Sizes can bake you feel ugly. Supposedly, it is good to be in smaller sizes because that means that you’re fit. Apparently there was only so much change that could be applied to my body leaving me large, but not fat.
I have a 43” bust. My chest is 38” just under my breasts. My waist is an unhealthy 22”, or so I think myself. My hips are only 39” but my narrow waist makes them seem bigger than they are.
I’m going to be wearing a lot of belts, it seems, since my waist would put me into a size 0 and my hips put my into a size 20. My top is only a size 18, though, so I guess I’m not going to find anything off the rack that just...fits. Not a dress anyway. Separates, however, are going to work fine.
I’m of two minds on my waist, all things considered. My waist naturally has the cinched in look that you could only hope to get ‘normally’ though corsetting. I’m sure there must be a problem here, but I can live with it, or so I hope. I’ve always liked the look that a corset gives the female body, and now I would have that look, at least until I got pregnant.
Or until I begin gaining weight.
It was almost enough to give me an eating disorder, or should I say another one. I’d been an overeater for a very long time. I ate as a stress response. I had a number of truly stressful situations in my life. Divorce, job loss, miscarriage, and many of the other little troubles that life throws at you I have drowned in food.
It’s true that I haven’t had the same desire to eat that I did before all of this. My portion sizes were smaller than they had been and I filled up much faster than I had. There was no need for me to force the issue, so I didn’t.
When my mother was cried out and fixed what little makeup she wore I went downstairs to gather Sam and get to my doctor’s appointment. It wasn’t that I wanted to go anywhere, but I had responsibilities and figuring out what was going on with my health was one of them.
We arrived at the clinic without any further mishaps, by which I mean no further fights. We signed in at the desk and went to wait in the comfortable waiting room. One thing can be said about smaller clinics over hospitals or large corporate clinics: they leave the industrial chic behind and actually apply interior design to their waiting rooms.
The chairs were in a brown leatherette that you sank into when you sat down. There were couches on either end of the room and individual chairs along both of the longer walls. The magazines were still out of date, but at least they were only two months old.
I sat down and tried to read a Glamour, but quickly realized I wouldn’t ever be ‘that girl’ and settled for a People instead. I would never pick up one of the magazines on my own, but I have to admit that they were the best of the options available on the table. I wouldn’t have been caught dead reading a Sport’s Illustrated when I was a guy and had even less reason now and I’d never even thought about being interested in Fish & Stream.
It should be obvious that I am way too old for Highlights.
Sorry, when I am nervous I ramble, and I was nervous sitting there in that room. People came and were seated and others were called back. We waited while I idly flipped through the magazine, barely registering that it was in my hands.
“Bill Carson?”
I got up and walked over to where the nurse was standing.
“May I help you?”
“I’m Bill Carson,” I said with distaste. I tried to keep it out of my voice, but it was there. Already I was thinking of myself as Cosette Carson, and telling people that I was bill was a bit galling.
“You’re Bill Carson?”
I fished my ID out of the old purse I was borrowing from Sam and showed it to her. She examined it, once again, and then handed it back to me and blushed a deep red color. I felt a flush beginning to rise in my own cheeks as I’m sure other people in the room were staring at me, making their own assumptions about who or what I was.
Unfortunately they were at least half right so I had no grounds to fuss them out. I was measured and weighed again and then lead to an exam room to wait again. You’d think that they’d only call you back to a room when a doctor was actually ready for you, but it seems they get you in there as soon as a room is open.
It was only about a minute and a half before the nurse returned and took my vitals. She then proceeded to take a couple of vials of blood.
“What is this for?”
“There are some anomalies in your blood work and we wanted to get enough of a sample to make sure that we aren’t making mistakes.”
“What sort of anomalies?”
“It’s really not my place to say, Mr. Carson.”
I looked at her name plate before I replied and then pulled out my carry letter, “I am a woman, Jennifer. I would appreciate you treating me as such.”
“Oh, you’re one of those,” she said with a sneer.
“I’d prefer a different nurse, please. You’re done.”
“I’ll tell you…”
I just stood up and stared at her. I still had a height advantage, even if I’d lost about five inches of my previous height, and I just looked at her.
There is more to being menacing than having bulky arms or a toned physique. It is how you look at people. It is the look of someone who has seen and inflicted violence and is not afraid to inflict more of it.
I used to get in fights during Middle School. When you have a student population of pre-teens and newly minted teens, they push boundaries. The bullies see who has a weakness and they exploit it. I was a quiet student who kept to himself...usually.
People would push me and slap me around. I didn’t accept that sort of behaviour and I struck back. I never screamed or flailed around. I just economically and quietly began punching people. None of my punches really packed any sort of force, but there were a lot of them and I never stopped until someone pulled me off.
Eventually people realized that I wasn’t someone to pick on.
Nurse Jennifer didn’t need an object lesson. She swallowed and walked out of the room. It was quite a bit longer before someone else entered the room.
“You really shouldn’t be threatening my staff,” the doctor said as he entered with another couple of guys.
“Then they shouldn’t be bigoted,” I said calmly.
“Miss, it doesn’t matter what she said…”
“She called me a man,” I said beginning to get angry.
His mouth opened and closed a couple of times. He grabbed the file from the door and looked at it. I handed him my license and carry letter. His eyes grew wide and then he handed my documentation back to me.
“I’m so sorry Ms. Carson. That never should have happened. In the future simply leave the room and talk to one of the other staff.”
“It’s been a stressful couple of days. I shouldn’t have over reacted.”
“You just started your transition then?” he said looking me up and down.
“In a manner of speaking. I saw a doctor here a couple of days ago. Could I speak to him?”
“Let’s see. That was Dr. Lambert. Yes, I show he is scheduled to see you today. Again, I’m sorry for any hassle the nurse might have put you through.”
“Thank you doctor…”
“Home. I’m Dr. Home.”
I smiled at him and the three men retreated. Dr. Lambert arrived a bit out of breath a few minutes later. “So, Bill…” he began and then he got a good look at me. I have to admit that I never really looked at him before myself.
He was young compared to most of the doctors in the clinic. I quickly glanced at his left hand and didn’t see a ring and my heart did a little flip of joy. He was really good looking and was tall, hopefully taller than me. I caught the direction my thoughts were heading in and gave myself a little shake.
He was a doctor, which means he get’s to see people at their worst. He saw me at my worst.
“This isn’t possible,” he whispered after a moment or two.
“What to check me out and see how possible it is,” I asked and then blushed bright red when I realized what I said.
“I’ll likely need to, Bill.”
“Cosette, please.”
“Cosette?”
I handed him my carry letter and he read it.
“This is dated yesterday.”
“I know.”
“Anything you’ve been taking to achieve this would have to have started before yesterday.”
“Doctor, I need you to do a full examination. You saw me two days ago, you know what you saw. You’ll be able to confirm...things for me.”
“Cosette…”
“Please. I need to know if this is permanent.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ll tell you after your examination.”
He nodded and got me another of the ubiquitous robes. He left while I put it on. I took off all of my underwear, knowing he would need to examine those parts that were covered. I spent the time while waiting for him to return neatly folding my clothing.
He began to reach in to listen to my heart and brushed against my breast and I gasped at the feeling it sent through me. He immediately stopped, took a look at what he’d touched and walked out of the room. I was confused until he returned with a female nurse.
She seemed to be there as a chaperone as Dr. Lambert did the rest of the exam himself. I was completely embarrassed at all of my reactions afterward. I felt like crying.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It didn’t hurt. That was the problem,” I said miserably and the nurse snickered. “this isn’t funny,” I said through a couple of tears.
“Haven’t you ever had a female exam before,” the nurse asked with a grinning smile.
“She’s only been female for about two days,” Dr. Lambert said coming to my defense.
The nurses eyes got huge and she looked at me again. “He...she had surgery two days ago? Where? How?”
“This was without surgery. That’s why she’s here, correct?” he said turning to me for confirmation. I nodded and he continued, “Get dressed and I’ll be back in here to discuss the results.”
He ushered the nurse out and I quickly got dressed. I was sitting on the chair at the side of the room when he returned.
“That was...remarkable. I’ve never seen anything like that in my life. If I hadn’t examined you two days ago I’d never have believed it.”
I began to feel uncomfortable again as he talked about his examination. When I began to examine my feelings I realized that I wasn’t uncomfortable per se...I was becoming aroused. I kept having images of his hands touching and entering me flash through my head. My breath became a little short and he moved over next to me, “Are you ok?”
“I need you to back up a bit,” I said, staring up into his eyes. My breathing stopped completely and I just waited for him to do something, anything. Kiss me I thought, but my mouth wouldn’t form the words.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he replied and backed up a bit.
“It’s just that…”
“You find doctors and exams stimulating. You’re not the first person I’ve had in here with a medical fetish…”
“What…”
“I could tell you were aroused.”
I rolled my eyes as he smiled at me. I hopped up from the chair and walked over to him. He backed up until he reached the wall. I kept going until I was within inches of him. I could feel his heat radiating from his body and I could feel my arrousal growing again.
“It wasn’t the idea that you were a doctor that had me interested.” I said in a low husky voice.
“It wasn’t?” I could hear his breath catch in his throat.
“It was all you personally. The thought of you...touching me,” I could barely get the words out. I felt a sort of explosion in my stomach and I got really warm all over. I stared into his eyes for a moment or two longer and then went and sat down.
“That has got to be horrible for my health,” I said as I tried to calm my raging hormones. I felt like a teenager all over again, only with less self control.
“Excuse me?”
“To be blunt, I would love nothing more than for you to bend me over this table and...well you get the idea.”
His knees gave out a bit and he hurriedly sat down.
“Sorry, I’ve never had this strong a reaction to anyone I’ve ever met,” I say with a shy smile. I wonder how this guy is coping with all the mixed signals I am giving out. My old self would have been growling in frustration by this point.
“For the sanity of the male population of the planet I’m going to do something that I would never have thought possible. I’m going to prescribe…”
I caught on to what he was saying and stamped over to him and got in his face, “Dont you dare tell me you are going to prescribe toys for me.” I said while a little voice in my head was going ‘yay, he’s at least six inches taller than me. I can wear heels.’
I had to fight to keep the smile from my face because I was upset that he would think a bit of plastic or rubber could replace human contact.
“I thought I was helping…”
“What is your first name?”
“Huh?”
“Your first name,” I said impatiently, a small smile playing across my lips.
“Why do you need my first name?”
“Because, doctor, I’m not having this argument with you and using a title.”
“Oh...um...is this wise?”
“You’re the one who made it personal by thinking to prescribe...toys,” I said with a lopsided grin. This one was easier than the one that I gave my mom. Maybe practice makes perfect.
“Thomas.”
“Tom, I like you. You’re the first man who has ever made me feel this way. Sometimes, fantasising I was a woman, I would be attracted to...well images,” I said and blushed to the roots of my hair. “You’re the first guy who has...gotten my engine running from a standing start.”
“You’re not really good at this are you,” he said grinning at me.
I punched him on the arm lightly. “That’s not helping,” I said smiling at him. “It’s embarrassing having a conversation like this.”
He just smiled and nodded once at me.
I went and sat back down again because I realized how close we’d gotten again. It felt like he was putting out some sort of gravitational force and I was caught up in his orbit. It scared me to think that anyone could have this sort of effect on me, but it was strangely liberating at the same time. He’d never outright rejected me and he hadn’t run screaming from the room.
“Ms. Carson…”
“I’m calling you Tom right now, the lease you could do is call me Cosette...or Andrea...Andi if you like...I’m babbling,” I said and sat down tilting my head forward. A cascade of hair flowed over my shoulders and settled in front of my face. It was safe and comfortable in here.
He brushed the hair out of my face and lay and hand on my shoulder.
“Cosette, I shouldn’t be doing this. It is unprofessional.”
I just stared up into his eyes and leaned into his hand. “I don’t care,” I said softly. “As long as you aren’t married and don’t have a girlfriend what is the problem? Wait, you’re not gay are you.”
“Apparently not,” he said with a small smile. “Cosette, I’m your doctor…”
“You don’t have to be,” I said softly and kissed his palm.
He sat up and walked to the other side of the room. “Please, let me speak. You are the only person I have ever been attracted to.”
“Ever?” I said with a bit of wonder in my voice.
“Ever,” he said with a kind smile. “I don’t know what this means. I don’t...do this sort of thing. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
“Relationships are messy, Tom. It is the nature of the beast. I’m fine with that.”
“What if I’m not?”
“How can you say that if you’ve never…”
“Not that part. I couldn’t see myself hurting you.”
“I don’t understand…”
“I’ve never liked seeing people hurt. It’s why I became a doctor. I wanted to be able to fix the hurts that people feel. I became an ObGyn to help bring life into this world.”
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“I’m trying to say that I don’t want to be the cause of any sort of pain in your life. Maybe that’s why I’ve never been able to relax enough, let down my guard enough, to realize I could be attracted to someone.”
“You’ve never dated?”
“Not really. A couple of dates in high school, but you’re not hearing me.”
“Oh, I listened to you. You’re saying you don’t want to hurt me, so that’s fine by me. It just means that you have to learn the two most important words my grandfather told me before I got married.”
He laughed and said, “What were the two most important words your grandfather told you?”
“Yes, dear.”
“Now, do you think that we can at least give this a try?” I said.
He didn’t immediately answer. He stood silently on the other side of the room, staring at a point in space. It must have been a full minute that he stared at the floor while I just watched him. I noticed a smile play across his lips for a moment and then he really looked at me for the first time. I was lost in the depths of his green eyes as he walked over to me. He took my hand, never once breaking my gaze, and brought it up to his lips.
“Yes, dear,” he said just before he kissed it.
My knees buckled and I quickly sat down. A wave passed through me at the barest touch of his lips and took my breath away.
“Are you alright?”
“Yes...but we need to wait a while before we try something like that again.”
“I just kissed your hand,” he said a little concerned.
“Exactly,” I said a little breathlessly and he chuckled.
He turned to leave. “Where are you going?”
“To get you a doctor who isn’t going to want to...do things.” He chuckled and I giggled along with him.
He left and I took that opportunity to get my breathing under control. It took him almost ten minutes to return. I was beginning to worry about Sam and what she would be thinking in the waiting room.
A female doctor entered the room and began to speak, but I lost everything she said as soon as I caught sight of Tom again. I began to blush when I realized what I was doing and looked at the female doctor.
“I can see why you decided to pass this one off to me,” the woman said with a smirk.
“Actually, this time it’s mutual. You know me, I can handle the unrequited lust of any woman under my care.”
“Don’t you think she’s a little young for you?” she said with a sneer.
“She is thirty-eight years old and can talk for herself,” I said a little coldly.
The woman turned and looked at me examining my face, for what I had no idea and began to get a little uncomfortable and squirmed a bit.
“No...there’s no way...she has to be eighteen, nineteen at the oldest.”
“Didn’t you explain what was going on T...Dr. Lambert?”
“Dear, go ahead and call him Tom. If you’ve finally been able to pierce that stone heart of his more power to you, but if you call me anything other than Dr. Wallace I’ll be truly upset.”
My head spun a bit at the speed of her turn around and Tom laughed. “Dr. Wallace has been pursuing me for years. She figured if she was patient I’d eventually notice.”
Dr. Wallace rolled her eyes and then turned to Tom. “So, Tom, what is this she’s talking about that would explain why she looks so young.”
He proceeded to provide a technical explanation of what he’d observed and measured. He even used my file and showed her the information from my visit two days ago, including the prescription that he gave to me.
“Did you take any of this,” Dr. Waters asked.
“Just the one pill before I went to bed. I woke up looking like this the next day.”
“You poor dear.”
“Why would you say that? This is likely the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“But you’re a woman.”
“Exactly,” I said with an incandescent smile.
She blinked a couple of times and I hand her my carry letter and she laughed. “I see. Only someone who had thought about this beforehand would ever have thought to use a transgender excuse if they spontaneously changed gender.”
“Pretty much. It helped that my appearance didn’t change too much.”
“How will you explain losing five inches?”
“Most people never notice, and it gives me an excuse to wear heels.”
“Now that the preliminaries are done, would you mind stepping outside, Tom?”
“I’ll catch you after you’re done,” he said and left me.
“Well, first of all, this explains some of the strangeness with your blood work. We thought there might have been a mistake, well more than one. The lab mistakenly used your blood when they did a karyotype test. Your blood said it was XX. We wanted to test your blood again as you appeared to be a male and we wanted to make sure.”
“Apparently this change is more than skin deep?”
“So it would seem. Your loss of stature supports that, as well as the other changes in bone structure that you seem to have.”
“Is this permanent?”
“We don’t even know what caused it yet, so we can’t really tell you if it’s permanent. The best I can suggest to you is treat it like it’s permanent but make plans for just in case it’s not.”
I nodded and listened to her suggestions and guidelines. Some of them were obvious, but many were not. She ended up providing a lifetime of female medical advice in a little over thirty minutes.
“And finally, no matter how much he begs, don’t let Tom have sex with you on the first date,” she said at the end.
I blushed and asked, “Why? Is there something I should know?”
“Only that good girls keep their knees together at least until they get a ring.” She said it in such a haughty tone that I couldn’t help but laugh.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that it was me and not you.”
“Why would you say that?” she said in confusion.
“Because I couldn’t stand him on Tuesday. I thought he was haughty and self involved and I would have preferred almost any other doctor today.”
She just blinked at me, “But, now…”
“Oh, you mean the whole sexuality thing? I’m presentationally heterosexual.”
She looked at me as if I’d just spoken another language.
“The people I am attracted to are the opposite gender. If I am presenting myself as a male, I can recognize other men that are good looking, but the idea of the two of us ‘hooking up’ isn’t interesting to me.”
She looked at me confused for a moment or two and then asked, “How did you know you weren’t a lesbian?”
“Voyeuristically it was sexy as hell to see two women together, but the thought of me being one of those women turned me off.”
“But you could see yourself as a woman with a man and vis versa?”
“I have two daughters, what do you think,” I said with a little smile.
She looked at me and then blinked a couple of times, “I thought you might have been pulling my leg about this, but every once in a while, you make a masculine comment. I’d never think anything of it, most of the time, since people are people, but I can see the person you are through your words.”
“Thank you, I think.”
“Be nice to him, ok?”
She made a last couple of notes in the file and then told me to set up an appointment for Friday of next week. They’d likely have enough time to get some lab results back by then and they might have more news.
I walked out to the waiting room to let Sam know what was up and noticed her sitting with a man. I’d never seen him before. Whether Sam had met him before or not, I noticed that she was interested now. He lay his hand on the armrest between their two chairs and she looked shocked. She hesitantly put her hand into his and slowly relaxed back into her chair.
One thing you can say about we Carson women, we certainly move fast. I turned around and ran into Tom who had apparently been standing right behind me.
“Someone you know?”
“My wife...well soon to be ex...well actually she is currently my ex since we’re both women, you know what I mean.”
“Not really, but I’ll take your word for it that it means you’re unattached.”
I just nodded at him.
“Well, let’s go meet your wife then.”
We walked over and Sam pulled her hand away as if it were burned. The man looked a little hurt.
“You didn’t need to do that you know. He’s really cute,” I said with a kind smile.
“I know, but…”
“There are no buts. Sam, this is Tom.”
“Tom, huh,” she said with a knowing smile.
I turned and walked over to the guy who was just looking on wondering what was going on. “Hi, I’m Cosette. I’m Sam’s ex,” I said as I offered my hand.
“Sam’s a l…” he began but I cut him off.
“No, I used to be a man.”
“Um...really. You don’t look it,” he stammered.
“Isn’t he just so sweet,” I said to Sam and she giggled.
“His name’s Brandon,” she said when she stopped giggling.
“Nice to meet you Brandon.”
Brandon looked like he wanted to say something so Sam and I just stared at him for a moment with that patented girl ‘go ahead and ask,’ look. He didn’t take the hint.
“So, how do you do it, Tom, knowing that she was...well a he.”
“Tom, do I look like a guy?”
He turned and looked at me a little sheepish, “Well, no.”
“If I’d never told you, would you be able to guess,”
“No. But you told me...”
“I told you because for some reason some guys feel betrayed when they find out later that you used to be a guy.”
“It’s not like you’re going to have sex with him,” Tom said.
“No, but he will be helping to raise my daughter.”
He nodded to me in concession and I smiled at him.
“I haven’t even asked Sam out yet?”
“The ‘yet’ says it all,” I said and he laughed.
“You’re pretty confident, aren’t you?”
“You should have seen her when we were dating. You remember how you asked me to marry you?”
I got an innocent expression on my face and shook my head.
“Well, this bozo one day says, ‘when we get married, what time of year are you thinking?’”
Tom and Brandon just look at me in shock for a moment or two before before breaking out in laughter.
“What did you answer?” Tom said when he had recovered.
“I’ll have to think about it,” she said with a smile.
“Yeah, she just accepted the premise that we would be getting married,” I said with a little smile.
“We lasted ten years, though, so that’s not nothing,” she responded with a smile. She tossed me the keys to the car.
“I’ll pick up our daughter Rose on the way home.”
“Where are you off to?”
“Well, I thought that Brandon could drive me,” she said as she sat down on the couch. Brandon quickly went and sat next to her. I gave her a thumbs up before turning to Tom.
“Walk me to my car?”
“Of course.”
We left the building and were halfway down the walk before he put his arm around me. I leaned into his embrace. He opened the door to my car and took my hand to help me into my seat.
“Go out with me tonight.”
“That doesn’t sound like a question.”
“It wasn’t.”
“I have nothing to wear.”
“We’ll go somewhere you can wear what you are right now.”
“But, Tom, girls like to wear nice clothing, different clothing, on a date.”
“Fine...would you please go on a date with me tonight? I need to see you again.”
I looked up into his eyes and my breathing stopped again. He leaned into the car and kissed me full on the lips.
“Ok,” I said in a dazed voice.
“You’ll got out with me tonight?”
“No! I have nothing to we…” he kissed me again. I smiled and touched my lips as he pulled back. “Yes…”
“So, seven o’clock?”
I looked up at him, wanting to say no again...but looking into his eyes I couldn’t say no. “Fine. Seven o’clock,” I said in a martyred tone.
He punched the air and I smiled up at him, “you have to make me a promise, though.”
“What’s that,” he said growing serious.
“Kiss me?”
“Always,” he said and he did.
Comments
Oh Wow!
Is it getting HOT in here or what? (Giggles profusely!). Faeriemage sweetie, I'm so lovin' this one hon! Big Hugs, Taarpa
Things Are Getting Hot
Well, they are certainly adapting quickly. I have a feeling things will work out. Obviously, there are complications; however, these are intelligent people. There is that question, though. What caused all this to happen?
Portia
Oh that was so nice
both women finding dates. I have a feeling both beds will have partners in them tonight. Oh that's probably just me pasteing my nymphness on them
Goddess Bless you
Love Desiree
Unusual side-effects?
So both Cosette and Sam have found new loves within a couple of minutes of each other at the doctor's office - in the case of Cosette, with the doctor she'd met only a few days beforehand and disliked so much. Not only that, but the people they've fallen in love with have also fallen head-over-heels in love with them.
Mere coincidence, or an unusual side-effect of whatever caused the gender flip in the first place?
No doubt the answer will be something along the lines of "All will be revealed in time..." :D
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
I am pretty sure that has got
I am pretty sure that has got to be a record for the greatest nunber of people meeting each other cold and agreeing to date.... outside of a nightclub or bar.
Something in the water (cooler)?
Xx
Amy