This is ... interesting for me to post, and a bit difficult. I don't share a lot of my personal life except with those close to me. However, this is a forum that would probably have more information, so I've reluctantly decided to post and ask for answers.

Situation: 53-year old male. Endocrine system is out of whack. Way out of whack. I've been testing low in T for years (low end of normal scale, or below). Lately, it's gone lower than low - and the E has gone up. Periodically, progesterone level has spiked as well. Let's just say that one lab thought they had a female sample, that's how far out of whack my hormones are. So I've noticed some odd things - both physically and mentally. First, the obvious physical - gynecomastia. Not pseudo, but true. Not giant hooters, but small, mostly innocuous breasts. If I have a loose shirt, one can't tell - unless it leaks. Enough of a concern that the doctor had me do a mammogram - which if you're a man doing is probably about the second most humiliating thing you can do. In the top 5, that's for sure. So, as one would expect with high E, real breast growth. Occasionally fluid production that has become nearly constant at low levels - a few cc at a time. Ignoring it doesn't stop; doc thinks there's possibly a prolactinoma or something similar.

Now for the weird ones. People at work say I'm far less assertive and / or aggressive. I'm far more diplomatic, and listen more. One co-worker told me that she'd noticed that I was a lot more emotional. Okay, I have to admit - I've read stories before that were touching; now, when I re-read them, I cry. Even stories I've written and read dozens of times during editing still make me cry.

What I'm dreading to know is what other changes might I incur from the low T and high E. I would suspect that someone who's done hormone therapy for transgender might have a point of comparison for me. I've been trying to read up on the endocrine system and hormone effects to see if I can learn anything. Some references are good, some suck.

Help! What other surprises might my body be developing? What other things - mentally, emotionally, physically - might change?

And yes, my endocrinologist is stumped. He's tried T replacement, but that stuff makes me want to rip someone's head off if they look at me wrong. It made me feel like a box-load of nitro - waiting for the first shock to explode. Couldn't do that. Tried phyto-estrogens to lock up the receptors and keep the body fooled into thinking that it didn't need any more true E. Didn't work. Got a growth spurt, though.

Advice, thoughts, strategies to deal with it, similar experiences I might learn from? Any or all of that. I need to find some sort of direction.