It seems from my perspective that the battle for rights is joined in a way I have not seen before, at least in the West. I know that in Washington DC there are those who are pressing for a Rights Bill, that this time includes Transgender folk. If you remember the old bill was called ENDA and it threw us under the bus.
To be clear, I think it is mostly the FtM folk who are driving this as they do not seem as easily cowed as most MtF folk, or perhaps I am the only one who is cowed.
It is not clear to me if I am correctly interpreting what is going on both out here in the West and in Washington DC.
There are a good half dozen Mormon transfolk here in Portland involved in the fray, and I do not know how many others involved. I have been asked to participate, but I am a flat out coward, having been severely vanquished in 2005-6, so I just do not have the stomach for it now.
Amazingly, many rank and file Mormons and many others are quite supportive. Very few actually know about me, and stealth is my choice for now at least. I hope that you all do not see me as the coward I feel that I am.
The simple passage of a law will not end the battle, but perhaps in time it will greatly ease our way.
My approach to it all has been through faith; an tactic that seems weak to many. My hope is that eventually, a 4 year old who says they are the opposite of their apparent gender will be listened to, loved and treated with compassion in the future. Apparently there are known to be around 35 youth in our area that are under 12 in that category, and are being treated.
Many of us survived horrendously, unspeakable abuse on that revelation. I'm feeling really weak right now, but promise to behave and not do anything antisocial.
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Group Therapy
We had a group therapy of MtF folk a few months ago when the neighboring councilor (who knew we were in session) asked if she could bring in the parents of a 7 year old who was pretty clearly TG (MtF) and ask some questions. It made our day and I think her parents (the kid was not there) felt a lot better about supporting their daughter to be. She understands that she is different, but not a freak, and chooses to present as male at school, changing when she gets home to be herself. Someday she can be herself all the way, but mean while she has the support of loving parents, who are admittedly confused about their offspring but are willing to support and love them.
Times are changing slow, but they do seem to be changing. How many parents would take the time to understand their kids when we were young. More likely it was something they could break us from (emphasis on break).
Kudos to this kids parents. She is well loved.
Rank and File
Speaking as an excommunicated mormon. I was kicked out because I didn't respond to the love and corrective measures.
My mother outted me to the church leadership searching her soul for what she should do. She turned to others to advice who dragged her into the church office and they called me in. I was told that god loves me as a man and they would help me however they could to see my 'sin' and mental illness and that with love and dedication on my part I could return to good standing in the church.
This was 30 years ago mind you. I have no faith in the 'rank and file' members. They are sheep and when barked at they all run together and are easily herded. Not one will stand alone for fear of being painted as an outsider.
As someone who joined the church because of my mother and her desire to join something where people stood up for each other I learned that as long as you followed the lead sheep people picked you up and encouraged you to keep up and even run faster to abuse my metaphor. However turn tail and nobody stands with you.
I wish you luck and I fear this will poison your heart towards those rank and file members who stand up with you. When you ask them to stand up to others specially the local/ward leadership you will find yourself alone. They will all be on the side of the leadership and they will be calling you male and encouraging them to 'come unto god' by giving up this disallusion that you are female. I'm soo sad and fear for you. Not your physical safety as they will defend you against others... but your mental well being and your spiritual delivery in the 'after life' will always be in doubt.
Dayna.
I came as close to suicide as I ever did after the church practiced tough love and kicked me out.
Gwen,
You have your own row to hoe and your own crops to harvest.
Fear not girl, you are as strong as all the others but truly you will find greater strength by uniting with your sisters. However, as we have discussed many times, do not let them exploit you or your story, contribute that which is helpful to your sisters but do not let them take or exploit that which might be hurtful or destructive to you.
This invariably means you will have to be strong and at times quite forceful in stating what you want and what you feel is best for you. That will be the true measure of your own inner strength. Despite this necessary self protection you will still have a lot to contribute to the cause. Remember Gwen, you have travelled further and longer than many of your American sisters. Yours is a story well worth telling even if it is told anonymously for your own protection.
Sadly, I must concede that in the salacious, puerile arena of the gutter press, that anonymity might be hard to maintain.
Be brave.
Bevs.
Gwen,
You have your own row to hoe and your own crops to harvest.
Fear not girl, you are as strong as all the others but truly you will find greater strength by uniting with your sisters. However, as we have discussed many times, do not let them exploit you or your story, contribute that which is helpful to your sisters but do not let them take or exploit that which might be hurtful or destructive to you.
This invariably means you will have to be strong and at times quite forceful in stating what you want and what you feel is best for you. That will be the true measure of your own inner strength. Despite this necessary self protection you will still have a lot to contribute to the cause. Remember Gwen, you have travelled further and longer than many of your American sisters. Yours is a story well worth telling even if it is told anonymously for your own protection.
Sadly, I must concede that in the salacious, puerile arena of the gutter press, that anonymity might be hard to maintain.
Be brave.
Bevs.
It's still ENDA. This time
It's still ENDA. This time the Senate version (which passed) includes protection based on "gender identity". Alas, the religious exemptions are broader this time and many say they are too broad.
I *think* (don't recall for certain) that the language includes *perceived* sexual orientation and gender identity. Which will help the unfortunates who *aren't* GLBT but who people *think* are.
Alas, the Republicans in the House are (for the most part) bound and determined *not* to pass it. And in any case, the speaker has said he's not going to bring it up for a vote (which will require a lot of manuevering to get around, if it can be gotten around at all).
So I don't really expect to see it pass this session. But getting it passed by *one* chamber of Congress is farther than it's ever gotten before. So that's something.
Alas, in California a bunch of the same folks that got Prop 8 passed are working on getting the new California law protecting TG kids in grade school repealed. They are claiming it's to protect the "privacy" of the non-TG kids. :-(
Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
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