear this black blouse with the skirt. There’s some white ankle boots in the bottom of my wardrobe too, be careful though, they are 3 inch heels. Now, I’d better put my dress on, Josh will be here soon.”

I put the skirt and top on and fished the boots out, I put them on, perfect fit, we’re the same size. I’d tried these on a few times so I knew anyway and I know how to walk in them. I showed her.

“How do I look?” I ask, I’m grinning wide, I’ve never felt so good.

Nadine turns round as she’s putting some earrings in her ears, her mouth opens wide. “Fuck” she says, “I…I mean, my god. I’m seeing myself, only” she gulps “better. And you can walk in those heels too. Look in the mirror Niki.”

I look in her full length mirror, I can’t believe my eyes. I look just like Nadine, except for the lack of breasts. “Nades, I can’t believe that’s actually me. I wish I had breasts, I really do.”

“I’ve an idea,” She switches her monitor on, we have broadband and it’s always connected. She types ‘breast forms’ into Google and it brings up a list of several UK suppliers.

“There you go Niki, have a look through those. How do I look?”

I turn to look at my big sister. “Absolutely gorgeous, Josh won’t know what’s hit him. I’m so glad I take after you and mum instead of dad, I know dad’s cute, but he’s way too masculine, if only I could change my Y for another X.”

We both collapse in fits of giggles, sounding just like a couple of girls.

The doorbell rings, “That’ll be Josh, you sure you’re gonna be ok??”

“Yes, go and enjoy yourself sis, I’m looking at these and there’s other stuff I’m gonna check out too.

“Ok, give me a hug and don’t leave it any later than 11.00 to take all that stuff off, the make-up remover is on my dresser and leave to clothes on my bed, I love you Niki”

“Love you too sis, and thanks for being my sis, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I hug her tight.

I sit at Nadine’s computer, I’m searching for breast forms, I’m starting to get an idea of what I want, so I log on to eBay and I’m surprised to see a few different eBay stores that supply the trans-gendered community.

I’m busy reading, I’ve found a trans-gender site called ‘The BigCloset’ and I’m reading a story about a boy who’s forced to become a girl by the bullies at his all boys school, they ambush him at home and glue his privates up to make it look like he wants to be a girl, it’s a great story and I soon become engrossed.

I’m so engrossed in it that I don’t realised the time, it’s just after 11.45, the front door opens, I don’t hear it, someone creeps up the stairs, I don’t hear them, I do however, hear a tapping as someone knocks on my bedroom door. I start to panic, I see the time and Nadine’s not due back yet. I gulp as Nadine’s bedroom door opens, I’m frozen to the spot and Dad walks in.

“Hi Princess, where’s your brother?”

He thinks I’m Nadine, my god, I smile weakly, shrug and the front door opens again, oh crap.

Dad steps into Nadine’s room and gestures for me to be quiet. He thinks it’s me coming up the stairs, I gulp. As the foot steps draw near, he steps out,

“Nicolas Botham, what time do you call………………….. Nadine!! But, but how? What the fu……….”

“Daddy!! Language” Exclaims Nadine.

Dad’s mouth is open wide as he looks from Nadine to me and then back again, “What’s going on here?” He’s in total shock. “Where’s Nick? How come there’s 2 Nadines? How is that even possible?” He suddenly stops, “Oh my god, stand side by side, oh my god” He stares for a few seconds. “Nicolas Victor, or is it Nicola Victoria? The only difference I can see is that one of you has breasts.”

Dad sits on the end of Nadine’s bed, his head in his hands.

“Daddy, I’m so sorry, I wanted to tell you. I want to be a girl, just like Nadine. I want breasts too,” I start to cry; Nadine puts her arms round me to comfort me.

He suddenly lifts his head up, I can see the look on his face, the look of fury. “You fucking freak, you little fucking pervert” He screams at me.

“He’s gonna kill me, shit, I’m dead” I think as he moves towards me, he grabs my arm and starts dragging me out the room, Nadine tries to free me, dad’s lost it, he’s absolutely insane, he pushes Nadine off, luckily she lands on her bed. I struggle and get free; I run down the stairs, open the front door and flee into the night.

I walk for maybe half an hour, I wander through the town, my arms folded across my chest, tears trickling down my cheeks, burning my skin in the cool night air. I’m not sure where I’m going, not knowing where I can go.

A car suddenly pulls up beside me, Nick get in, I turn and look, it’s Claire, Nadine’s best mate. I carry on walking “Leave me alone” I shriek, sounding very much like a girl.

I hear a car door open and shut, footsteps running after me.

“Nick please stop.” There’s a short pause. “Nicola please.”

I stop, my arms still folded across my chest, I turn round. “What?” I say and the tears turn to a torrent of sobs.

Claire’s arms envelope me and pull me towards her, “Come on sugar” she says softly, “Let’s get you home.”

I start to panic, “I’m not going home, I can’t, he’ll kill me. Oh Claire, dad’s gone ape, he tried to hurt me, he called me a freak, a pervert” I broke down again.

“Shhh, it’s ok baby, my home, Nadine rang me, and she asked me to take care of you. Come on, get in the car, I’ll take you to my flat. Hey, your mascara’s running, you need to fix your face.”

I smile weakly at her, “Ok, thank you Claire, you won’t tell anyone will you?”

“Nicola, why would I tell anyone? You’ve always treated me like another sister, so that’s what we are, sisters, ok?” I nod

She starts walking me to her car and helps me in the passenger seat. She walks round to the driver’s side, gets in and drives the short distance to her town centre flat.

I sit down on her sofa as soon as we get in the flat, I must’ve dozed off because the next thing I know is I’m being gently shaken awake.

“Nadine honey, hey sleepyhead, come on, lets get you to bed”

I wake with a start, I’m in Nadine’s room, at her computer desk and its dad, shaking me, he lifts me gently and puts me on the bed. I open my eyes and scream,

“It’s ok princess, its daddy, no one’s gonna hurt you.”

“He thinks I’m Nadine, oh shit, not again.” I think.

“Where’s Nick? I thought you were going out and he was staying in.” He says softly.

“Daddy what are you doing?” It’s Nadine from behind him.

Dad freezes, looks down, turns round and sees my sister; she’s stood open mouthed looking at me.

“O….k,” says dad, still softly, “will someone please tell me what’s going on here? I know I’m not seeing double, Nicolas, why are you dressed in your sisters clothes and why were you asleep at her computer?”

“He’s calm, that’s good” I think, “Now do I tell him the truth?”

Dad sits on the end of Nadine’s bed, his head in his hands.

“Daddy, I’m so sorry, I wanted to tell you. I want to be a girl, just like Nadine. I want breasts too,” I start to cry; Nadine comes over to me and puts her arms round me to comfort me.

He suddenly lifts his head up, I can see the look on his face, the look of confusion. “I think I need a drink, can I get you 2 ladies one?”

He gets up, leaves the room and walks downstairs.

Nadine & I stare at each other open-mouthed.

“Well,” I say “I wasn’t expecting that”

“Me neither, you told dad, you just told dad you want to be a girl.”

“I know, I was shitting myself too” I tell her of my nightmare. “Then I woke up with dad leaning over me and just screamed, he thought I was you.”

“Claire can’t even drive yet silly, she’s not quite 16 even” We both giggle. “What are we gonna do with you little sis?”

Dad shouts up to us, “Will you both come downstairs please kids, I think we need to talk.”

We get up, refresh our make-up, leave the room and head downstairs. Dad’s in his study, we walk through and he motions us to sit on the sofa.

He offers us a drink. Dad’s not a big drinker, but he does like the odd drop of brandy, he doesn’t agree with us kids drinking either, but he lets us have alcohol on special occasions. “Funny,” I think, “I don’t recall this being a special occasion.”

We both politely decline.

He looks at us, “It’s amazing, I really can’t tell the difference between you, except,” He blushes, “except, I’m presuming Nicolas, you’re the one without breasts.”

My turn to blush, I nod “Yes daddy, that’s correct.”

“Well I………don’t know what to say now, I really don’t, I’m shocked. Do you want us to call you Nicola or Niki or Nick or what? Does your mother know?”

Nadine speaks up, “Don’t be angry with Niki daddy, it’s not her fault, she can’t help the way she feels. Mummy doesn’t know, at least, neither of us have told her or anyone else, only you.”

“Daddy, are you angry with me?” I start to cry again. Nadine put her arms round me.

“No sweetheart, I’m not angry, how can I be angry, like your sister said, it’s not your fault. Quite frankly, I’m not entirely shocked either; we thought you were gay to be honest.” Dad was still speaking softly, I was relieved.

“I represented a transsexual a few years back, very nice girl she was, I felt really sorry for her, she’d been attacked for no other reason than she was a TS. The jury found the thugs not guilty even though the evidence was overwhelmingly for a guilty verdict, the Judge though, she overruled the decision and the 3 thugs got 3 years each, not the best outcome, but it shows the intolerance of the human race. Thankfully the laws are changing and so are people, but there’s still a lot out there that are homophobic”

“Daddy, I’m not gay, homophobia is aimed at homosexuals, I’m transsexual, I’m not gay” I tried to explain, not sure if he understood but at that moment in time, the main thing was, he sounded like I had his support.

“Nicolas, Nicky, Nicola,” he frowned, “Sorry sweetheart, it will take time. Nicola, you are my son……daughter……. erm, child, whatever or whoever you are or want to be, I love you and I will support you. I’m sure your mother will say the same, although I can’t speak for her. Now, I think its time we all went off to bed, it’s nearly 1.00 in the morning and we can talk about this tomorrow with your mother.”

“Come on sis, let’s go up, I’ll find you a nightie to wear” Nadine grabbed my hand, we went and kissed dad goodnight, “Night daddy,” we both said “Love you.”

“Night girls, love you too, sleep tight.” He replied, kissing us both on the forehead and hugging us tight.

We climbed back up the stairs, Nadine fetched her make-up removal stuff and we went in the bathroom and removed our make-up.

“Well sis, looks like you’re gonna need those breast forms after all, did you see any you liked?” Nadine asked me as we went back to her room.

“I saw loads” I replied, “Not sure which size to get though.”

“See what mum says, maybe you can grow your own.” We giggled at the thought of me growing breasts.

“Right Niki, let me find you a nightie, you better get undressed, might as well leave your panties on cause you can wear a babydoll and I don’t wanna see your bits dangling down.” We giggled again, such a girlie thing, it’s great.

She handed me a pink babydoll, “You like putting me in pink don’t you Nades?”

“Pink suits you sis. It suits me too, I love pink, so girlie and feminine.” She replied.

I had to agree with her, such a wonderful colour, guys don’t wear pink, well, some do, but I’ve always thought there’s something suspect about a guy in pink. Mmmm pink, I think I need to redecorate my room.

We said our goodnights and went to our own beds, I climbed in feeling happy and relieved. My first night sleeping in a nightie, I curled up and started drifting off.

I woke up with a start, I was being shaken rather roughly by my mother. “Wake up you little faggot, time to get up, you wanna be a girl do you? Well? Answer me you fairy.”

I started to cry, why was mum being so nasty? Why? I shouted out, she held her hand over my mouth, I noticed behind her, a man in green clothing, like they wear in the hospital operating theatres. Somebody held me down and my mother pulled back the sheets. Nadine and my dad were stood at the door laughing. Oh my god, suddenly I saw people from my school starting to crowd in, they were all chanting “Chop em off, chop em off”

Mum pulled my panties down and then she laughed and grabbed my tiny penis. The doctor had a carving knife in his hand, he swung it and my mum lifted my penis up to show me, “There you filthy little faggot, there, now you’re a girl, now you can wear pretty pink dresses and grow your own tits, now you can be a proper little bitch”

I screamed load, I felt arms wrapping round me and suddenly realised, my daddy was holding me tight and comforting me, Nadine was sat there too, stroking my hair. “Damn nightmares” I thought, suddenly I felt safe, I calmed down and clung so tight to my father.

I explained about the dream, we heard the front door open and close. I started to shake. “It’s ok princess, it’s ok, it’s only mummy coming home from work, you know she won’t hurt you, don’t you?”

I nodded, A few seconds later; mum popped her head in, “Is this a private party of have you room for one more? Nick, why are you wearing your sister’s nightie?”

Dad got up and went over to mum, he got her to sit down. “Niki has something to tell you love, you might want to sit down. “

She sat down, right next to me, “Niki is it? When I went to work last night, you were called Nick. You always complained if anyone called you Niki, because it was too girlie. I also remember you telling me there was something suspect about a guy in pink, more than once. Nick, you’re wearing pink and you have nail varnish on, explain please.”

“Well mummy, please don’t be upset or angry, but I really would like to be a girl, I want to be a sister to Nadine and a daughter to you and daddy.”

Mum laughed, “A girl? You want to be a girl? Sweetheart, you’ve always been a girl to me.”

She hugged me to her bosom and we both cried, half in relief and half in happiness. Nadine and daddy climbed on the bed and we had a family hug and a family cry.

The End