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Alright, cue the "voice over guy." |
I showed up at the IRL test in Homestead not really knowing what to expect. I found Chip and Jess and they introduced me to the rest of the team. The thing that caught my attention first was that all the guys working on the car were engineers. In the other forms of racing I’ve worked in, there was one engineer and the rest of the guys were mechanics. I started wondering what I had just gotten myself into. I know I have a mechanical engineering degree myself with a minor in aerodynamics, but as I started picking the brains of some of the guys, I learned that most of them had their masters in engineering, where I just have my BAS, (Bachelors of Applied Science.) This didn’t worry me as much as the fact that they were all using computers to make the decisions on what to do to the car. I usually just go off my notes from past races at different tracks for an idea of what works and doesn’t.
The track at Homestead is a high banked fast oval, and since we ran there with the cup cars I had an idea of what the track would do when the sun when down. Jess went out for some easy warm up laps, then started picking up the pace. The first thing I noticed about the attitude of the car was that it looked like it was “dirt tracking,” or sliding sideways like a drift car in the turns.
“How’s it feel out there Jess?”
“Her ass is all over the place Toni! I can’t drive this piece of crap.”
“Ok, bring it in.”
She brought it in and I found out she was having a problem getting it to turn in at the entry to the corner, then from the middle out it was loose as all hell. I grabbed one of the engineers and told him what I wanted.
“James, take 5 degrees out of the rear spoiler, and a full turn out of the right rear shock. Then a half turn out of the rear sway bar.”
“What are you nuts? That will never work."
“We tried it your way, and that didn’t work. Now it’s my turn. Either YOU make the changes to the car, or I make the changes to the car. And I assure you that if I do it, I’ll make sure Chip knows we don’t need you around. Got me college boy?”
I hated being this way, but he was testing me, and my patients. I had a similar problem when I started with RCR, some of the guys there resented taking orders from a woman, but I soon changed their minds when we started showing results on the track. James ended up doing my changes to the car and we sent Jess back out for another run. She set fast time for the session and came in raving about how she loved the feel of the car. James and the tire engineer came over to me after they finished their down loads of the car and were shocked.
“We’ve never had tire temps that low before, and the right rear is hardly showing any wear.”
“I kind of figured that would be the case. You guys had some things on the car that it just didn’t like. But don’t worry, we’ll get there. I saw some things I want to try tomorrow. So be here bright and early.”
I found Jess and Chip in the hauler. Chip asked me what I did to make the car so fast.
“Last year that car was out to lunch. What on earth did you do?”
“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” I said laughing. “It was just some minor tweaks. Nothing major. But to listen to some of your so called engineers you’d have thought I wanted to put the engine back in the front of the car.”
“Well I see we have some work to do on attitudes.”
“Just let the race results do that Chip." I told him holding my hand up to signal him to stop. "The biggest morale booster is a race win. Right Jess?”
“Keep giving me cars like that and I’ll give you more wins then you can handle.”
Jess and I were both beat after a full day of testing so we picked up some fast food on the way back to the hotel. We sat there and watched the lights of the city as we just ate our food and then went to bed. I woke up the next morning to the phone signaling our wake up call, and like it usually is when we’re in the same bed, Jess had her arm draped over me and was snuggling tight to me. She looked like she was having that bad dream again, so I tried to wake her.
“Jess, come on hun, wake up.” I said as I gently shook her.
“Huh? What? Oh wow, Toni. I was having that damn nightmare again.”
“I’ve been having one myself hun. What was your’s about?”
“Well, the bad part was when I was driving at INDY...”
“And you launched over someone’s wheel? Then hit the wall?” I asked, cutting her off.
She was shocked. “Well you usually wake me up just before I hit, but yeah, that’s the one. How did you know?”
“I’ve been having the same dream.”
She just smiled, gave me a hug and we both got ready for the track. Once there I instructed the crew of the changes I wanted to try. They made them and I told Jess what she could expect from the car. She went out and took it easy for a couple laps to let the tires get some heat in them, then she started cranking off laps that blistered the track record. She came in and was all grins as she climbed out of the car, raving about how well it drove. If she hadn’t seen the scoring tower with her number at the top she said she would have thought the car was slow, from how well it handled. We left the team to pack up the car, since we’d gone as fast as we could, while Jess and I went back to the hauler so she could change.
“So are you going to do it?”
“Do what Jess?”
“Be my crew chief? I know I wouldn’t have been that fast if it weren’t for you.”
“Wow, you’re gonna make me blush.”
“I’m serious. You saw how much of a dirt tracking dog that thing was in the first session. I need you Toni.” she told me with a Cheshire cat grin on her face.
“Well if you put it that way? How can I say no? And don’t look at me like that. Brit always did that when she had some hidden double meaning to what she was saying.”
“Who do you think she got it from silly?” she asked me as she unzipped her drivers suit and I saw as she pulled it off that she had nothing on under it.
“What the hell are you thinking? Where’s your nomex underwear?”
“I didn’t put it on. I wanted to surprise you.”
“Shock is more like it. Are you nuts?" I spat back at her. "You know better then to not put those on when you’re driving a car that burns alcohol. You could have caught fire and we’d never had been able to see it.”
She moved closer to me and hugged me. “I’m glad you care, but I did this so I could try to persuade you to join the team.” she said as she kissed my lips.
I was shocked. I didn’t know how to react. She was a good friend, and we HAVE become close over the past year since Brit’s death, but was I ready for this? My body didn’t let my mind get a word in as I relished in the touch of another woman for the first time in a year. It felt so right. I couldn’t fight it if I had wanted to. My mind was screaming for me to stop, but my body didn’t listen, as I put my arms around her and held her close. We stood there like that for what seemed like a lifetime and finally when we broke off the kiss I got a little light headed, so I sat down as she finished changing.
Chip came in just as the guys finished loading the car into the hauler, and was happy as a pig in slop that we’d set fast time for the session again, and had a new track record in our pocket.
“So Toni, I see you adapted quite well to these cars.”
“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be Chip. You were right, it’s basically the same things as before.”
“So I have my crew chief then?”
I nodded and we shook hands. He told me that he had to pay for dinner that night since he’d lost the wager he and Jess had made. Apparently he didn’t think it would be this easy to get me to sign on.
“I can’t let my good friend here drive for you without someone who knows what is going on with the car. Those monkeys you had set that thing up could have gotten her killed.”
He laughed and Jess hugged me, as we left for the hotel. We met Chip in the lobby and he took us to the Hard Rock in Miami for dinner. Cool place, I’d never been to one, and we were in luck since they were having The Dropkick Murphys play live that night. ( I swear to you dear reader that as god as my witness I will get back at Chip and Jess for what they did.)
The Murphys were in the middle of their set when they announced that we were in the audience. A spot light shown on our table when Ken Casey, the bassist and singer, called for me to come up on stage. Jess had mentioned to Chip that I was always playing their cd’s and singing along with the songs, so he set it up with the bands manager to let me sing with them on stage. I kept shaking my head and saying no even as Ken and Al Barr, the other singer, took me by the arm and drug me up with them.
“What song do you want to do Toni?”
“Uh.. No. There is no way I’m going to be able to sing with you. I can’t.”
“Well it’ll look pretty silly for you to just stand on the stage and not do anything. How about we do ‘The Dirty Glass?’ You know the part Stephany has been doing?”
“There is no way I can pull that off. She’s great. I just sing in the shower and the car.”
“Come on give it a try.”
Ken announced to the crowd that we’d be doing “The Dirty Glass,” as he handed me a mic. The band went in to the intro of the song and I belted it out as best I could.
"Murphy, Murphy, darling dear.
I long for you now, night and day.
Your pain was my pleasure,
your sorrow my joy.
I feel now I've lost you to health and good cheer."
I somehow managed to make it through that song without losing the dinner I’d just eaten, and we got a standing ovation from the audience. They asked me to sing another song with them. So I said lets do "Spicey McHaggis Jig.” That was mistake number 1, mistake number 2 was not running for the hills when they told me I had to sing lead if I wanted them to play it. Don’t get me wrong, as a man I did that song many times a karaoke, but as a woman I didn’t know if I had the voice to pull it off. I’ve been told that my voice sounds something like a cross between Gwen Steffani, and Nelly Furtado. Before I could make a break for it, the band started the song, so I had to at least give it a try.
“I'll tell you a story.
Believe me it's true.
A tail you best hope,
never happens to you.
Of Spicey McHaggis,
how he met his fate.
You I can save,
but for him it's too late!"
The crowd seemed to really enjoy it. The crowd singing with me actually relaxed me, so I poured more into it. When the song ended they all cheered and Ken kissed my cheek, as I walked off stage. Jess was standing there with her hair all a mess from head banging with the music, and I just shot her a look of total contempt.
“How could you do that to me?”
“Oh get over it. You said it yourself, it’s always been a dream to sing with The Murphys.”
“It’s a good thing I love you, or else I’d probably want to kill you.”
‘Oh my god, did I just tell her I loved her?' I asked myself as my inner monolog took over. 'Oh shit! I do, I do love her. This is all so fast. Does this mean I’m over Brit? No, but I do have deep feelings for Jess. Is that what Brit meant? Oh crap she’s moving in to kiss me. Calm down. It’s ok, just kiss her back.'
She pulled me tight and kissed me full on the lips. I didn’t stop her, in fact, I kissed her back. We broke off the kiss when Chip walked up and told us he’d see us at the shop by the end of the week. We stayed for the end of the show and then went back to the hotel. Jess turned on the TV as I went to use the bathroom. I heard her call for me, and I hurried to finish. I got there just as they were showing the show from that night on MTV2. The host was saying that if anyone had any info on how to contact me to call the studio, and they flashed the number on the screen.
“Why me... just when I was hoping I could just go on living my life in semi-obscurity, shit like this goes down. I knew I should have just thrown up on stage and gotten it over with.”
“You worry too much.”
“How can you say that. I never wanted to be famous. All I’ve ever wanted to do was work on race cars. Now, because of your's and Chip's stunt, MTV wants me, for only god know’s what.”
She put her arms around me and pulled me tight into a hug. We laid back onto the bed and cuddled for a while. My cell phone went off and I forced my way free of Jess’ grip to answer it.
“This is Toni.”
“Hey, it’s Chip. My son just called me and said you should turn on MTV2.”
“Seen it, and before you even ask the answer is no. Not only no, but HELL NO.”
“Then you’re going to be pissed that I already called them and gave them your cell number.”
“YOU WHAT!”
“Take it easy. They just want to interview you.”
“The music channel wants to talk to me, and you’re telling me to take it easy? I knew I should have bolted for the door when they called me to the stage.”
“Oh get over it. You have a good voice. Besides, they told me all they want to do is just talk to you about what you do.”
“Since when is MTV into racing?”
“I don’t know, but maybe you could talk them into putting some money into the team. Just talk to them tomorrow when they call. I’ll see you in a couple days at the shop.”
He hung up, and I started to shake. It was one of those shakes you get like when you were a kid and you are looking face-to-belt with the older brother of the kid you and your friends just kicked off the playground. (I told you I was an asshole as a male.) Jess saw I was shaken, and she put her arms around me and pulled me into her, like a mother would do her daughter.
“I’m sorry Toni, I never thought it would upset you so much. All Chip and I wanted to do was give you a present for helping me out on the car.”
“Yeah, it’s my fault too. I could have just said no.”
“But how could you have lived with yourself for passing up a chance to sing with The Dropkick Murphys?”
“I know. But it’s too late now to change that. Chip already gave them my cell number. MTV is going to be calling tomorrow, and they want to set up an interview. I just have the un-shakeable feeling this is going to end nothing but poorly.”
“Shhh, you’ll be fine. You’re a strong woman Hermes.”
She was the first person to call me Hermes since Brit. She always used to call me that when she wanted to be playful or when I was scared, and she wanted to remind me that as a man I was always up for a challenge. Had Brit told Jess this? Am I really being that paranoid?
We changed into our pj’s and cuddled as Jess drifted off to sleep. I, on the other hand, just laid there and stared at the ceiling wondering what MTV wanted with a 33 year old female mechanic. I don’t remember falling asleep, but when my cell went off around 8am, I realized I had actually slept some that night. Not as much as I would have liked, but I did get some sleep.
“Hello?”
“Is this Toni Trespasso?” (People are always doing that with my last name.)
“No, this is Toni TREPASSO. There’s no extra ‘s’.”
“Sorry miss. This is Suzanne Pak with MTV News. Do you have a couple minutes?”
“What time is it?”
“8am miss. Is this a bad time?”
“No, it’s no worse then it would be if you called later. Let’s get this over with. What does Chip want me to talk you into?”
“Um, Mr. Ganassi just gave us your number. I caught your set with The Murphys last night. I must say, I’m impressed. Where have you been singing?”
“My shower and my car. I’m not that good. Besides I’m just a mechanic.”
“Just a mechanic who lead the first female driver in Nextel Cup history to win the championship. Now really, where do you sing? Local bars?”
“I used to sing at a local karaoke bar, but nothing professional.”
“Wow, I have to tell you Ms. Trepasso, you are wasting your talent by not sharing it with the world.”
“I’m a mechanic Suzanne. And please, call me Toni.”
“Ok, Toni, would you be willing to come to our studio’s and talk to one of our VJ’s?”
“That all depends. What would I be talking about?”
“We’d love to talk to you about what you do.”
“You mean the old ‘what’s it like to be a woman in a man’s field?’ bullshit?”
“Well, yeah, basically. Many of our viewers watch racing too, and since our audience is mainly girls between the ages of 15-25, we feel it would be good for them to see what you've been able to do.”
“Ok, who would be doing the interview?”
“Well if it’s alright with you, I’d be honored to speak with you more.”
“Ok. When do you want me.” I sighed, knowing I was going to have to do this or be labeled a bitch by the media.
“How about tomorrow? We can have the promo’s up by noon saying you’ll be here for TRL.”
“Ok, but I’m not introducing any of that bubble gum pop BS. Any chance you can get them to do an all rock show?”
“That can be arranged. We can even let you pick the videos if you want.”
“Just book my flight out of Miami, and I’ll be there.”
“See you tomorrow Toni.”
“Oh, Suzanne, one more thing. I’ll need 2 seats on the plane.”
“Oh? Is Jessica coming with you?”
“If she knows what’s good for her she will.” I laughed as I hung up the phone and shook Jess awake.
“Huh? What time is it Toni?”
“8:30 am. I just got off the phone with MTV. We’re going there tomorrow.”
“We? What’s this ‘we’ pale face?”
“Cut the crap. You got me into this, you’re coming with me.”
“Ok, if you put it that way. I don’t want to piss off my crew chief.”
“Not if you want to win any time soon.” I laughed as she hugged me.
We spent the rest of the day shopping on South Beach, and just enjoying the sights of a day off in Miami. It was kind of fun to watch heads turn everywhere we went. Maybe I forgot to mention it earlier, but even as big as I am, I feel flat-chested next to Jess. (Remember I did tell you that Brit and I had the same taste in women.) Every shop we went to, the sales clerks couldn’t help but stare at the cleavage bulging out of both our bikini tops. Lucky for both of us that either no one recognized the two of us, or there are just so many famous people hanging out in South Beach that no one really cares anymore, so we weren’t inundated with requests for autographs. The only one was from a couple on vacation sitting at the next table at a little café we had lunch at. She had on one of Jess’ NASCAR shirts. She was using it as a cover up, not wanting to get burned from sitting in the sun at the café. Jess signed the shirt and posed for a picture with the woman as her husband took the shot. We made it back to the hotel just after dark and both got packed for the trip to New York City.
The flight was pretty un-eventful other then me shaking like a leaf the closer we got to JFK airport. Jess noticed my nervousness and took my hand.
“What’s wrong?”
“What if they ask me to sing again? It was one thing to do it after I had a couple drinks in me at the show, but this will be live TV.”
“You’ll do fine, just relax.”
“Easy for you to say. I’ve heard you sing.”
“So I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” she said sticking her tongue out at me. “You have a great voice. You’ll do fine. Just pretend you’re back at Michelle’s singing for the crew at karaoke.”
“If you say so. I feel like I’m going to yack.”
“Just don’t blow chunks on stage. That would be embarrassing.”
“Thanks. THAT makes me feel better.”
She hugged me as we started our final descent, into New York’s JFK airport. There was a limo waiting for us to take us to the studio in Times Square. Once there I met Suzanne, the girl I spoke to the day before, and she took me to the control room so I could pick out the videos for that days show. She was shocked when I started picking mostly heavy rock and metal songs.
“I never would have put you as an Anthrax fan Toni.”
“Well they are from just outside Syracuse, so I have to support the local boys made good right?”
“Let’s see, Anthrax and Public Enemy, ‘Bring the Noise’, Primus, ‘My Name is Mud’, Metalica, ‘One’, Quiet Riot ‘Metal Health’ and Korn with Amy Lee, “Freak on a Leash”? Wow, you sure like the hard stuff Toni.”
“I can’t stand that watered down crap they cram down the kids throats these days. If you listen to the lyrics to those songs I picked, they say something. It’s not just ‘hey, look at me, I’m cute.”
“I know what you mean, I’m a fan of those bands too. But this station pushes what they think the kids want to hear.”
“That was the one thing that pissed me off when I was growing up. For a while there, it was alright, you played Korn, Limp Bizkit, and Metalica, but then Brittany Spears and those other tramps started corrupting the minds of our little girls. It’s bull shit. It has no soul.” as I started singing, “Hit me baby one more time. Ok, but this time I’m using a bigger hammer. Maybe that will shut you up.”
Sue laughed and took us to the dressing room so they could put some make-up on me and get me looking presentable for the camera’s.
The show started, and I was introduced. Suzanne said it would be a special addition of TRL and that the video’s were my favorites.
“Toni, why don’t you throw it to the first video.”
“Ok, here’s Solvay, New York’s own son’s Anthrax with their good friends Public Enemy. Bring the Noise.” I started head banging and my hair flying to and fro as I did.
When we came back from the video, we talked about me being Jessica’s crew chief and what it was like in the garage area with the majority of the people there being men.
“Well, they really treat us like their little sisters. Sometimes it’s annoying, but for the most part, if you can prove to them that you know what you are doing, they give you the respect you deserve.”
“Winning a championship in your rookie season in the Nextel Cup must have done that huh?”
“Well, I can’t take all the credit. I had one hell of a driver behind the wheel.”
“You’re talking about 2 time Champion Jessica Zimkin?”
“The one and only. In fact we work together so well that Chip Ganassi hired us to win the INDY 500 for him this year.”
“That’s a pretty big order to fill isn’t it? I mean there are a lot of good teams racing in that aren’t there?”
“Yes, but those other teams don’t have my secret weapon.”
“What’s that?”
“Well I’ll tell you what it is..." I leanded in to whisper, but still loud enough for the microphones to pick up. "but promise you won’t tell anyone.” I laughed. “It’s Jessica. With her driving, we can’t lose.”
We broke for commercial and came back with more videos. Suzanne asked me about how I felt music was going these days, and what I would do to change it.
“Well first of all, I’d strap every boy band and bubble gum pop princess to a rocket and shoot them to the sun," I said with a giggle, to try to calm the shocked little girls sitting in the audience. "No, just kidding, but I would make sure that the music actually said something more then, ‘oh, look at me, I’m cute. Buy my record.’ What ever happened to the days of bands writing about what they lived in their lives? Give me Hank Williams Junior or Kid Rock any day.”
“You bring up a good point, you said you feel Kid Rock. I’ve been told you can play some of his songs quite well, and that you could be talked into singing for us here.”
“Remind me to stop hanging out with Jessica.” I told her with a smirk.
“Well folks would you like to hear Toni sing for us?”
The audience cheered and Suzanne handed me a guitar. It was either sing, or throw up and make a fool out of my self. So I did what would be less embarrassing, and sat down on the edge of the stage with the acoustic 6 string in my hands, and started strumming the only tune I really knew.
“I’ve been sitting here.
Trying to find myself.
I need to get behind myself,
I need to rewind myself.
Looking for the pay back.
I listen for the play back.
They say every girl bleeds just like me.
I feel like number one,
even when I’m last in line.
I watch my youngest son.
It helps to pass the time.
I never took any pills, to ease the pain.
I made a bunch of dollar bills,
but I still act the same.
And everybody knows my name.
They yell it way out loud.
People like to fuss with me,
whenever I hang out in a crowd.
But I guess that’s the price you pay,
to be some big shot like I am.
With out stretched hands,
and one night stands,
still I can’t buy love.
And when your walls come tumbling down,
I will always be around.
People don’t know,
about the things I say and do.
They don’t understand,
all the mess that I’ve been thru.
And it's been so long,
since I've been home.
Don't 'cha know that I've been gone,
I've been gone for way too long.
Well maybe I’ve forgot
all the things that I miss.
Somehow I know
there’s more to life than this.
I’ve said it too many times,
and I still stand firm.
You get what you put in,
and people get what they deserve.
Still I ain’t seen mine.
No I ain’t seen mine.
I’ve been givin’
I just ain’t been gettin’
I’ve been walking that thin line.
And I think I’m gonna keep on walking
with my head held high.
I’ll keep movin’ on,
and only god know’s why....”(remember think if Gwen Steffani, or Nelly Furtado were singing the song.)
The audience cheered louder then I’ve ever heard them on that show. A couple of the young girls had tears in their eyes. Suzanne sat down next to me and handed me a hand mic again.
“Wow, that had a lot of feeling in it Toni. I can see what you meant earlier.”
“Well that song has always been one of my favorites, but over the past few years it’s had even more meaning to me.”
“Ah, another interesting point. Do we have the picture?” She asked, looking to the control room.
On the monitors flashed a picture of me when I was in the cup the first time, as Pat. Total shock hit me and my jaw just dropped. Here I was opening up to these people and they were pulling this shit on me?
“So Toni, we have it under good authority that this was you 4 years ago.”
“Where did you get that idea from?” I asked trying to keep my cool.
“Yes or no, was that you?”
I leaned in to whisper in Suzanne’s ear that if she didn’t go to a commercial break, I’d sue her personally for defamation of charicter.
“We’ll be back with the answer after this break.”
I just glared at her, as we walked to the side of the stage where the director was standing.
“Where did you get your information?”
“I can’t say, just that it is a reliable source.”
“I will tell you this. If you don’t find a way to fix this, I will personally sue this station. True or not. This information was never supposed to see the light of day. Now I will ask you again, who told you?”
“Then it is true?”
“You are going to not tell anyone. If you do, I will own you. Got me. Now get my mother on the phone, she’ll cover for me.”
“We can’t keep this from the world.”
“You can and you will, unless you want to be my personal bitch for the rest of your life. You don’t know who you’re dealing with. Not get my mom on the phone.”
They were able to reach my mom, and as we came back from break, I told Suzanne that if she knew what was good for her she’d play along.
“Ok, and we’re back. So Toni, about that picture?” she asked as they showed it again. “Was that you?”
“Well why don’t you call my mom, and ask her if she gave birth to a boy or a girl?”
“We have your mom on the phone right now. Hello?”
“I’m here. And I’m not happy that someone is spreading rumors about my little girl.”
“Love you too mom.”
“She is my little girl and will always be my little girl. If anyone want’s to say otherwise, just call me and I’ll put you in touch with our lawyer.”
“Ok, so that pretty well sums it up. We here at MTV deeply apologize for any accusations that have been talked about. They are not true, and the young lady next to me is completely female. Please accept my apology Toni. I was just given this info an hour before the show by the producers and didn’t have time to check the facts. I assure all of you this will not happen again. Join us tomorrow when we’ll have Justin Timberlake on.”
When we were clear I went back into the dressing room with the producer, director, Suzanne, and Jessica.
“Alright, spill it. Where did you get that picture?”
“We can’t say.” the producer told me.
“Ok, you want to play that way. You either tell me, or you tell my lawyer, and the judge that put a gag order on the whole thing back when it happened.”
Their jaws dropped. “So it is true?” asked Suzanne.
“It doesn’t leave this room. There are a hand full of people who know, and trust me when I tell you this. The people wanting to cover this up, can and will make you disappear, permanently.”
I pulled out the well worn photo book from the hospital and handed it to them as they sat on the couch. I told the story about the party, falling down the hill and landing in the toxic waste. They all shared the familiar look of awe on their faces that I’ve grown to expect from that picture book. Suzanne looked at me.
“The world needs to know the truth.”
“The world needs to know SHIT! You want to get yourself killed over this? You have no idea who you’re dealing with. The people behind this are more powerful then the Mafia, and the Arian Brother hood put together. And they have the way’s and means to make it so no one finds an atom of your DNA.”
“You’re joking.”
I pulled out the copy of the gag order I had and showed them the signatures at the bottom. They all turned white as a sheet when they read the names.
“Now, I’ll be taking that picture you showed and you WILL never speak of this again. They have ways of finding out.”
They gave me the hard copy of the picture and the disk the file was on. Jess and I left for the airport and she was uncomfortably quiet around me.
“Penny for your thoughts Jess?”
“What is going on Toni? I know you had the accident, but why all the cloak and dagger stuff?”
“You know some powerful people went to the U right?”
“Yeah, but what’s this got to do with them?”
“How would it look if senators, congressmen, and other people of power were found to be large contributors to a school that dumped toxic chemicals illegally? They’d be run out of office. So they put a gag order on my case, and we settled out of court. I just want to live my life as a normal woman. Damn, now there’s something I never thought I’d have to say. I don’t want to be famous. I don’t want to be a freak, or be treated like a science experiment. I just want to work on race cars and live my life.”
“I understand Toni. I know you used to be a guy, but for some reason that doesn’t freak me out. To me, you’re just one of the girls.”
“That’s all I ask. Nothing more, nothing less. Just let me be me.”
She hugged me as we pulled up to JFK for our flight back to Charlotte. Since I live closer to the airport then she does, she spent the night at my house and again we shared the same bed, like we did on the road. I felt myself starting to get used to the idea of being with her more and more, as more then just friends.
To Be Continued...
Next time: ALL hell breaks loose.
Comments
Cloak & Dagger
I'd have to say, if it was me in Toni's position, I would have reacted similarly. The press and other media do not have the right to outweigh private concerns expecially in a person living their life. There are limits and what was seen was crossing the line. Good Going Toni! Be the woman you are shove that press exposure crap where the sun don't shine on them.
Very very good story and Im anxiously awaiting the rest of this.
BigCloset TopShelf
THIS was nothing....
Just wait till the later chapters. *lets out an evil giggle, and rubs her hands* MUAHAHAHAHA...
I don't see why Toni was ...
... so surprised about the revelation. She has showed that book to a lot of people, and it never seemed as if she went out of her way to keep her situation a secret before. I have been surprised that the tabloids didn't come out with it when she first hit the big time. If MTV had that pic and story, others less principled (Saying MTV has principles is shocking, I know, but it does compared to the tabloids.) must have it, too, and the tabloids usually don't worry about being sued as they most times make more money from the stories than the amounts of the fines/judgements.
BE a lady!
Valid points...
However, you need to realize that when Toni has shown the book she keeps, to others, it's been her choice to show it, and what to tell. The reason it was handled the way it was, on MTV, was that they would most certanly dug deeper than she was willing to share with an audiance of that size.
Much love.
Toni
Nice music
I happen to really like Flogging Molly and Dropkick Murphys, but I had to hit the tissue on the Kid Rock.
Perfect choice.