Rules Are Rules: 13. It Gets Personal

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He stopped walking. "How can you ask me that? Have you ever looked at yourself? I mean, it isn't even that... I don't know. How could I pass up a chance to be with you? I remember the first time I saw you, when I was walking up the stairs from the basketball court, and I saw you, lost, in that cute little dress...," he was grinning, and I had to smile too. I could see that moment in my mind, too. "I had to talk to you. I had to try to go out with you. I couldn't not try. I really like you."

Rules Are Rules: A Marcie Donner Story, by Kaleigh Way

 
13. It Gets Personal

 

After dinner, Mrs. Auburn asked me, "Is there anyone you need to call? Doesn't your aunt need to know where you are?"

"She's out tonight with friends," I said, "but I ought to call Alice. She's going shopping with me tomorrow."

Mrs. Auburn brought me to a quiet room and pointed out the phone.

Alice sounded glad to hear from me. I asked about Mr. Bruce. Alice told me he was fine, and was coming home from the hospital on Tuesday.

"Do you want to come with me tomorrow to visit him?" she asked. "He wants to see you."

"Uh," I hesitated. I didn't want to go, but what could I say?

"Come on, I told him all about you! Don't worry, he won't spoil your secret!"

"Okay, then," I agreed — there was no way out of it!

Alice said she'd come pick me up at 8:00 AM. "Be ready!" she said. "Eat a big breakfast! It's going to be a long day."

I explained about the baby and the stroller. She laughed and said she didn't think it would be a problem. Little did she know!

After the phone call, I returned to the living room to find Jerry and Cassie clearing the table. I moved to help them, but Mr. Auburn said, "No, no. You relax. Take a seat. Guests don't work in this house."

"I can't sit here and watch somebody else work," I protested.

"You could read to me some more," Nina suggested.

I did want to know what happened to the girls in Pish Posh, so I sat down with her. She held the doll while I read. The baby cried, and just like last time, I held out my wrist so she could insert the key in the doll's back.

While we waited for the crying to stop, Nina asked, "What's a tomboy?"

"It's a girl who acts like a boy and dresses like a boy."

"And you do that?"

"I used to do that."

"Why?"

Cassie had stopped to listen, and she — never one to miss a chance to tease — echoed Nina's question. "Yes, Marcie, why did you dress like a boy?"

I sighed. What could I say? "I don't know," I said. "I guess I didn't like girly stuff, dresses, dolls..."

"And now you're making up for it," Cassie smirked, gesturing at the doll in Nina's lap.

"I guess so."

Nina had another question. "Why did you stop?"

Cassie's eyebrows rose. "Now that's an interesting question! Marcie, please tell us, why did you stop dressing like a boy?"

These Auburns were such terrible teases! Cassie was ten times worse than Jerry. At the same time, I didn't really mind. She didn't seem mean. The teasing was a family thing, so it was her weird way of welcoming me, or something like that.

"Well, uh, I grew up," I answered.

"So what?" Nina objected. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"When a girl grows up," I began, lamely, "um..."

"Go on," Cassie prompted. "What happens when a girl grows up?"

"Well..."

Nina looked at me expectantly. Was there any non-embarrassing way out of this? I didn't want to explain about how a girl's body changes! Suddenly, I was inspired.

"She outgrows it!" I concluded. "So I grew up, I outgrew being a tomboy. Okay?"

"Okay!" Nina said.

Cassie frowned, disappointed, and returned to clearing the table.

"Excellent save, Marcie," Mr. Auburn commented.


The next time the baby finished crying, I decided it was time to head home. Of course, Jerry came with me.

"That was nice of you to read to Nina," he said. "You got big points for that with mom and dad."

"I like her," I said, "Plus, the book was pretty good!"

"I'm sure she'll let you borrow it," he teased.

"Seriously, I would like that."

He laughed and said he'd ask her. "On second thought, you can ask her Monday, when you bring the stroller back."

"Okay," I shrugged. "It's a date."

"Hmm," he said. "A date on the calendar? Or a date-date?"

"You can't tease me with that any more," I declared, laughing. "You have to figure it out yourself."

"Hmm," he said. "You're not getting immune to me, are you?"

"Let me put it this way: It was nice to see you blush for a change," I said.

"Oh, yeah," he said. "Cassie can be a gigantic pain."

"She's nice. I really like your family."

He smiled.

Although I'd been talking, I was thinking too. The Auburns are nice people. Jerry is a nice guy. And here am I, deceiving them, deceiving him, using him as a shield from other boys... It wasn't right... was it?

When I decided to "be" a girl, I was mainly thinking about the clothes, but with the clothes came a way of relating to others. Was it right to fool people like this?

"Jerry, I have to talk to you about something..." I ventured.

"I'm all ears."

"We've only known each other for two days..."

"Really? It seems longer, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Wasn't it weird? How could I have gotten so deep into being Marcie? Maybe it wasn't a role I was playing — it sure didn't feel like I was acting. I was sincere, just being me. And yet, it's a different me. How could I be attracted to Jerry? Certainly I wouldn't be so flirty if I were dressed as a boy. I'm sure I'm not gay, but it's like, when I put on a dress... well, I feel like a girl! Maybe I'm just going with my feelings more than I usually would?

"Marcie? Marcie? What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Um, you know I'm going to be moving at the end of the year, right?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I wish you weren't."

"I wish I wasn't, too, but unless my parents can't find a house, I'll be gone."

"Let's hope they don't find a house, then."

"Yeah," I said softly. "But, they will. And I'll be gone. How can you get involved with me if you know it's going to end soon?"

He stopped walking. "How can you ask me that? Have you ever looked at yourself? I mean, it isn't even that... I don't know. How could I pass up a chance to be with you? I remember the first time I saw you, when I was walking up the stairs from the basketball court, and I saw you, lost, in that cute little dress...," he was grinning, and I had to smile too. I could see that moment in my mind, too. "I had to talk to you. I had to try to go out with you. I couldn't not try. I really like you."

"I really like you, too," I replied.

"People date. A lot of the time — maybe most of the time — it doesn't work out. Does that mean people shouldn't date?"

"No," I admitted.

"We all have to try. We never know what could happen. Your father might get a job next month in Tierson, and then you'd be stuck with me." He smiled his sunny smile. I had to smile back.

"Okay," I said. "So, we'll see what happens."

"Don't worry about the future," he said. "Just enjoy the present."

"Okay," I said. "But I have to tell my aunt about you. I can't be sneaky about this."

© 2006, 2007 by Kaleigh Way



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