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The curse of the McCrae’s
Sydney Moya
All rights reserved
© 2013
Synopsis
Matt Berkeley is a successful young man with a life many can only dream of, unfortunately his family was put under a terrible curse he knows nothing about. His mother will do anything to save her son even if it means him not being her son any more. But will it be enough to keep him safe?
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This story is 89 words long.
Comments
Yeikes Scoob ol' buddy ol' pal ...
Thats not good, a roar that makes the whole earth quake!!!
However the Mel's Berkley do have an advantage to pervious generations, Thet know that there is an enemy to fight.
Great start Sydney, can't wait for more!!
An interesting opening
It'll be interesting to see how well Matt/Melissa adapts. He seems to strongly desire to hold on to his past at the moment, but you have set up the magic spell to seem to counter that. Of course, that is complicated even further by the fact that Matt will have magic, and potentially as strong of stronger than his mother's.
You've also got the currently hidden conflict with whoever cast or maintains the curse. Plenty of conflict to make a good story,and I look forward to seeing where it goes.
Titania
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Great start
Love the concept. Hopefully this will bring child and parent much closer together.
I have one issue that is a thorn in my side. The flippant use of "half the world does it", or "half the world has lived this way" minimizes the impact on the transformee. If I am experiencing something that is disconcerting to my perception of myself or the world around me, the thought that other people have naturally been living this way doesn't necessarily relieve my fears, anxieties and questions of being the same. The half of the world that has lived that way their whole life have had the benefit of experiencing this life in measured doses spread over time. Adapting one's life and sense of being spontaneously is surely very disconcerting.
glad
I'm glad y'all liked it and saw the potential, its another spur of the moment story which I intend to complete in 1 or 2 more parts. Sorry if it came across like Matts mother treated his situation like it was trite that is not her intention, I guess she was trying to reassure him he could learn to cope, and yes that entity isn't nice at all. Hope I can keep u interested!
Thanks
Sydney Moya
Oh wow..
Looks like mommy was wrong. It's not going to be that easy, I'm guessing she has no idea what she is dealing with. I cant wait to see how they deal with the horror that is about to befall them mew. I wonder if they will succeed or fail, either way it sounds like a lot of fun :D Will this be the happy ending or the blood bath? :D
Also I'd love if she was proven wrong and they meet a guy who has crazy powerful magick because honestly that trope really gets annoying. Men and women both have the potential for magick, gender does not increase ones ability at all.
But it's your universe, just I'm a little tired of that same old thing. Sorry if this offends, I did like your story, I'm not trying to be rude I'm just trying to express my feelings on it. I still like your writing style, and may pick up a few of your other stories but I'm just giving some silent hopes. After all I don't know what way you plan the story to go. I just give my hopes like every other reader HOWEVER do not give into reader demands, it cheapens the story and it's best if you tell this world the way it comes to you. No matter how I or others feel.
So I'm not telling you to change it okay? I'm just trying to predict what will happen, I hope I made that clear, anyway thank you again mew for this nice start to this tale :D
I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D
Great start.
Something is NOT happy about things, and I don't mean Matt/Melissa though she isn't pleased all that much either. So, did this change save Matt's life even if he has to live as Melissa? Or has it simply delayed things? I think Melissa better learn how to use the magic fast if she wants to survive.
This first chapter is obviously setting up something that could be epic and I'm looking forward to how you continue it.
Maggie
Very nice
start! This almost borders on that question, how far should you go to save someone's life. Mom obviously has issues since she's wiped her son's memory more than once according to her, not only to keep her magic secret, but to indulge in her fantasy of having a daughter.
However, that does set her up as being headstrong about what she wants. It is understandable that she wants to save her child's life. That is also a nasty spell if it deliberately cuts them off from contact with their loved ones so they die alone.
I did notice his dream predicted the girl thing as well as the curse still chasing her after the change.
Hugs
Grover
I'm happy you all got in
I'm happy you all got in touch,I like to know what everybody who reads my stuff has to say. I hope i can maintain that interest in the next part of the story where will see if our protagonist makes it. Please read my other tales too if you have the time and tell me what you make of them!
Thanks again
Sydney Moya
Very nice First Chapter!!!
I am looking forward to seeing how you develop your story.
Oh, okay, leave us hanging in the balance. Sorry, play on words.
You ended this just at the right time, making it so suspenseful that we would return for Chapter 2. I know I will. It was an interesting first chapter, having Matt's mom kidnap him, only to turn him into Melissa. I am looking forward to chapter 2.
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move ahead."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."
"With confidence and forbearance, we will have the strength to move forward."
Love & hugs,
Barbara
"If I have to be this girl in me, Then I have the right to be."