Wednesday July 26

Dearest Diary,

Had another great day, even if I didn’t got to see Mike. But I think I am getting to find my new style! I know, I used to dress really boring and not taking much time to make myself presentable. But now, I discover all these really cute clothes I have that I never bothered with before. Can you imagine?

I also really enjoy taking my time in the morning getting ready. In many ways it is the best time of the day. Since I seem to sleep better now, especially after Skyping with Mike. He is just so sweet and it feels like we are really getting like closer, almost like we are getting to know each other all over again. Sometimes it is like I can’t even remember what we had before but I do know one thing; what we have now feels pretty special. I just love that guy.

This morning for example, I woke up well before six and just felt so rested and filled with energy! After a quick shower I sat down in front of the mirror, worked on my face and just enjoyed the quietness. I actually really like to see the before and after in the mirror, it’s like, I don’t know why I never noticed before how much better I feel when I have some color on my face. And I am quite good in transforming my eyes from dull boring to quite, what’s that word I read yesterday… alluring! I like that word, alluring. Alluring alluring alluring! Lol

Anyways, todays outfit was the grey chambray skirt and a white fitted tee. I think it must be called that because A. I read something about tees in Cosmo yesterday and B. it fits me like perfect. I must confess that it did look a bit tiny when I pulled it out of my dresser but it is long enough to tuck in and it has this fitted chest that perfectly covers my chest and the tank.

Now the tanks confuse me because they are not really tanks they are more like bras. Cosmo had this totally cool article about how to pick your correct tank size only they call them bras. Bras, tanks, same difference. Anyway, I learned a lot from that and of course had to measure. It appears that I am a 34A, almost B. So there. But here’s the really cool part; I have a couple of tanks, bras, that are really thick in the cup with padding AND have this little cushion in them that make the bra look bigger! Can’t exactly remember where or when I got, must have been a while ago and I never bothered to use them. Big mistake!

So this morning I picked out a white one with both padding and the little pillows in them and oh my, does that look nice with the white tee. I was like totally amazed! I think I stood for like ten minutes in from of the mirror checking myself out from different angles. And when I got the shoes on it was like I took on a totally different posture. I know, I am so totally weird! But I just couldn’t get enough of looking at the finished product; from my newfound chest to my legs. Yes ok, I love my legs too! I especially love how they look and shimmer when I wear hose, even if it is almost a little too warm for it. But I have to keep a professional look for the office, so what to do? ;-) Besides, with thigh highs it’s not that bad, just have to remember to pull them up a little every now and then.

Of course Paula noticed that I was in such a great mood and wanted to know what was up. Since I didn’t really know why, I just smiled and bobbed my shoulders. She just laughed and said “I bet it has something to do with that boy Mike of yours!”
I also discovered that I don’t mind getting looks and glances from people. Like my boss or the guys in the shop, even total strangers on the street. It seems like if you take just a little effort to make yourself look nice, people appreciate that. And seeing someone smiling and looking at me actually feels good. It does feels nice to look good. Who knew!

Mike called and said that he wouldn’t be able to hang out today, he had to work late. Total bummer. I was still in such a good mood that I decided to go with Paula to the mall after work. I mean, it’s not like I spend a lot of money on myself and I have ton of clothes already. Paula said that a woman can never have too much clothes, especially shoes! Now that’s funny since I almost only have one pair, my loved red ones. I feel almost naked without them!

I did try out some shoes though and yes, even bought two pairs. Not sure what happened there. But I found these totally cute sandals, and although I at first didn’t think I would like them I totally changed my mind after trying them on. The straps are so thin and they are soo light that it feels like I am wearing nothing. Except that they make me taller. Which is good, since I feel so short next to Mike. I will have to find a good opportunity to wear them, see what he thinks. I bet he will love them!

So now I’m back, Dear Diary. I took a break, did you notice? I bet not. Oh I’m so silly, I know!

Well Mike blinged on Skype and we chatted for a good little while. I know it was late and he was really tired after working so long but I so love him for still wanting to chat for a little while. And he did notice my outfit of the day too! He didn’t say it in so many words but I know he did because after we went video he sort of perked up and paid a lot more intention to his screen. I know I’m weird but I really liked it and I tried to inconspicuously turn in ways that made my chest pop. Or stand out if you know what I mean! I can’t help it, I love when Mike pays attention to me and tell me sweet things. Which he did!

At any rate, tomorrow Mike’s truck is in and I promised to go with him to pick it up. Can’t wait!

Thursday July 27

Dearest Diary,

Well… it happened! It finally really happened! But let me start from the beginning…
Woke up in an equally good mood today, probably even better. If you can keep a secret I will tell you why! Of course you can keep a secret, you are my Diary, I can tell you anything!

Anyways… I feel so embarrassed talking about. But in a good way, so here goes. So after I hung up with mike it was kinda late. I rushed to wash my face off and get in my jammies. But when I was laying there trying to sleep all I could think about was Mikes smile, even if I only get to see it today on the computer. But I was thinking about the other day, remember? When I thought he was going to kiss me? I mean, really? Mike kissing me, that’s just silly. But then I was thinking about what it would feel like. I know, totally weird. But still. And the way he touched my hand too.

At any rate, it did make me feel all warm and fuzzy and that how I fell asleep. Then I had the weirdest dream; I dreamt about a guy holding my hand just like Mike did but I could not see his face. At least I can’t remember it. But it felt nice. Then the guy touched my shoulders and neck and I woke up all goosebumpy. But in like a good way. The weird thing was that my one hand was on my chest and the other between my legs and so I laid for a while, trying to remember the dream. I think my fingers started to move by themselves and let me tell you… Goosebumps major! Especially when touching my chest. I swear, it almost felt like my nipples doubled in size!

As you know I have sort of had this stigma about touching myself down there, not sure whey. Just always felt forbidden, but last night… Well I did touch myself, more than I’ve ever done. And it felt great. Thinking about it now I almost feel like I would like to stick a mirror down there and look but that would be weird and probably not cool. But last night I did some exploring with my fingers and it felt totally natural. It was like as if a curfew was lifted and I dared explore. It did feel weird at first and I would only do it at night anyways but… it was wonderful. Exiting, forbidden, shameful and oh wonderful. But I actually dared go inside my panties and feel, cupping my hand around it. I can’t remember it ever felt that way or even doing it before and as I said, it still feels a little forbidden. Like I am not ready to go all the way. But it is sensitive, soft, rounded, with a little indent of sorts and let me tell you; there is one part that is really sensitive!

So sensitive that after a while I felt like something inside my belly opened up and this wave just flushed right up through my chest and up to my head. It was quick but it was like almost electric!

So now you know. But don’t tell anyone!

But if that was hot wait until your hear the rest of my day! Today was a hectic day. For reason just discussed I seemed to slept a little longer than usual and thus had to hurry in the morning. I wasn’t completely happy with the outfit; a brown skirt and grayish polo shirt, along with hose and shoes.

Still got some compliments about my looks but not to the extent of yesterday. Not that it mattered because the phones were crazy, shop guys insane and the boss a raving lunatic. Well not really, but is was a very busy day. So busy that I almost forgot about that today was the day we were to pick up Mike’s new truck. I actually didn’t get to think about it until just before quitting time. Whish got a me stressed so Paula told me to get out a little earlier.

This was a good thing since I had paid little thought about what to wear. But I have this idea that I want to look nice for Mike so after a shower I started to frantically rummage through my closet.

After throwing out most of it on the floor I found thus ubercute denim outfit; a short denim style jacket in thin faux leather with gold splashes on it and a totally cute, but kinda short, matching skirt. I paired this with a black top that also had some goldish patterns and — instant cuteness!

Luckily I also found a black bra and matching undies. The bra had a little white fluff on it but that’s ok. Since the skirt was kinda short I opted for pantyhose and found a deep gold tan pair that, I must say, made my legs look quite stunning!

I took my time redoing my face, using a little more color. I really liked the result and so did Mike, just wait until your hear! I also put my hair up in a little tail in the back. Not so much a pony tail, more like clipped it up similar to a style I say in a mag. Totally cute. I paired it with a pair of matching ear rings and a necklace and bracelet I borrowed from mum.

I was totally taken with the look myself and was still standing turning and twisting in front of the mirror when Mike honked the horn outside. I literally ran down the steps and was on my way out when Mom told me to wait.

“He really should not just honk the horn for girlfriend like that but rather come to the door. Let him wait a while.”

I thought that was an odd thing to say but in a way it made sense. So after minute the doorbell rang and Mom opened the door. The look on Mike’s face was priceless. Even though he didn’t immediately said anything about my outfit I could tell he loved it! And I felt so proud, having put it all together myself, getting the attention from Mike and just feeling… good looking. Even pretty. I know, silly thing to say, but that’s what I felt like!

Mike was unusually chatty all the way to the dealership and so cute. I like KNEW he wanted to look, check me out, but he didn’t want to be too obvious about it. But for example, when we pulled into the lot I used the visor mirror to check my face and put a little gloss on and I noticed that he totally checked me out. Especially my legs! And you know what? It felt good and I feel we are gaining a connection like we never have before. He is always so attentive around me, always seems to be one step ahead of what I am doing or thinking.

Like when I get out of the car and when we entered the building; always holding the door open for me now. I like that too.
I get this feeling that he is almost proud of me in a way. Weird huh? Like, he was sure to introduce me to the sales guy, who very carefully shook my hand holding just my finger only, before they got busy on the paperwork. I like those handshakes rather than the grab-the-hand-and-pump-it-like-a-krank things!

The paperwork though took like forever. They had to test the car Mike was trading in, leasing agreements, insurance, titles and I don’t know what. Took forever.

Luckily they had this customer area where I managed to secure a not-so-great latte from the machine and an old issue of Seventeen (in a car dealership? Really? :-P )

So as I was sitting there I noticed that I was being, well, noticed. It didn’t strike me at first but after a while I realized that most every guy there was looking at my legs! Felt weird at first but at the same time enjoyable. I glanced over at Mike and he caught it too. At first I thought it would irritate him but as he slowly shook his head and smiled at me I got this sense again that it made him, well, proud. Proud that I was with him there and not someone else. Weird, not sure how exactly how to describe but that’s what I gathered. It made me happy though and I did get a kick from shifting my position from time to time and let my toes play with my shoes, almost like I was playing a game!

So anyway, after a while and after the not-so-great-latte, I felt I needed the restroom. I asked one of the staff guys where it might be located and he very politely directed me where to go; through a door passing all these small rooms, (for the sales staff I think), to the end of the hallway. Now the weird thing is that they had two sets of them. At work we only have one restroom in the office but this place had two. One marked with a cartoonish figure in pants and ‘Boys’ under it, one wearing a skirt with ‘Girls’ . I got a bit confused at first but then realized that since I was indeed wearing a skirt I should opt for the latter. Duh. I mean, how blonde can I get sometimes!

I must say I have never seen a restroom like this; all stalls, no hanging urinals on the walls. They also had it nicely decorated, with several large mirrors, a chair, some nice dried florals and cute paintings. Very classy. And at a car dealership at that! I did my business and also made sure to freshen up my face with some powder and dab of lip-gloss. As I was buffing my hair up a woman entered, I could tell from her name plate that she was an employee. She complimented me for my earrings; a golden and black dangling set I thought would match my outfit well.

We chatted a while as she was washing her hands and brushing up her makeup. I told her I was here with Mike picking up his new truck and she nodded knowingly. Proves she was the one setting up the financing on it. Then she said something I thought sounded weird at first, she said something like;

“Well Mike sure is getting a nice vehicle. And he is such a nice and polite young man to deal with. It’s so nice to see young people starting out, and now that I’ve met his gorgeous girlfriend I’m even more happy for him. You two take care of yourself now. It was nice meeting you!”

Girlfriend? Really? The when I exited the restroom I noticed the skirted cartoon sign again and finally got it; if you are wearing a skirt you are of course a girl and if you are wearing pants you are a boy. Duh, I knew that. It’s just that I haven’t thought about it in that basic simplified way before.

I must say it felt nice getting such a sweet compliment from th3 staff lady. In way it made me feel even closer to Mike and as I walked back out into the showroom where Mike and the sales guy was finishing up the paperwork I again noticed the looks I received. But it was the smile from Mike that warmed me. I smiled back and walked up to him returning his smile. For a second there I swear I felt like one of those models on the catwalk. I could hear my heels clicking loudly against the marble floor as I walked up to them and I could see Mike’s beautiful blue eyes appreciating me with pride. It felt good!

Outside I noticed that the step in to the new truck was a lot higher than expected. Of course Mike helped me in but I still had some trouble making sure not to show too much thighs as I felt the skirt riding up quite a bit. Not that Mike seemed to mind though! I actually noticed him doing a double take! Boys!

I really do love Mike’s new truck! We took it for a drive of course, down to Mickey Dee’s and after that an ice cream shop by the strip mall. (Why do they call them strip malls anyways??) Mike was happy as a little cute pig with his new toy and I was so happy for him. He took several new pictures of it and then he started to take pictures of me. Silly boy. Anyways, I posed nicely for him and actually enjoyed the attention!

As I sat there I actually checked Mike out in return. His beautiful eyes, his short dark hair, his broad shoulders, muscular lower arms and biceps stretching his black t-shirt, his boot cut jeans and trusty cowboy boots. And the cutest butt! I can’t believe I said that, even less wrote it! But it is kinda cute, the way it fills out his jeans.

And there was something more. There was this little bulge in front. I mean, I know what it is but I’ve never quite studied about it until now. I guess it was always noticeable and there but like I said, I haven’t really put any attention to it before because I realized how different we are in that aspect, me and Mike.

I mean, for one thing, Mike is way taller than me. If I would stand right in front of him, without shoes I would probably only reach with my nose up to his chest, barely!

Where he is muscular and strong, I am slender and soft. My hands and fingers seems to be almost half compared to his. His size 13 shoes dwarfs my size 6. Where his body shape is like V shaped (allowing for his cute butt!), mine is more curved with an, if I might say, very well defined waist. And if we should talk about butts again, mine is slightly bigger than his and way more rounded from the hips to my thighs. Still think his is cuter though!

I like the differences though and I think Mike does too. We seem to complement each other in some way, like two sides of a coin or something. I know that’s a weird comparison but it seems to make sense.

We had a good time anyway today. After the ice-cream we sat in his truck for a good while, trying to figure out all its gadgets. It is so spacious inside that you could easily fit three people in the front seat, maybe 4 with that mid console tilted up! This allowed me to sit very comfortably with my legs crossed, strategically turned slightly Mikes way. Yes Diary, you are correct; I enjoy when Mike checks my legs out! But in all fairness it also gave me a good view of him and the funny thing is, I could almost swear that the bulge inside of his pants seemed bigger. I actually caught myself thinking about this and it made me tingle a bit.
I guess I got this realization that I affect mike in a good way. In several good ways actually. I know that he appreciates my appearance and I love him for that. But he also appreciate and value my views and ideas. Not that we got into any deeper discussions tonight, but in general, I mean.

At any rate, that only make me like him even more and it also make it so much more important to me to always be on my best and look as good as I can when I am with him.

We had the best of times and as Mike pulled the truck into our driveway it was like I really didn’t want the day to end yet. As we walked up to the porch and the front door I wanted to come up with something clever and nice to say but I just couldn’t. This clearly had a lot to do with the fact that Mike had never let go of my hand after helping me out of the truck. And I had made no attempt to shake it off either. It felt nice; his huge hand ever so lightly surrounding my tiny palm and fingers.

So there we were, at the front door when Mike said,

“Thanks for coming with me to pick up the truck. I had a super day and evening. Sorry for it taking so long at the dealership though.”

I looked up into those blue eyes. I think the porch light must have done something to them because they seemed to sparkle with and warm glow that just made me almost weak to my knees.

Squeezing his hand I replied,

“Oh Mike, I had a wonderful great time and I just love the truck. It’s sooo nice and I’m really happy for you, and….”

That was about as far as I got before that darn twinkle in his eyes cut me off. I am not quite sure what happened after that that but suddenly I felt Mikes hand on my shoulder and his lips on mine. Very gently, barely touching at first, then as I must have parted my lips slightly, I felt his wonderful lips harden up and do the same. As the tip of his tongue touched the inner of my upper lip I closed my eyes pushed my lips against his lightly.

I don’t know how long it lasted but it was wonderful and magic and timeless and totally awesome. I pretty sure it didn’t last nearly long enough.

So that was it. It happened. I have kissed my best friend. I have been kissed by Mike. And I loved it.

My, will I sleep good tonight!

PS
Got a text from Mike,

‘Sleep tight, dream sweet. I know I will! <3’

Not sure what the 3 meant though, but it does tell me that he think about me as much as I think about him!

Just a few notes before I go to work. I had the most wonderful dream tonight and I just know that if I don’t write about it now I’m afraid it will fade. Dreams always do, don’t they? In fact, it already did fade, I only remember a part with me and Mike kissing, like last night on the porch. Only, the kiss in the dream seemed to last forever, Mike was holding me tight in his arms refusing to let me go. Not that I wanted him to. Something in the dream actually woke me up once, still shaking a bit and all sweaty, with a subsiding tingle in my tummy and groin. It did not take me long to go back to sleep though… ;-)

So anyways, since it’s casual Friday today I’m just going to opt for a simple white skirt, a little wider and longer than yesterday. Because I want to save the good stuff for Mike. And probably this cute light pink tennis shirt.

Texted a good morning to Mike and got a smiley and that ‘3 thing’ back. It’s going to be a good day! I’ll write all about it later. Ta ta!

So this was a great day until Mike called with horrible news. Mike will be leaving. For maybe a like a month. Or more. I’m so upset, I’ve been crying all night.

It’s like this; Mike’s employer want to send him down to Texas to work on some dumbass equipment. It’s the rig he is working on now and apparently he has gotten so good at it that they want to send him down there to train someone on how to run it right. Good for him, bad for me. I know I sound like a total bitch but I can’t help it, now wI don’t get to see him for I don’t know how long and maybe he’ll forget all about me and meet some totally beautiful girl down there and stay there forever and fall in love with her and never want to come back and that sucks.

I think he could hear on my voice and wanted me to go Skype but I didn’t want him to see me like this, mascara running and all. To his defense I must say that he sounded like he would miss me too but he did promise to call me every day. Well he better!

He did text me a goodnight and three of those 3-s again. So I texted like ten of them back at him. Made me feel better. A little.

It’s going to be some long weeks ahead though.