No one in my life knows about my inside/outside issues, so I guess I'm in hiding. This causes me a lot of anxiety and I tend to overcompensate my male persona. So it really gets me in a big blue funk and I feel even worse when my very narcissistic family members call me to bitch about each other. I am not the one that can fix it all I'm barely holding myself together. I do feel I am treated differently than my sisters I am the only one who still actually has a job, I am adopted, I don't have any children, and I am the oldest. Being all of these things makes me the dumping ground for the family, at least that's what it feels like. So this oppressive weight on my shoulders (the family) picked today to duke it out with each other through me. That's not to mention the wife having her problems the job (will working more since we lost a tech to Apple) and my own depression and gender issues like I said in the title Argh! Ok I'm done rambling on just needed to vent. The good thing about a blog is you don't have to read it, maybe that should have been the title.