As right as it felt, Christina knew she’d eventually have to leave this life behind.
There would be no storybook ending for Christina Chase; there was no way she could conceive of it.
Even if she could figure out a way to remain Christina forever, she could never believe that anyone
would ever want to marry her. Since coming to Oak Grove, Christina had experienced being popular
and the intoxication of feeling desired, but the essential truth remained the same; in the end,

everyone would always leave her.

by Admiral Krunch

---

 
Chapter 45
 

        After a day of standing in lines, Christina once again found herself stuck in a queue. She, along with the rest of the bridal party, was waiting at the side entrance to the meeting hall. The guests had long since settled in their seats, and she could hear them talking on the other side of the doors. As she waited impatiently, she wondered what long-forgotten rationale was the impetus for all of the elaborate entrances associated with weddings.

        "Here we are again," Adam joked.

        "Yeah," Christina agreed as she looked at her shoes.

        "Look," Adam started, "I know I kinda wedged in with the whole swapping partners thing, but I really wanted to spend some time with you, and this seemed like a good way to break the ice."

        Christina shrugged, which prompted Adam to add, "Besides, I heard that you and Richard Masters broke up ... for good this time."

        "We didn't break up," Christina insisted meekly as she met Adam's eyes.

        "No?"

        "No ... not exactly."

        "What does 'not exactly' mean?" Adam asked, as the two of them stepped forward, following couples who were now entering the hall as they were announced.

        "Well, we're not broken up really, we're more just not talking to each other."

        "So," Adam started, trying to follow Christina's logic, "You're together in the sense that you don't speak to or see each other."

        "Technically."

        As they stepped forward again, Adam asked, "How's that different than broken up?"

        "It's different," Christina struggled, "in the sense that we're not together due to current 'circumstances'."

        "That sounds like strange circumstances. Whatever they are, he's stupid for not being here with you tonight."

        Christina's jaw tightened a bit as she reflected on the "circumstances" that had led to her state of non-brokenupedness. She particularly did not care for the vainly expensive shoes that "circumstances" always wore or the way "circumstances" treated other people. She was also growing somewhat alarmed that she disliked Diana so much that she'd started referring to her as "circumstances" in her thoughts.

        Her mind lingered on what Richard was doing at that moment. She pictured her not quite ex-boyfriend working yet another long night with Diana. Perhaps they'd already retired to his house, she imagined.

        "You know what?" Christina said as she returned from her thoughts. "He IS stupid." She wrapped her arm around Adam's and gave the man an encouraging grin.

         "Yeah, he is," Adam agreed as he and his partner reached the open doors.

        "... And," echoed the sound of the lead singer of the small band Lisa's parents had hired for the wedding, "Christina Chase, escorted by Adam Williams."

        Christina gave Adam's arm a squeeze as they made what she hoped, was their final entrance of the day. They smiled as they entered the hall, though neither one could quite see where they were going due to the cascading explosions of camera flashes that filled their vision.

        As the white flashes faded into thick blue dots in her eyes, Christina saw Andrei and Nina standing on the edge of the crowd. She and Adam walked the wide path between large round tables to the rectangular one on the far side of the dance floor where the rest of the bridal party was waiting.

        After they had taken their places, the bandleader announced Steph and the best man, followed finally by Lisa and Oliver. Rather than take their place at the center of the bridal party's table, the newlyweds continued to the center of the dance floor.

        The singer announced that Oliver and Lisa were embarking on their first official dance as husband and wife, and the crowd again erupted in applause.

        Burying a yawn in the back of her throat, Christina clapped along with the crowd. As the dance progressed, she shuffled off the lethargy induced by the needlessly long ceremony and felt genuinely happy for her friend.

        Christina applauded again as the dance finished. Though she and the crowd had finally taken their seats, the formalities of the reception had only begun. Another announcement was made, followed by yet more applause, and a lump formed in Christina's throat as Lisa's father took Oliver's place on the dance floor.

        For a moment, Christina imagined that it was she who was on the dance floor wearing the white gown. In her mind, she stared into her Uncle's glowing expression; she'd never seen him look so proud. As she lived in that moment, a contented smile covered her face. She and her Uncle glided through her daydream, and she felt light, as though she were a bubble floating over the room.

        Then, as if that fantasy was as fragile as the bubble, it collapsed and disappeared. Though it was a lovely dream, that's all it would ever be. As right as it felt, Christina knew she'd eventually have to leave this life behind. There would be no storybook ending for Christina Chase; there was no way she could conceive of it. Even if she could figure out a way to remain Christina forever, she could never believe that anyone would ever want to marry her. Since coming to Oak Grove, Christina had experienced being popular and the intoxication of feeling desired, but the essential truth remained the same; in the end, everyone would always leave her. For all the changes being Christina Chase had brought, nothing would ever change that.

        "Hey," Steph said as she elbowed her friend. "You can tell it's not a funeral 'cause we're not wearing black."

        "What?" Christina asked in an obviously sad voice as her awareness returned to the happy proceedings.

        "The face," Steph quipped. "Keep it up and the emcee is gonna ask the crowd who ran over your cat in the parking lot."

        Forcing a smile, Christina said, "Sorry."

        "It's okay." Steph widened the conversation to include the rest of the bridesmaids. "We all feel the same way at weddings. On one hand, you're happy for the bride, and on the other hand, you're wondering when it's finally gonna be your turn."

        This sentiment evoked several nods of agreement from the other bridesmaids. One girl objected, "What about those of us who are already married?"

        "You sorry souls," Steph continued with no break in her cadence, "have nothing left to do but wait for the sweet embrace of death."

        "So that's all there is?" asked another girl as the father-daughter dance ended.

        "Yes! That's it," Steph concluded triumphantly. "Tonight is special. Tomorrow you could be the one getting married, and the day after that, you could be dead. So tonight, ladies ..." she said as though she were Patton addressing the troops, "Tonight we dance!"

        Even Christina felt swept away as she and the rest of the bridesmaids assaulted the dance floor. It was a complete usurpation of the established plan. The bandleader gave up on the announcement he was halfway through making and instructed the band to play as the girls danced with each other in a circle.

        Rather than protest the first spontaneous event of the day, Lisa joined in.

        Christina, who had for the moment abandoned her self-pity, beckoned to Nina, and she and a few other younger girls joined the celebration. The circle became a whirl of smiles and dresses and laughter, and in that moment, the girls shared Lisa's wedding in a profound and spiritual way to which no ceremony could ever compare.

 

        After all the staged dances, and toasts from the best man and anyone else with the courage to stand in front of the microphone, which turned out to be more than a handful of people, thanks to the varying states of inebriation enjoyed by the guests, Christina and Steph joined Andrei and Nina at their table.

        In spite of her earlier bout of despair, Christina found that being with her cousins and Steph always kept a smile on her face. She was in such a good mood, that she did not mind in the slightest when Adam sat down beside her and handed her another drink from the bar.

        "Why is it," Adam started, "that at every wedding I've ever been to, eventually every girl in the room starts dancing. Not once have I ever seen a pile of guys shaking their asses at each other."

        "Well," Christina joked, "there are some clubs in the city I could show you ..."

        Adam nearly spit his drink out as he laughed. "You know what I mean. What's up with that?"

        This of course was Christina's first time engaging in spontaneous female dancing, and she wondered herself. "I guess it just kind of happens." Casting a sly look in Adam's direction, she added, "The band's still here, and so are the guys. Maybe you can start a new trend."

        "Don't think so," Adam shot back before finishing his wine. "I think it's more fun to watch, anyway."

        Christina finished her glass of wine. "I bet." She had long ago lost count of how many glasses she'd had and made a mental note to christen the last glass as the new "number one."

        Lisa, who now retained none of her bridezilla attitude, was making the rounds from table to table without Oliver. When she reached Christina's table, she put her hand on Steph's shoulder, and made a very important announcement. "I'm going to throw the bouquet," she said with what Christina thought was preternatural enthusiasm. "You and Christina should get lined up."

        "Can I go too?" Nina said from behind a single glass of wine that she had been nursing all night.

        "That's all I need," Steph quipped. "Between you and Stretch, short gals like me don't stand a chance."

        "Of course you can, Nina." With no time to linger, Lisa moved on to the next table to inform other single girls to get onto the dance floor.

        As Nina and Steph stood up, Steph asked a conspicuously seated tall blonde, "Ain't you commin', bachelorina?"

        "No ... I don't think so. This has been the first time in my entire life in Oak Grove that I have not been the absolute center of attention. Getting up on the dance floor seems like tempting fate needlessly."

        "Come on," Nina said.

        Walking over to Nina's side, Steph took the girl's hand, saying, "Maybe your cousin likes her company too much to play stupid wedding games."

        Raising her empty glass to her friend, Christina asked, "Steph, why is it you always know the wrong thing to say at precisely the right time?"

        "Natural rhythm," Steph called over her shoulder as she led Nina to the growing group of well dressed girls gathered in the middle of the hall.

        Adam turned his chair around to face the middle of the room, and motioned to Christina to join him.

        She also turned, still holding an empty wine glass in her hand.

        "Do you need a refill?" Adam asked.

        "No thanks, this is just my reminder that I'm at a party and I'm having a good time. And I don't need anyone in particular to have a good time with."

        "I may not be the sharpest pitchfork in town, but it sounds to me like you're over someone."

        After returning her empty glass to the table, Christina pointed at Adam, and with a slight lisp in her voice that reflected her currently buzzed state of mind, answered, "See, that implies I was under someone to begin with. And I wasn't. So I'm not over anyone. Especially not Richard Masters."

        "I admit, I'm a little drunk," Adam said with a laugh, "but it sounds like you just said you're NOT over your ex-boyfriend."

        "Ex-fake-boyfriend," Christina corrected.

        "Ex-fake-boyfriend?"

        "... real ex-boyfriend," Christina admitted. And continuing as though she expected Adam to have some understanding, she said, "But I should have kept him as a fake boyfriend, because he's a really lousy real boyfriend." Looking back at the empty glass on the table, Christina admitted, "Maybe I SHOULD get another drink ..."

        "I think you've already had one too many," Adam joked.

        That seemed unlikely to Christina, as she was sure she was in the middle of a do-over of sorts, and her last drink had been the first of the night.

        Their conversation was cut short as the lights dimmed and a spotlight shone on Lisa. She waved to the crowd, flowers in hand, as the bandleader announced that the time had come for the bride to toss the bridal bouquet.

        The crowd was quiet as Lisa dramatically turned around and waited. The drummer started a steady drum roll, a tactic Christina thought was slightly tacky. The drums continued as Lisa bowed all the way forward with the bouquet in both hands, then threw it into the air as she straightened up. It was as though everyone in the room held their breath as the flowers sailed towards the assembled girls.

        The drummer crashed a cymbal as a young woman in a bright orange gown reached up and plucked the bouquet out of the air. Over the roar of the crowd, Christina heard a chair scratch against the wooden floor. Craning around, she saw that Andrei had stood up and was desperately trying to see which girl in orange had claimed the prize. A relieved breath escaped his lips, and Christina looked back to see that the girl in question was not Steph.

        Turning again to see her cousin, this time with a sardonic grin, she observed, "Well look who the commitmentphobe is!"

        "Laugh now, Debbie!" Steph shouted as she returned to the table with Nina. "I'll be dead in the ground before you get hitched," she added playfully.

        Before Andrei could say a word, Steph put a hand on his shoulder and sat him back down. Joining him on his lap, she wrapped an arm around his broad shoulders and informed him, "You're buying me flowers tomorrow."

        Christina could hardly contain her laughter. It was interrupted as the spotlight returned to Lisa. Out of the corner of her eye, Christina noticed Adam was standing up. Seeing other men were making their way to the dance floor, where Oliver had now joined his bride, Christina asked, "Are you taking my advice about getting the guys to dance?"

        "Not exactly," Adam answered with what Christina thought was a very suspicious look of amusement.

        "So then what's this all about?"

        "This," Adam said as he took off his jacket and rolled back his cuffs, "is the best part of the night."

        The band started playing a bawdy tune that Christina could only describe to herself as burlesque. One of the groomsmen dragged a chair to the middle of the room, and Lisa sat down.

        Christina looked over at her table mates with a look of confusion.

        Nina asked, "What's going on?"

        Christina was glad that her younger cousin posed the question so that she would not have to.

        "The old garter game," Steph said as though that were enough explanation. "Ain't you gonna go up there?" she asked Andrei.

        "I don't see any reason, if you're already sitting in my lap."

        "Okay," Christina confessed, "I don't get it." Turning her attention back to the exhibition, she saw Adam whisper something into Oliver's ear. Whatever words were exchanged, they were met with approval as evidenced by the fist bump the men shared. The conspirators called the rest of the men over, and what followed was not unlike a huddle at a football game. The meeting ended in a few high-fives and a single "Hoo-rah" from the groom. The men then assembled in a crowd, not unlike the one the girls had formed earlier.

        The meaning of "garter game" became more clear as Oliver knelt in front of his bride and rolled the skirt of her wedding dress over her leg in time with the music. When he reached the thigh, he used both hands to slowly drag Lisa's garter down to her ankle.

        The crowd was hooting and hollering, and Christina yelled with them.

        Finally, Oliver pulled the garter clear of Lisa's chubby toes and held it up triumphantly.

        Christina, and everyone else in the hall cheered as Oliver displayed the prize. Unlike Lisa's dramatic toss, the groom walked the garter to the other side of the room and stood a few feet away from the bachelors.

        Oliver arranged the garter on his thumb and pulled it back with his other hand, making a sort of slingshot.

        Confused, the crowd fell silent. Just before releasing the garter, every man in the group, with the exception of Adam put their hands up as though they were about to be arrested, and took one step backwards.

        Oliver shot the garter directly into Adam's chest, and it tumbled into his waiting hands.

        The crowd laughed and clapped so loudly that it was as if all the applause heard earlier that night had been merely practice.

        Christina was sure that the loudest laughter in the room was coming from Steph. Turning around, Christina saw that her friend was now standing and clapping.

        She went to Steph and shouted, "That's kind of a weird game."

        "It's not over yet, Blondie!"

        "What happens next?"

        Steph yelled into her ear, "The guy who wins puts the garter on his date!"

        "But Adam came alone ..." Christina shouted back.

        Ignoring her friend, Steph waved to the men with both hands and shouted, "She's over here, fellahs!"

        The band struck up the music, Lisa vacated the chair in the middle of the room, and all eyes turned to Christina.

        "Oh no ..." she bellowed. "There's no way in hell-"

        "Come on, folks," the bandleader interrupted from behind the microphone. "Give the young lady some encouragement!"

        Christina put up her hands up in a way that implied the crowd would have to look elsewhere for amusement, then sat back down in her own seat.

        Undeterred, Adam started walking in Christina's direction. The crowd found this even more entertaining.

        As Adam knelt before her, Christina accepted her fate, surrendered to the fact that she had become the spectacle at every public gathering in town. She slid her foot forward and grimaced as Adam removed her shoe.

        Seeing this, Adam tickled her foot.

        Though Christina laughed involuntarily, a smile remained as her partner worked her skirt up her thigh.

        "Sure!" she shouted to the crowd. "Enjoy the show! This is the last one ever! I'm staying home from now on."

        Adam worked the garter over Christina's long, stockinged leg and a few flashbulbs popped in the distance. With the bridal garter safely in its new home, Adam helped Christina to her feet and the couple waved to the crowd.

        Christina looked at her partner, who at the insistence of an older couple seated nearby, was moving in for a kiss. She recoiled ever so slightly, not because she did not like Adam, but because he was not Richard.

        Before she had time to reflect on that, she stepped close to Adam and hugged him. She was sure that Adam noticed the rejection, but that no one else did.

        As the crowd died down when the couple separated, it was hard for Christina not to notice the disappointment on Adam's face.

        After an awkward silence that seemed to carry on into next week, Adam said, "I'm going to get another drink."

        Christina didn't know what to say and felt incredibly guilty when Adam stopped waiting for a response.

        "Wait up," Christina called as she went after him.

        "It's okay," he said from behind a weak smile. "It's really soon after a break-up to pull a stunt like that. I'm sure you need some time."

        "Yeah ..." Christina said half-heartedly. "Time."

        Adam sighed as he nodded to himself. "There it is."

        "There what is?"

        Adam paused as though he didn't want to ask the next question. "Are you in love with him?"

        "With Richard?" She asked incredulously. "How could anyone be in love with HIM? He is the most arrogant, self centered man on the face of the Earth! In my entire life, no one has ever made me so crazy, and feel so ..."

        Adam posed the question a second time with his face as Christina trailed off.

        "I can't be ..." she said, more for her benefit than Adam's. Her eyes drifted back to his as the unspoken words hung between them.

        As realization was crystalizing in Christina's mind, Adam leaned forward and gave her a small kiss on her lips.

        "What was that for?" she asked.

        "That was in case I never get another chance." Adam gave her another smile; one that was real. "I hope it works out for you. Really, I do. And if it doesn't ... well, you know where to find me."

        Unable to respond, Christina was still struggling with her revelation. She felt frozen in place as Adam disappeared into the crowd.

 

        The next day, Christina sat on her bed and gazed into a pair of deep brown eyes.

        "I ... I lo-" she attempted unsuccessfully. She bit her lower lip and tried again. "That is, I think ... I'm in ... love ..." the word sounded strange as she had not yet been able to persuade her mouth to go along with the plan. "I love you ... Boris," she added quickly on the end of the sentence.

        Boris, the owner of the eyes into which Christina was staring, wagged his tail.

        "... Because you're such a good puppy," she said as she scratched behind his ears. "And it doesn't seem to bother you that I've completely lost my mind."

        Sighing, Christina got off of the bed and stood in front of her vanity.

        Boris jumped down from the bed and took his place at Christina's side.

        Selecting a green ribbon that complimented the dress she was wearing, she explained to the dog, "See, crazy people like me like to make ourselves look their best before we proclaim our ... confused feelings to people we can't stand." Tying the ribbon into a hair band, she continued, "It's the fine attention to detail that separates full-on crazy from the merely neurotic."

        She looked down at the dog, who returned the gaze with a cocked neck, indicating that he was trying to make sense of the conversation.

        "I hope you're writing this down. When the people come to take me to the crazy house, you're gonna have to explain to everyone else what's going on."

        Boris trailed Christina as she went to the kitchen. Finding a comfortable place in the corner, he watched as Christina began cooking.

        It wasn't long before the counter was covered with supplies and a picnic basket was filled with sandwiches and fruit.

        Seeing Misha enter the kitchen, Christina's cheeks immediately went crimson. She always felt like she was caught doing something salacious when Misha found her making food for Richard.

        "It's just lunch," Christina blurted in an attempt to preempt any questions.

        "Excuse me, Tina?"

        "Um ... nothing. I'm just making lunch. It's not like a special occasion or anything."

        Now curious, Misha went to her niece and looked over her handiwork. "Should today be a special occasion?"

        Shaking her head, Christina answered, "No ... no ... today is just a day ... like yesterday."

        Misha touched Christina's shoulder and asked, "Tina dear, is there something you wish to talk about?"

        "No," she lied.

        "Then," Misha said as she walked back towards the living room, "enjoy your ordinary day." On the way out, she added, "You look very nice today."

        "Good," Christina exhaled. Raising her voice, she called, "Yes ... I mean, thank you."

        Boris perked up as he heard someone at the back door. Andrei came in and the dog met him.

        "There you are," he said to the dog. "Do you keep bacon in your room or something?" he asked his cousin.

        "Excuse me?"

        "Boris sleeps with you every night. He used to be my dog."

        "What can I say?" Christina said with a grin. "He has good taste."

        Shrugging off the last comment, he announced, "I'm going to see Steph. I'll be back in a bit."

        "Hey, do you think you could drop me off in town?"

        "Anywhere in particular?"

        "Nope," Christina bluffed. "Anywhere is fine."

        Looking at the picnic basket, Andrei asked, "Do you want me to take you to Richard's office?"

        "You know, wherever. That's a place in town ... so, okay."

        "Okay then," Andrei said as he took the basket.

        Boris stopped them at the door, demanding to go with them.

        "No," Andrei commanded.

        Boris responded with a huff.

        "We'll be back before you know it," Christina consoled as she and Andrei left Boris behind.

        "You must have bacon in your pockets," Andrei remarked as he loaded the basket into Christina's Saab. "Boris has been following you everywhere."

        Getting into the car next to Andrei, she joked, "I'll stop by the store later and get you a pork chop to wear so your dog will like you again.

        Andrei started the car, responding, "Very funny."

 

        Diana Van Buskirk scanned the bookshelf in Richard's office. Unlike the books in the waiting room, the ones kept in the office were of actual use and not intended to impress visitors. She took a few thick tomes from the shelves and carried them back to the front of the building.

        Richard was sitting at the front table. The entire table formed the center of a war room of sorts; there were so many papers that the old rotary phone and Richard's neglected cup of coffee had been put on the floor in an attempt to maximize space.

        "Do you have the notes from the last conference call?" Diana placed the books on the only corner of the table that still had a few inches of free space.

        Richard did not respond, so she again asked, "Richard, the conference call ..."

        Without looking up from his notes, he absentmindedly said, "I don't think that will help. I'm not sure she'll take my calls."

        Diana sat at the table across from Richard and studied his unshaven face. "The notes on the conference call," she insisted.

        "Yes, of course," he apologized, as he handed a file across the table.

        "This new moping side of your personality- it's not attractive."

        "I apologize. For the rest of the day, my focus will be right here."

        Diana dropped the conference call notes onto the table and went to Richard's side. She began massaging his shoulders and said, "This isn't like you, Richard. You've always been all business, even in the bedroom ... especially in the bedroom."

        "... And I'm back to being all business," he said as he focused on his work.

        Continuing the massage, Diana said, "I don't get it, Richie-Bear. Why are you so distracted? I've seen you with younger fruit before. You just squeeze the juice and move on."

        "It's comforting that you can summarize my love life in a way accessible to any green grocer."

        Widening the scope of the massage to the rest of his back, Diana continued, "It's just your nature. The only exception was me."

        "You did require multiple juicings ..." Richard joked.

        Diana leaned in so that her face was positioned over his shoulder. "Is the juice really that good?" she whispered.

        Oblivious to the play Diana was making, Richard stood up and seized the opportunity to vent. "That's just it- I have no idea."

        "What?"

        "Sex. We haven't had sex."

        Diana made her typical disingenuous laugh. "So you've said, but I assumed you weren't being serious."

        "I am," he continued in frustration. "I don't understand it myself. It's like I've got no bearings where Christina is concerned. Every time my head says it's time to move on ... something keeps me hanging on."

        Diana walked seductively over to Richard and purred, "Maybe it's time to stop chasing prudish little girls."

        Still venting, Richard said, "It's not about sex."

        "Everything is about sex," Diana insisted as she took Richard's hands in hers.

        "It's hard to explain. Have you ever had someone look into your eyes, and you can tell that they see you as the best possible version of yourself that you could ever be?"

        Diana looked Richard directly into his eyes leaving no doubt as to her intentions. "Do you know what I see when I look into your eyes? A very ... very bad man. That's the best version of you. Where is my naughty Richie-Bear?"

        "Diana, stop ..."

        Diana reached forward, cupped her hand between Richard's legs, and resumed her massage. "There he is."

        "Diana, I can't," Richard protested.

        "I think you can. I'm betting you can three times before lunch."

        "Diana ..."

        "How long has it been?" she interrupted as she continued the stimulation.

        Richard admitted, "It's been a while."

        "A while?" she purred. "It's no wonder you can't concentrate."

        "That's enough!" Richard said as forcefully as he could under the circumstances.

        A wicked grin crossed the woman's face. "I say when it's enough." Without removing her hand, she leaned against Richard and kissed him passionately.

        Richard slowly raised his hands and placed them on Diana's shoulders. He was about to push her away, but before he could, he heard the door open. The couple broke off the kiss and looked to the front door.

        Christina stood in the entranceway wearing a pure white sundress, her hair held back by an emerald ribbon tied in a bow. Her hands were gripping the handle of her picnic basket, and her face had a natural blush.

        She wasn't crying or even frowning. The image that formed in her eyes had yet to be processed, and much like a car skidding on ice, she continued on her initial trajectory, though it no longer made any sense.

        "I made lunch," she said through the shock. "I made enough for Diana, too." Christina put the basket down on the bench next to the coat stand.

        "Christina," Richard pleaded.

        Looking down at the basket, she continued, "I was hoping we could talk ... I had something important to ..." And then it hit her. Christina raised her head and closed her eyes as tightly as she could. Her stomach tightened and her chest shook as all the air was forced out of her lungs and tears streamed down her face. "I'm so stupid," she whispered to herself. Without looking back at Richard, Christina fled through the front door.

        "Christina, wait!" he called after her. He started to run to the door but was stopped by Diana's grip on his hand.

        "You don't have to go after her," she said.

        Richard forcefully threw off her hand and snarled, "Yes I do."

        Again stopping him, she shouted, "Why?"

        Richard looked at Diana directly in the eyes and proclaimed, "Because I've never been in love before!" It was only after the words escaped his mouth did he realize that it wasn't the sort of confession one should make to a former lover.

        Scorn burned in Diana's eyes, and she slapped the man hard across his face.

        Richard had no time to apologize nor appreciate the sting. Without hesitation, he ran out the door after the girl he loved.

        Christina wasn't even sure where she was going. Her face was covered with tears and she was breathing so quickly and so forcefully that she was becoming light headed.

        "Christina, please wait!" Richard shouted as he caught up with her.

        "Go away," Christina sobbed.

        "Please," he insisted as he stood in front of her.

        "I can't believe I let this happen again," she said to herself. Her voice was erratic as she was struggling both to speak and breathe while she wept.

        Richard pleaded, "Just give me a chance to explain."

        "Don't lie to me," Christina moaned.

        "I know what you saw, but it's not what you think-"

        "DON'T LIE TO ME!" she shouted.

        "Please," Richard said as he started to cry.

        "I can't believe I came here to tell you that I was in love with you."

        "Christina, I'm in love with you, too."

        "No ... No ... Don't you DARE say that to me."

        "But it's the truth," he begged.

        "I'm so stupid," Christina said to herself as much as Richard. "I knew who you were, but I let you trick me. You made me actually believe I was in love with you ..." Christina wiped some tears away, but this proved futile, as her eyes renewed the streams running down her face. "I don't ever want to see you again. I don't want you anywhere near me."

        "Princess, please don't say that."

        In an instant of rage, Christina reached up and slapped Richard across the face. "You don't get to call me Princess anymore," she said with a devastating finality.

        Christina continued sobbing, and ran down the road in the same direction she'd been going, still unsure of where that would take her. In a way, the direction didn't matter so long as Richard Masters was behind her.

        Richard, for his part, finally let her go. He was unsure if the only girl he'd ever loved would ever take him back again, but he was sure that in this moment there was nothing he could say to change her mind.

 

        Christina sat on the ground by the side of the road. She didn't know how long she'd been there, but at some point her heels had made it impossible to continue. She sat, hunched over herself, her entire body rising up and down as her weeping refused to abate.

        Regaining her senses long enough to realize that she was lost, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. Her first instinct was to call Andrei. She pressed the speed dial number for her cousin, and after a few rings, he picked up.

        "Andrei," she pleaded, "I need you to come get me; please come get me."

        Hearing the distress in her voice, he said, "What's wrong? ... Tell me what's going on."

        "Just please- please come get me. I want to go home."

         Realizing that his cousin was in no state of mind to tell him what was happening, he instead demanded, "Tell me where you are."

        "I don't know," she sobbed. "I just started walking. I don't know where I am."

        "You were at Richard's office, right?"

        "Yes."

        "Okay," Andrei said calmly. "When you left, did you head into town or away from town?"

        "Away from town. Please ... come get me."

        "I'll be right there," Andrei promised. "Just stay right where you are- I'll be there soon as I can."

        It took Andrei about fifteen minutes to find his cousin. He was driving so fast that he passed the girl sitting on the side of the road. Slamming on the brakes, Andrei left two long, curving tire marks as the old Saab screeched to a halt. He backed up, parked the car, and immediately ran to Christina's side.

        "What happened to you?" he pleaded.

        "I just want to go home," she cried.

        Andrei helped Christina up and held her door while she got into the car. Once he was certain that Christina was securely inside, he got behind the driver's wheel and started the ignition.

        "No ... wait." Christina said.

        Andrei turned off the car. "I thought you wanted to go home."

        "Just give me a minute. I don't want everyone to see me crying like this."

        "What happened?" Andrei pleaded. "What the hell is going on?"

        "Richard's cheating on me." Christina wept. "He never cared about me."

        Andrei reached over and held his cousin. "I'm so sorry."

        Christina stayed in her cousin's arms for a while and continued to cry. After a while, she looked at Andrei, brushed away her tears, and begged him, "You have to tell me, why does this happen to me? Why am I so ... replaceable?"

        "That's crazy!"

        Fresh tears rolled down Christina's face. "It's true. I know it's true." She looked up at Andrei with pleading eyes, and said, "You won't lie to me. Please, I have to know... why, just tell me why it's so easy for people to forget about me."

        "Why would you even ask me that?"

        "Because you'll tell me the truth ... And you replaced me, too."

        "What are you talking about?" Andrei said with concern in his voice. "No one could ever replace you."

        Christina shook her head and again wiped tears from her face. "I know how you used to feel about me. I left after Thanksgiving, and by the time I got back at Christmas, you were in love with Steph."

        Andrei sat up straight when he realized what Christina was getting at.

        "I mean, I get it. I would choose Steph, too. I just want you to tell me, why it was so easy to get over me. That's all I want to know. Please just tell me."

        Andrei put both his hands on the steering wheel. He let out a long slow breath that lasted until his lungs were completely empty. "The truth is ... I never did." He looked at Christina, and their eyes met.

        Although it didn't do much to console her, she looked into Andrei's eyes, and she knew what he said was the truth.

        "It's not that I don't love Steph. I do. I really do. She makes me so incredibly happy. But that doesn't mean that I ever got over you. And I'm not sure that I ever will."

        After a long pause, he continued, "You can't ask me why it's so easy to replace you, because I never could."

         Christina's breathing slowed as she eventually accepted what her cousin had said. Leaning over, Christina rested her head against Andrei. "You're such a perv," she joked sadly, with a voice strained from crying.

        Both she and Andrei laughed, and Christina made an effort to clear her nose.

        Andrei insisted, "You have to promise me that you're never going to tell her that."

        "I won't," Christina promised. She sat for a while with her eyes closed. When she opened them, she said, "There's something I should probably tell you. When I told you that I had a crush on you, I wasn't telling the truth. I really had a crush on Steph. That's another thing we probably shouldn't tell her."

        "You had a crush on ... Steph?" Andrei took a moment to let that truth settle in. "So, you never had a crush on me?"

        "I thought I didn't, but maybe I really did," Christina confessed.

        "What does that mean?"

        "I told you that I had a crush on you, because I couldn't bear to hurt your feelings. And I knew that I never had a chance with Steph, and she was so in love with you ..."

        Andrei nodded, though he was slightly hurt to learn the truth.

        "But the thing is, when I saw you and Steph so happy together, I mean, I was upset because I still wanted Steph, but what I didn't expect was how jealous I felt because she got you. In a way, you used to be mine, and then you weren't. I'm not going to lie- it hurt. I think, you were the first man I have ever been attracted to, and I had no idea."

        "How could you feel that way and not even know it?"

        Christina admitted, "I think ... I tell myself a thousand little lies everyday ... because I don't think I can handle how I really feel about anything."

        After letting that sink in, Andrei asked, "So, are you still attracted to me?"

        "Yeah, I think so," she confessed. "I really don't like being number two on your speed dial."

        "Are you still attracted to Steph?"

        Christina nodded, and said, "... Yeah. But, you know, we're just really good friends."

        "So really," Andrei said gravely, "You're the big perv."

         Christina looked up at her cousin's face and erupted into laughter. "Yeah, I guess I am. I guess we both are." Just as quickly as her frown had left her face, it was suddenly back. Sitting up straight, she said, "I think I'm ready to go home now."

        Andrei started the car, and made a U-turn. Not another word was spoken by either of them as Andrei took Christina home.

 

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Edited into coherence by Holly H. Hart.

Thanks to Sephrena Miller for taking an early read.