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Author's Note: My thanks goes to all the people who support the effort in producing this story: SaraUK for editing & HTML for Part 1, Builder55 for editing Part 2, and Sephrena for HTML for Part 2.

And a big thank you to Bailey Summers for her allowing me to play with her character Jamie from A O H. ~Misha

Lyrics Credits: Rod Stewart - Faith of the Heart Lyrics, Miley Cyrus - The Climb Lyrics.

Image Credit: José N. Harris - Time .
 

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Part 2

More Please

I was excited but out of it when we were at the club. The focus and energy from performing waned a bit, as did my balance from drinking. I felt like I was walking on a ship during a storm. It occurred to me that I needed to get out of the shoes I was wearing, as I was struggling to stand. Poppy decided to help me in case I needed help in removing my shoes.

Poppy told Michele, “Michele my girl, you look to be a little tipsy. You might want to sit down a bit until you get your bearings back and take those neck breakers off.”

After Poppy eased me into our booth, I removed my shoes. While removing my shoes it occurred to me why wearing heels and drinking is a bad idea. Poppy added, “Michele, real girlfriends don’t let their friends walk drunk in heels."

Having no experience with being drunk, I needed the help. The manager of the club gave me another stiff drink along with some prize money. Immediately, Poppy and Danny took control of my silly self. Before I started to drink the last drink given to me, Danny stopped me.

Michele said to Poppy, “I think I need to sit the rest of the evening out. Gads, things are so wobbly and I am so fuzzy, I can’t see or think straight?

Michele then asked Danny “Danny be honest with me. Is it me, or is the room rolling a bit?

“Girl, a word from a wise friend, before you get yourself stupid from drinking, I think you need to stop. From what you have already drunk, it is going to have a steadily increasing effect on you.” Danny replied.

“Oh good grief Danny, what have I done? I am so sorry to be embarrassing you in public. First I act as if I can sing, then get drunk. What’s next? No, no, I do not want to know. I need to get home before I do something bad.” Michele stated.

“Let’s get you home, my misbehaving angel. You’re still a long way from phoo pah. Sam and I still have that record from when we me in Thailand.” Danny said in a low voice. Sam then chuckled and added, “Oh those were the days, and they were fun, but thank God they ended. It would have killed me if they didn’t. Michele my love, you are only modestly off kilter and between friends it is nothing, so chill out and relax. We’ll keep you safe and modest.”

That got me to ease up on myself a bit. While we were walking to the car, I was able to walk a relatively straight line. I believe Mark Twain put it best, when he commented in a story about a drunken person falling down a set of weaving stairs, “God pity the sailor out on a night like this.” By the time we arrived home, I was full sail into the gale, and having a little problem walking up my set of weaving stairs. It was late in the morning, about 3 a.m. and it took Poppy’s assistance to get me on my couch.

My confusion at waking up on the couch wrapped up in my Santa Fe blanket wasn’t too bad. The sight of a trophy on the coffee table was the real shocker. It brought back the memories from last night to me. There sitting on the table was the physical evidence from last night ensuring it was not a fantasy.
 

OPERATION REMEMBER THIS

The morning after the night before, saw the six conspirators in a multiple lined phone and internet huddle. Sam and Danny were pulling their end of ‘Operation Remember This’ talking to Poppy who was getting Betty, Jessa, and Elena ready to be picked up. Seala was Skyping for directions to Michele’s condominium.

“With the distractions of Poppy and posse, and Seala can keep her busy in the studio until Danny's set up is complete. Michele will be clueless until she comes back down stairs.”

“Sam” Seala inquired, “what time should clueless me be ready?”

Sam answered, “Seala my dear, you are never clueless, only uniformed for your protection. I will call you about 15 minutes before I collect you around 1 p.m. But, depending on other timings on our end, that time may shift a bit, so I will text you about any changes.”

Sam told Poppy, “you should show up around 1 p.m. or there about. I want to give our poor darling a chance to wake up and eat something light before we descend on her sanctum. Everything will go pear shape if we do not pull this part off correctly. Let’s set our watches to 9:00 a.m. Mark now!”

Poppy, Sam and Danny all sung out 'done' as they have so many times in the past performing some coordinated activity together. The others just giggled at there perceived silliness.

“Sam, what’s with the James Bond act?” Elena asked, and then said, “I think you love playing spy too much.”

“Elena my dear child, in my younger days, I would have been able to catch and seduce agent Bond if he ever existed. That was when I was with the government Special Ops. Bond stands out like a neon sign to a real field operative. Our life was based on blending in and just being like everyone else. Not flashy and too pretty to be believed.” Sam replied.

“You were a Mountie, Sam. I can’t believe that you were Nell or Dudley horse.” Betty chortled.

“He did play Nell a couple of times during operations and his partner was hung like the horse”, Danny interjected. “Yes, he was an important part of the department, acting as a coordinator communications, intelligence gathering, medic and so many other hats, his boss called him Swiss Army knife operative. He even turned a high-level Russian agent who fell in love with his Nell personality. She was heartbroken to find out that Sam was a gay guy, not a trans girlfriend. She is the one who put Sam and me together when Sam ran off to Thailand. She still sends us Christmas cards and we get together every now and then when she is down from the Yukon’s.”

“Sam, what the hell does she do up in the Yukon’s?” Poppy asked.

Smiling, Sam speaking in a fake Russian accent, “She and her boss Boris, chase moose and squirrel, that’s what. Now back to work.”
 

Green Fairy Dreams

My dreams were jumbled and a bit weird. The dream I remember was a debate between the two sides of my selves. This is an old cold war buried very deeply. This time though, it was very funny. There was my conservative self-speaking in Shakespearean verse, all stilted and formal in a pentatonic verse. Then there was my goofy free loving hippie self and she was battering back in free verse. “Fer Sure”. The two juxtaposed, were hysterical to hear, and spotlighted just how torn I was over the situation. Wow, I need to find out just what was in those drinks last night to give me such vivid dreams.

I was able to pry myself out of my bed and into the shower around 11:30 a.m. I had to let the fancy showerhead pound me back to life with its 100,000 pulsating massaging streams. After about 15 minutes, I became pro-too human but capable of speech.

My home phone started ringing while I was in the shower. I got out in time to answer and I saw that Ma Ma Cat was calling, which put me in a good mood. A spontaneous funny bone response came out when I answered. I said in a monotone:

“City morgue, you kill them, we chill them, you stab them, we slab them, stiffly speaking.”

Sam cracked up making all the funny sounds he makes when he finds something super funny. “Michele”, as he started to recover a bit, “O God, Michele, I wanted to see if you are all right after last night.”

Michele replied to Sam, “Ma Ma Cat, I am a bit blank about last night so let’s not go there. And I don’t want any regalement about how funny I was to be singing at a bar. Especially from the skunk whose idea it was to go there and whose wife got me plowed enough to howl in public.”

“Michele, you howled beautifully last night. The crowd voted you the best and what is more important is Seala knows talent when she sees it, and you got talent kid.” To that, I groaned loudly enough to get Sam to laugh again. “Michele my lass, get some coffee, eat something simple like toast. You need some time to wake up. Then go and see your performance on Poppy’s Facebook page. That will bring it all back. TTFN.” My first thought after he hung up was ‘another fine mess I got myself into.’

My automatic coffee maker dutifully made me a pot of coffee, which drew me into the kitchen. The coffee was dark enough to be tar sand, so it had to be Poppy that made it. I drank it anyway.
 

The Plot Thickens

By 10:30 a.m., Poppy was getting Betty, Jessa, and Elena their coffee at a local coffee internet Café as they chatted about Michele’s lack of birthday celebrations.

“Who can forget their birthday?” rang out from Betty and Elena, who often spoke at the same time saying nearly the same thing. Both Poppy and Jessa were quiet for a moment, setting the mood to somber. Poppy started to explain:

“None of us know the total story except Ma Ma Cat. But from what we know, a real tragedy uprooted Michele’s family. After living in some sort of religious prison camp, Michele returned to the States when she was 17, and forced to fend for herself with little to no contact with her parents who remained out of country in protective custody. That was twenty-four years ago. Someone has blocked Michele from going back to the States under some agreement. Michele was forced to sign with the State Department forcing her to live outside of the U.S., so her parents could come back home to the U.S. for medical treatment. It’s voluntary, getting around their Constitutional rights. And it is legally binding until the State Department changes its mind.”

Jacklyn continued, “Her father died five years ago and was buried by the Franciscans, the Catholic order the family worked for doing missionary work. A different order that has custody of Michele’s mother would not let her go to the funeral, claiming they were protecting her health. Michele could not get even a mercy passport to be there, due to National Security Issues not disclosed bullshit. Michele’s mother seldom gets to talk to her over the phone and her calls are monitored by the clergy.”

“Long story short of this, Michele was never able to get passed lousing about her parents whom she loves immensely. The family always made a big thing out of every ones birthday. So when they separated Michele stopped celebrating her birthday. It has been so long, she appears to have forgotten how to, and she gets all stiff and sharp with everyone around this time of year.

Ya, Elena piped in, she went all ‘Major Houlihan’ on Mary last week for something small. So when Mary saw Michele smiling and humming to herself, she told me, “Margaret must have gotten laid.”

Poppy laughed so hard, coffee came out of her nose, and Jessa was patting Poppy on her back trying to help. There was knowing glances between the people at the table leaving much unsaid.

Elena continued, “I never knew Michele was so talented and funny to be around when she lets her hair down. Who could have known that personality was buried under her work personality?”

“Elena”, Poppy cut in, “you need to know Michele first started medical training in a war zone when she was 11. Her family worked as missionaries and Narc-O-Lords, and then rebels were attacking the area they worked in. Her family was always being caught in the middle, and had to help the ‘Doctor’s Without Borders’ to save lives. This type of stuff was a normal part of their people’s lives, so Michele as she grew up became a sort of medic out of necessity.”

“Wow, it’s good to know that about her! That explains a lot of why she is so intense about things. She must be a classic text book PTSD customer.” Betty stammered.

“Betty, let me be blunt,” Jacklyn spoke. “PTSD revolves around an event or a closely group of events. Michele’s life was in a combat zone. Her family could not escape because of poly-ticks. They started in Belize, but could not leave, so they kept moving south and deeper into the mountains, until they ended up in Peru back in the middle of nowhere. In that area, they became a bit of a legend in there, continuing support of the peaceful locals. Michele’s God Parents were local Inca medicine people who stayed with the family from Belize to Peru. Then Michele and her parents were rendition to Brazil for their protection.” Jacklyn continued. “When she was returned to the U.S.A., she was able to get into a fast track high school program, gaining a lot of momentum before she went into trauma nursing as a specialist. She graduated when she was 23. She worked as a nurse for a couple of years when the deal was cut to get her parents back into the States, forcing her to move to Canada. Here she met Samuel and Danny who sort of adopted her while she was retraining to work with the Canada medical system. Poppy met her about the same time, as she was becoming a RN after being a LPN in the States. I met Michele when Samuel and Michele, then Poppy hired in here about 7 years ago. Wasn’t it Poppy?

Poppy answered, “About that time for me I think. Michele and Ma Ma Cat have been here for at least 8 years and change. Adding, Michele is tough and by the book for a reason, it saves lives. Death is her nemesis, and I personally know of at least 8 patients that she shepherded back to life from the valley of death. That is only part of the reason all of us are doing what we are doing to help her. She has given so much of her life saving other people, now it is time for her to be helped by other people”. Of anyone we know Poppy gestured to Jacklyn, “she has earned that right. She deserves your respect as well girls,” Poppy stated at Betty and Elena, “and you can take that to the bank.”

There was a chiming of Poppy's phone signaling that they needed to get on the road.

There were a few things to gather before they needed to be in position.
 

Enter Stage Left
[Michele]

I was finishing my toast and third cup of coffee when at 1 p.m. sharp, at my door, arose such a clatter I sprung from my spot to see what is the matter. Then what to my wondering bloodshot eyes did appear, four clamoring workmates who were not very clear. God, what was in those drinks!

Three of them blurted out at once, so all I heard was loud gibberish. The best I could manage was a blank stare of incomprehension. I yelled, then winced at the volume of my own voice,

“Quiet you guys!! Why do you insist to ruin my perfectly good hangover? If you will promise to be QUIET, I will let you in.”

Jacklyn came up behind the three stooges, calm as usual, musing, “Never send the cheerleaders in to wake up the dead, as the perky makes the deceased cranky.”

I said, “Jacklyn, you are always the voice of reason amidst your pack. Now I need someone to please tell me why you’re all here.”

Interrupting, Poppy jumped in, “We are here to help you celebrate your success on YouTube. Your and Seala video, has gotten a lot of hits and positive comments since last night.”

While Poppy was booting up my edutainment system, Jacklyn and Betty looked around my condominium.

Betty asked, “Michele, are we on Paradise Island, and where is wonder woman? The fountain by the door, the gossamer curtains, is this your Fortress of Solitude?”

“Betty, yes it is. But part of this is the original decoration done by my Aunt, the first owner of Casa Del Solitude. Aunt Clara had a thing for the classic Greek female goddess thing.”

“I moved here from the States to take care of her for the last five years she was alive.”

After I can get my poop in a group, I will give you the $2 tour.”

Within moments, I was watching a video of Seala and my entire performance, all in 58-inch super high definition. Someone made a video mosaic from Poppy’s I pad, and several other people’s cell phone, and Tablet’s uploads. This gave the effect of different camera angles, capturing our showmanship and adding a pro touch. From what I could see, both of us had solid outing. Seala’s being smoky and sophisticated, complementing my emotional and edgy. The combined effect created an excellent ensemble act. We did together what was not achievable alone. Even as strangers we were able to in a flash, create an electrifying audience pleasing performance.

Because I was on stage wrapped up in the totality of the formula, I did not notice the individual reactions until I witnessed them now. Reaction to Seala’s performance was tempered by the fascination with me being both new and good! I was embarrassed and confused by what I had just seen, the video brought back all of the memories and sensations I felt during the performance. I could feel my voice in my chest reacting to each pulse of the songs, and every emotion I was expressing. I was lost as to what to say at the end of the show. The entire video was almost an hour long, including both of our solo performances, the duets, the effects, comments, and embellishments.

I felt my face blush so badly, it felt like a torch. But honestly, I had to admit, it was a good show. By the way we worked the stage, both of us looked liked a hot Vegas act. Seala was smooth, and provokingly sexy. I was a fire burning up the stage.

“See Michele, we were not pulling your leg or teasing you last night. The two of you were fantastic, not just good.”

That unexpected voice whispered in my ear caused me to yelp and jump. There stood Sam and Seala who had slipped in when I was fascinated by the video. Both were grinning and giggling to themselves. Sam was the only one who could do this to me. I hated it when he does that.

“Ma Ma Cat, you goof, you’re the only one who can do that, and it bugs the shit out of me.

“Yes, Wolfness, Yes I am, and I am your big brother, so it’s my job to keep you honestly on your toes.”

Seala looked at me with amused eyes, “is it always like this between the two of you?”

We both answered yes at the same time, Seala just laughed.

“I think this is going to be a strange or wonderful relationship. I need to know which one of you is strange and which one is wonderful.” Everyone laughed at that.

By now, my stomach started to rumble asking for more food than the toast provided and it already moved on. “Haay guys, anyone else hungry? I need a refill of coffee and food, a lot of both.” I started to get up to pull something together in the kitchen when Jacklyn who had a fresh cup of coffee and a bear claw intercepted me.

“You need to be showing your studio. We will take care of brunch for you.” Sam said.

Just then there was a very loud noise from my kitchen followed by Sam saying, “sorry my bad.”

I yelled, “Sam, that better not be my omelet pan.”

Seala asked me, “What’s happening, has everyone gone south in their head?”

“Yes, yes, they have my friend.”

“Michele, let these kooks do their thing, while you be my tour guide to your place.”
 

Forging A Dream

A moment later, we were in my studio. My condominium was a conversion of an old Victorian mansion, and my top floor unit was the quirky one, using the strangely shaped areas on the third floor and some of the parts of the fourth floor unfinished attic. So, I have an odd floor plan allowing me to use space creatively. My studio was in the attic, which had an unfinished walk in closet I use for my isolation room. I had a few odd instruments, some of them antique. I also have an oddball collection of equipment on various racks lining the walls, showing off a motley patchwork of home brew and modified consumer components.

Seala looking around bemused, examining my Foley stage, and the oddball collection of microphones, that I purchased over the years. I even have an old broadcast microphone from the 1920’s, the type Orson Welles used to perform the ‘War of the Worlds’.

Pointing at that one, Seala asked, “Is that what I think it is?”

“Yep, it was one of the first ones I got while I lived down south as a kid. I was about 11 when an old radio station had upgraded their setups, so they did not need the old relic they had in the closet. Thank goodness, they had the equalizing box and power supply. When I helped them clean out the closet the manager gave it to me with some other equipment as payment for helping him clean up the station.”

Seala asked, “Why would you want this? They had a weird sound to them. You can’t use them for modern singing or anything.”

“Haay girl, I use it for my Foley work and for the voice over effects when I make audio books for the blind. Their hearing is so much sharper, so the different frequency response adds to the color and mood of the work. One time, this old timer emailed me telling me the exact model number and series that my different equipment was.”

“Michele, this is your toy room, where you let yourself play and have fun. Good grief, some of this stuff had to cost a bundle when it was new.”

“Yes, it is my adult sandbox where I play and have fun. None of this cost much, all of it was cheap. I found things at flea markets, people’s attics, wherever I find them. I had to repair a lot of them. I learned that from my dad, who was a ham radio sparky. To be honest, I don’t have too much cash invested in it. Most of this I pulled together in college when I was in the drama club. They needed people to do tech work and I was interested. My parents were Franciscan Missionaries, so we were poor. I was working my way through school and had less money. I love sound and I was not going to let that stop me from having my tunes. This was a way I could afford my passion, and it is different enough from nursing that doing this allows me to unwind.”

Seala responded, “Samuel is right, you are a multifaceted personality. I have an engineer who would love to see this, wow; you must have so much vintage stuff here. However, when I look around here, I see a lot of effort pointed out ward. What do you do for your inner self?”

Arching my eyebrows, I gestured to my sound booth, “well, let me show you.”

Walking over to the console, I powered things up and called up the latest set up on my computer. “This is my latest project I am trying to become proficient at.” I went into my booth and got comfortably in position, then cued the start up sequence, and enabled the studio monitors. The start up sequence allows me time to warm up my voice before the real work begins. Seala took a stool from the other room and got comfortable.

Cueing the song, I nailed the first phrase sweetly on the mark. I know the song it is mine. I know how I wanted it to sound, but even more important; I felt the meaning of the words. They move me and that is what came out.
 
 
Faith of the Heart Lyrics
Rod Stewart
 
It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near

And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way

And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me back

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart

It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day
And I will see my dreams come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No there not gonna change my mind

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
Faith of the heart

I've known a wind so cold and seen the darkest days
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain
But I'll be fine

Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me

I can reach any star
I've got faith

I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart

It's been a long road
 
 
I was smiling, but with a tear in my eye from the emotions, the song brings out from my soul. Seala was soundlessly applauding from outside my booth. Coming out, she simply walked up to me and embraced me with a big hug.

“My friend, you gave me such a gift just now! I love the way you can let loose, and put out into the air around you that emotion you are feeling through the song. It is not just a good song, you transmit your emotions through that song, honestly, only a few artists can reach for, fewer get it, and you got it. Wow! Tell me why you did not believe you can sing, and why it has taken you so long to go out and play?”

Answering from the door to the studio, Poppy’s voice interjected, “Because she is scared of being made fun of, or being laughed at. When she sings like that it is so wonderful to hear, but that is when she is completely emotionally vulnerable, and fragile. This has been a secret hideaway from the cruel world for her. The one place she allows herself to let go. But it is still a cage, one that prevents her from sharing this great gift. I never once doubted that she has great talent. I am worried for her. Does she have the strength to stand up to the scrutiny by the rest of the public? The type of inquiring minds who want to know, pursue gifted people with.”

Swifter than I could follow, Sam poked his head in the door and in a June Cleaver voice informed us, “Foods on kids, let’s eat now. Go wash your hands and face. You can play more after you eat.”

I was lucky my face was away from everyone because I was mortified by both Poppy’s bluntness, and Seala’s complements. My head was swimming trying to grapple with the idea that I had what it took to be a performer. I shut the major equipment down, quieted the lights, and then went out with the others.
 

Surprise

Coming into the living room, I was shocked to find a crowd had gathered. All cheered when I came into the room. There had to be another fourteen people in my living room all cheering my entrance. Samuel walking into the center of the room pulled out a pitch pipe, and then with a flourish, cued up Happy Birthday.

I was puzzled, but deeply moved. There were no strangers here. I knew everyone, but the singing Happy Birthday, what was that about? Betty, from Human Resources, was the first to come up to me and give me a hug.

“Michele sugar, you were not going to dodge us another year. You have given us the slip for five years, so this one was the charm.”

“Betty, what is going on?”

Danny walked up gently, placing her hand on my shoulder softly speaking, “My darling Michele, we want you to remember this day for the rest of your life. One, today you turn 34. Two, this is the year you find out that people like and need you, my little hermit. You keep avoiding your own birthday, so we wanted to prank you into a celebration. You entirely forgot this year, so for a change, we trapped you into having some fun with us.

Betty continued, “Michele, you are too good of a person to be hiding away so much girl, and I, for one want to celebrate your birthday with you this year.”

Kitty, the sweet Jamaican woman from the kitchen turned me around announcing that “Brunch was on, get it while it is hot.” There in front of me, was a portable serving line like the one used for board of director meetings. It had a large variety of food, more than enough to feed all 20 plus of us. This was a potluck brunch, so we had a little of everything. All of it was delicious. My head was truly spinning, but I was also very happy. Everyone oinked out.

An hour later, the debris gathered and removed, it was time for presents. Kitty knitted for me a pair of sleep socks plus a sleep hat all in the Jamaican National colors. Betty knowing my liking of eccentric knee socks gave me several pairs of interesting colors, some with separate toes. Seala gave me several Fake books used by performers to learn new music and lyrics, and a year’s membership as an apprentice in the local performers union. Sam and Danny gave me a beautiful Navaho silver bracelet and Squash blossom of red coral, turquoise, and jet, they were truly magnificent pieces,

Mary gifted me a box of homemade candy. Jacklyn gave me a beautiful wolf scarf and a wolf headscarf ring made out of bone. Elena and Beth got me a Hudson Bay blanket. The rest of the guests came with various gifts. All of them precious, from the simple cookies to the gift cards for coffee. There was some Navaho pottery, a beautiful Alpaca sweater, several nice but old scarves, and a Kweo wolf Kachina from Hopi country.

I haven’t had a birthday party since I was a kid living with my parents. We were living in Peru at the time, when on my 17th birthday, a Jesuit Cardinal came with Peruvian Federal troops. Then we were for our own protection put into protective internment in Brazil. What they told my parents, it was because the local Narc-O Lords were threatening to kill us, and so the church hid us. There was no celebration that year, and no celebration since then. I had no reason to celebrate. Maybe I should rethink this, I am under the impression that was then and this is now.

Today became a lot of fun for everyone involved. The chocolate cake was three layers and had chocolate ganache between each layer and you guessed it, chocolate icing. The ice cream was fudge ripple. Death by chocolate was used as a weapon of mass distraction, but what a way to go.
 

Reality What A Concept

I wandered about until the food and the cake wore me down enough to make me land on the couch for some R and R from the party. Danny was milling about, talking to the guests. Finally, she worked her way up to me. She has this sexy walk like a cat on the hunt. I love how she moves and for years, I have been learning from her. Next to Poppy, I consider her my best friend. Sitting next to me on the couch giving me a hug “Happy Birthday love, I hope you are enjoying yourself.”

“Yes, yes, I am. I think this has been the most fun I have had on my birthday since I was a kid.”

“Michele, I have known you for over six years and there is still so much I don’t know. There is so much to learn about you, but I do love to see you smile you don’t smile often enough. Both Sam and I love you to pieces and want to see you find happiness. And this she gestures around her is our little attempt to boost your opinion of yourself. And try to teach you the importance of your own happiness. YOU need to see your happiness as being important and work for it. Being selfless is not always right or the only thing you have to offer the world. And being selfish is not always wrong. You need to get off the fence you have been sitting on. Then move through your transition into being who you desire to be sweetie. That alone will clear up a lot of issues you are having emotionally.”

I was rocked so far to gasp. “We never spoke about this before, why now? I thought it would be too personal and private.”

Danny answered, “I asked Sam to tell you years ago to talk to me. God, you’re a part of the family. Honestly, I am more like your big sister than a friend, so if we can’t have a girl talk who can. I know those hungry eyes of yours watch me walk and move. I am much honored you try to imitate some of my movements; it’s natural for a little sister to learn things from their big sister. But I am moving away from what I wanted to say. I feel you are still trying to make a decisive decision, but are too isolated from the rest of our community. You need to take advantage of advice from those who have gone before you. I think you need some friendly advice, as to how others see you and know you. You want a strictly unbiased opinion from someone you trust. Am I on target here, little sister?”

“Danny, yess, I would like to know your opinion about this, you have a broader understanding than me. And yes, I am very frightened, that I may be making an irreversible mistake by having SRS, and not being content with things as they are.”

“There, that wasn’t so hard? You can be focused when you are clear and open to a subject. I can answer your question very easily. I know it is supposed to be wrong to suggest to people to take this course, or the other. In this case, convention is wrong. In my humble opinion, you are so totally a female, and would never be content until you are.

“Michele baby, not everyone can be like me, this works for me. If I didn’t have Sam, I would have finished. But with that sweet man, I am content and so is he. But do not do as I do, do, as you need to do, for yourself. And for yourself, my judgment is that you are definitively all female. I have known you long enough to see this so clearly in you, but it is my opinion and Sam’s opinion and Poppy’s and Beth’s and Elena’s and Jacklyn’s, ETC, ETC, ETC!” Danny did a classic imitation of Yule Brenner from the King and I.

I was laughing very hard. “OK, I got it; it’s time to get myself right with myself. Well sister, I think we need to go and have coffee and do some shopping when you can, so I can get some more of your expert advice.”

“This is the beginning, Michele, we wanted to blast you off that fence you have been stuck on and give you some momentum towards finding your bliss. I will call you next week. I think you need a girly girl intensive this next month, so I will make some time available. But I need to get back to settling this party, remember your happiness.”

I moved to my recliner, and then the center of the action swarmed back to me. Friends who spared no hugs for me surrounded me. Whose sharing started to melt the cold spot inside of me. As the day wore on, I was feeling more content and happy. I had always found that scary because it usually meant I was missing something, but there was a difference this time. I felt I was moving fast enough to make it into orbit and not fall back down. It was a strange unsettling feeling, like I was weightless for the first time.”

There was Sam at my shoulder as if he magically became there. “The possibility of being successful is stressful, honey. You looked a little green around the gills there, so I thought it would be good to stabilize you.”

Sam stood grinning like a cat that got the bird. “You know me too well, Ma Ma Cat. Yes, I am scared, but of what I do not know?”

“Knowing you, I would say it’s possibly being noticed or standing out from your surroundings. You have been haunted by something for so long. I think even you have forgotten what it is. You act more like a wolf than you realize. You always shun the spotlight, never looking for credit for your accomplishments. Like a person who has been hunted by some malevolent force which will punish you if you are too successful. Like an invisible hand could hit you from behind out of nowhere.”

“Wow, was the only thing I could say.”

“Michele, I have to admit there is an unfair advantage here. One, I am a psy major. Two, I still have some friends in both low and high places whom I will not tell you about. They did some favors for me, by checking some things out. You can relax; no one is hunting you anymore. Your parents received the recognition for the good people they are. So fly and be free.”

Being slammed into a wall at 30 kph would have been easier than what Sam just told me. I know better than to ask how, but why did this happen in the first place, Mr. I have high friends in low places or whatever it was you just said?

“Michele, this world is a complicated and very dangerous place for innocent people because the bad guys try to look like the rest of you, Mistakes are made and until someone cleans up the loose ends, justice and truth get hung out to dry. I am sorry for what your parents and you were subjected to and I can’t get that back. But I can get your passport back and clear your family name, so you can put some of this behind you and let you go home, if you want.”

“Sam, this IS home, that WAS home. WAS is in the past. I could never live there again, too much past to get past. You are my family now and forever, I hugged Sam hard. Thank you for my freedom, it is going to take a little time to unlearn living the way I have been doing so for a long time. Just be patient with me for a bit longer. I want to thank you for being such a good friend, and for setting me up regardless where this goes.”

“Gee, don’t I feel like the old master in Kung Fu setting my student off on their life’s walk.” Sam said. “Just understand one thing in all seriousness. If you get a good offer and don’t take it, I will fire you; I can’t have a stupid person working for me, to much liability.”

“Sam, how can I leave on such a selfish lark like this, when I am making a difference saving lives? That’s the biggest purpose here.”

“Michele, I asked you last night about your life and saving that? If you won’t or can’t do that, how can I trust you with the lives of other people? Something you do not know about me is my time in Thailand. It was because I nearly dropped the ball on myself. I was too close to checking my self out permanently all over a temporary problem. Danny was the one who saved me. She was my wake up call, my Jamie. I need to tell you, tonight and last night was not a cheap trick to get you to have some fun but a necessary intervention, to put your little Ch o Ch o Train back on its track. You are too close to burning out or breaking down. Personnel had no choice but to give you some time off. Either that or my ethics would have forced me to let you go.”

I love Sam he is the best supervisor I ever had. He can be funny as a stand up comic, or as serious as a heart attack. But you always knew where you stand with him, and what was I ashamed to admit but he was correct. I was in sad shape emotionally and mentally.

“Michele darling, if I did not know you could do this, I would have done something else other than this. But I know, not just believe, if you got the right break that you would run with it all the way. I want total happiness for you and being a nurse was only one-step in getting there, now it is time for the next step in your climb.

“I need to get home sweetheart, unlike you I need to work Monday and Sunday is my crash day. Looking at me deeply in my eyes, Michele you’re worth it. Try to let your self appreciate how special you really are, and when you make it, remember us little people who helped along the way.”

“Sam, like I could ever forget you. That is like never.”

“Hell, kid you forgot your own birthday, oh that was my point.”

I was crying softly as Sam got up and hugged me like a huger snake hard! Biding Sam goodbye, who told me to stay put and think about what we talked about today.

It was late afternoon now, and there was a chill in the air, so I started up my fireplace and folded myself into my recliner. Allowing the party to wind around me as my mind was winding around what Danny and Sam had told me.

One by one, my group of unexpected friends came by and gave me a hug and a friendly goodbye. I thanked all of them for coming and making today so special. I was overwhelmed by the generosity of people that I, until today, only counted as casual acquaintances. I was seriously mistaken for being so reclusive thinking that no one would want to know me. It would seem that those who did know me, to my surprise, liked me, and saw me a good person. I am guessing I needed to start doing the same.
 

Wake Up Call

It is hard when you find that you have been fooling yourself for so many years. There is the grace that I did not know until today. What I had feared, but could not prove was a reality. It’s liberating knowing your old paranoia’s were real, but no longer a danger. It is especially empowering to also learn that you do not have cooties or some weird social deformation, just the fact your fear made you overly cautious. There are so many things to ponder, but that my biggest hurdle is not to ponder now. I need to right now stop worrying about the dental condition of a free horse, and just ride it out of town.

I can worry about the dust settling later, there are bigger issues to consider with my newly unearthed talent. I am not comfortable being so outstanding in a field any field. My preference would be to remain quietly within the edge of a tree line, out of sight of the public, But to use my talent, that is impossible except if I was the invisible woman. That is to freakish to contemplate. So out in the open, it has to be. I wonder if wolves are a tad agoraphobic. Crikey, my mind is overloaded for me to ask that question.
 

Fireside Chat

I attempted several times to help with the clean up but the remaining crew of Poppy, Jacklyn, and Seala told me to go and sit down. They even gave me a glass of nice Holiday Spice Wine from Pennsylvania Bucks County Vineyard. Poppy has family there and she uses her Aunts import license to get a case every year. Watching the fire, sipping my wine and draying about my future, I was amazed at how much my life had changed in a little less than forty-eight hours, the old person who I was can be no longer. My mother used to tell me that once a cucumber becomes a pickle it could never go back. She has some odd sayings. But this was a fitting quip, if there ever was one, for this situation. I was chuckling to myself when the three girls joined me with their own glass of wine. When asked about why I was so jolly, I had to tell them about my memory. We all got a kick out of my mother’s homespun humor, wisdom mix, easy to learn and impossible to get out of your head.

Poppy opened up the next round of inquisitive poking at my mind trying to sound me out as where I was in my process.

I was up front with my answer “My friend, I am trying to emotionally catch up with the physical changes in my life. Before you all start, I know this will take some time this time. And I will not be letting moss grow under my rolling stone. So, without further adieu, Seala, what do you need from me to enroll in your services in keeping this process moving right along?”

“Show up at my studio on Monday.” Then Seala looked with laughing eyes to Poppy. “Is she always like this with the bad jokes?”

“Only when she is very nervous or scared, my guess is that she is nearly out of her wits, and is trying to not lose it and hurl her stomach continence into yonder fireplace. Three bad puns in a row are a bit extrema, even for her.”

Seala asked me with concern in her voice “Michele sweetheart, what has you so nervous and worried?”

“Seala, I am not an out there personality. I have always been quiet, plus a bit of a social recluse. This new situation is so out of my control, it shakes my confidence in being able to emotionally handle it, without becoming a total mess then falling apart. That would be wasting your time, money, and effort. I would then die of embarrassment.”

Poppy put her hand on my arm, “I will never let that happen to you girl. You are not going into this alone and without help. We will all help you take this slowly and build up your tolerance to all of the new things. It is not an all or nothing all at once event, but a process of growing, shedding old skin, then growing again.”

Seala continued, “I have shepherded far less talented people than you into public lives. You will have good days and bad days, but from what I saw upstairs in your studio plus last night, there will be very little that you will not be able to handle with the proper education, then taking our time as things come along. I am your friend and I will not put your emotional or physical safety in jeopardy to make a buck. You are worth more than any physical value I could place. Besides, it is my time and money to waste. And you do not have a corner on the market for stupidity. None of us do.”

Jacklyn, who had been setting quietly until now, spoke up. “I want you to know I am from a theater and entertainment family. I have seen every screw up a person can manage. Most of those, No, make that nearly all of those mistakes, come from the ego growing faster than the talent, then they forget what was important. Those people burn out because they can’t deliver on what their ego demands of them. Crash goes their ego and their career. You do not have that type of ego. You know, with four footed sureness, just where you stand, and you have the rest of us willing to lose a leg to kick you in your pretentious tail, if you start getting to big for your furry britches, girlfriend.”

“Folks, I can not promise I will not become addicted to the fun and energy this work brings out in me. I am worried about being myself and staying that way, and not losing that which is the most important thing I have. My self-respect, honesty and honor, how do I keep all of this? That part feels like an impossible mystery.”

“Michele” Poppy interjected, “there is no mystery. And the solution is in being you. You already have all of that. Being your good self is what you are addicted to. Just loosening up enough to be you, and stop trying so hard. That’s why you have been so miserable. Listen, Michele, you are a fantastic, dedicated nurse. But until last night, you refused to be a living person as well. You became just a doing, just a nurse. Especially today, stop stressing over this, let’s all of us just have some fun Then let that fun get under your skin, let it seep into your insides, and feed that living person, not just the nurse, but all of you.”

“Your heart wolf girl is a wild thing that needs to fear less, run free and howl at the moon, not hiding away whimpering in fear. That will kill you faster than any mistake you could make trying to do what you were born to do. Stagnation is the death of the creative personality. You rot from the inside out and that is still change, just not a good or pleasant change.”

My grandfather always talked about not pushing the river, but allowing the path to open for you. “Ladies, I feel a song or so trying to get out, would you do me the honor of joining me in my play room for a couple of songs if your inhibitions allow.”

All of us scampered off to my studio where I started to set things up.

“Michele,” Seala asked, “won’t we wake up your neighbors?”

“Not a chance,” Michele replied, “this room is totally sound proof. Nothing gets in or out of the room sound wise. We can totally open up and scream if we want to. If you want to know, the sound insulation is from a jet aircraft salvage supplier that I am friends with, the floor, ceiling, and walls are isolated from the bones of the house by cork dampener pads.”

“Michele, are you some sort of sound engineer under that nurse uniform?”

As I told you, I worked with a local radio station in Peru when I was a kid. I swept the floors, but it sparked my curiosity and we had to work under some very primitive conditions, as the village was poor. When we moved to Peru, I got to be one of the Foley people, so I got to work in the studio. I remember one of my friends took me to some old caves where we recorded many different effects using the acoustics of the cave. Another field trip was to a festival where several of the local villages got together for some sort of old festival where they use a large Inca site to chant and sing using drums and Pan Pipes. One of the most intense experiences I ever had. There was at least six hundred or so people faced off towards each other in two equal groups across an open area that looked built or modified to create the acoustics of the area.

The Inca’s and the people who went before had such a way of living the land and using its features. My life changed that day, being in the focus of those two chanting, singing groups changed me some how. The interplay of rhythms and tonality created a sacred effect altering the minds of perception of reality and created visions among all of those present. We recorded those experiences and used it during one of our radio drams. It was like one of the old radio drams before TV. I did American children’s voices and occasionally did a woman’s voice. I still have a high fidelity copy of some of the shows

While I was running off with my mouth, Poppy was turning on and setting up the studio for us to play. The first title we did was warm up our voices. Seala helped us with some toning in harmonies. We actually got some Gregorian chanting in English. Then we played ‘What Do You Do with Maria’, from the Sound of Music. Then we did ‘America’ from West Side story. We all played with this being a campy number. Seala and Poppy did ‘Toto Africa’. Then we worked on ‘The Longest Time’ by Billy Joel. We had most of it fitted together, but we lacked the lower tones needed for a good Do Wop sound. Seala mentioned Charles, the baritone from the club.

“He is such a good sport and uses the club to have fun because his day job is so serious.”

“What does he do? I asked.

“He is an Opera singer and can not be seen performing ‘trash music’ by his fellow singers, so he plays with us, and they leave him alone. Everyone else has their own secret vice music; they just cannot appear professionally outside of the Opera company. So, he does our circuit.”

On my Foley stage, I had a small anvil, which Jacklyn started tapping. Then we all started doing ya ta da to the anvil chorus.

Beth and Elena both cracked up saying, “Anvil would be a great name for a heavy metal group.”

All of us fell out over that. Seala stopped mid-chuckle and was trying to come up with an alternative name riffing off Anvil saying, “Damn, it is on the tip of my tongue. It’s something like that but bigger.”

She looked at me with pleading eyes asking me to help. It suddenly came to me forcing its self out of my mouth at the same time Seala spoke with me A FORGE.

FORGE, the rest of the group looked at us a bit as if they did not get it.

I elaborated, “A forge is a place where metal is formed by melting, hammering, and bending it into shape. Like Valley Forge where the revolutionary war colonies made guns, cannons, and bayonets. But it can also describe where ideas get pounded out.”

Then Seala added, “Or where songs and music takes form and styles are hammered out.”

All at once, a sudden spark of inspiration gave me goose bumps.

“I stammered out, girls I think we may have just created something that is begging to be let out and played with, and by the Muses daughters of Zeus if you are with me or not, I gotta do this. For those of you with me, I give you FORGE.”

I stood at the center of our group with my hand up in the air. Seala walked up with confidence and joined me grasping my hand, then Poppy, Beth, Jacklyn, and Elena. All of us gathered like a group of knights with swords raised together, then on que, we all spoke, “ALL FOR ONE, ONE FOR ALL.”

My ‘total resolve’ birthed that night in the playroom. I remembered what the old man at the gathering in Peru told me. He knew that I changed under a full moon up in that lofty valley. He told me I would be tested harshly during the first part of my life preparing me for the time when I will know to act! At that time, his words and what happened that night would all come back to me, and then I will know that this is the time and I will find it necessary to focus every ounce of my passion, on the presented goals. Doing so, every force focused that night would be available for me to be able to grow and prosper.

These great people have done so much to bring me out of hibernation and back into the light, I was not going to let them down. I just hope they are ready for what they are going to get themselves tangled into, none of them knew me from the past when I was really unfettered, The time before I was banished from my parents, Then they were punished by their holder for every made up crime they accused me of. I became a different person then to try to get them out of Brazil and back into the U.S.A., where they stood a chance of some legal protection. Again, ‘that was then, this is now’. I needed to break out of the prison I put myself into.

It will be a while before Forge comes out into the open and some time before it becomes big enough to bother anyone. If we do become popular, then by that time we may be very hard to squash.

Tonight though, we shut down my studio and all had a couple of nightcaps talking about Forge and what ideas we had for it. I declared a slumber party, breaking out my inflatable bed and my guests kits from the two spare bedrooms. We talked into the wee hours of the morning, and then crashed genteelly, into a peaceful sleep.
 
 

SUNDAY - Forging the Forge

 

DEFINITIONS

 
forge 1 (fá´rj, frj)
n.
1. A furnace or hearth where metals are heated or wrought; a smithy.
2. A workshop where pig iron is transformed into wrought iron.
v. forged, forg ·ing, forg ·es
v.tr.
1.
a. To form (metal, for example) by heating in a forge and beating or hammering into shape.
b. To form (metal) by a mechanical or hydraulic press.
2. To give form or shape to, especially by means of careful effort: forge a treaty; forge a close relationship.

1. To work at a forge or smithy.

[Middle English, from Old French, from Vulgar Latin *faurga, from Latin fabrica, from faber, worker.]
 
Sketching out the dream

Dreams do exist, but in an ephemeral world, where there's only spirit.
To give them housing in this world
you need to create one.
out of your own blood, sweat, and tears.
 
Preliminary Mission Statement
Group forge what does it mean to be a member?
How does it work?

1] We are a Cooperative that allows many people to partake in the creation of music projects. This will be governed by fairness, honesty, AND Integrity

2] Precipitation by preference Some will front of the house and be seen on stage,
some back of the house working only in the studio.
All are a part of the Forge.

3] We will forge a musical scene that which acknowledges both the trials of living,
and uplift the spirit.

4] We are creators not destroyers.

5] One for all, All for one!
 
Core Front people
Michele and Seala
 
Core Additional Vocals
Poppy, Jacklyn, Beth, Elena
 
Guests
Others join as they wish, for whatever they wish to do to help.
 
 

SETTING

All eyes were on the video display in my living room as we added the definitions of what we expected to create by and through this group. Art was a strange thing, in that someone performing one form would be dissed or downgraded in another. Therefore, we decided to create code names like a group of comic book or mange superheroes. There is even talk of having our music videos performed in animation. Thus allowing a larger than life personality presented to the public. We would protect and shield our physical lives from the prying eyes of the rumormongers and soul thefts, giving us control that is more creative.

We also created a wolf pack model of seeing ourselves, again comic book like, but it is still a model to allow cooperation and organic organization of our little tribe of BFF. Seala and I were voted as Alpha’s and it was our job to hold us all together. Both of us had to agree to something before we would decide yes, if either was against something, we sat council. Everyone had an input when we sat council. And there needed to be consequences forged between the two Alphas or it remained vetoed. There was no dishonor to change your mind later. Then agreement would allow the forces of creation to be released. This system allowed a clear leadership but protected the individual interests to be respected.

While we were trying to decide how to govern ourselves, we considered Roberts Rules of Order as one idea. Then I told the story about a small mining town in Colorado. There needed to be a filing of papers with the government allowing the town to incorporate. The hang up came, when trying to decide just what to name the town. Because “some damn fool produced that book”, the process came to a stop while the "Parliamentary wrestling match" tried to produce a discussion. Finally, one day, after weeks of exasperating fighting, the book of minutes to the meetings was open up, finding a large mosquito entombed within its pages. It was finally agreed upon that Providence named the town Mosquito. Being women, we decided on the council method instead.

We had breakfast and put into our freshly minted charter those things necessary to start things up. We unanimously voted Seala as our agent and lead manager due to her experience. Her code name is ‘Auger, the truth teller’, mine is ‘Wolf-es, the pathfinder’. The rest of the girls would think about what they wanted to use as their handle when they could think of one.

There would be papers of incorporation drawn up then signed. We would probably be a private limited cooperative group. That is something Seala’s lawyer would need to work out.
 

Spiritual Guidance

My mind was made up when I raised my hand to speak. All eyes were now on me and that made me nervous, but I pressed on.

“Ladies, I would like to ask your indulgence for a moment.” Everyone was quiet. “I have a deeply personal belief which I have found to be very important when starting an endeavor, so please bear with me. Whenever starting such a big and important project, I found it necessary to seek some spiritual guidance and perhaps some blessings from someone trusted.”

“Two years ago, Ma Ma Cat and I did some outreach work with a local representative of the Salish people where we were greeted and treated like we were family. A local Salish elder woman ‘Sally Poor Bear’ became our friend and supporter. We worked with her arranging the set up of a children’s clinic and dental van to visit several smaller reserves of various nations related to the Salish Nation Councils. She helped us clear the way for the project to pass the local and government tests. I learned to trust her judgment and I wish to know if all of you would be OK with me calling her and asking help with what we are trying to create here. We are good at the physical end, and she is good with the spiritual end.”

Surprisingly everyone agreed that this was a good idea and wanted me to go forward and call her.
 

The Gentle Voice of Spirit

I did a video conference with Sally, sharing with her what we were doing. Sally was a woman’s black lodge elder of the wolf clan. She was impressed with our progress and the attempt to do it. All of us quietly accepted her suggestions. And when she suggested we form a woman's black lodge dedicated to music that would teach and uplift women in their struggles, all of us agreed requesting her to please shepherd us through the process. I asked Sally, “Please help us do this correctly. I do not want us seen as another rip-off of the culture. We want to truly continue things respectfully and be a part of it.”

“Michele, you have quite a bit of credit for what you and Sam have already done, and you’re recognized as skin to us because of your Blackfeet heritage. The fact you came to me today will go a long way in convincing the elder women to understand your motives. You understand the rules, we need time to consider things, but you have my blessings on the path you have started. Let me see what other forces we can gather from this end to help you.”
 

Best Foot Forward

All of us were grateful for her blessing and promised a free benefit concert provided if we ever got that far. To which Sally smiled, then grinned saying, “I will hold you to that.”

Betty looking a bit surprised wondering, “Is the universe trying to tell us something? We just made the decision to start a group and we already got our first booking.”

Poppy shrugged, “Girls that is something that only happens in action adventure movies and in story board postings, not in real life!”

We all had to chuckle at that one. I added, “I think we are about to try and prove that wrong, and limits like that are made to be broken, and we are fixing to do just that.”

It was as if the Gods or the fates had placed their will into motion. We had been supplied with a hearty band of adventures, the correct circumstances, even the heavens have aligned. All the forces of the universe were making our path very clear.

So what could I say to the Gods of creation? Yesss, yes I want More Please. I just hope I am strong enough to survive my blessing. Now I need to get ready for The Climb...
 

~o~O~o~
 
End of Shift Happens Part 2 - More Please
 
 
 
Next: Shift Happens Part 3 - The Climb
 
 
ps:
 
The Climb Lyrics
Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most yeah
just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on,cause

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, woah
 

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