Kate Draffen (Chapters 18 + 19)

By Swishy

Michael Taylor was a 17-year-old boy living in a town in Australia. Something happened and he found himself on a path to becoming a 17-year-old girl. This is a story about an ordinary teenager that had something extraordinary happen to him and how he tried to cope.

CHAPTER 18

By Friday I was almost officially a ‘cool’ girl. Lunch times were spent primarily with my new best friends, Alana and Lilly. It was there I would how to behave and tell them about my feelings without being ridiculed. At classes I still hung out with Glen and Dot but more and more Alana and Lilly were becoming my default friends. I had already my weekend booked up with ‘cool’ girl things. First, a sleep over at Alana’s house and then on Saturday night a ‘Cool group’ party. I was actually looking forward to the weekend. The novelty of being a girl at school was wearing thin and there was a lot to learn about being a girl outside of school.

That’s what Alana and Lilly were teaching me - how to act. While I used to think they were a little vapid and self-centred, I learnt that it was just a false first impression. They were caring, supportive and friendly to me, and how else could I judge their behaviour? Since they never knew much about Michael it was easy to act like Gemma around them. As soon as I did anything slightly girly around Dot she would tease me to within an inch of my life. That’s not to say I was a completely different person, I wasn’t. It’s just that sometimes it was impossible not to do something feminine and it was better not to suppress it. I was planning to move overseas one day, somewhere where they have no idea of the whole Michael/Gemma thing. So I want to be able to pass.

Even though I had been at school for almost a whole week some people still didn’t have a clue how to treat me. The younger students would automatically part as I walked down the corridors, making me feel like Moses in a school uniform. Most of the people who knew me as Michael still talked to me as Gemma but everyone else was terrified to say anything to me. Slowly, I got more confident with myself and my body felt less and less weird. As soon as I sat down I would cross my legs, I didn’t even need to remind myself anymore.

Being an actual, factual girl wasn’t that much different than being a boy, it was all the stuff that girls were expected to do that was tricky. I hadn’t dared to touch make-up, partly out of an innate fear of becoming a Jessica Simpson-style ditz, and partly out of an innate fear I’d end up looking like a clown. But most of the girls at school wore some, and for most of them, I couldn’t even tell. They just wore it to cover imperfections, to hide from the world that they weren’t perfect. Most of the world already knew that I wasn’t perfect. Alana and Lilly told me that they would go over the basics with me.

What I wanted more than anything was to fit in. Just to look at me, you’d think I was your average teenage girl, but the problem was absolutely everyone knew that I wasn’t. Not only did the younger students seem to be terrified, I would create a hush whenever I strolled down a corridor or entered a room.. I enjoyed hanging out with the cool girls because I felt this is where Gemma belonged. If I was born Gemma, I would be hanging out with these girls; playing with my hair, talking about clothes and going out with guys. OK, maybe that is a very two dimensional way of looking at a girl’s life but it was what I was aiming for. By acting like a 2D girl I was hoping the third and much more important dimension would somehow develop on its own.

"It’s only because you’re paying for all the repairs to the house that I’m cancelling your grounding," Mum said as she drove me the short distance to Alana’s house. It was true, I had donated a fair bit of money to Mum to get the house fixed up nice. Can’t have Australia’s newest celebrity living in a hovel. Mum had calmed down a fair bit over the last week, now that I was behaving a little better and going to school. I hadn’t broached the subject of tomorrow night’s party yet but I’d probably just lie and say that I am going to stay at Alana’s house one more night.

"So, who is this Alana girl anyway?" Mum asked, sounding a little dismissive of her even though she didn’t know her. Mum and Dot are completely different people, but they seemed to have this strange mutual admiration of each other. I think mum trusted Dot’s judgment far more than mine.

"She’s a new friend. She’s been teaching me stuff. Her Dad’s a lawyer."

"Is he cute or single?" Mum asked. Somehow, me being a girl meant my Mum now thought it was OK for her to talk about romance with me.

"I don’t know," I huffed, staring out of the car window.

"So why haven’t I met this Alana girl before?"

"Because she doesn’t hang with the same people I used to."

"You’re hanging out with different people now?"

"I’m still friends with my old friends, Mum. I just have more friends now." I wasn’t going to say anymore about it, because if I did I would be sure to open up and say everything. I just squirmed in the seat and stared at the sun going down.

Alana’s house was incredible. As a kid, I never really felt our family was poor until I started going around to other people’s houses. I’m glad I wasn’t friends with Alana earlier because her hallway alone would have made me feel like we were living in a cardboard box. I couldn’t feel too jealous now; I had enough money to buy a house exactly like it. "Gemma!" called Alana as she opened the door, "Come in, come in!" I waved to Mum that it was OK to drive away and I entered the house. It had only been a few hours since we had seen each other at school but she had plenty to say.

"That’s such a cute top," she commented. I thanked her for her compliment and told her that her clothes were cute too. It may have been the girliest thing I had done to that point. Talking about clothes, admiring a girl for what she was wearing and not her body that was underneath. The truth was, I didn’t really know that much about clothes and I had just complimented Alana’s clothes because I was returning her compliment. I wondered if there would be a time when I would know enough about clothes to give real compliments.

"This is the kitchen," she gestured to a room the size of the shack I called home,
"Wanna drink?"

"Sure," I said.

Alana swung open the door of the giant fridge like it was the huge iron gates of a medieval city. A huge gust of freezing cold air blew past me. "We’ve got Coke, Solo, Sprite, orange juice," she continued on to seemingly list almost every drink known to man. I decided on an apple juice and she pulled out a bottle, filling a glass for me. I gently sipped it and Alana ushered me into the lounge room. "Hi!" Lilly greeted me as she painted her toenails, "I’d get up, but…"

"That’s cool, stay seated. It’s not like I’m a major celebrity or nothing," I teased as I sat my sleeping bag and overnight bag down.

"I can’t believe you’re in the paper, like, everyday!" Lilly exclaimed.

"What can I say? I’m just that exciting!" She laughed at that.

I wasn’t that surprised that I had so quickly become such good friends with Alana and Lilly. They were very friendly, and I think they kinda liked having a new exciting yet clueless toy to play with. I was their very own Barbie Doll that they could teach life lessons to. Alana’s expensive comfortable couches called out to me, so I parked my bum down beside Lilly. "Have you ever painted your toenails before?" she asked me and I shook my head.

"Wow! You’re like a little alien!"

"Not quite, just been on the wrong side of the gender fence."

"It’s so freaky to think you were Michael, you so don’t look like a boy." She was right, sat beside her was a girl, a girl with no manly qualities at all.

"Do you still feel like a boy?" I thought about the question for a moment,

"I’m not sure. I’m the same person I was before but a lot has changed inside of me as well as outside. I guess I feel more and more like a girl each day because I have to. Whenever I do something girly without thinking about it I get a little excited. If I want the whole world to treat me like a girl, I have to start acting like one, I guess."

"Well, let’s start by painting your toenails!" Lilly laughed.

I was resigned to the fact I was an attractive girl, but I was starting to enjoy it. It was fun to be looked at by people with want in their eyes. However, like a lot of girls there was a parts of me I wasn't a fan of. "I hate my toes," I grunted as I swung my foot onto Lilly’s lap.

"Why?" The truth was that I didn’t have much ill feeling towards my toes, it’s just that I knew they were not up to the attractiveness level of the rest of my body, my toes and my bum were letting me down. But Lilly wasn’t offering to paint my bum so I would stay quiet about that.

"Because they’re so pudgy. My big toe is the same size as the rest only wider." The nails were also so tiny, like tiny solar panels on a flat roof but I wasn’t going to complain about my every flaw.

"Don’t be stupid, your toes are adorable! At least you don’t have finger-toes like me," Alana joined in, showcasing her long toes.

"I guess they’re not that bad," I said, wiggling them, "Michael’s used to have hair all over his!"

"Ewww!" said the girls collectively but I was barely listening. Did I just refer to Michael as a separate person? I hadn’t meant to do it, I just didn’t want the girls to think that my toes ever had hair on them. I should have said ‘the old me’ but instead I said ‘Michael’ as if we weren’t the same. Next time I wouldn’t make the same mistake.

When Lilly had finished with me, all ten toenails were a shade of lime green. It was a nice bonding exercise, letting her paint my toenails, but I did turn down the offer to do my fingernails. A little too girly, a little too quickly for my liking. "You’ve got such a gorgeous house!" I commented.

"Thanks."

Another thing that made me aware of how poor I was were families who had air conditioning. In Alana’s lounge room you couldn’t even tell it was over 30 outside, while back home the lounge room felt like a sauna. It was so cool in here that I could see a hint of nipple poking through Alana’s top. I looked down and noticed that she wasn’t the only person affected by the chill. I nonchalantly tried to cross my arms in an effort to hide my ‘pokies,’ this body could be so embarrassing sometimes.

We talked a lot. Well truthfully, they talked a lot and I chipped in when I thought I should. Mainly, I was studying them, learning nuances and little things that they did. I had been doing it all week and trying to copy them as best I could. But the conversation soon turned to me, meaning that I could no longer observe. "How has your first two weeks of being a sexy little thing gone?" Alana asked me as she leaned towards me.

"I don’t know about the sexy bit but I think I’ve been coping well."

"Shut up!" Alana said, "You, out of anyone, should know how sexy you are!"

"Why should I know?" I asked.

"Because you used to be a guy!"

"So…?"

"If the old you met the new you would you have been attracted to yourself?" I looked down at my body. This body seemed to attract a fair bit of male attention and I doubted that my reaction would have been much different. I liked big, inviting eyes liked I now had. I liked trim, taut bodies liked I had now. And what boy doesn’t like large, pillowy breasts? I certainly did. "I’m not sure, I was more into blondes."

"That can be arranged."

I still no idea how they talked me into it as I was very adamant at the start, no one was going to do anything to my hair. "You’ll look so cute!" they said.

"I don’t care," I replied.

"Your hair is already a really light shade of brown, it will dye blonde well."

"Still not interested."

"I’ve done it tons of times, it’s not going to hurt if that’s what you are worried about." It kinda was what I was worried about but I didn’t let on.

"Come on, it will show everyone that being a pretty girl doesn’t frighten you."

The thing about wanting to fit in is that it weakens your defences. And so I ended up sitting in Alana’s bathroom, wearing an old t-shirt of hers, awaiting my hair to be dyed. The girls saw it as a fun new thing to do to their living Barbie and I saw it as a way to align myself with my new friends.

It seemed like I was in some bizarre Wiccan ritual, with the girls singing and dancing around me to the pop songs on the radio. Even they were singing in English, it still seemed like they were chanting weird things I couldn’t understand. Pop music would be another thing I would have become interested in so that I could discuss it with them. I smiled nervously as they took apart the boxes, freeing the various satchels of chemicals that soon would engulf my hair. Lilly ran her fingers through my hair, "Are you going to grow your hair long?"

"No, I think I’m going to keep it this length." Long hair just seemed like another hassle that girls put up with for no discernable reason.

"That’s cool," she said, sounding a little disappointed that her Barbie doll had her own opinions, "You’ll look good either way."

Alana began combing and sectioning my hair with pins while Lilly mixed up the ‘pre-lightener,’ whatever that was. It was a little too much mad scientist for me, so I sat still like Frankenstein’s Monster awaiting the brain. "This," Alana said about the chemicals she had in front of her, "is to strip your hair of its colour before we put we put on the dye. Now you’re going to see your hair go some weird colours, the main thing is not to panic. I’ve done this tons before." I nodded meekly and felt the combs run through my hair. I had reached the point of no return.

My mobile phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my shorts, making sure not to bump the girls holding the acid or whatever was burning my hair. "HEY HOOTIE," the message began, "YOU SHOULD COME OVER + WATCH SUM MOVIES WITH G + ME." It was Dot, of course.

I hadn’t told her about my sleepover plans with the girls. I know it wasn’t a nice thing to do but I lied in my reply, "soz, busy tonight- family stuff. want to catch up for luch 2morrow?"

"OK WE’LL MEET 4 LUNCH BUT UR PAYING U RICH BITCH! LOL" was her response.

I felt bad lying to Dot but she wouldn’t understand why I was over at Alana’s house. "Who was the message from?" asked Alana as she worked the mixture through my hair.

I was going to have to lie to her too, "Oh, just my publicist," at least I got to tell a glamorous lie, "He just offering more press things but I’m turning them all down."

"It must be at least a little bit fun being so famous," Lilly sighed.

"Just a little bit," I conceded.

Once the pre-lightener was all on, we played the waiting game. We filled most of our time by chatting. "All the teachers are treating me with such kid gloves, I bet I wont need to do homework for the rest of the year," I gushed.

"Well, I bet all of them are scared of being fired if they mistreat you. You could get away with murder, Gemma Taylor," Alana smiled as she imagined the possibilities.

Lilly offered up a question, "So you are now rich, feared and beautiful? Ummm… maybe life isn’t that bad after all, huh Gemma?"

"Actually, it may look glamorous but believe me, my life is a huge mess. Being a girl is tough and being a freak is even harder."

Despite being the only people in the house Alana’s voice dropped down to a whisper, "Have you had your period yet?" I shook my head, in fact I hadn’t thought about it in awhile. It was far too scary a thought to let linger. Being a girl was scary enough without the bleeding for days at a time, combined with cramps and mood swings.

"Wow, getting your first period at 16! That must be so scary." The way Lilly made it sound my monthly visitor might as well have been Freddie Kruger.

"I’m 17 and I’ll cope," I squeaked out, sounding petrified, "I mean you girls go through it every month."

"I was absolutely terrified when I got mine, I cried all day," was Alana’s reminiscence.

"Me too," Lilly agreed, "and I got it at school."

"I remember that. I took you to the sick bay during music class." It seemed like every girl had a horror story about their first time and I would probably be no different.

I took my mind of the horror of my approaching period by focussing on the horror of my hair. It had turned all colours of the rainbow, from its original brown to its pale yellow it was now. Alana looked at her phone, "That should be enough time, let’s rinse it out." I dutifully did as she said, keeping my eyes tightly shut as the pre-lightener was washed off. If it could turn my hair yellow, I definitely didn’t want it in my eyes. They also put in some conditioner for some reason but I was beyond asking any more questions about the procedure.

"10 more minutes and you’ll be a dumb blonde, like me!" teased Alana as I sat in a chair with the dye all combed into my hair. I realised that I was just another poor victim of peer pressure, I would have never thought to dye my hair before these two girls talked me into it. I already had big boobs, now that I was going to be blonde people would see me as a total sex object. As soon as the press saw this I’m sure it would make at least page three news. Not to mention how pissed off Nicole was going to be when she saw that someone else had done my hair. She had been begging me ever since the change to style it. Mum would probably be angry too for some unknown reason, Mum had become extremely irritable since the change. And Dot would have something new to tease me about. What have I done?

Before I could begin crying, Alana’s phone began beeping; the dye had worked it’s magic for long enough. Again they leant me back and gently rinsed my hair. I always liked the feeling of people’s hands through my hair. In my younger days, when physical closeness with a female was tricky to get, having my hair washed by a pretty girl was a deeply arousing experience. That’s why I would get Nicole’s friends to cut my hair, over Nicole. Presently the two girls gently rinsing and conditioning my hair were probably the most beautiful to do so but I felt nothing for them, sexually at least.

As the dye drained away, leaving in unpleasant hue in the sink, my new hair was revealed. It actually looked darker than my original colour and I told the girls that. "That’s because it’s not dry!" laughed Lilly, producing a gun shaped object. It was a hair dryer, a device I had never used in my entire life. "No more peeking until it’s dry!" she said as she turned in on and turned my face away from the mirror.

There seemed to be a million steps before I could see what I now looked like and I was forbidden from looking into the mirror until it was dry. At least the hair dryer felt nice. I could learn to enjoy getting pampered. My eyelids slowly reclined down my eyes, cutting off the world. All there was left were the gentle hands combing my hair and a very warm breeze. In my mind I was in a tropical paradise and not in Alana’s parents’ en suite.

But the tropics vanished as soon as the roar of the dryer died. The girls spun me around and I was told to open my eyes. There I was. I was just getting used to the weird stranger looking back at me in the mirror and now she looked different again. I grimaced at how much I looked like my Mum and Nicole now, both of which had dyed blonde hair. But the colour did go well against my skin… It was all so weird. "Wow," I muttered as I shook my head and watched the new blonde strands of hair dance in the bathroom light, "I’m a blonde now."

Alana grinned at me, her eyes twinkling from beneath her blonde bangs.
"Prepare to have much more fun!"

I’m pretty sure I could watch DVDs and drink alcohol before I was blonde, and doing it now that I was didn’t seem to be much more fun than usual, so maybe this ‘blonde fun’ takes a while to kick in.

That’s not to say I wasn’t having fun because I was. It was great just to relax around the girls and not have to worry about the thousands of things I have to when I'm out in public. I could just be me, whoever that was these days. We ate ice cream, which was the expensive stuff that comes in the small punnets. I really could get used to living this high life.

"So, Aaron says he's coming to the party," hinted Alana.

Aaron? How did she know I had a thing for Aaron? I know she saw us play tennis together but I hadn't been that flirty, had I?

I was about to say something like, "But I'm not interested in Aaron," when Lilly spoke up.

"I know! Jenny, Louis' sister said that Aaron was talking about me all night at Jacqui's party. That is so cool if it's true."

Oh. Alana wasn't talking to me she was talking to Lilly. Lilly must have a thing for Aaron and from the way she told it, he had a thing for her too. That was annoying because Aaron was the only guy in the entire school who I could see myself with in the distant future when I would be ready for a guy in my life. Lilly was pretty and exotic looking; she could have any boy she wanted.
Why did she want mine?

"So, what's your plan off attack, you little schemer?" Alana said, ignoring the film and focussing entirely on Lilly.

Lilly laid out her plan, "Well, dress to impress, of course. Wear that hot pink cocktail dress and stuff in some chicken fillets and then remove him from the herd and make my move." Who knew girls could be so conniving? I wondered if Aaron knew he was the focus of Lilly's strategic plan. Probably not, as a guy I was unaware that girls plan things like this, especially with friends. Whenever I had romantic plans, they were much more simple; I plotted in total seclusion so that I wouldn't get mocked by the other guys.

"He's just so sweet and sexy. Did you him seeing playing tennis the other day? His shirt was sticking to his body and you could see his abs." Lilly's eyes widened as she recalled the sight. I remembered it too and I had a better view because I was his partner. Plus he chose me to be his partner he didn't choose Lilly. If he was so in love with Lilly he wouldn’t he have picked her as a tennis partner instead me.

"So, what about you, Gemma? Are you going to be turning your brand new feminine charms on anyone in particular tomorrow?" Alana asked me.

"Nah, not really," I said, holding back my minor crush on Aaron. I hadn't been a girl for very long but I knew it would be a wrong move to announce such a thing now that Lilly had staked her claim. After all, I was in no position to even consider having a romantic relationship, let alone pursue one. It was just a little frustrating to know one of my new friends wanted the same boy as me and if she worked her magic properly at the party she would have him.

I didn't have enough room in my life for a love triangle problem. I had mountains of problems already without starting a fight with one of my new friends. I needed Lilly and Alana to teach me as much as they could about being a girl but fighting was not something on my list, I had already had enough lessons with Dot. So, although people tended to think I got every little thing I wanted these days I decided to give up Aaron for Lilly.

But it seemed Lilly wasn't finished causing me pain. We both sat on the couch together, both sipping our fluro-coloured alcoholic drinks and watching the movie. About the halfway point I sensed she was staring at me and not Alana's massive TV screen. I swivelled my head to see if I was right. I was. "What is it?" I asked, a little wearily.

"Nothing. It's strange. There's just, like, a few miniscule things that remind me that you are new to this girl thing," Lilly said, "I mean you look so real…"

"I am real," I reminded her.

"You know what I mean!" Lilly sighed, "You're so new to being a girl. You've adjusted your bra like 3 times in the last few minutes." She had a point there, this bra wasn't quite behaving the same way as the others so my chest felt a little uncomfortable and I had been trying to jostle my twins into a comfortable position. I was doing it during the movies because I didn't think anyone was watching. "Also, your ears aren't even pierced!"

That was also true. I hadn't thought of that at all. Most girls have their ears pierced in at least one spot and I did want to be like most girls. Alana had two earrings in each ear and Lilly had three. Despite me partially agreeing that earrings would be a good idea, I didn't like the way Lilly was advancing on me. "What are you doing?" I asked, with a slight quiver in my voice.

"If you want," she said inspecting my ear, "We can do it right now. Just one little prick and it would be over."

That reminded of a joke Dot had told me, right before this whole mess started. She was talking about needles, proper medical needles operated by medical professionals, and I was terrified of those. How scared do you think I would be of the prospect of being jabbed in the ear by a slightly tipsy Eurasian teenage girl?

"No thank you," I said as calmly as I could, which wasn't very calm.

"Come on! Lilly did my second set and it barely even hurt!" Alana started moving in on me too. I was trapped. Like my hair, my ears were going to be pierced whether I liked it or not by order of the 'Cool' girls.

"Promise it's not going to hurt?" I asked pitifully. I can really be gullible sometimes.

"Fuck me!" I hollered as the 'sterilized' needle went through my ear and into the apple wedge behind it. Supposedly it wasn't going to hurt because my ear had been numbed by ice. Fat lot of good that did! "Owie, owie, fuck, fuck," I muttered through gritted teeth as they pulled the needle out of my ear.

"Great job!" Lilly said, clutching her mini murder weapon in her hands, "Now for the other one."

"No," was all I said.

"Huh?" she asked as she 'prepped' for surgery.

"I'm done! Just the one is fine. Thank you!"

"What are you talking about? You can't just do one! It'll look stupid."

"Lilly's right. Girls usually have both ears pierced!" Alana added.

Now, almost more than ever I wished I was a boy again so I wouldn't have to go through this whole 'ear + needle = pain' thing one more time. But since I did one ear to fit in, I really needed to do the other one. I slowly lowered my hands covering my ears and cocked my head towards a girl I once trusted.

"Just get it over with!" I moaned.

Shortly after the 'ear massacre' was over with, I found myself in Alana's bathroom, relieving myself. Being a girl meant I was forced to sit down, which sorta had its upsides because it gave me an opportunity to think. Dr. Chisholm had said I had finished transforming weeks ago but looking in the mirror proved that I had gone through quite a large transformation just this evening. My hair was now dazzling blonde and there was the sparkle of red gems from the bottom of my ears. I had certainly become more striking and honestly cuter in just a few hours at Alana's. Was this what I wanted? I had befriended the girls out of necessity; I needed someone to relate to and to look after me. Dot wasn’t up to the job and Holly seemed a little standoffish. To be really honest, I liked hanging around with Lilly and Alana, but if they broke out the cocktail dresses I would be out of there in a flash.

I touched my ears, they were still feeling very tender. In spite of the pain, they actually looked really good. But there were a lot of rules, I would have to rub my ears with alcohol 3 times a day to stop it from getting infected and I had to keep these studs in for ages before I could take them out. Alana was nice enough to give me Garnet studs, because she told me that was my birthstone. I didn’t much care for all that nonsense but they were pretty and made of surgical stainless steel so they wouldn’t aid infections. Lilly had briefly mentioned piercing my belly button but I think she was just trying to scare me.

"Gemma, we are so proud of you," Lilly told me when I came back from the toilet.

"Why’s that?" I asked as I plopped myself on the couch.

"Well, it’s just how you never give up. If I woke up two weeks ago as a dude I would still be crying. But look at you, two weeks in and you’re dyeing your hair and piercing your ears like a regular girl. You’ve been prepared to learn all there is to know and you’ve been so nice to me and Alana. You’ve been so great about it all."

"Thanks," I smiled, "That’s exactly what I needed to hear." I blinked back a few tears and the girls, sensing that something was coming up, hugged me. My boobs squished up against my new friends in an uncomfortable way.

"Damn this bra!" I said, ruining what was quickly becoming a slightly too saccharine moment. The girls laughed knowingly, something that Glen and even Dot couldn’t do. But as long as my boobs were big enough to stick out like that I was a slave to the bra.

"Just take it off! You’re among friends," Alana said as she passed me another sweet, fizzy alcoholic drink. She had a point, if I wasn’t comfortable why bother enduring the irritation of an ill-fitting bra. I ducked into the hallway, whipped off my top, shucked my bra and pulled my top back on. It was all done in less than 10 seconds. I walked back into the room, clutching my bra.

It was then I was attacked.

Hit square in the head by a rogue pillow. The culprit laughed as I stood there momentarily bewildered. Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but I didn’t have time to let it cool. I quickly picked the pillow and tossed it with mock fury at Lilly. It hit her in her face and she squealed. "It wasn’t me!" she laughed, "It was little Miss Innocent over there!" Lilly pointed an accusing finger at Alana.

Alana opened her mouth in shock and was about to protest when she was hit in the head by a couch cushion. "That’s it!" she said, rising to her feet, "It’s on!"

And what happened next? An old-fashioned pillow fight. The type that girls insist never ever happens at their sleepovers. One with pillows, screaming, pyjamas and slight erotic undertones. Without the aid of a bra, my boobs wobbled like a plate of jelly in an earthquake, it slowed me down a little but I was playing to win. The pillows came thick and fast. Lilly threw her only weapon, a boomerang pillow at me and missed, it didn’t return to her like the weapon it is named after.. I slowly advanced, clutching my pillow and a seat cushion. I was about to have soft, feathery revenge on all the pain she put me through.

"Mercy, mercy!" she begged through fits of laughter.

"Beg all you want," I laughed like a madman.

I moved in closer and closer. She looked around in vain for something to throw. I raised the pillow above my head, ready to perform the coup de grace. Suddenly and without warning, Alana flews from behind the couch and slammed me with a pillow, right in my head.

Right in the side of the head.

Right in my recently stabbed ear.

"Fuck! That’s my ear!" I howled. I dropped my pillow and clutched my stinging ear. A few tears of pain rolled down my cheek and I breathed in deep through gritted teeth.

"Oh God! I am so sorry!" Alana said, dropping her weapon, "That must really sting!"

"It does!" I sobbed, milking it for a little extra sympathy. I liked any extra attention I could get my hands ons since becoming a girl; I was unsure if that was because I was getting greedy after all the attention that had been heaped onto me, or because my personality had altered. Either way, I liked the warmth of the spotlight these days.

That ended the pillow fight, nothing like someone hitting you right where it hurts to ruin some fun roughhousing. Even though I forgave her for a simple mistake, Alana kept on apologising. I told her it was no big deal, and finally when she thought she had been apologetic enough, things went back to normal. Or at least as normal as things could be, I thought to myself.

"Gem, what do you miss about being a boy?" Lilly asked as she flicked through the channels on Alana’s TV.

"I don’t know," I thought hard about it all, "Everything was a lot less complicated. I think the difference between being really good at being a guy and just being an average guy is not very great but being good at being a girl is going to take a lot of work. Does that make any sense at all? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t."

"I guess so," Lilly said, "But don’t worry too much; you’re doing an awesome job at being a girl!"

And I guess she was right. As I lay in my sleeping bag, between two girls, with my new blonde hair and pierced ears it seemed to me I was doing a fine job becoming a girl. The only other thought in my head was, ‘Is that a good thing?’

CHAPTER 19

You know sometimes when you wake up somewhere unusual and for the few seconds before your brain kicks in you lay there wondering where you are and what is going on? That’s what happened to me when I woke up in Alana’s lounge room in a weird body and between two girls. It had happened a few times before, I guess two weeks being a girl wasn’t enough to re-write my subconscious, which apparently still thought I was a boy. I would lay semi-comatose in bed until I would stumble across a distinctly female part of me; like I would brush past one of my boobs or let out a feminine groan or feel the emptiness of my crotch. That day it was my smooth legs rubbing together that sent alarm bells off in my head. I jolted straight up, breathing short, sharp breaths until I remembered I was a girl now. My heart rate gently slowed down as I wriggled back into my sleeping bag.

The other girls didn’t wake up quite so abruptly. They basked in the warm sun streaming in from the windows, stretching out like cats. Their hair was mussed up and they were wearing no make-up but they still looked really pretty. I looked at my reflection in the TV; mussed hair, no make-up, really pretty. Even though I was new to all this I felt I fitted in perfectly. I cautiously rubbed one of my ear lobes. It still stung a bit, and there was a constant fear in the back of my mind that they were going to get infected. But the studs looked good so the girl side of me I was trying to cultivate was happy.

"Mmmph," Alana moaned as she fumbled around in her sleeping bag.

"You awake?" I asked her.

"Mmmph," she responded. It was tricky to tell whether that ‘Mmmph’ meant yes or no.

I asked "Is it OK, if I go and have a shower?" and she made a noise that sounded more like yes than no so I wriggled out of my sleeping bag and tiptoed out of the lounge. As I pulled my undies out of my bum while walking down the hall to the bathroom, I thought, ‘That wasn’t very ladylike.’ I never wore briefs as a boy, I found them too constricting but now as there is nothing to constrict I quite happily wear girls briefs. However they do have a tendency to climb up into my bum crack. I didn’t like it, which made me figure that no way would thongs becoming a part of my wardrobe.

My shower was great. Alana’s water pressure was amazing; it was like washing myself under a waterfall. I thought maybe all the hair dye would come leaking out under the pressure but it didn’t. I was as blonde when I left as when I entered the shower. The process of cleaning myself was quite invigorating, as if it was recharging my batteries. When I was at full capacity, I turned the knobs and practically leapt from the shower.

The simple truth was I looked good naked. The delicate and intricate curves of my body were the most breath taking when not hidden by clothes. When dressed I did look top-heavy but naked you could see that while my breasts did dominate, my hips and bottom were actually a nice counter balance. However, there was something weird about my body now. My drapes did not match the carpet. I didn’t worry me too much because it wasn’t as if anyone was going to see the carpet anytime soon and if it kept annoying me, I would remove the carpet and just have polished floorboards.

My mobile phone told me a truth about the time I wasn’t happy to learn: it was much later than I thought it was. I had a lunch planned with Dot today and she would be annoyed beyond measurement if I failed to show. As much as I enjoyed my time with Alana and Lilly, Dot was still my best friend. Sure, we were having problems, but we were so close it was like we were married and all married people fight. Wrapping myself in a towel (because for some reason Dot hated when I called her from the toilet or when I was naked. Why that mattered? I have no idea.) I hit 1 on my speed dial.

"Hey Hootie!"

I would have to fight fire with fire. "Hey Flatsy!"

"How are you going?"

"Not great, Nicole bounded me up last night and punched holes in my ears and turned into a dumb blonde. So don’t freak out when you see me, I look like a total bimbo."

"Really?" she said, slowly, "But I… Are you… How much animal tranquilliser did it take to get you to agree to do that?"

"Mum and Nicole ganged up on me," for some reason I just couldn’t stop lying, "They said I had to act more like a girl if I wanted to pass for female when I go overseas."

"That’s ridiculous! I don’t have my ear pierced or hair dyed and nobody asks me if I was born male."

"That’s what I said!" Another lie.

"So, lunch?" Dot changed the subject, which finally stopped me from lying.

"Yep, how about BTB at 2?"

"That’s, like, an hour away? I can do that. Want Mum to pick you up on the way?"

"No, it’s cool. I need the walk. See ya there!"

I felt bad for lying to Dot, but Dot would have made me feel worse if she knew the truth. The fact was I was going to be teased within an inch of my life for being blonde now, it would have been a fatal teasing if she knew I had let Alana and Lilly do it to me.

My boobs were gently cradled and hoisted up by the cups of my blue bra, but I spent about 30 seconds hooking it up in the back. Annette had told me about the cheaters way of hooking it up in the front and spinning it around but I liked a challenge. My boobs looked quite happy and felt comfortable in their silky confines and the material felt quite luxurious against my skin. I wobbled them about a bit, trying to get them to sit just right. There was quite an art to getting into a bra properly.

Panties, on the other hand, were easy. Pull ‘em up and away you go, easy as that. And now there isn’t the need to even worry about adjusting myself as all my reproductive organs are inside me. Shorts followed my undies and a light brown t-shirt followed that. And that was it, I was dressed. I don’t know why some women spend so long getting ready, the only thing different about my casual dress now that I am a girl is the bra, and once I get good at putting them on, I should be an unstoppable dressing machine.

"Morning," mumbled Alana as I came back into the lounge.

"It’s afternoon actually," I informed her as I looked for my sandals.

"Mmmph," she said, letting her head fall back onto the pillow.

I slipped on my sandals and grabbed a few items from my overnight bag, "I’m going for lunch with Dot, but I’ll be back in like 2 hours or so, OK?"

"So you are coming to the party?"

"Yeah, why not? It should be fun!"

"Attagirl!" she teased.

BTB wasn’t too far from Alana’s and the walk was nice, just as I had predicted. BTB was a semi-trendy café that absolutely everyone in Marrang has been to at least one, it stood for ‘By The Beach’ which was exactly where it was located. Clever name, huh? It was a gorgeous little iconic place that was as much for the tourists as it was for the locals and considering it was over 30 degrees and a Saturday, the tourists would be out in force. Marrang was only a three-hour drive from Melbourne and thus a lot of Melbourians would spend their weekends by the Marrang beach when the weather was hot. That’s why I had packed my hat and sun glasses.

I felt like a real celebrity in my baseball cap and dark sunglasses, as if I was trying to disguise my self from the regular ‘un-famous’ people. Nobody would recognise me, not with my eyes and hair covered, especially when my hair was a new colour. I wondered how many of the people there were hoping for a glimpse of Marrang’s now most famous resident. The disguise worked, nobody rushed up to me, to poke and stare at the freak. If I was wearing dark sunglasses and a baseball cap somewhere else I might draw interest, but this was the beach so it was pretty much standard attire.

Dot was late, of course. Serves me right for expecting this time would be different. She always blamed her mum for her lateness, even if it didn’t involve her being driven. I stood around the main entrance of BTB, which was also the busiest part of the beach. The disguise was working well, a little too well actually. Nobody, except the occasional boy was looking at me, and all they were looking at was my body. Here was a hundred people, maybe more, walking right past one of Australia biggest news stories of the year and they didn’t even know it.

I took my sunglasses off, because the sun wasn’t really that bright. Where was Dot? I didn’t want to be mobbed by fans while I was waiting for her sorry butt. I know Dot wasn’t aware I was squeezing her in, between my many social events but at least she could be punctual. She was the one who wanted to catch up so badly anyway. I scoured the many faces walking to the beach, looking for Dot. Not one of them.

My hat was going to give me the worst hat-hair. I didn’t want that. I needed to look my best for the party. So I took it off. I didn’t want to mobbed by fans, but I didn’t really want hat hair either. My blonde hair was disguise enough. People began to look at me more now. I should have put my glasses and hat back on but I didn’t. Maybe I should go and check if Dot had gone into the back entrance of BTB and was waiting for me inside. No, it’s OK. I’ll wait here.

It was too late, two young girls, about 11, were approaching me. "Umm... Hi," said one of them.

"Hi," I said back.

"Are you her?" she asked nervously.

"Who?" I asked. I’m not sure why. I knew she thought it was me.

"Gemma. That girl who used to be a boy," she studied my face. The other girl just looked straight at me, saying nothing.

There was no point in lying to them, "Yes, I’m her."

"Wow!" They were suitably impressed. "You’re so pretty!" she gushed, "I like what you’ve done to your hair!"

"Thanks," I said, modestly, even though I was secretly chuffed.

"What are you doing at the beach? Can we have your autograph?"

I laughed. Someone wanted my autograph. I, a person whose greatest achievement was setting up a dominos trail that went all through my house, was being asked for my autograph. It was such a weird question to be asked. But from their side of things it made sense; they just wanted proof that they had met me, one of the biggest names in the country at the moment. Who could blame them? Gemma Taylor was on everyone’s TV and suddenly I was right there, less than one metre in front of them. "Of course you can have my autograph."

The non-talkative one took out her tiny pink wallet and rummaged around for something for me to sign. She produced a long docket. "I’ve got an Ipod nano on layby that I’m buying with my pocket money," she explained, "This is an old docket, you can write on the back of it."

"Thanks," I said. I liked these girls. If I had to be ‘mobbed’ by fans I was glad they were from the young girl category and not the old man group.

"We don’t have a pen, though," apologised the girl.

"That’s OK," I smiled. "I have one." I produced a black pen that I had tucked into my shorts pocket. I’m not sure why I had it on me but I did.

"So, what are your names?" I asked them, as if I was an expert at giving autographs.

"Well, I’m Julia," gushed the talkative one, "and this is my cousin, Gemma."

I looked up at my introverted namesake. "Isn’t that an awesome name?" I smiled and so did she. "Are you girls from Marrang?"

"No," Julia took a sip of her Coke between sentences, "We’re from Geelong, but Gemma’s Mum drove us down here for a day at the beach and then we are going to the movies."

"Sounds like a fun day," I said, handing them each a scrap of paper with their names, my name and a tiny message on it.

"Thank you!" Julia smiled, her eyes bright with excitement.

"Yeah, thank you!" echoed Gemma.

"Do you like being a girl?" Julia asked me.

There was no other way I could answer this question with two little girls looking up at me. "Of course I do! It’s amazing, isn’t it?"

Julia’s eyes grew even brighter. "Yeah!" she agreed and they ran down to the beach, shouting another thank you behind them.

That experience was painless enough. I could enjoy being a celebrity if that was as bad as it got, especially if the luxurious lifestyle came with it. Maybe moving into overseas into obscurity isn’t the best plan. I could live in Australia and become a permanent celebrity; flash parties, TV appearances, movie premiers. I’m sure after enough time had passed people would forget I used to be a boy and just think of me as that pretty woman from the TV. I would then be free to live my life however I wanted. It didn’t seem to be that bad a life.

"You’re Gemma Taylor, aren’t you?" somebody else asked me. This time is was a guy, but he was with his wife or girlfriend so the chances of me being ogled were slightly less.

"Yep," I told him.

"Told you so," he told his girlfriend, "Do you mind if we get a photo with you?"

A photo, huh? At least it’s quicker than signing an autograph. "Go ahead," I told them and they both looked at each other, telepathically communicating the way long time couples can. They turned away from me and I wondered what I had done wrong. I quickly rethought my actions of the last few seconds and I hadn’t done anything wrong. Where were they going? "Excuse me," the man asked an apparent stranger, "Could you take a picture for us please?"

"Of course," answered the stranger. The couple stood either side of me as if we had been best friends all our lives. I stood awkwardly and smiled as naturally as possible.

"You click the big button on the top," advised the man, holding his smile in place as he did.

"Oh, OK," said the stranger, fiddling with the camera, "There! Done!" He handed the camera back to the couple who immediately reviewed the picture. It seemed to be to their approval.

"That’s great. Thanks, Gemma," said the woman.

"You’re Gemma Taylor?" asked the stranger. I nodded. "Can I get a picture with you too?"

"Sure. Why not?"

Soon a small crowd gathered around me, people wanting to sign things and people getting photos of me. Everyone was very polite but I didn’t like how big the crowd was getting. For every piece of paper I signed there were three more under my nose. Some could have slipped a contract in there and I would have blindingly signed it ‘Thanks, Gemma Taylor’.

"Hey Hootie!" called out a member of the crowd.

"You’re late," I called back, trying not to crack the plastered smile on my face.

"Sorry, but I’m me. What did you expect? Wanna get a table?" Dot asked me and I nodded. I had made a lot of friends within the last few minutes but none of them were invited to lunch with me and Dot.

"Thank you everyone," I told the crowd, "but I am going to have some lunch now! See you all later!" There wasn’t too many disappointed people, I think I had signed enough things and been the subject of enough photos that everyone who wanted their brush with fame got it. I gave the crowd a huge wave and went inside BTB to the sounds of cheering.

"Hey, aren’t you the big star?" Dot teased the second we got in the door.

"Fuck up!"

"Nice hair."

"Shut up," I told her as we sat down. So far our conversation was as normal as usual.

The place was fairly busy with people eating, sipping, chatting and looking out over the beach. I casually slipped my celebrity sunglasses on, as a sign I wanted to be left alone by my adoring public.

"Wow, you’re hair is really, really blonde!"

I suddenly felt very self-conscious and try to hide my hair a little but it was so bright that the task was impossible.

"Hi, how are you today?" asked the waitress. It was Selma, my math-loving sports hating classmate. A lot of students have part-time jobs, I didn’t because I was too lazy. "Oh hi Dot! Hi Gemma!" she added when she noticed who she was serving.

"Hi Selma," I replied and Dot just waved.

"I really like what you’ve done to you hair!" Selma said. Selma’s hair was mousy and a little bit frizzy. But I wasn’t judging it at all.

"See?" I chided Dot, "Selma likes my hair!"

Dot rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

Dot leant over the table towards me and asked if I was still paying for her. Even though I never agreed to it, I told her I would. I think that may have influenced her order. "Selma dear," she began, "I will have the porterhouse, medium-rare with chips, side order of mushrooms and a large strawberry thickshake. A-thank you!" I stared wide-eyed at my freeloading, supposedly famished friend.

"Hungry are we?" I asked her, wondering how that much food was going to fit in such a small girl.

"Ravenous." She smiled as if she was very happy with herself.

"Just a small Chicken Alfredo for me and a glass of apple juice."

Selma scribbled on her piece of paper and walked into the clamour of the busy kitchen. I liked Selma, she was a little too shy for her own good but she was very sweet. I had harboured a slight crush on her, back when I could feel that way about girls. I never acted on it because pining for Holly took up way too much time but I think we could have been good together. But now my interest in her could only be platonic.

You know you are in for an interesting lunch when the first question is, "So, you’ve spent been two weeks as a card carrying member of Vagina Squad. What’s your verdict, blondie?"

"I didn’t get a card, just the vagina," I teased.

"You know what I mean, bimbo."

"Well, if I could join the Doodle Club again, I would but being a girl isn’t that horrible at all."

"You haven’t had your monthly visitor yet, have you?" Dot asked unabashedly. I shook my head, shyly. Why were so many people asking me that question lately? "Well, look forward to that. It’s going to be fun."

Dot wasn’t being as reassuring as Alana and Lilly were the night before. My period seemed to me one of the last big scary things I had to go through. It had been in the back of my mind ever since the girls told me their horror stories about theirs last night. Despite Annette’s long lectures I knew next to nothing about my new reproductive organ. All I know about it was that it looked weird and it felt nice to touch. However, I knew that it would soon geyser blood and do that every month for several decades. I was going to learn about this Secret Girls’ Business first hand and was actually terrified.

"It’s going to hurt, isn’t it?" I meekly asked. How could I bleed for several days and not be in pain? I knew it was going to be painful, I just wasn’t sure on how much.

Dot leaned across the table and said, "Let’s just say it’s going wipe that pretty smile off your face. There’s more to a woman’s life than giggling and earrings."

I was offended by that comment. If anyone knew that it was challenging being a girl it was me. Hell, giggling and earrings made up about 1% of my total time being a girl; I had spent a much more sizable chuck of time crying. I had a lot to learn about my new gender but I was quite aware that being a girl wasn’t all fun. However, Alana, Lilly and their whole group had taught me that it could be a little bit fun if I just indulge in some girly things now and again, something that Dot wouldn’t know anything about.

"I know that," I said and it was obvious I was annoyed. Selma brought out the food and swiftly placed it under our noses. She was quite professional as a waitress and I thought that maybe I should get a part-time job but then I remembered that I was a millionaire now and would be for sometime if Dot didn’t keep ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.

And so we talked. Over bites of ours meals, we talked. It was pleasant, if a little stilted. It appeared to me that maybe Dot was holding back a little, biting her tongue instead of teasing me. Maybe she was making the effort to finally be nice to me. Something was making her act differently and I wanted to know what it was.

"How’s your steak?" I asked Dot, who was making a fair dent in it.

"Meh," she replied. That was annoying, if I was paying for her massive steak the least she could do was enjoy it. There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence after her ‘meh’ that unnerved me enough to ask her what her problem was.

"Nothing," was her answer. But she was lying.

"No," I said firmly, "Tell me."

She sighed a looked right into my eyes. Her eyes seemed angry and sad at the same time, as if to say, "You had to push it, didn’t you?"

"Guess who me and Glen bumped into at the video store last night?" Ah shit! I’m not sure whom she met, but one of my many clumsy lies must have become unravelled. I decided to play innocent, maybe I could lie my way out of this problem.

"Who?" I prayed that this person would be easy to explain away.

"Nicole." Shit! There was no getting out of this. Dot continued, "She was renting some movies with her boyfriend."

I took a leap through the only opening I could find, "Yeah, not only did she bimbo me, we had to watch stupid chick flicks too."

"One- she didn’t hire chick flicks, it was Ben’s choice. And two- she told me you went to a sleepover with Connor Sturt’s little sister, Alana."

Damn it! She knew I was lying the entire time and she kept letting me dig deeper and deeper. That was a really low thing to do. I was angry with her for leading me on this whole time. It was such a Dot thing to do, to just sit there and let me squirm. It was almost like she enjoyed being a bitch.

"Sorry," I squeaked.

"A sleepover at Alana Sturt’s house? Christ, Gemma! How fucking girly are you? You turned down watching movies with me and Glen for a sleepover with Alana Sturt." The fact the most boys would also choose spending the night with Alana over her seemed to go unnoticed by Dot.

"I didn’t choose her over you. They just asked first. You didn’t ask me until Friday night." It was a good point and I made sure Dot heard me.

"Fucking hell, Gemma. We’ve been hanging out together every weekend since Year 7. I didn’t think I had to book in advance."

"Well, now that I have some new friends, you do." I said ‘new friends’ but it was clear I meant ‘better friends’.

"Is it too late to book you for tonight, Miss Taylor? Me and Glen are finishing off a Hitchcock marathon and you are welcome to join us." Why she would want to continue this fight into the night, I’ll never know.

"Sorry," I said, a little insincerely, "I’m going to Jeff Macdonald’s party tonight."

"Michael hated Jeff Macdonald," Dot relished in referring to ‘Michael’ as a separate person in front of me. However, she was wrong, I had always had time for Jeff Macdonald.

"No, I never did. Shows how much you think you know about me."

She huffed, clearly hurt by my comment and I was glad. All is fair in love and war and let’s just say there wasn’t much love in this friendship anymore. "I know more about the old you than you seem to," Dot sighed, tired of being catty, "I know you’ve been hanging out with those bimbos at lunch."

"I’m sorry," I said, a little more sincerely this time, "You wouldn’t stop mocking me, so I went looking for new friends. They’ve been so nice. I’ve learnt how to act more like a real girl."

"And who’s going to be fooled? Everybody in the whole world knows what you are."

She just couldn’t see my side of things. That was always her biggest problem, she could never empathise with anyone. "I know I’m not fooling anyone. I just want to fit in a little bit."

"Who the hell wants to fit in? I just don’t get you sometimes. You never wanted to conform before the change. And now all of a sudden you’re trying to be a ‘Cool chick’." She angrily pushed her plate to one side, signalling that her was about to leave in a huff. "I miss the old Michael," she said bitterly. She stood up and began to leave BTB. There was no way I was going to let her leave with the final word.

"Funny that," I said, loud enough that she could hear, "I miss the old Dot."

********

As always, feel free to email me any comments, questions or criticisms to [email protected] The response I got to this story has been absolutely amazing. Thank you so much.