Father Mulroney gets an earful when Trip-come-Kimberly bares her soul in confession.

by Valentina Michelle Smith

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Part 2

 

Summertime at St. Stephen’s meant longer hours for Father Mulroney. The town’s population swelled every summer as city folk fled the concrete paved urban heat for the welcome shade of the country. There were a number of vacation homes and lakefront communities nearby, and Father Mulroney’s small parish was the only Catholic Church in the area.

The situation had it s advantages. The collection was definitely larger in the summer months, and he was grateful for the extra funds. It meant that several families who otherwise couldn’t afford it could send their children to the parish school, and last summer it meant a new roof for the church and the rectory. But the extra money came at a price. He and the Pastor, Father Krasley, each had to say an additional Sunday mass, and Saturday Confessions were extended an extra hour, from 7:00 PM until 9:00 PM.

Father Mulroney really did not mind the extra work. This was, after all, why he had become a priest. He had no ambitions beyond a parish of his own some day and perhaps the red trim of a Monsignor for his cassock. But he was a humble man, accepting of God’s will, and content to do the Lord’s work in this small town.

He slid back the partition in the confessional, the screen obscuring any view of the penitent. A child’s voice said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last confession.”

Father Mulroney smiled despite himself. There was something about hearing a child confess that brought a special joy to his heart. This little girl who probably had made her First Communion only a year ago was now baring her heart to God. He could not help but to be touched by the naiveté of a youngster who thought that sassing back her mother was probably the most evil thing she could do. Surely enough, the child confessed to being “…disobedient, three times, and I lied twice.”

“Were they really bad lies?” he asked.

“Well,” she said, “I used some of my big sister’s make-up and didn’t ask her permission. And when she asked me I told her I didn’t”

“So you also stole some of your sister’s make-up. Did you ever tell her the truth?”

“Yes, Father. She was kind of angry at me, but then she said that it was okay as long as I asked her first. And then she let me try some.”

“Well, it seems like you have a really nice sister. She must love you a lot.”

“Yes, Father, and I love her too.”

“That’s a very nice thing. You know Jesus loves you, too, and he loves it when sisters can work out their problems and forgive each other. Jesus wants to forgive you too, my child. Now for your penance, say three Hail Mary’s and I want you to make an Act of Contrition.”

“Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry…” she began to pray, repeating a prayer the nuns had made her memorize. Father Mulroney repeated the words of Absolution, a ritual he could probably perform in his sleep, but which never failed to inspire him. A child of God was now returning to the state of grace. What could be more wonderful?

“Now go in peace, my child,” said the priest.

“Thank you, Father,” she answered. The door slid closed. Father Mulroney turned to the other side and slid the door open.

“Bless me, Father,” said a somewhat older voice, “for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last confession.” She paused.

“Go on, my child. What’s on your mind?’

“Father, I got angry with my little sister and I yelled at her. She used some of my make-up and I got angry. I know I shouldn’t have gotten mad, I mean she’s only eight years old, but I just got angry and I yelled at her. I’m sorry.”

“Did you apologize to her?” the priest asked.

“Yes, Father. I told her I was sorry, and I said that if she really wanted to try my make-up she could, but she had to ask me first. Is that wrong, Father?”

“Well, anger is a natural feeling, and even Jesus felt angry sometimes. But anger is not something to hold on to, and you did the right thing by letting your anger go. You must love your little sister a lot.”

“Well, Father, sometimes she can be a real pain in the neck, but she’s really a nice sister and I do love her.”

“That’s very nice. Now do you have any other sins to confess?”

“Well, Father, I called my Daddy a big jerk.”

Father Mulroney had to pinch himself to keep from laughing. He went on in a somewhat stern voice, “You know that’s not a good thing. You don’t really think your father is a big jerk, do you?”

“No, Father. He’s a really good Dad, and he works real hard. I was just feeling really selfish, and it was wrong of me to say it.”

“Yes it was. Have you apologized to him?”

“I didn’t say it to him, Father. I said it to my mother when she called him a big jerk.”

Now Father Mulroney had to bite his tongue. “I do hope your mother corrected you.”

“She did, Father. She said I shouldn’t talk about Daddy that way.”

“And well you should not! Your mother was right, wasn’t she?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Are you sorry you said such a hateful thing?”

“Yes, Father.”

“This is good. Jesus will forgive you, my child. Now is there anything else on your mind?”

“Well, Father,…” Father Mulroney could hear the hesitation in her voice. Perhaps he had been too stern with her.

“My child, there is nothing to fear. Jesus wants to forgive your sins, and I want to forgive them too. All you need to do is confess, and the burden of your sin is lifted. It will be washed away, and there is no sin so evil that it cannot be forgiven. All you have to do is ask.”

“Father, sometimes when I’m alone at night, in bed, I have these, well, these impure thoughts. And when this happens, sometimes I touch myself.”

“Oh? Where do you touch? Don’t be afraid, my child, I’m not going to yell at you.”

“I touch my private parts, Father.”

“I see. Do you just touch them and pull your hand away?”

“No, Father, I keep touching them, and I touch them until, well, until things begin to happen.”

“Oh. And do you let these ‘things’ happen?”

“Yes, Father.”

“And how do you feel when you are finished?”

“It feels good, but I’m also ashamed of myself. I know I shouldn’t do these things, but I do them and it’s like I can’t stop myself.”

“All right, I think I understand.” Father Mulroney composed himself for the lecture.

“My child, God has a wonderful plan for all of us, and He created us to fulfill this plan. He has created us with our special body parts for a special reason, and that reason is to bring new life to the world. And God made the function of these parts pleasurable that we, His children, would be happy in this task.

“When you give yourself the pleasure that God reserves for a husband and a wife, you are falling away from His divine plan. I know that this is difficult, but God calls us to remain chaste and to save our body for His special purpose.

“Right now your body is awakening to its new purpose, and it wants to take part in this beautiful act. But you must be strong. You must resist.”

“I’m sorry, Father.”

“I know you are, and God knows that you are, too. He knows that we are all weak, and that we will all sin. This is why He gave us this sacrament of Penance, so that we can overcome this weakness and be clean of our sins.

“Now God knows that you will slip. He wants you to try your best, but if you slip up, what you need to do is say an Act of Contrition. Just tell God that you’re sorry, and He’ll forgive you. And be sure to come to confession as soon as possible. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes, Father. But if I don’t make it to confession, will I go to Hell?”

Father Mulroney could not help but chuckle. “My child, if God sent everybody to Hell for masturbation, Heaven would be a very lonely place.”

From behind the screen he could hear a giggle, and he knew he had reassured her. There was a fine line to be walked, and Father Mulroney had considerable experience in this regard. He needed to be stern, to show the Church’s disapproval of sinful activity. But he did not want to be so stern that he frightened potential penitents away. A little humor went a long way, and he knew that the Lord rejoiced with every lamb returned to the fold. “Now, my child, is there anything else on your mind?”

“Well, Father, I have this friend…”

A little warning light turned on in Father Mulroney’s sin detection system. Whenever anybody talked about a friend in confession, they were always talking about themselves.

“Tell me about your friend. Is he doing something that worries you?”

“Not exactly, Father. You see, he’s a boy, but he likes to dress up like a girl.”

“Like a girl? Do his parents know about this?”

“Yes, Father.”

“And do they approve?”

“Well, his mother approves. I’m not to sure about his father, but he’s not stopping him.”

“I see. How often is your friend dressing up like this?”

“He does it a couple of times every month, Father. And two weeks ago he started dressing up all the time.”

“All the time, you say?”

“Yes, Father. He’s been wearing girl’s clothes for the past three weeks.”

“And how long does your friend intend to keep doing this?”

“I think he wants to do this all summer.”

“What do his friends think about it?”

“His friends don’t know about it, Father.”

“But you do?”

“Yes, Father.”

“My child, are we talking about a friend, or are we talking about you? Tell the truth, now. I promise I won’t be angry.”

From the other side of the screen, Father Mulroney heard a little sob. He wished that he could reach out and give a little physical comfort to the child, but the protocols of the sacrament prevented this. “It’s all right, my child. You can tell me anything and I’m not allowed to tell anybody else. That’s the seal of confession. What you tell me is between you and God. I’m just standing in for Him. Don’t be afraid, He wants to forgive you.”

“Father,” said the girl who was, in fact, a boy, “it is me. I’ve been dressing up like a girl for years, and my mother said I could be a girl all summer. But I read something in the Bible, Father, and it said that a man who puts on a woman’s garment is an abomination. I don’t want to be an abomination, Father.”

“You are not an abomination, my child. You are a child of God, and He loves you. He will never turn His eyes away from you. Now tell me about this dressing up you do. When you dress up, do you get those feelings to touch yourself and your private parts the way you told me you were doing?”

“No, Father, I’ve been dressing up like a girl for a long time, long before I started getting these feelings.”

“All right, do you ever feel that perhaps you might want to do things that a girl does with a boy? I’m talking about those things that God has reserved for a husband and a wife.”

“You mean like kiss a boy? Ewww!”

“Okay, I think I have my answer. There’s nothing wrong with this little masquerade of yours as long as that’s all it is. In a small way, you are telling people a lie. You are telling them that you are a girl when you know that you’re really a boy. But as long as you don’t mean to do anything bad, then there’s no harm done. It’s like if somebody asks you how you’re feeling, and you really feel bad, but you don’t tell them you’re feeling bad because it would upset them. That’s a lie, but it’s not a malicious lie, and so it isn’t a sin.

“When you dress up in girl’s clothes, it isn’t a sin by itself, just as long as you aren’t doing it to hurt anybody. But I must warn you, if somebody would be hurt because of this, you have to tell them the truth. Do you think you can do this?”

“Yes, Father.”

“Very good. Now for your penance I want you to say six Our Father’s and six Hail Mary’s. And I want you to pray to the Blessed Mother for some special help, because women have a special place in God’s plan. I want you to understand how special this place is. Now let’s make a good Act of Contrition.”

“Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry…” Father heard the words repeated again, as he did from every penitent. And he recited the words of Absolution, as he did for all who came seeking forgiveness. He reflected that this was probably the most sincere and most difficult confession that the young lady had ever made. Then it struck him. Despite knowing the truth, he could not help but think of this penitent as a girl.

“Now go in peace, my child, and serve the Lord.”

“Thank you, Father.”

He slid the partition back into place. He reflected for a moment over the confession he had just heard, and could not help being touched. He made a silent prayer to the Blessed Mother to watch over her. Then he slid back the screen to hear his next penitent.

“Bless me, Father,” said the deep, very masculine voice from behind the screen, “for I have sinned. It’s been about three months since my last confession.”

“Welcome back to the fold, my son. Now what’s on your mind?”

“Well, I missed mass a few times.”

“How many times?”

“Three times, Father.”

“And were you unable to go to mass because of some circumstance beyond your control?”

“No, not exactly. One time I was up late with the guys at a bar, the other two times I just slept late. I’m not proud of it, Father, and I want to get right with God again.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place. Is there anything else on your mind?”

“Uh, well that bar I told you about, Father? It wasn’t just a bar. It had dancers in it.”

“Oh? What sort of dancers?”

“Uh, they were strippers, Father.”

“I see. Did you know that this kind of dancing went on in that bar?”

“Uh, yeah, I did.”

“And you went to see them anyway?”

“Uh, yes, it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“And did the dancing arouse you?”

“Oh, yes, I mean, she was really, uh, I mean, sorry, Father.”

“It’s good that you’re sorry, my son. Now did this dancing lead you to other acts of impurity? Did you have carnal relations with a woman other than your wife?”

“Well, it DID get my motor running if you know what I mean, Father, but I didn’t cheat on my wife. Fact is, I’d never cheat on her. I’m kind of ashamed that I even went to the bar in the first place.”

“Good. You should be ashamed, but you didn’t stray, and that shows your commitment to the vows of marriage. Remember these vows when you are tempted, my son, and they will sustain you. Now do you have anything else to confess?”

“Well, I have a bad temper, Father, and I kind of flew off the handle a few times. I got mad at my wife, and then I got mad at my daughter, and I even got mad at my Pop. I really feel bad about it because I upset them.”

“Did you apologize to them?”

“Yes I did, Father.”

“Good, you seem to have the right attitude. Anger has its place, my son. Even our Lord became angry. But as our Lord taught us, forgiveness is more powerful. And if you can forgive your enemy, the Lord can certainly forgive you. Now before I absolve your sins, is there anything else you would like to tell me?”

The man hesitated for a minute. “Father,” he said, “I’ve got this friend, and he lets his son dress like a girl.”

* * * * *

Nine o’clock finally came, and the last of the confessions had been heard. Father Mulroney peeked out of the confessional to see if anybody was still in need of his services. Thankfully, they had all departed.

Back at the rectory, Father Krasley was making coffee. “Well, Chuck, how was your evening?” he asked.

”Oh, same old, same old. You know how it is. Two weeks of hearing confessions and you’ve heard it all.”

Father Krasley chuckled. “Isn’t that the truth? I don’t think there’s been an original sin since the time of Adam and Eve.”

They both laughed. Then, as they waited for the coffee to brew, they heard each other’s confession.

* * * * *

Will O’Connell wiped his brow as the family emerged from church. He liked Father Mulroney. His sermons were short and sweet and he didn’t take forever saying Mass. Will didn’t mind performing his weekly duty, and it made him feel good to take communion with his family. It was his lot to set the proper example for the family.

He smiled as Doris and the girls walked with him to the car. Kim removed the white veil she had worn to Church, maintaining the custom of showing respect by covering her head. Maggie wore the straw hat she got for Easter, while Doris wore a veil similar to Kim’s. He was a little upset at the thought of Kim covering her head because she was, in fact, really a boy, and boys were expected to show their respect by removing any headgear in God’s house. But the priest had assured him it was all right, so he wasn’t worried. Not too much, anyway.

Will looked at his watch. “You know,” he said, “I think this is a great day to go out for breakfast. Who wants pancakes?”

“Me. Me. Me!” said his daughters in unison. He piled them into the car with Doris and they drove off for the local diner.

As his flock departed, Father Mulroney looked out from the steps of the church. The crowd was beginning to gather for the next mass that Father Krasley would offer. The sun was warm in the blue sky, birds were singing cheerfully, and butterflies lit from flower to flower. Yes, it was a lovely day that the Lord had given us, and he was thankful to be a priest.

(End of Part 2)

 © 2005 Valentina Michelle Smith

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