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So I gotten a PM and while it was just the opinion of one person it did get me to thinking and wondering?
Is this getting stale?
The main thing is actually the play by play for the club scenes and to a lesser extent the things in Angel's day.
Is her doing stuff the way I've been writing it getting stale enough that I should push the plot more? I don't really want to force things in stories or gloss over stuff in a time line that much but...it has been niggling away at me a little before the PM.
People seem to want action, or stuff to happen more so should I trim these parts?
I'd love some feedback on this and maybe what you fans would like to see too. I don't just write these stories just for my pleasure for me they're interactive in a way too so...
Let me know:)
*Great Big Hugs*
Comments
I love the way jem has been going
Julie D
don't change
I like the pacing, you're doing great
Is it getting stale? Nope.
Is it getting stale? Nope. No. Absolutely not.
Should you trim the club stuff? Nope. No. Absolutely not.
Music and food are intrinsic parts of Jem and have been since the start. Given the source material inspiration I'd be more worried if there were no music scenes of Starlight Butterfly. Jem without music just wouldn't work. In addition, given that the plot is pitting two bands against each other - Summer's vs. Jem's - it seems right that we get to see Starlight Butterfly perform and experience their development. I've always seen the club scenes being about Jem learning to express herself and building her confidence.
You also - and importantly - weave plot developing arcs around (and sometimes through) the chapters about music and the things in Angel's day. We see Adam's plotting, we see Summer's scheming and other cast members playing their parts. I actually think the pacing works well in that we have slower, happy Jem chapters of her doing the things she loves with the people she loves interspersed with quicker action chapters.
Also, perhaps a little selfishly, I love the club chapters because it offers new music to explore which I enjoy.
I haven't felt the story lacks direction and it still has a clear endgame to it (Jem either winning or losing in her struggle against Adam). So my feedback? I'm happy with the direction and pace taken and looking forward to more chapters.
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
I LOVE JEM
I absolutely love JEM.
I think that it is your best work.
Please please continue
There should be a little of both really
Problem is, it makes the story a bit lopsided. In the meantime, the opposition is actually doing something and it is unrealistic to think that while she is doing her transition thing that the opposition is standing still. Depends if you want to write about the background intrigue or not really. I really like her as a character but do you think Summer is not trying to set up something to ruin SLB's day?
Do you want the story to have any tension or is it mostly sweetness and light?
Kim
You're doing fine Bailey
I've been following Jem for a long time, I would not call it stale at all, Bailey!
Sure, it might be interesting to add in more POV from the Bad Guyz, like Summer? Love to see you explore some more of that situation and how she schemes back against her new "owner" (maybe let her figure things out and scheme to put one over on him?)
But, regardless of the pacing, I love Jem and I think you are doing great, as with all of your work :)
Big hugs!
Re: Jem
I've been reading Jem since the beginning and I only lament that your muse can't produce the stories faster, not the pacing of the story itself.
Good character development is needed so when stress and tragedy possibly arise later, there's more involvement and empathy.
Also, I'm fairly certain this is my first comment on the site, despite years of use. That's how much your story means to me.
I honestly think the pacing is fine
It feels like life. Life is sometimes ordinary day to day stuff, heck, life is mostly day to day stuff. Drama needs ordinary to have any meaning.*
Moon
*YMMV
Jem contents
Ok for me.
Could do with more of them nudge nudge wink wink
More of less
I haven't read the latest episode yet (something I'm looking forward to) so can't comment on this one.
My only suggestion though would be to concentrate on one or two of your tales and take them to a conclusion. This probably says more about me being unable to keep 15 plots in my head at the same time than about your writing.
I do look forward to each new piece you write though.
I guess I'm in the minority,
but I just feel like there is a bit too much "sweetness and light" and not enough of the "behind the scenes" plot against Jem and her mates. The plotters are a big part of the story and there are so many questions still unanswered or even hinted at yet. Why is Adam so infatuated with Jem/Angel? Is it truly possible he has no clue he has no clue that Jem is/was really his favorite whipping boy? What about "Dad" and his plotting to keep Adam in his shadow? When does Mike get a real shot at putting Adam's lights out?
Make no mistake... I mean no disrespect Bailey, and this is, after all YOUR story, not mine. Perhaps you might consider alternating chapters? One examining Jem's transition and her growing relationships with the band and the girls, then one with more of the others and their machinations against Jem and Summer and the others? You've given us a really good villain in Adam. I think he deserves a bit more attention than he's been given in the last several chapters.
As I said, when all is said and done, this is YOUR story and I will continue reading it regardless of how you choose to allow us to enjoy it. One of the other commenters did suggest that maybe you have too many irons in the fire with all your other stories still ongoing?
Anyway, thanks for sharing this, and your other works, with us. I know how it can be, with plots and storylines all clamoring for your attention, like a muse with a spiked mace clubbing you over the head with demands for this story, or that one, to be continued.
Keep on keeping on, girl.
Huggles,
Catherine Linda Michel
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.
Looking forward to forgetfulness
Hi Bailey:
I recently went through a period where circumstances caused me to lose touch with this site for quite a while. When I came back, I tried to catch up with all of the series that I'd been following, but after such a long break, it was nigh on impossible to remember the history attached to each of the names in all of the stories. So I came up with a solution. My plan is to wait a suitable length of time until the point where, once I start them from the beginning again, my poor memory will allow me to enjoy them as "new to me".
So... the bottom line is that I'm not qualified to have an opinion on whether or not Jem is moving along at a good pace. Not because I lost interest, but because I'm waiting for it all to get a little more blurry in my mind. But I have complete faith that Jem is still just as wonderful as it's always been. How could it be anything else... Bailey's writing it!
.
.
The girl in me. She's always there, and right now
she's waiting to be just a little more dippy.
Wait... what was I talking about?
Pacing
I like the slow and steady approach - after all, although there's plenty of plotting running beneath the surface, Adam's a careful mover - observing and building up a picture (from his PoV - leaving out stuff he thinks unimportant e.g. business relationships, internet presence) of his target before eventually pouncing. As Starlight Butterfly have protection with them at their gigs, he can't just strike at them - and he's already found indirect strikes (e.g. at the van) don't deter them.
Besides which, the plot isn't the only thread running through the story - there's the story of Starlight Butterfly themselves, the story of Angel's transition, the relationships between the band members and Remy, the foodgasms... I could go on :D
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!