In the past two days I have had two quite different TG-related experiences.
The first one was on Sunday. I was confronted by a co-worker of mine who informed me as politely as she could that she had heard from another co-worker of ours that I wanted to be a woman (that's how she put it.) This was out of the blue, and when I asked who had told her that the co-worker mentioned was one I could not recall sharing this information with (there are about 3 I have.) She then proceeded to quiz me on the ins and outs about why I felt that way, before telling me, "I wouldn't have guessed. I mean, you don't act gay or anything."
I didn't bother to try to explain the difference.
Then there was the experience I had today. Well, Monday, technically.
A customer -- one I have never helped before -- called on me for information, only to stumble across pronouns several times before outright asking me, "I'm sorry, are you a man or a woman?" She was somewhat thrown off guard when I asked her -- somewhat thrown myself -- if it mattered. When she recovered, she simply smiled and referred to me as "ma'am" for the rest of our interaction. While a customer being confused by me is nothing new, one asking outright what to call me isn't nearly as common, at least not with anyone over the age of 8, with most people settling on a gender on their own, while I simply run with whatever happens, sometimes to humorously hear others in their group correct them -- both directions.
My question is, is this an even remotely common situation for anyone else? I mean, I haven't so much as taken a birth control pill in my entire life, and I'm embarrassingly overweight at the moment (weighing myself Monday morning I tipped the scales at a terrifying 275 lbs,)but I've gotten responses like this since I was a kid.
Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be androgynous to the point of confusing than hyper-masculine, but on the other hand, when I look in the mirror I don't see that myself, at least not at my current weight. Is this a good thing? A bad thing? Not a thing at all?
When I was rooming with Edeyn she would often be amused by my attempts to dress as a guy, since according to her I wasn't very good at it, and more than once she complained that I was embarrassing her by using the men's facilities at theaters or restaurants. But... about the only feminine thing I wear most days is my undies, so you'd think that passing as a guy shouldn't be an issue, right?
Right?
This confused Arkansan would like to know.
Melanie E.
Comments
275lbs is awesome
You can still compete in Wrestling at 275 so don't knock it. I'm about 550 and waiting for death or my knee to blow, perhaps both in a comical accident that will make me a question on Jeopardy.
Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)
Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life
You should have told her
That it wasn't a question of what you wanted to be, but rather what you truly are. I don't think that any of us would choose to be transgendered if given the opportunity to decide our fates, but we simply are what we are. I know that I would not wish the pain that I suffer because of it on anyone, and often pray that God would simply fix me one way or the other. I question every day why I had to be born the way I am - neither fish nor fowl, but stuck in between and left to find my own way in this world.
Like we discussed Melanie, you are you - it's that simple. Be true to yourself is the best advice I can offer you little sister, and if anyone has trouble dealing with that then just do your best to make them understand who that wonderful person inside you really is.
Always remember that I will be there if you need me - and anyone who hurts you will have to go through me to get there.
Love you sis!
Dallas
D. Eden
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus
You arent alone. Jaci also cant pass as a guy
no matter how hard she tries, she just cant make people see her as anything but a girl ...
(giggles and runs away before Jaci reads this ...)
Before I transitioned - I
Before I transitioned - I didn't fit either as well. I have to say though it depended mostly on where I pitched my voice and the way I spoke, which way that I was read. I am generally consistently read now that I have transitioned and started taking hormones, etc.
I really relate to the comment about the children and that often a lot of youn children ask - it was not uncommon, whether I was at the airport or the gym or taking my son somewhere.... I would always get small children coming up and asking it I were a boy or girl? Not so much anymore. Anyway, I looked at it as part blessing, part curse.
A.