Realizing that she had been laying on Richard, unconscious, she nervously sat up and checked herself. Her mind panicked. Did he feel her fake breasts? What about her jeans? Did he go exploring there? How could she let this happen, she shouted in her brain as her heart raced.
Feeling rough fingers on her chin, her face was directed back towards Richard's and the man pulled her into a long kiss. Closing her eyes, Christina parted her lips and relaxed.
"It's okay," Richard assured her. I don't mind that you fell asleep. It was rather nice holding you."

Being Christina Chase
Chapter 41 - Suspicions
by Admiral Krunch

        Christina's entire bedroom was filled with the golden glow of the morning sun as she sat in front of her vanity brushing her long brown hair. Sitting there in her long white nightgown, she didn't have a single care in the world. For the first time in as long as she could remember, it seemed the future that lay before her was filled with endless possibilities.

        An abrupt pounding sound cut through the air; each thwack grating on Christina's spine. Going to her bedroom window, she looked down and saw Andrei by the entrance of the barn. He was standing next to a pile of wooden planks, nailing one of them onto the old barn. Christina was not sure why, but each nail Andrei hammered made her more upset.

        Without stopping to get dressed or even put on a pair of shoes, she rushed out of her bedroom and into the hallway. As she hurried across the top floor, she could still hear each fall of the hammer as though she were still standing by her window. The noise was so unnerving that if felt as though she could feel the impact of the nails into the wood on the surface of her own skin. Noticing that Nina's door was open, she stopped and asked, "Nina, can you hear that?"

        Nina was sitting at her desk, frowning. All of her schoolbooks were in a pile on the floor. It looked as though she'd thrown them from her desk. They just lay laid there, open, in a trash heap, their pages bent.

        "Nina?" she called, but the girl did not answer. She did not look up or even acknowledge that Christina was there. Feeling another nail, Christina could no longer wait for Nina to respond. She ran down the stairs, through the living room, and out the front door. Gravel clawed at her bare feet as she sprinted down the driveway. When she got to the barn, she saw what Andrei was doing; he was nailing thick planks of wood over the barn door. He'd already hammered four of them into place, and was lifting the last plank to finish the job.

        "Andrei!" Christina shouted. "What are you doing?"

        Andrei started hammering the last board over the door, not acknowledging Christina in any way. He did not look at her; nor did he move in response to her voice.

        Again Christina shouted, "Andrei! What's going on?"

        Finishing his task, Andrei let the hammer drop from his hand, and walked slowly back to the side door of the house.

        Christina followed after him and pleaded, "Why won't you talk to me?" She walked backward in front of him and begged, "Please! Why won't you say anything?" Christina stopped and watched as Andrei walked past her and into the kitchen, as though she were not there. She looked back at the barn, which was now completely inaccessible, then back to the house.

        Confused and frightened, Christina went into the kitchen. There, she saw Andrei standing in front of her uncle. They looked positively furious with each other, though not a word was exchanged between them.

        "What's going on?" Christina cried. She looked back and forth between them, and neither man took any notice of her.

        Andrei sneered, showing the tips of his incisors. Alek, for his part, stood immovably before him. Without a single change in either of their faces, Andrei turned his back on his father, and went to the side door.

        "Where are you going?" Christina pleased. "Andrei!" But it made no difference. Christina watched as Andrei left the house, and she had the suspicion that he'd never be back again.

        Christina went to her uncle and asked, "What just happened?"

        Much like Andrei, Alek took no notice of her. His gaze was fixed upon the door, and it was as though he was looking straight through her. Slowly, he turned away and went into the living room.

        After Alek had left, Christina noticed her aunt sitting alone at the kitchen table. For a moment, it appeared to Christina that she had a grin on her face. But then, almost imperceptibly, Misha's mouth collapsed, and Christina saw in her a well of despondence, the depth of which she could not fathom.

        "Please ..." Christina wept, as she knelt at her aunt's side, "just tell me why this is happening." Looking up through her tears, Christina whimpered, "Why can't you see me?"

        Misha sat there, completely ignoring the girl who was crying at her feet. It broke Christina's heart.

        Unable to bear being unseen in Misha's presence, Christina fled to the living room. She needed to talk to Alek. He must know what was happening. He of all people had to know she was there.

        As she entered the room, she saw Alek standing by the open front door. Beyond the man was the mountain in full bloom capped by a cloudless blue expanse. Running to him, Christina cried, "Something is wrong with Nina. She's just sitting upstairs. And why are you mad at Andrei? What happened?"

        Alek too acted as though Christina was not there.

        "And Aunt Misha is so sad, and I don't understand what's going on!" Christina wept uncontrollably and begged, "Please say something."

        As though he'd just become aware of her existence, Alek tilted his head downward and looked at Christina. His face hardened, and he looked very cross with her. "Stop right there!" he bellowed.

        Rather than shrinking away, Christina was seized by an incredible rage. It felt at first as though she had waded into a stream, but it grew into a river, then swelled until she was swept away by an anger that was not her own.

        "I said stop!" Alek repeated.

        Christina shouted, "I'm not going to argue with you anymore!"

        "You will do as I say!"

        "I'm leaving!" Christina shot back at the man that towered over her.

        "No you are not," Alek growled. "I forbid it."

        "You can't forbid anything anymore!" Christina seethed. Clenching her fists, and full of vitriol, she spat, "The truth is, I don't need you. You know it, too, and it just kills you."

        For a moment, the tension in Alek's face held. Christina could hear the rising and falling of his agitated breath, and it was as though he was searing the very air about him. And then it broke. Much like Misha's, Alek's face fell, and his shoulders shrank. The man standing before Christina had been as solid as the mountain outside the front door, but in that moment, he crumbled. She could see the hole she'd put in his heart, and just as suddenly as the anger had gripped her body, it fled. Just as after a flood, there was nothing left of her when it was gone.

        "I didn't mean it," Christina cried.

        Alek, again acting as though he could no longer see or hear her, walked past Christina and went to the fire place.

        Christina turned to follow him as he passed, and she again insisted, "I didn't mean what I said! Please, you have to hear me!"

        Full of despair, Alek raised his thick hand, which like the rest of his massive body, now contained the most feeble animation, and touched the picture of Christina that hung on the wall over the fireplace.

        "What are you doing?" she wept. Her heart ached as Alek took her picture off of the wall. He studied it, with tears in his eyes, then he placed it face down on the mantle. "Please don't forget me," Christina whispered through her tears.

        She wanted Alek to hear her, but it was no use. Reaching her arm out, she was convinced that she wouldn't be able to touch him. Full of sorrow, and with no other options left, Christina, left the house.

        The warm summer day felt particularly cruel. She could see the sun in the sky over the field of wild flowers on the side of the mountain. She could see the grass respond to the gentle wind that blew. But she felt no warmth, nor did her hair blow in the breeze.

        Getting into her car, Christina wasn't sure where she was going. It started, and she went down the long gravel driveway. As she sped further away from her home, the road began to twist, and large pines crowded the shoulders.

        Her fingers gripped the steering wheel and her heart was seized by terror. Though it was a clear day, and she saw no one else on the road, she was certain that there was another car in front of her. She felt the unseen vehicle swerve in front of her, and she was sure she was going to crash.

        Christina felt her mind contract; her body didn't budge, but she felt the world fold in around her. She threw the wheel all the way to the right, and pressed hard on both the brake and the accelerator. The tires shrieked and the engine roared, but the car did not change direction. It were as though the car were sliding, and there was nothing Christina could do to alter its course. Then, the front of the car jerked hard to the right and the tail end whipped around to follow it. There was no impact with the unseen automobile, but Christina's car spun uncontrollably until it slammed into an ancient tree on the side of the road.

        Pulling back the strands of blonde hair that blocked her vision, Christina looked through a cracked windshield and saw the empty mountain road. There had never been any other car. She reached out for the steering wheel with her right hand, but stopped when she saw the bright red on her knuckles. Turning her hand over, she saw that her palm was covered in blood. She wasn't sure where it had come from until she felt a painful stab in her right side. She reached down to feel her side, and it seared. Lifting her hand, she saw it was now dripping with blood.

        In a panic, Christina forced open the car door and stumbled out onto the ground. Though a moment ago, it had been a clear day, now she was covered by torrents of water, and the sky was dark. She felt her arms and her legs sink into the mud, and she cried upward at the starless night. The more she struggled, the more she seemed to sink. She fell further into the mire, and it was as though the mud was strangling her. She gasped for breath and struggled futilely.

 

        Gasping for air, Christina rolled off of the bed and smacked against the hardwood floor of her bedroom. Her blankets were twisted around her body, and she had to struggle violently to free her arms. She was covered in sweat, and her heart was racing. As she kicked off her blankets, she realized where she was. Though she couldn't remember what she'd just dreamed, she could not shake the feeling that she'd nearly drowned.

        She looked toward her bedroom door, half expecting Nina or Andrei to burst in at any moment. She waited for what felt like minutes for someone to come to the door, but no one did. Then she heard a scratch on the other side. Christina stood up, straightened out her pajama bottoms, then opened the door. Boris sat on the other side with a curious look on his face.

        She patted his head and said, "Hey, puppy," with a drained voice. Though she was grateful for the German Shepherd's company, she wanted to speak with someone who could speak back. Without stopping to put on her bunny slippers, she went to Nina's door and knocked on it. "Nina?" she called. When there was no answer, she opened the door and found that Nina wasn't there. Her bed had not even been slept in.

        Gripped by the same fear that she felt from her unremembered dream, Christina ran to Andrei's room. She opened the door and turned on the lights. The room was a mess, and the bed was in a terrible state, but she was certain Andrei hadn't slept in his bed, either. Her heart raced as she ran down the stairs. Boris, unsure what was going on, galloped down the stairs after Christina.

        Going to the master bedroom, Christina did not bother to knock. She burst in, only to find that her aunt and uncle were not there. The bed was made and there was no sign of them. Christina was not sure why, but she was terrified. She felt tears forming in her eyes as she went into the living room.

        By the phone, she saw a piece of paper with a phone number written on it. She looked at it, and recognized the note she had written, with the number for her aunt and uncle's hotel room. Sitting down on the couch, Christina remembered. This was the weekend they had gone away for Nina's first Math Olympiad match. It had taken almost the entire two weeks to convince her uncle she could manage the store alone, so that both he and Misha could go with their daughter. The only reason the man relented was because Christina had pointed out a dozen times that Andrei would be around if she needed anything. Of course, the moment after her uncle had left, Christina released her older cousin from that absurd obligation, and had given her blessing for him to stay at Steph's.

        Picking up the phone, Christina started dialing the number for the hotel. She knew that if she could just hear her uncle's voice, everything would be better. Halfway through the number, Christina stopped, then hung up the phone. What was she going to tell him? That she'd had a nightmare? It had taken weeks of pleading with the man to convince him that she was old enough to manage the store for one weekend. How would it look if she called him because she'd had a bad dream? As much as Christina wanted to call her uncle, she didn't want to reinforce his belief that she was still a child.

        Still feeling rattled, Christina looked around the living room and noticed that Boris was sitting on the floor next to her. Getting down on her knees, she hugged the massive dog. "You're sleeping with me tonight," she insisted.

        Grateful for all the attention, Boris wagged his tail.

        Hearing the chime of the antique clock on the wall, Christina realized she had to start the day. She had to get ready and open the store on time. Not only did she want to prove to her uncle that she was capable of running the store in his absence, allowing Misha and Alek to have a weekend off made her feel like a useful part of the family. This was the first time in a very long while that both Alek and Misha had been able to spend time together without worrying about the store.

        Rushing to get ready, Christina took a quick shower and threw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. She spent hardly any time on her hair and makeup, but she slowed down when she retrieved her jewelry box from the nightstand by her bed. She took out the silver cross her uncle had given her on New Year's Eve and clasped it around her neck. Even though her uncle was far away, and she couldn't bring herself to call him, wearing that necklace made her feel as though he was in the room with her. The tightness in her chest relaxed, and she felt she could make it through the day.

 

        Later, while Christina had not quite made it through the entire day, she had made it through the morning. Though her nightmare lingered in the back of her mind, she'd spent most of her day watching the clock. It was the same clock she'd been watching for the past two weeks. There was nothing special about the clock on the wall at the grocery store. It was much like the plain white clocks she remembered from every school she'd attended. As she watched the minute hand crawl from fifty-five to fifty-six, she thought about why people watched clocks.

        The reason was simple, the only thing a clock did was count off time. The real question was, whose time? The answer depended on who was staring at the clock, and why. In this case, the time Christina was counting off was Richard's time. For the past two weeks, while Christina worked, she counted off the minutes that she was working in the store while Diana was spending time in Richard's office.

        All the time she'd spent in classes waiting for the teacher to call recess, all the time she'd spent watching the calendar waiting for summer vacation, all the collective minutes she'd stared at microwave timers waiting for popcorn, none of it compared. There was no clock she'd ever watched that insisted on taking as long to get from one minute to the next as the one she was watching at that moment.

        Fifty-six to fifty-seven. Each day, she took notice of nine o'clock. That was the time when Diana went to the office. She made notice of noon each day. That was likely when they ate together. She also watched the clock for eight at night. That was when Richard would pick her up. Christina made sure that they had dates almost every night. It seemed only right that she should be getting equal time. Starting last Wednesday, she'd moved eight to seven. No harm in squeezing in an extra hour, she thought. Fifty-seven to fifty-eight.

        Two weeks, when a person considers it, is a lot of time, Christina decided. It was a boundless sea of fifty-sevens and fifty-eights. How long could it take to plan a legal case? She imagined that in all the time Diana had spent at Richard's office, they could have cut down the entire forest already; fifty-eight forests, even. Maybe fifty-nine.

        Christina had already arranged a date for tonight. This was Diana's last night in town before she had to go back. This, of course, wasn't the last time she'd be in town. Over the last few weeks, Christina discovered that this wasn't the first time either. Regardless, Christina, petty as it may have been, made sure that Richard was spending this night with her.

        Sixty. It was noon, and Christina couldn't wait any longer. After ringing up the sole person in the grocery store, Christina went to the door and took the "open" sign out of the window. She replaced it with another sign that indicated she'd be back in twenty minutes. Christina had become all too acquainted with time recently. She figured that twenty minutes was more than enough to make her presence felt.

        Going into the back room, Christina turned on the light and opened the door of an old refrigerator. She took out several plastic wrapped sandwiches she'd made earlier in the day and piled them into a wicker basket. On the way back through the front of the store, Christina selected a few pieces of fruit, then got her coat. A few minutes later, she was out in the frosty air and on the way to Richard's office.

        When she'd arrived at Richard's office, Christina paused at the door. What she was doing felt an awful lot like spying. That was probably because that's exactly what it was. Christina had tried to rationalize her visit as an attempt at politeness or a way to take an interest in Richard's work, but she knew that the sandwiches in her basket were nothing more than tasty U-2 spy planes.

        Without bothering to knock, Christina opened the door and called, "Hello," in a manufactured happy tone.

        "Christina," Richard said as he looked up from the desk with the rotary phone, a smile on his face. The desk was covered by open law books and a laptop computer. "I didn't realize you were coming over."

        "I thought I'd surprise you," Christina said as she placed her basket down on a chair. "I made lunch. I can't stay of course, I have to get back to the store, you know." Christina had every intention of staying for lunch, she just wanted Richard to ask.

        Richard came out from behind the desk and took Christina in his arms. As he held her, he said, "This is a very nice surprise indeed."

        Their almost-kiss was interrupted by the sound of high heels on the floor. "Was this the benefit of working out of your home town office?" Diana asked.

        "One of many," Richard answered, "though I was referring specifically to my library," he said as he motioned to the shelves of books. "Christina brought us lunch."

        Diana eyed the sandwiches in the basket. "Oh no," she said too politely, "I simply can't. Atkins, you know. No carbs for me."

        "Right," Christina jousted, "I guess you should focus on losing weight."

        "It's not for the pounds, I prefer the taste of meat."

        Christina had never felt so intimidated by anyone discussing food.

        In an attempt to break the awkward tension, Richard interjected, "I'm certain we can order something appropriate." Motioning towards a chair, he added, "Christina, are you sure you won't stay?"

        "Oh ... I guess I can," she answered, more to Diana than to Richard. She tidied up a portion of the table and started unpacking her basket.

        While Christina went to work cleaning up, Richard handed some photocopied pages to Diana and said, "I think I found something. A few years ago, the legislature amended the law regarding commercial development to make an allowance for smaller, local businesses and individuals. In certain circumstances, it allows for development of as much as a third more acreage."

        Taking the papers, Diana flipped through and asked, "You think we can get Bergman through this loophole?"

        "There's no way," Richard clarified. "They're too large a concern to ever meet the criteria, but I was thinking more along the lines of Liggett versus Lee."

        "... Equal protection," Diana said as she reread the papers. "That could be a possibility."

        Sitting down, Christina stared blankly at the two lawyers and wondered why it sounded as though they were speaking English, when she was sure she didn't understand a word.

        "I'd rather keep that in our back pocket," Richard said. "I think we'd have better luck with something more clear-cut, but we might win with this. I still think that lobbying is the most effective solution."

        "I agree, but they hired us to cover all the angles."

        Christina noticed how well Diana and Richard worked together. Suddenly, she felt extremely insecure and not nearly as sophisticated as the older woman who had Richard's attention. Putting down the sandwich, from which she had yet to take a single bite, Christina said, "You know, I really shouldn't stay. I'm the only one at the store today."

        "Hmm?" Richard said as he looked up from the papers he was reading over Diana's shoulder.

        Standing, Christina said, "I should probably get going."

        "No," Richard insisted," You should stay. We were just about to take a break."

        "Yeah," she said as she shook her head, "That's alright. I'm really not hungry anyway."

        Richard went to Christina as she walked to the door. Holding her, he said, "I'd like it if you stayed."

        "I really can't. I have to go reopen the store."

        "Okay," Richard conceded. "But we're still on for tonight? Dinner and a movie?"

        "Yeah," she answered with a grin.

        Richard gave Christina a long kiss before he walked her to the door and saw her out.

 

        Christina was almost certain she shouldn't be standing where she was standing at that very moment. She'd spent the entire afternoon helping people in the store while wondering what was going on at Richard's office. She had some time to check the stock in the back while she thought about what Diana and Richard were talking about, and also to restock while she agonized over how they just seemed to click. When she wasn't secretly thinking about these things, she was explicitly talking about them with Steph on the phone. It made her stomach do back flips, but that was nothing compared to the knot in her belly that she felt as she stood at Richard's side as he opened to the door to his house and led her inside.

        As Richard took her coat, Christina said, "When you said a movie, I thought you meant at the movie theater."

        Hanging her coat on the rack by the door, Richard responded, "I thought we'd try something different tonight."

        Stepping down the three stairs from the landing to the living room, Christina was a bit overwhelmed. The ceiling stood at the full height of the two story home, making the room feel impossibly tall. Looking at the wooden beams and the giant windows, Christina couldn't shake the feeling that she was standing in the middle of a ski lodge, instead of a person's house.

        "You live here?" Christina gasped.

        "Yes."

        "Alone?"

        "Yes," Richard repeated.

        "What made you pick this place? The echo?"

        "You don't like it?" Richard laughed.

        "Like it? This is the nicest house I've ever been in."

        Taking Christina by the waist, he said, "You're far and away the best occupant the building has ever had, so it's even." He left Christina at the couch then went to an enormous flat screen television framed by expensive home theater speakers. Holding up a few DVDs, he asked, "What are you in the mood for?"

        "Oh ... anything I guess," Christina said as she looked around uncomfortably.

        "What's wrong?"

        "... um ..." Christina answered. Richard's expression indicated that more than "um" was required, so she continued, "I'm in your house ... and you're in your house."

        "And?"

        "... and no one else is in your house. I'm not sure I'm allowed to be here."

        "Who gets to decide that?" Richard laughed.

        "I suppose I do ... in the abstract."

        Richard started the movie then went over to his date. "It's fine." Richard assured her. "We're just watching a movie. That's all."

        "... in your house."

        Laughing again, Richard remarked, "You do have a strong grasp on geography." Seeing the unamused look on Christina's face, Richard hurriedly went on, "It's just a movie. I promise. If it makes you uncomfortable ..."

        "No," Christina interrupted. "I'm being silly."

        Richard sat down on a long, L-shaped couch and waited for Christina. He chuckled a bit to himself when the girl picked the chair the furthest distance away and sat down. "How's the weather over there?" he asked.

        "What?" Christina said as she looked away from the opening credits.

        "I said, how's the weather?" Richard repeated with a smile.

        Blushing, Christina said, "... um, it's just peachy."

        Patting the couch next to him, Richard said, "Why not try it out over here?"

        Christina stood up and straightened her sweater. Somewhat hesitantly, she walked across the living room and sat on the couch a few feet away from Richard.

        Richard lay back against the L-corner so that he was sitting entirely on the couch, facing the television. He noticed how Christina was making sure to stare at the screen, completely ignoring him.

        "Hi," Richard said playfully to his date.

        Looking back at him, Christina responded, "Hi."

        Bending over, Richard reached out and took Christina by the hips. He leaned back and pulled the girl entirely onto the couch until her back was resting against his chest.

        "Hi," he repeated.

        "Heya," she responded, somewhat surprised.

        Richard wrapped his arms around Christina's waist and held her. Seeing her expression, Richard leaned his head over and kissed her on her lips.

        Allowing herself to relax in Richard's arms, Christina kissed the older man back. "Hi," she smiled as Richard withdrew.

        "How's the weather over here?" he asked.

        "Better than peachy," she joked, before kissing Richard again. She rested her head against Richard's chest and yawned as she resumed watching the movie.

        "Do you want to watch something else?" Richard asked.

        "No, this is fine."

        "Why the yawn?"

        Letting out a long exhale, Christina explained, "I didn't sleep very well last night. And when I got up, I was all alone in the house and I guess it just freaked me out a little."

        "You're always welcome to stay here."

        "Yeah, right," Christina laughed. "I think my uncle would kill me. You too. And probably not in that order."

        "He is out of town, you know," Richard said in an only half serious tone.

        "I don't think so," Christina laughed. Yawning again, she asked, "Do you like working with Diana?"

        Clearing his throat, he answered, "She's an excellent lawyer."

        "I can tell." Christina frowned, "She seems really smart." After a moment she whispered, "... all I do is work in a grocery store."

        Giving her a gentle squeeze, he said, "... and take care of everyone else around you." Feeling the younger girl shrug, Richard kissed her on the side of her neck.

        Smiling in spite of herself, Christina turned her face to meet Richard's and they softly made out while the ignored movie continued in the background. When their lips finally parted, Christina let out another yawn.

        "I guess I'm losing my touch," Richard joked.

        "I'm sorry," Christina apologized. "This must be the worst date ever, I'm so sleepy."

        Guiding her head back to his chest, Richard said, "I'd say this is our best date ever. Best non-fake date."

        "I'll beat you up," Christina yawned as she closed her eyes.

 

        Unsure of how long her eyes had been closed, she tried to focus on the television and saw the unmistakable outline of credits crawling up the screen. "Did I fall asleep?"

        "A little," Richard laughed.

        Realizing that she had been laying on Richard, unconscious, she nervously sat up and checked herself. Her mind panicked. Did he feel her fake breasts? What about her jeans? Did he go exploring there? How could she let this happen, she shouted in her brain as her heart raced.

        Feeling rough fingers on her chin, her face was directed back towards Richard's and the man pulled her into a long kiss. Closing her eyes, Christina parted her lips and relaxed.

        "It's okay," Richard assured her. I don't mind that you feel asleep. It was rather nice holding you."

        Realizing that her secret was still safe, she smiled at the man. Her moment of contentment was abruptly halted when she asked, "What time is it?"

        Looking at the clock on the home theater system, Richard responded, "About two past ten."

        "What?" Christina shrieked as she stumbled off of the couch. "Are you kidding me? I have to go!"

        "Princess," Richard laughed.

        "No!" Christina insisted as she pointed towards the door. "I'm supposed to be home already!"

        "No one is there to check up on you tonight."

        Christina stared at the man as though he'd just said the most moronic thing she'd ever heard.

        "Okay," Richard surrendered as rose from the couch. He took Christina by the waist and led her to the front door. After helping her with her coat, he escorted her to the car and got in beside her.

        As he drove the girl home, he said, "I know you have a special relationship with your uncle, but at some point, he's going to have to start treating you like an adult."

        "He treats me like an adult," Christina balked.

        "Princess, he treats you like you're twelve years old."

        "He does not," Christina defended. "He just ..." Exhaling in frustration, she clarified, "He has standards, is all."

        Richard did not push the subject further. When he stopped the car in the Levchenkos' driveway, he got out and rushed around to Christina's door to open it for her. Helping her out of the car, he walked beside her to the front porch.

        "Are you going to be okay here alone tonight?" Richard asked.

        "Now who's treating me like a little girl?" Christina teased.

        Rolling his eyes, Richard flirted, "Never let it be said that I underestimate you." He reached his hand down and cupped Christina's bottom as he pulled her into a goodnight kiss.

        After the kiss ended, they said their goodnights, and Christina went inside to find Boris waiting for her.

        "Heya, puppy!" She yawned as she took off her coat. Boris trotted behind her as she ascended the stairs and went into her bedroom. Upon entering the room, she felt strangely alert. Perhaps it was the memory of that morning, or something else. Whatever it was, Christina did not feel much like sleeping.

        Still, she stripped out of her sweater and jeans and put on a green satin chemise. Usually she would have removed her silver cross, but for some reason, she kept it on. Wiping her eyes, Christina looked at her bed and dreaded the prospect of getting in.

        Looking down at the large dog by her side, Christina said, "This isn't gonna work." She gathered up the blankets and pillows from her bed and stuffed them under her arm. Maneuvering around the room, she selected a few magazines and a bottle of nail polish. Struggling not to trip on the blanket, she went back downstairs and deposited all the items on the couch in the living room. Scanning the dark room, she wished that her family owned a television set. With no other option, she searched the living room and eventually found some very old paperback books. She sighed as she took a tattered copy of "The Catcher in the Rye" from a low shelf and dropped it on the couch next to her magazines.

        Before settling in, she checked the answering machine and was disappointed to see that there were no messages. Her uncle had already called her before her date that night, and she was sure that her aunt had prevented him from calling to check up on her. She almost wished the man had caught her coming in late, if only it meant she could hear his voice.

        Christina arranged her nail polish, magazines, and book on the coffee table and pulled the blanket over herself. As usual, Boris watched the girl with great interest. When he saw that she was settled, he lay at the foot of the couch and rested his head.

        Reaching over, Christina took her bottle of nail polish and started applying it to her left hand. She focused on painting each nail bright pink as she tried to ignore the fright that had seized her that morning.

        After her left fingers were finished, Christina shook her hand then blew gently on her nails. She stared at them rather than starting on her right hand. It was going to be a long night, and she wanted to stretch this activity out as long as she could.

        Once her left hand was actually dry, she started on her right. The ticking of the antique clock on the wall bounced off every corner of the room, and she found that fear was again growing in her gut as she attempted to distract herself.

        As her right hand began to dry, Christina reached over for the telephone. She picked up the receiver and began to dial the number for her uncle's hotel room. Half-way through, she again hung up the phone and complained, "This is ridiculous."

        Looking around the room, she heard nothing but the echoes of the ticking clock. She began to breathe a little faster and she reached for the phone again. She was about to dial the hotel, but decided to dial Richard's number instead. She twisted the phone cord in her fingers as she listened to the ring tones.

        "Hello?" Richard finally answered.

        "Hey," Christina said, relived to hear another voice. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

        "No," he assured the girl. "But I thought you'd be asleep by now."

        "Who is it?" said a familiar woman's voice in the background.

        There was a pregnant silence, after which Christina asked, "Is Diana there?"

        "Yes," Richard dismissed. "We had a few last minute things to go over before she leaves tomorrow."

        Again there was the silence. "She's at your place right now ..."

        "Princess ..." Richard admonished.

        "No, that's fine." Christina snapped. "I was just calling because ... it doesn't matter."

        "Christina, we should talk about-"

        "You know," Christina interrupted, "I have to go. I have to let Boris out. It's a potty emergency."

        Hearing his name, the dog looked up at Christina and cocked his head.

        "Work with me," she whispered to the dog.

        Wagging his tail, he let out a short baritone howl.

        "... Princess, it's just business. We can talk about it tomorrow."

        "Sure," Christina answered sarcastically. "Yeah so, I have to go. Bye." She hung up the phone then leaned over to scratch Boris' head. "You still like me the best, right?" she asked the dog.

        Boris answered only with his wagging tail.

        Christina was again alone. She started to shiver a little under the blanket, and looked towards the empty fireplace. Getting up, she went to the stack of wood and picked up a small, cut log. She looked at the fireplace, then towards Boris. "How hard could it be?" she asked the German Shepherd.

        The dog watched as Christina stacked a few logs in the fireplace, doing her best to mimic her uncle. Once they were in place, she looked around the mantle for something to light the logs. Finding a propane lighter, she bent over and attempted to ignite the edge of one of the logs. The corner of the log glowed bright red, and smoked a bit, but the fire didn't last when Christina extinguished the lighter. She tried a few more times, but eventually gave up. She'd never actually started a fire before, and only now she realized how little attention she'd paid all the times she'd watched either Alek or Andrei.

        Placing the lighter back on the mantle, she rubbed her hands together. She was looking forward to the fire not only to keep warm, but to have something to focus on other than the tingle that was creeping down her spine.

        "I got it," she announced to the dog. Going into the bathroom across from the master bedroom, she returned with her aunt's hair dryer. When she came back, she saw Boris sitting in the middle of the room with his back to her, looking upward at something. She stopped in her tracks and watched the dog. His head tilted from side to side the way it always did when she was speaking to him.

        "Hey," she whispered.

        Boris looked over his shoulder at the girl.

        "What are you doing?" she asked the dog.

        Getting up Boris trotted over to her and wagged his tail.

        Christina stopped holding her breath and scratched under the dog's chin. "I'm already freaked out tonight," she joked.

        Boris followed her as she plugged the hair dryer into the wall then got back under the blanket. Hearing a creaking noise, Christina's muscles tightened and she scanned the room.

        Boris sat up and his ears stood erect. The fact that the dog was looking around the room only made Christina feel more apprehensive.

        "It's just an old house ..." Christina reassured the dog, though she said it more for her own benefit.

        She tensed up as Boris got up and walked cautiously into the kitchen.

        Holding the hair dryer in front of her as though it were a gun, Christina whispered, "Don't do that! That's what they do in horror movies, and it's always a bad idea!"

        The silence seemed to stretch out for an hour, and then was cut by the loud noise of someone at the side door. Christina tensed up and held the hair dryer out further. She heard the tapping of Boris' claws on the floor as he trotted carelessly back into the living room. A large silhouette followed him in the darkness, and Christina exhaled when she saw Andrei emerge from the kitchen.

        He paused on the edge of the living room, then asked, "What's with the hair dryer?"

        Christina looked at the hair dryer then put it down in her lap. "You scared the bejesus out of me!" she said in a shrill whisper.

        "Sorry," Andrei apologized as he took off his heavy parka and walked across the room.

        Christina noticed how tired her older cousin looked as he hung his coat by the door. She also saw that his jeans and shirt had blotches of motor oil on them.

        "Why are you awake?" Andrei asked as he walked to the couch, "And what's the deal with the hair dryer?"

        "I couldn't start the fireplace," Christina explained.

        Looking over at the haphazardly stacked pile of wood, Andrei offered, "I could-"

        "No, it's okay," Christina interrupted. "Hey," she said playfully, "take your clothes off."

        "Excuse me?" Andrei asked with a raised eyebrow.

        Rolling her eyes, Christina clarified, "Take off your greasy clothes. Keep your underwear on."

        Andrei's eyebrow made no downward movement as he continued to stare at his cousin.

        "Come on," Christina insisted as she held up the end of the blanket. "I want to show you something."

        "Fine," he sighed as he stripped to his boxer shorts and t-shirt. As usual, Andrei left his jeans and his shirt on a pile in the middle of the room and sat on the couch next to Christina. "Now what?" he asked.

        Christina slid next to her cousin and guided his large arm over her shoulders. She then fitted the blanket tightly around her body and her older cousin's. Once she was certain she had sealed them in, she held open the top of the blanket between them. "Check this out," she bragged.

        Turning the hair dryer on high, Christina blew hot air under the blanket and Andrei felt a very comfortable warmth envelop his body.

        "That's ... kinda nice," he admitted.

        "I know, right?" Christina ran the dryer for a while before turning it off. She quickly sealed the top of the blanket and snuggled close to Andrei.

        "I used to do this in my bed some nights during the winter. Especially when I couldn't afford to heat the whole apartment all night."

        The heat quickly dissipated through the blanket, and Christina complained, "That's the only downside. It doesn't last."

        When Christina saw the expression on her cousin's face, she frowned, "Don't look at me like that."

        "Like what?" Andrei bluffed.

        "Like I was living in a hovel."

        Andrei smiled warmly at his cousin and pulled her closer. "I wasn't thinking that," he lied. "I like your hair dryer game."

        Christina smiled and ran the hair drier again, renewing the pleasant warmth under the blanket. When she turned it off, she placed the dryer down and resealed the blanket.

        "What are you doing home?" she asked. "I thought you'd be at Steph's again."

        "We ... sorta had a fight."

        "Another one?" Christina asked with a concerned voice. "What's going on, Andrei?"

        Andrei had the same look on his face he always had that said he had no intention of talking, but then his shoulders sank and he admitted, "Steph thinks I'm putting working at the garage before spending time with her."

        "You are spending a lot of time working," Christina offered, "and it's not like you even like it."

        "You don't understand," he complained.

        "I don't" Christina agreed.

        Andrei let out a long sigh. "Richard ..." he started. "He has a nice car ... a good job ... a house."

        "My god, it's huge!" Christina interrupted. She held her tongue when she saw the demoralizing effect her statement had on her cousin.

        He eventually continued, "He can offer you all those things. He can take care of you. ... I don't have anything to offer Steph."

        "What?"

        "I'm still live at home," he complained. "All this time I've been working in the barn ... I don't have anything to show for it."

        "Andrei ..."

        "I need to save up some money ... move out at least."

        "Andrei ..." Christina was shocked to see just how sad Andrei looked.

        Andrei confessed, "... I just don't know why ... Steph would want to be with me."

        "Oh Andrei," Christina said tenderly, "I can't believe you even said that. I mean, YOU'RE the reason Steph would want to be with you."

        "You can't understand," Andrei said. "It's different for guys."

        "I know better than you could imagine. I know what it's like to feel that way. I know how it is to work all the time just to try and tread water. And I know what it's like to want to take care of ..." Christina trailed off as she replayed her relationship with Amy in her mind. She had killed herself working in the city to pay for the majority of their rent and all of the utilities. It never seemed like there was enough money to cover everything, so she always worked harder. Only now, hearing her older cousin voice the same feelings of inadequacy, did she see that the harder she worked, the more distant she and Amy had grown. "... I'm so stupid ... " she whispered in realization.

        "What?"

        "Andrei," Christina insisted, "You can't think that way. Steph is in love with you. I know the other stuff feels like a really big deal, but it's not. It's more important that you let her know how you feel."

        Andrei hung his head and sulked.

        "Hey," Christina said, causing Andrei to look at her, "You are the greatest guy in the whole world. In the entire universe even. If you weren't my second cousin, I would date you."

        Looking back down into his lap, Andrei smiled. "We're third cousins," his said.

        "Really?"

        He looked back at Christina, still smiling, and nodded. "I looked it up."

        "You did?" Christina laughed. "If we weren't third cousins ... Seriously, you are the best, and I love you. I know Steph does too."

        Andrei only nodded his head in response. After a while, he asked, "So why aren't you asleep?"

        Christina shrugged as if it were no big deal. "I had a nightmare last night," she said through a week grin.

        "About what?"

        Shaking her head, Christina said, "I don't remember."

        Consoling his cousin, Andrei said, "It can't be that bad if you don't even remember."

        Christina's grin faded into a frown and she said, "It was really bad. And when I woke up ... I forgot that everyone was gone." A tear started to form in the corner of her eye. "I dunno what the deal is. I mean, I lived alone in the city for like, forever. But I don't think I'm very good at it anymore."

        Andrei pulled Christina tightly against him, and gave her a mighty squeeze.

        "I'm really glad you're home tonight," she whispered.

        "I shouldn't have stayed at Steph's last night," he apologized.

        "I told you it was okay."

        "I should have been here," he insisted.

        "It's no big deal," Christina said as she wiped her eye. She showed Andrei her pink fingernails and smiled. "I know how to keep busy. I was just about to start on my toes when you got in."

        "Ah," Andrei said as he admired Christina's hands. "I got here just in time." He reached over and took the bottle of nail polish, then removed Christina's left leg from the blanket and draped it over his lap.

        "What are you doing?" she laughed.

        "Hold still," he insisted as he opened the bottle. He carefully started applying the polish to Christina's big toe, causing her to giggle.

        "This isn't your first time," she laughed.

        "I may have done this for Steph a few times."

        "I guess I'm in good company then."

        Andrei finished with the large toe and moved on to the next one.

        As he worked, he commented, "You have big feet for a girl."

        "What?"

        "Nothing, it's just that your feet are a little big."

        Christina frowned, and she slid her leg onto the ground.

        "I ..." she stuttered as tears formed in her eyes.

        "Hey," Andrei apologized. "I was just kidding!"

        Christina hid her foot under the blanket and looked away.

        "Don't cry," Andrei implored. Reaching down, he lifted Christina's foot back into his lap. "They're just bigger than Steph's, is all," he clarified. Christina still looked distraught, and he added, "But you're a lot taller than she is." That too, did nothing to calm his cousin. Andrei lifted Christina's leg and his kissed her foot. "Your feet are perfect," he insisted. "I love them."

        Christina cleared her nose and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

        "Don't be sorry." Andrei smiled warmly and resumed painting Christina's toes.

        "I ... I ... just ..."

        "It's okay," Andrei insisted. After he finished each toe, he started to blow on them. "You know how you say I don't like to talk?"

        Christina nodded.

        "You're right. I hate it. But I feel better when I talk to you. Because I know I can tell you anything."

        "You can," Christina agreed.

        "Because I know you won't judge me."

        "I would never."

        "And it goes both ways." Andrei looked Christina in the eyes and continued, "When Dad and I went to the city to get you, I saw your apartment ... and where you worked ... but I couldn't figure it out."

        "... Figure what out?" Christina asked uneasily.

        "The thing. Whatever the thing is that you think you can't tell anyone."

        "Andrei ..."

        "I know that there's some really big thing."

        "Remember when you thought I wasn't your cousin?"

        "Yes."

        "And remember the next day, you told me that whatever the problem was, it didn't matter?"

        "It doesn't."

        "So just let it go," Christina pleaded.

        Andrei took Christina's hand in his and said, "Christina, there is nothing you could tell me that would make me not love you anymore."

        Christina smiled at her cousin and whispered, "I know. I really know that. You are the most loyal person I've ever met, and I honestly know there's nothing that could ever change that." It looked for a moment as though Andrei were about to say something, but Christina continued, "You know I think of you as my brother, right?"

        "You're just like my sister-"

        "I know, and I like it that way."

        "... I don't understand."

        "I like the way things are right now."

        "... nothing would-"

        "Andrei, I know you'll always love me no matter what. I do, but I don't ever want you to think of me as anything but your sister ... so I'm asking you to forget about it."

        He objected, "Christina-"

        "Please."

        "Okay," he sighed.

        Taking her foot off his lap, Christina leaned over and kissed Andrei on the cheek. After waiting for a moment, Christina lifted her other leg into Andrei's lap and announced, "When you're done with my right foot, I'm going to bed."

        Andrei eventually smiled and said, "You got it."

        After Andrei had finished painting Christina's toes and the polished had dried, he walked her to her room and hugged her goodnight. Boris, who had shadowed them upstairs, insisted on following Christina into her room.

        Once Christina was inside, she stared at the computer that had sat unused in the corner of her room since she had returned home. While ideas circulated in her mind, Boris jumped up onto Christina's bed and lay down.

        Ignoring the dog, Christina hoisted her monitor onto her vanity, then arranged her computer on the floor next to it. She crawled onto the floor and started connecting all the wires. In all the time she'd been home, she'd never once thought of using her computer. That changed in an instant; now that she had a plan.

        Boris raised an eyelid when the pale light from the monitor crossed his face, seeing Christina sitting at the vanity, typing away.

---

Edited into coherence by Holly H. Hart.
Thanks to Sephrena Miller for taking an early read.
Hope you enjoyed it. If you liked it or hated it, please leave a tasty comment.
Krunch Away!