This post is about the closest friend I have in the world FO. I have known him for about seventeen years; we have been through a lot together and always stuck with each other. No one in my life knows about me but last night that changed. I don’t have to tell you folks that depression is a mighty powerful thing, the only outlet I have in my life to be me is this wonderful site and the friends I have made here. I had been getting less and less sleep because of nightmares and depression along with the day(ugh)job being a bitch. I have been debating telling FO for awhile. I know I can’t tell any of my family or friends but he is special we have always called each other brothers. I thought with the amount of trust we have for one another he was the only one I could talk to and tell. I actually thought it dishonest for me not to share this with him since it is the biggest secret I have and I know pretty much all of his. So last night we went for dinner at a small family owned Mexican/Chinese restraint, trust me it’s good and has been around for decades. In a small booth in the back I asked him if he would ever leave me (our friendship) he said he never would no matter what was wrong. He said that we could work through anything and he would always be there to back me up. I proceeded to tell him of my problem and how I had been hiding all my life keeping my true self away from the surface. He was a bit surprised to say the least he remarked that I indeed was in a mess and asked if he could say three things without interruption. I said of course and waited for disaster I could not read the look on his face when normally I can read him like a book. In order he said 1. This explains your liking of Abba and Broadway musicals. 2. As I look back through the years I can see it. 3. I don’t have a brother any more (my face fell at this) I have a sister and I don’t know her name, he knows my name now. I dropped him off at his house he gave me a very big hug and told me to be careful going home and not to do anything drastic with out checking with him first, I agreed. The weight of nearly forty years on my shoulders the pain all just got a little bit lighter. As I was driving home I got a text from him it was a picture of one of those e-cards that are all the rage on f-book it said: “I hope we’re friends until we die. And then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people” and the message was “ghost friends for ever!” He is the coolest guy I know and I love him very much.